The artificial indoor slope in Dubai is quite fun—but I think the key there is that it’s also indoors and small… and no one cares about the waste of it

not only is this all ridiculous (troy + jena?!) it manages to be deeply goyische.

You can sand sled (it's a ton of fun-- I've only seen it in Great Sand Dunes National Park, but it has to be other places as well), so I don't see why sand skiing and sand boarding should be impossible. This seems like a missed opportunity.

Not sure there’s much sand on those mountains either

No, but they have options other places. If they wanted to make a truly novel way of entertaining yourself while strapping boards to your feet, they have options. No need to pretend to be Switzerland.