as funny as it is to imagine a scenario where Trump just randomly keels over and dies because he is an unhealthy senile 80 year old, it's important to keep in mind that the scenario where he has a stroke or heart attack and is merely severely incapicitated but remains alive is MUCH FUNNIER
This would be my strong preference: he lives mentally quasi acute but totally incapable of walking, caring for himself, or Presidenting. He is abandoned by everyone, and spends the rest of his days trapped with his thoughts.
Would that represent a change?
and he makes them keep doing the ass-kissing cabinet meetings
The meanest lady in my building had a stroke and *she turned nice*. Imagine that one happening. Total chaos in GOP-land!
Quick, somebody grab some hand puppets and Christmas Carol his ass.
just a little firmware update
OMG, how hilarious and amazing would that be! I won’t hold my breath, but thanks for the fun fantasy.
Yeah, imagining him suffering and miserable is making me smile
Because he won't step down?
But given his last public appearances, how exactly would we be able to tell the difference?
good post
That is my favorite scenario. It's the perfect hell for everyone involved.
Think ariel sharon. Guy was in a coma for 8 years!! en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ariel_S...
God, especially if it's excruciatingly painful.
What a rich fate it would be for him to have to witness the goings-on in the world from a hospital bed, unable to weigh in on them. Losing the ability to command attention would be utter hell for him.
The first scenario is not funny, Vance is worse.
Wouldn't it be great if he has to live for years in locked in syndrome. Unable to move or communicate but fully conscious.
His personality already mirrors Woodrow Wilson after his stroke. If he follows suit Melania will be THE WORST Edith imaginable
And much, much more to our advantage
It's funny right up until the point where he decides the world can't go on without him and launches the missiles
All those scenarios are horrible because JD Vance would be in charge. As awful as it is, Democrats need to drag Trump and his rotting brain across the finish line.
Now I'm imagining Trump as Christopher Pike in The Menagerie, fully there but only able to communicate with a single blinking light. It is glorious and I want it so badly.
He can make the light turn red for caps lock.
The Morse code tapping out "Nobody knows more about being incapacitated than I do..."
Weird mental image where he’s pretty catatonic and all he can say is ‘gerbil.’ Why gerbil is the word in my image? No clue.
How would you tell?
A lot of people very close to Trump would do very poorly under a Vance administration and vice versa so it would probably result in them tearing his corpse apart while fighting over it or something bsky.app/profile/mark...
When it came out I never expected Robocop to be prescient. When it came out I likewise never expected Death of Stalin to be prescient.
Weird 40k fascist guy ending where they put him on a golden throne to keep their cult of personality alive
Real Death of Stalin hour
ALSO all of the people who have been excommunicated by Trump (from Elon to Term 1 Establishment GOP) who may come rushing back to try to get in again with Vance.
As if Vance has any juice of his own. After Trump it's 'Guns, Germs and Thiel'.... (H/T Gregor Sansa)
As embarrassing as it’s been watching Biden’s family and advisors propping up his corpse this past year I can’t imagine how bad it would be with Don Jr, Eric, and Stephen Miller playing puppeteer
my prediction: joebiden outlives donold by five years (or more). also: donold audibly shits his pants while delivering his 2nd inaugural.
If it’s always projection for them how much have they been weekend at Bernie’s since 1/20/2021? I’d bet a bit.
Him becoming a vegetable would be the closest he’s gotten to eating one in decades
Unless he likes all toppings on his burgers I guess
Some people with dementia have anosognosia, a lack of insight into their disease. It’s not denial, but a lack of awareness. My mom had it. My hope is that he does NOT have it. As the disease takes him apart, and he is forced to withdraw from public life, I hope he’s fully aware what’s happening.
Would we notice?
Weekend at Bernies - in DC! I can see his MAGAs carrying him around dead.
Picturing him ringing his stupid Hector Salamanca bell every time he wants a Diet Coke or pisses himself.
I’m want him like Tio Salamanca from breaking bad except he can’t spell for shit and just rings the little bell non-stop when he is happy or angry
what if he falls over on Vance taking both of them out at once
Then we get that weenie Mike Johnson
I think it’s highly likely that they’re gonna be doing a Weekend at Bernie’s thing at some point in the next few years.
Gibbering and drooling, unable to move or communicate but full Cognizant
really leaning into trump as adonis style kayfabe the moment he has a profound stroke
He will say the n-word on live tv before this is all over 🤞🏻
The DHS tweet would suggest this
While we're fantasizing, I'd like the incident to be a direct result of him doing something he was told not to do, a la looking into the eclipse. Trying to stunt-drop into the inauguration maybe.
Nah. Orca. Orca would be funniest.
I can't wait for his occultation
unfortunately this does not solve the problem of donald trump being the president so im still going to opt for the former
If he was physically unable to play golf, I think he’d lose his will to live
The Trump Boys
amy chua.
I'm still not yet convinced Ivanka won't return for round two.
I feel like Ivanka's being held in reserve
true enough and the probability increases if he has a stroke
If Ivanka returns he’ll have another stroke
Yeah, it won't be Melania, she has nothing but contempt for the whole megillah. The minute he kicks it she will get up and walk out the White House door, dropping the key in the Rose Garden, tugging Barron after her like a doleful, obedient puppy.
The true test of whether God truly loves fools and the United States of America and protects her … Does Trump turn vegetable sometime in 2025 and the Vance-Musk War commence.
vp jimmy bowman was the inspiration for twelfth year president nick offerman in civil war. alex garland is from the future.
They're going to "Weekend at Bernie's" the fuck out of Trump when he finally kicks the bucket.
