it’s almost midnight, which means it’s time for some of you to listen to vigilante shit for the first time ur welcome open.spotify.com/track/0GKDhq...

this... this is not good.

Worth getting out of bed to grab my headphones.

So good. 💪🏻

It’s been a while since I listened to the album but this was one of the better tracks.

Meh, I'm stuck on this old one www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3N1...

At your recommendation, Anna Bower, I listened to this track for the first time. I did not care for it. But I gave it a fair try. Once you get past midnight though… open.spotify.com/track/27mdmX... You can party with @rparloff.bsky.social who NEVER SLEEPS!

Is that the singer that's dating Travis Kelce?

🤣🤣🤣 Yes. Bold of you to troll the Swifties so, though!

I feel that you and @matthewcort.land might have much in common! (“Much” defined as “helpful and precise explanations of legal developments for non-lawyers” plus “love of Taylor Swift.”)

Opsec maybeline is a go. Make the enemy blush. Fight the rouge's all the way to the foundation. Shadow the line and keep your powder dry.... Godspeed

JD Vance will pop in and put on a clinic for getting the perfect smoky eyes

bsky.app/profile/jooc...

And that 5k Elmo said we should get with all that money they saving.. cough cough

Perhaps to show how manly he is he'll conduct his press briefings from the makeup room, where everything is made up? Oh, they'll call it the "Powder Room." For male pow-der. 🚬😎

J.D. “Angel of Death” Vance is the eyeliner guy. Hegseth is the beefy-faced nude lipstick guy.

Pus

The Alpha Whaaaaa!!!fighter.

He can’t do his own make up. How much is that costing taxpayers.

Rogues wear rouge.

This man is a joke. I guess he hopes to look good. Maybe he’ll put on a wig, fake lashes, some hip, butt, boob enhancers, heels, and a feather boa, and lip sync on the White House lawn. But that’s an embarrassment to drag queens.

I would consider this a worthwhile expense if he would sit the vile orange man down and teach him how to use a blender brush.

No trans people allowed, but Leaky Pete is going to make sure the warfighters are looking FABULOUSSS!

It's for state media to prepare for private "shows".

Of course not, and I find it offensive that you'd say that about Pete Hegseth. Eyeliner is JD's department

Ah; that’s how he’s “restoring the warrior ethos” to the military. What a fraud.

Worked for JD with the Pontiff.

Omg

Anything to make our fighting forces "more lethal."

Lipstick line so perfect that you can kiss someone goodbye Best eyeshadow for sniper camouflage Most appropriate blusher for effective bomb disposal Mascara application for fighter pilots

Why are all these manly men so in love with make up?

He should get some tips from @benjaminwittes.lawfaremedia.org www.dogshirtdaily.com/p/get-ready-...

I thought drag queens are not welcome in the armed forces. Guess I am wrong.

He looks more like a blend and contour guy

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😹😹😹😹😹👏 I'm dying 🤣

Pete Hegseth and JD Vance can trade mascara tips. And may that stop right there. I know what you're thinking now!

Incompetent, a drunk, abuser of women & super vain. What a winning combination of traits in a secretary of defense.

does his wife work for the government? why is she involved in spending money on this? "...and the defense secretary's wife, Jennifer Hegseth, also a former Fox producer, expressed their approval for the upgrade before it was undertaken."

I saw this headline 3 separate times before I realized it wasn't The Onion.

Seems unnecessary. No one else at the head of the Department of Defense needed a make up room.

Maybe they can get his sideburns even.

The room is equipped with an icemaker and a full bar

That’s funny.

Will they carry orange cake power?

Ridiculous

His boozing fucks with his complexion

I'm ded. 🤣🤣🤣

We're gonna smokey eye them out of their hidey holes!

IT WAS FORETOLD IN VEEP THE PROPHECY IS VALID! Gary: Uh I'm sorry. Who taught you to do a smoky eye? Marjorie: Joint Special Operations Command. JSOC. Gary: Aha. It's not bad.

🤣

Yes and make them blush

Will Sarah Huckabee Sanders have time available to be an instructor? She knows the perfect technique.

He and Vance can do eyeliner together.

Strongly with the war fighters screaming murder. Dude is a hack - even by trump’s standards.

Ha

The jokes are writing themselves with this one🤣

Hegseth is a target-rich environment for mockery-fighters.

humour and sarcasm were always progressive virtues. Regressive goblins have always just had crude, misogynistic and impotent attempts at jokes.

…and of course no graphic design sense.

How soon until the first makeup artists comes out with stories we're not gonna be surprised about... "he cornered me in the room and...."

Nah, they'll be fine so long as they don't wear anything that looks like upholstery...

