i'm trying to whip up a furore here colin stop being reasonable

Local small business? Electric vehicle? Recycling bottles? I'm sorry to tell you: milkman is woke.

Rickets? Not much equality law? Chips and curry (which wasn’t curry)? Awful carpets?

not bad. Carpets has got a lot of potential. GET RID OF WOKE WOOD FLOORS

I think it needs to be weirder. 1. PROPER Bin men. 2. smoking in pubs. 3. pub carpets. 4. pickled Eggs. 5. White Dog poo 6. British Leyland. 7. Scrumping.

8. 2-stroke lawn mowers. 9. Leaded petrol. 10. Pebble Dash. 11. Slide rules. 12. Fountain Pens. 13. Fire Engines with bells. 14. Sewing machines. 15. Newspaper rounds.

Hang on I have 8, 11 and 12 on that list

You should write a post about how impossible it was to find a local child to mow your lawn because none of them knew what a choke was and they all refused to be paid with a cheque signed with a fountain pen… and something about using a slide rule. Would do numbers.

The slide rule is easy. You use it to calculate the square footage and the amount you pay in shillings.

British Leyland has real possibilities.

Cars that start reliably and reach their destination are foreign and suspicious

Handle operated car windows and flip out indicators. Spokey-dokeys.

They are German. I am old enough to remember that there was a campaign that one should not buy German cars

I was born in the shadow of a German car plant because my dad worked for Ford in Halewood, Dagenham AND Germany I am the very personification of that campaign....

My father worked in textiles (inc carpets) and had to have a British car

Still pre 1979 there was a mill for every day in the year in the valley. By 1983 there was one

This is the one, there’s definitely discourse potential here

help i've generated too much engagement from my engagement bait where do these people get the time i've got to get to the tip!

BRING BACK GOING TO THE TIP!!!

You can't call it a tip or you'll go to jail. Got to call it a Recycling Centre

Going to the tip sounds a bit centralised and woke. Just dump it somewhere

Bad news. We’ve been trumped - someone raised Isos loo paper. I may have to go and recover for a bit

See you and raise you: asbestos; and 60 fags a day

Duvets. They are foreign and woke

I think you'll fnd they're actually 'Continental Quilts', so called as to avoid confusion with home-grown, proper British bedding..

You mean base materials imported to the North West and then mainly manufactured by people of SE Asian origin?

Are you telling me that they no longer grow cotton on the verdant banks of the Mersey?

It’s wokery gorn mad.

You’re confusing that with the transport of slaves who picked the cotton?

As a born and bred Bristolian, it’s a confusion I’m generally free of.

Also we didn't care about heating bills back then. Because we had carpets. Scrap net zero. Bring back Axminster.