Do they 25th him or do they try and Weekend At Bernie's it
I think his single biggest requirement in choosing cabinet members will be: "swears to never use the 25th amendment"
When its presidential it’s called doing a ‘Dave’
whats this a reference to?
youtu.be/taDreDT3E6A?...
This could be the first major test of deepfake technology.
My personal bet is on Steven Miller wearing Cheetolini’s face Silence of the Lambs style and insisting “I’m DJT. Nothing whatsoever is wrong, or out of the ordinary”. You know, because in a world where all the bets point to “we’re fucked”, might as well pick the most outlandish option you’ve got.
The latter would be the best movie El Chimpo would ever have been in (Sorry, not sorry Home Alone 2). Too bad it would be a documentary.
The Cabinet will be too afraid of the cult to 25th him and Vance isn’t capable of convincing them to do it
poor McKinley, shot with an ivor Johnson gun, hard times. hard times.
It would be great if it played out so that 25th A is absolutely unavoidable, sets a great precedent.
I think no matter what, Weekend at Bernie's. They need the drooling masses kept complacent and Vance is a disaster as a public figure.
I wonder if the Trump die-hards would believe Vance had a part in Trump's demise (especially since they don't see his obvious decline) and fully reject him, or if Thiel's money could actually keep him in MAGA good graces.
He'd have to Project-2025-it pretty hard to give people in this admin a reason to keep him around.
I truly think that they'd rebel against Vance. Maybe he'd be able to hold onto power anyway with all these powerful ppl who support him but I think no one trusts that guy haha
The evil part of me wants him to be incapacitated enough that he can't serve any longer but well enough to comprehend it all unraveling, understand what's happening when his freaky loyalists scuttle away to save themselves, and watch as the Whitehouse is stripped of the vulgar gilding.
Physically dependant on people that despise him.
reminds me of the nazi planet episode of og star trek
like he can’t talk and is paralyzed from the neck down 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
A Dave scenario but instead of replacing him with an affable Bill Pullman it’s just one of those Jack-o-Lantern trashbags
Someone said "Stephen Miller in a one-man Weekend at Bernie's" and I can't stop envisioning that, my brain is a hellhole now
He didn’t make that many public appearances last time; he could be basically comatose for a month or two and as long as someone wrote a bunch of deranged posts for him no one would ever know.
I bet a staffer as an AI trained soley on his twitter and truth social posts, making a template ready formpost where the target du jour can be subbed in place of "Crooked Hillary" or "Lyin Joe".
Kevin Kline?
Yeah that one
Bill Pullman would have been fun to watch in that!
👍
That scenario puts Stephen Miller in charge of basically everything with no checks whatsoever. As bad as Trump is, Miller like 10 times worse.
“You are even smarter and stronger than ever” Marco Rubio says to the permanent vegetative drool generator.
I KNOW RIGHT??!!
It'd be God-tier trolling on Jimmy Carter's part if the flag-half-mast gets him piss-scream-crying so hard he blows a gasket and doesn't even make it to his own fucking inauguration on January 20th. We would have the best day ever here on this website.
I'd enjoy it just for the Discourse around if he counts as President if he's never inaugurated.
"does this twitch of the eyelid count as an 'I do' for purposes of being sworn in as God-Emperor?"
Sounds like it would be official enough for them!
Looking forward to the knives, blackmail & possibly dueling pistols come out of the woodwork as the family members fight to be puppeteer.
Ariel Sharon lived in a vegetative state for something like 8 years.
You called it
🤔 deciding between death and being a vegetable is a tough choice. If the death came in the form of a stroke on camera,mid lie, then that would be poetic. Otherwise a stroke that leaves him as a vegetable but not just wheelchair bound and unable to talk like Hector Salamanca in Breaking Bad.
It’s possible that a searing hatred of Vance will be the most effective means of uniting this country post-trump.
Um, how would we know if he was "severely incapacitated?" Becaus he's seemed severely incapacitated for a decade now.
I prefer "deeply satisfying and eagerly awaited" to "much funnier" but hey, toe-MAY-toe, toe-MAH-toe.
the warhammer 40k memes spawning from this will be insufferable
The Orange Emperor of MAGAkind
Excited for someone to post on trump’s truth social that he has been horus heresied by don jr. and lives in the warp now
he is the light by which our ships traverse. no that is not the north star stop saying that you're wrong
I hope for this.
And after surviving like this, I hope he has the same ending as Hector.
8 years as a vegetable like Ariel Sharon
Stroke also sounds like a very plausible scenario.
The Supreme Court's entire agenda being overwritten by the need to arbitrate increasingly bizarre 25th Amendment disputes between different factions in the administration.
I've been holding out for him stroking out on a toilet ever since "covfefe"...🤞
But wait. It's even better on live TV.
Non-fluent! A-phas-i-a! Non-fluent! A-phas-i-a! Non-fluent! A-phas-i-a! Non-fluent! A-phas-i-a! Non-fluent! A-phas-i-a! Non-fluent! A-phas-i-a! Everybody!
What is the Thiel-Musk relationship like now? If it's not good, the Trump-Vance war could be interesting.
In this world, a lot more random things will get officially named "of America" Jamaica Bay of America Bay of Pigs of America Mall of America of America
how dare you say mean words about the guy who wants you dead
I’m rooting for locked-in syndrome, and then another 10 years of life.
this is a faustian bargain, as we'd then have president vance!
And because he is President, this second scenario is more likely. He is surrounded by people who will get him medical treatment. So...there's that!!
Biden should livestream running a 5k if this happens
