do not say to me "get them some better knives" long-time readers will recall that multiple times now i have gotten them some better knives. they will not use them. it isn't an issue of their knives needing sharpened either, they're like, steak knives
obvious, simple solution: take their old knives and drop them into an active volcano
my dad uses one of the nicer ones i got them to SPLIT KINDLING
getting a very "all their cutting boards are glass" vibe here
they have those slide-out ones that are built into the kitchen so thankfully those are wood but they do have the world's least reliable stove that barely fucking works at all and a bunch of skim and fat-free dairy products
...so, no active volcanoes nearby then, I take it?
My dad is like this with tools - I got him an electric drill one year and he instantly lost 1) the charger, and 2) the drill bits. Parents! 🙄
The human story: we spend our children's' adolescence going nuts because they make bad decisions and we are powerless to stop them; then whoops! we look up and our parents are making bad decisions and we are powerless to stop them too! 1/2
2/2 And then, in our 70s and 80s, we go along doing things the way we have always liked to do them, and our children & grandchildren are hopping up and down with irritation because they can't control our decisions.
I see people in my life doing food prep with steak knives all the time and it still feels like I'm looking into a portal to Hell
i watch a lot of british ag television where someone will prepare a dish w fresh produce and damn some of those people have some terrible knives! not universally but their bad knives seem to be worse than even our worst ones. they look like they've been in a castle armory for 400 years
american hyper ostentatious consumption seems to actually be the right call for this one specific thing. if you can afford a good knife you should buy the good knife. an american would be ashamed to be cooking with some of those scimitars on television in front of god and the queen
maybe all their good ones got seized by the cops
They should expand the definition of knife crime
We are, at least at this time, allowed to have nice sharp knives in our houses and to have a knife in our possession if we've just bought it and are taking it straight home. Although there's a campaign now to stop knife crime by not selling any knives that are pointy, hopefully that dies a death
are nice pricey sharp knives seen as kind of a status symbol among people who like to cook there the same way they are here or does the fact that the public associates knives generally with an element of criminality make them less-so a thing to boast about and show off
Nice knives are a status symbol for sure. We don't carry them around though.
we don't really either, the only people you see out in public with a big knife are student chefs commuting from culinary school and madmen. or a combo of the two
People will start selling 80% uppers but for knives
May I recommend Bundt cake pan and corn holder? It's always kept my fingers safe from harm! bsky.app/profile/bene...
they straight up will not do that, they insist on doing it this stupid dangerous way because that is what they learned to do as kids in like 1952
I need instructions on how to do it the stupid dangerous way from 1952.
shuck, hold it straight up and down by the stem end so the tip is pressed firmly down in a slippery giant puddle of corn juices, use a horrible rusty antique paring knife to just cut into the side of the cob and then straight down, slicing off a ribbon of kernels. rotate and repeat 4x. bag kernels
So dangerous. The rusty antique paring knife is a nice touch. It all goes smooth until...WELL, that never happened before!!!!
can't have the waste of cutting off the pointy end so there is a flat spot, now can we? that would just be silly
Screamingggggggg 😭
Godspeed then 😭
ooooh interesting
Obv make sure you've got plenty of stalk left over on the end or it doesn't work as well!
This is brilliant!
It works super well and catches the corn to boot!
this feels so much like reading about my own dad and stepmom honestly do they also seem to always have expired food everywhere? every time i visit i feel compelled to grocery shop and replace their lunch meat from 1998
Like how much is the process of aging and how much is specific to growing up in the 1950s? Anyway, I'm headed up to my parents' home for the second weekend in a row and I should be thankful but I'm mostly just annoyed.
They have all this home maintenance they were putting off for various far out times (my mom retiring, finishing chemo) and seem to have actively not told me. Anyway, my mom has been hanging all their laundry for over a year. They're not rich but could absolutely afford another dryer.
oh my god my mom has been operating their washing machine with a WRENCH because they never bothered to replace the physical plastic dial that turns it on when it snapped off! for like, multiple years!
I attached my small locking wrench to the spindle when the knob broke off our washing machine in an old rental and it worked fine for years, until the machine finally died. It was way easier than finding a replacement or bugging our landlady to do so 🤷
Elizabeth, I'm sorry for ranting on your page. I hope your Dad's aim is true (only the corn, no getting hurt!)
don't worry if he cuts himself he'll take really bad care of the wound 🫡
