Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda. Wülferhampton has no duty executioner. Why would such a benign and enlightened realm need one? Besides. When it comes to dispensing justice, your beloved Bretwalda believes in the personal touch. That is all.
What’s going on with you?? You seem a bit twitchy. Is there something you are trying to cover up?
Ever thought of sub-contracting during the busy summer months 🤷♂️
That’s what the oubliette is for.
But there is a @dutytorturer.bsky.social - I’m sure you must have a duty executioner tucked away somewhere.
The duty torturer becomes the duty executioner when he gets sloppy. Luckily, our guy is skilled and conscientious and attentive to his work. I hear he even whistles happy little tunes while he works his magic. I dunno myself, I couldn't hear it over the screaming even if he does.
I wouldn’t be going around suggesting the DT can get sloppy if I were you.
Good morning Fluffy 😊
Yes, he personally hires someone to do it.
"hires"
Ultimately, yes. You can’t really intimidate the people you have to hire to intimidate all the others.
I didn't understand it either.
I assumed alcohol impairment
Probably.
Perhaps create a Wulferhampton Crypteia to keep the serfs in line...
So that explains the squirrel in the oubliette.
Has the @dutytorturer.bsky.social not been “little overzealous” once or twice in his job?
I most certainly have not. Undisclosed underlying health issues are always a risk, but no client has ever died as a direct result of their treatment. In fact a number have left us in better general health* than when they arrived! *They may have been worse in very specific terms.** ** They were
…
He obviously meant they have no *full-time* duty executioner. Of course you gotta hire temporary help around the Holidays, to deal with the holiday crowds.
I think that’s stretching the credulity of the words used a bit thin…
He prefers to go by Bob, not Duty Executioner, & you may find him over at the Mead Hall on karaoke nights. His backup band are the Knights of the Roundish Table.
Wulferhampton has no functioning bin collection either.
The first four words of that sentence were enough.
That to