Exactly!

There might be a closet at the Pentagon that would do the trick

No, he’s going to have JD teach that.

Gonna teach us how to kill with death by a thousand cuts.

This story is how we know DoD really hates Hegseth, because unlike the Signal and personnel leaks this is newsworthy mainly because it’s very embarrassing.

🤣

JD can give him a tutorial.. 👀

Warfighter by Sephora

Exactly how lethal IS guyliner, anyway...?

Ask the Pope.

What happened to anti DEI? Real men don't wear makeup Jesse Waters @foxnewsradio.bsky.social

Blue Steel!

10/10 on this post

There’s a lyric for every occasion!

That doesn’t seem very DOGE to me.

Who would have guessed the secretary of defense would need or want a make-up mirror 🤣

I'm sad for the ones that won't get this reference

He should try a new wardrobe that doesn’t show any tattoos 🧌

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

🤣

More like "how to integrate the perfect smokey eye into your battlefield camo."

🤣😂

What, no spray tan booth? How about a mini bar? 🤣

Under Hegseth's DOD, Delta Force is no longer going to kill ISIS terrorists, they're just going to give them fabulous makeovers.

Sofafucker can give him some tips

Herr and makeup

I was a USMC Public Affairs Officer for 20+ years. I prepared people of all ranks from recruit to 4-Star to give hundreds of media interviews & monitored/mediated those interviews. Not one of those actual warfighters ever needed makeup unless it was for concealment because: actual warfighters.

He’s in the closet, like Vance. His mother said as much in her interview.

Maybe @benjaminwittes.lawfaremedia.org can give him pointers

We need a “Get Lethal with Me” cat eye tutorial @benjaminwittes.lawfaremedia.org

You should come on the show and we can do a live cat eye tutorial and GRWM video filming.

I recently had a song of mine added to a “get ready with me” Spotify playlist. I was very proud.

Link or it didn't happen

Yee of little faith open.spotify.com/playlist/4QV...

Ducks, check out another GRWM fan, @benjaminwittes.lawfaremedia.org, founder of @lawfaremedia.org & #DogshirtTV whose joyful antics can be relied upon for release of endorphins

How else do you think I was aware of GRWM? 🙃

Love it!!!

😉

Yes! Her makeup always looks great, she could help #SecDrunk w his technique.

Maybe when he is out of prison he can come Out with a line of combat eyeshadows. Or Bombing blushes Or Live ammo Lipstick A new biz venture for him. 💄

I love that future for him

You should run with this. Dan Bongino built a whole MAGA cosplaytriot business off of way worse ideas.

"Get Sober with Me"

I can't! 😂😂😂

Is it for him or for JD Vance to top up his eyeliner?

I see what you did there. She has a lyric for every situation

#priorities

You could teach them. Your cat eye technique is all pro

lol he’s upset about his sideburns

He has to look pretty for the boys

Nothing says warfighter like a makeup studio

❤️😆

Omg

He’s such an embarrassment.

😂 Fell out.

So #BoozeBoy is now also #SissyBoy ? Can't go anywhere without the proper eye shadow and base coat? A real war fighter🙄 I find it hard to believe that he made Major, the Guard must be giving rank out like candy.😂😅🤣 some leader...🤪

They do. They also give the bronze star to all officers who deploy. I guess they figure doing the job you signed up for is " heroic service"

If I remember correctly, it can be for "meritorious service in a combat zone. In Vietnam it was kind of an Attaboy award for all ranks. I almost got one, but I DROSD before the paperwork came back 😄

Wonder if Noem will teach him how to pout. 🗽🇪🇺🇺🇦🌻

Tulsi can teach Bride of Frankenstein gray highlights.

Agreed. 😳😂😭🤣🗽🇪🇺🇺🇦🌻

Hegseth cannot make difficult decisions. Instead he paints the house or prepares for pentagon propaganda. Pretty much a Fox News host.

Vance can show him how to apply eyeliner.

Probably hoping to gain more favor with Vice President Maybelline.

News Flash Dumbass: there’s not enough makeup in this world to make you look competent…

Anybody check to see if Maybelline was in on the Signal chat?

Meow!

Where's DOGE when you need them.

Great coverage of legal happenings... and she's a swiftie

Strange isn’t it how many MAGA men wear makeup like Trump and Vance yet hate on drag queens?

Your post🤣🤣🤣

They bitch about trans people and LGBTQ people in the military but the guy in charge of the military is getting a makeup studio in the PENTAGON. Is this a damn joke?

*Checks calendar* Nope, it’s 24 April, not April Fool’s

That’s so he can get his Cheeto dust ass kissing orange hue just right for the boss 😏

Most likely he's going to try to curry favor by spraypainting his face orange, much like toady business types who copy the bosses' hairstyle.

