"Autistic people lack empathy" Oh? Then show me how good you non-autistic folks are at empathizing with the autistic experience. I'll wait.
Replies
If extreme empathy and a lack of empathy are both “characteristics” of autism, maybe empathy shouldn’t be a characteristic to determine autism. I know far more extreme empaths that are in the spectrum than the other way around.
jul 30, 2025, 3:53 pm • 5 0 • view
Completely agree. Empathy is not a characteristic to determine autism, one way or the other. There are other criteria that diagnostic that can impact how we experience empathy, but "too much" or "too little" empathy itself is not diagnostic
jul 30, 2025, 7:39 pm • 2 0 • view
Trying to judge empathy without distinguishing different forms of empathy is abhorrently stupid anyway.
jul 30, 2025, 9:06 pm • 2 0 • view
Absolutely.
jul 30, 2025, 9:12 pm • 2 0 • view
It's completely the other way around. NTs are so lacking of empathy, too me I think most of them are narcissists.
jul 30, 2025, 9:05 pm • 1 0 • view
As someone who devoted a 15-yr career chunk to identifying and placing autistic children into rich and appropriate preschool environments, I feel pretty empathetic. I'll wait for you to correct me about how "actually, you have no idea how it feels."
jul 30, 2025, 5:34 pm • 0 0 • view
Yeah, this isn't it Charlotte. Just because you work with a group of people doesn't mean you can see things from inside their brain. I understand you are trying to prove your empathy here but it comes off doing the opposite.
jul 30, 2025, 5:52 pm • 3 0 • view
"Being autistic is difficult because other people don't understand us. Trying to makes them assholes."
aug 1, 2025, 4:44 am • 0 0 • view
I'm glad to hear that you feel like you've been able to empathize with the autistic experience! I hope it's led you to understanding your own social, sensory, and executive functioning support needs and being a great resource for others in your life :)
jul 30, 2025, 7:48 pm • 3 0 • view
I also hope your 15 year career has shown you how very few non-autistic people take the time to understand autistic people, deeply listen to us and trust what we say, and meaningfully support us in even tiny, no-cost ways. If more people did, the world would be a lot easier to be autistic in, imo
jul 30, 2025, 7:48 pm • 1 0 • view
Your reply demonstrates a lack of empathy. An autistic person is venting about the rampant ableism we face, & you jumped in to defend yourself, specifically, as if it was a personal attack, essentially scolding them for being upset. And people say we autistics are the ones who can’t “read the room”?
jul 30, 2025, 5:49 pm • 5 0 • view
I responded to say there *are* people out here who make a real effort to learn what it's like to be autistic. I can see now what a horrible waste of time that was. I should have been a cheerleader for the 40-hour ABA programs everyone around me was pushing. Creating humane programs instead, ugh
aug 1, 2025, 4:51 am • 0 0 • view
Most of the time, many of us have too much empathy, without the confidence or ability to direct it in a neurotypical / 'acceptable' way, from the midst of our crippling emotion tornado. Personally, I tend to autopilot and appear to be a cold, hard bitch, while I'm breaking inside. Fun times!
jul 29, 2025, 9:35 pm • 13 1 • view
I hope that you can find a place where you can safely experience those emotions in the end. Holding in that emotional tornado can do so much damage over time
jul 30, 2025, 7:56 pm • 2 0 • view
Thanks, yes. I find it comes out in the end. Always does. And I've family around me who get it. I think feeling safe is a key factor for many of us, when considering how/when we allow ourselves to unmask and deal with stuff. It's why I can't do the whole crying at a funerals thing.
jul 30, 2025, 9:13 pm • 1 0 • view
Working in schools, I know a lot of ND kids seem fine, sound fine, 'How was your day?' 'Fine.' Then get home and it aaaallllll pours out - total overwhelm collapse/explosion. It's not always just overwhelm, sometimes they've been holding that for hours. Now they're in a safe space to deal with it.
jul 30, 2025, 9:16 pm • 0 0 • view
Who are you quoting?
jul 30, 2025, 3:33 pm • 0 0 • view
regulars often have to loudly signal their empathy for lame behavioral social purposes, "look, i am empathetic! look!" this is not seen as insincere, but the normal expression of emotions. autists often keep their empathy internal, which is externally seen as a sheer lack, since the emotion is quiet
jul 30, 2025, 2:33 pm • 9 0 • view
This pretty much matches my experience as well. I have often found what's considered empathetic to feel almost performative and shallow. Like loudly acknowledging the emotion is more important than feeling it or understanding it.
jul 30, 2025, 7:52 pm • 3 0 • view
When I feel the most empathetic, I'm generally trying to deeply understand another's experience and see things from through their context the best I'm able. That takes more time and energy, but it also doesn't seem to be considered empathy by some people or in some situations, and that confuses me
jul 30, 2025, 7:52 pm • 3 0 • view
Who is saying this? I've literally never heard this.
jul 30, 2025, 5:35 pm • 1 0 • view
It's been a common belief in autism studies for three decades. It's only being challenged now, in maybe the last decade.
jul 30, 2025, 6:04 pm • 5 0 • view