Curry. Haha.

🤡

Greasy windswept look says i just came down from the flight deck

That's JD's job

All that HRT and chicken legs 😂

Oh. My. God. (Bet he’s got some sweet underoos too)

Who pays for this? #wastefraudabuse

He’s the ultimate putz.

Honest to everything I’m reading today makes my eyes bug out and my mouth say “WTAF?”, non-abbreviated.

Woke muthafuka

Does he think that will make him look any smarter?

FFS

If someone wrote a script of this shit, no one would believe it

What is the budget for SecDef hair products? Between him and dumpy Trump they could probably fund USAID. What the actual fuck?

From the guy who hates gays.

after he concludes the Botox and teeth whitening touch ups

He wants a makeup room.

They are firing essential employees, shutting down critical departments and then…. opening a makeup studio at the pentagon 🤯

So they are firing people from needed positions but hiring makeup artists? 🤯

This is the perfect type of post that combines my two interests 🤣 TS and politics.

Smh

It is time to replace Hegseth with a Secretary of Defense who cares more about the welfare of American troops than his TV image. Then, Hegseth’s crimes—sharing war plans to individuals not cleared to receive them—must be prosecuted. If Hegseth is convicted, he must be thrown into prison.

No amount of makeup can make that mess look good.

are you telling me the "woke" military full of all types and colors never had a makeup studio but now they do because the manly men are in charge?

Can you do livestream on Signal?

🤣🤣🤣

Do they apply concealer to cover his lies?

He should use the same one ..both Trump and Vance use .!!

bsky.app/profile/patr...

This is absolutely perfect. No notes. 😻

😹

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

thought they didnt like men wearing makeup?

he will teach men to be vassals to their wives?

He’s also shaming “fat” troops

He looks very haggard, like someone who is way out of his element, is drinking way too much and is trying to hide it all!!!

🏆🏆🏆

My favorite part is where they refer to the makeup studio furnishings as "materiel."

There is something seriously wrong with this man.

The most vain

He thinks he's hot snot on a gold platter, but he's just cold boogers on a paper plate.

Wtf? 🤦‍♀️

So Pete has a second job at Fox News.

War fighters only

He and JD should get along famously.

I hate people saying that he messed up his sideburns - no, I tell you! He's simply not manly enough to grow proper ones.

What’s with these white men and make-up? They don’t like brown people yet they try to emulate us with their fake make-up?

These are the same people who think the U.S. Military has gone soft, is woke, etc.? Such a metaphor for how performative they are. The only makeup this guy should be worried about is camouflage.

This is so pitiful. Shows his priorities. Another international embarrassment.

That's some alpha male energy right there. Nothing says strong man like a well blended foundation and a coat of mascara!

JD is going to show him…

So he can text to everyone while as he exposes the military secrets and looks like 1 million bucks. Not it’s amazing the perks people get for sucking someone’s dick.

Jfc🤦‍♀️🤯

Contouring, baby. Sharpen those cheekbones!

Fucking princess bullshit.

New flags on the front lawn, pave over the Rose Garden, change the drapes, put up tacky gold ornaments all over, install a makeup room in the Pentagon; just normal redecorating when a new administration/autocrat takes over.......

What are taxpayers on the hook for next? Upcoming rape settlements?

The American people deserve qualified, competent, educated, professional leadership. Not a cultist devoted to being an ignorant asshole 24/7/365.

That sounds really tough and strong./s

👏🏼 👏🏼 👏🏼

And doggone it, people like me.

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

Sounds like some Vigilante Shit 😜

Prob so that Mrs. Headset doesn't have to go to a salon while we're dropping bombs.

He should take a lesson from JD

Ok, this guys has a problem. I think.

Waste, fraud and abuse!

It’s all flash and crash, burn coming up.

He's now denying this, but since both prez and VP wear makeup, he doesn't want to let them "out pretty" him.

getting a tattoo shop will scare the shit out of enemy.

INFADILS NO REGERTS $25 specials Sunday-Saturday

Is he a drag queen?

Or is she trans?

😭

Isn't having a metrosexual SoD a DEI hire?

🤣🤣🤣

Bro can’t even manage to keep his sideburns even.

Wouldn't it be more efficient to let the couch fucker do his makeup?

Trixie Mattel for SecDef.

America needs to get on some vigilante shit.

Hey I’m down for just some French farmers dumping piles of manure in DC shit 😂 Problem is our militarized MAGA cops will kill us all over a 💩 FREEEEEE-DUMB 👊🔥🇺🇸

Thissssssssssss

I see (and listen) to what you did there