Tomorrow morning he’s going to rebuild the Francis Scott Key bridge bigger and better than ever all by himself! Many people are saying he’s the greatest bridge builder in the history of the world!

Great….now maybe he can release the full, unredacted version of the Epstein files

Trump’s a good con artist. He lies every day to ALL Americans & they believe his lies. He has you ALL paying a $1 trillion more for food, gas, homes, clothing & cars & you are thinking things are great! How masterful a con this is! A stolen election was child’s play compared to this tariff con.

😂😂😂 Hopefully, he'll work so hard at conning people, his ankles will fail him.

😂😂😂

🤭🙄

Oh my hes such a phony

Not just 27 wars, "THE BEST WARS, SOME SAY THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WARS. SLEEPY JOE DIDN'T END ANY WARS!!! I JUST ENDED ANOTHER WHILE I TYPED THIS. WE'RE GOING TO MAKE WAR GREAT AGAIN!! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!!!"

😂

And he didn’t clock in until 10! Winning!

Oh no it was 1 pm. Never gets to office till after lunch.

He also loaded 5 diapers.

I bet he ate 3 hamberders and trafficked 2 children before ending the wars.

But he’s still pushing his extortion racket on Harvard to the tune of half a billion dollars.

Bc he knows more about everything than anyone…..

🤣🤣

It turns out they were the snowflakes all along...

He also saved me from being killed by a windmill today

What a zero! Biden could have stopped 40 wars and Harris 50 or more!! In an hour!😜

😂😂😂😂

What a guy

He lowered drug prices by well over 2000%

And the new director of dance at the Kennedy Center is gong to end leftist woke ideology in ballet. I’m not joking. That was in his letter to the president of the Center. www.nytimes.com/2025/08/25/a...

The Cracker Barrel win rests entirely on Gov. Newsom’s ledger

Well, he’s been normalizing the fact that he’s a dementia addled shithead for decades, time to refresh the brand

Basically the same.

😂😂😂

And he did all this after he became the first man to land on moon…

The Felon-in-Chief's "hubris" is off the chart. Our White House is like a bad dream that you can't wake up from.

You left out glazing Clemens in gold.

BREAKING: Donald Trump has deployed troops to find all the missing left socks from the laundry and finally hold the guilty parties accountable within 24 hours. Let the celebration begin.

🤣🤣🤣

Seeing this video makes me adopt the young persons response WTF, or I think there is also WTAF! Far more expressive than mere words.

Got the murder rate down to zero and gas under a buck fifty also.

No the murder rate is down 15,000%. That’s even better than zero

I’m still waiting on my check to arrive for my bp medicine. I thought I was getting paid with that 1300% drop there.

Me too!!

Murderers are murdering themselves it's that good

Right?!? Can’t beat that

🎶 What a man What a man What a mighty, mighty man

🤣

Chuck Norris is jealous of Donald Trump

28.5

And since we’re talking about it my insurance company is now paying me 1400% for taking my medication.

Believe Survivors bsky.app/profile/free...

MAGA cockroaches wont be satisfied until he gets Auntie Jemima and Uncle Ben back on the boxes.

AND got a big ol butt kiss from all the cabinet.

Lmao

🤣😂🤣😂

Next thing you know, he will have turned down Taylor Swift's marriage proposal to him too, forcing her to choose Travis instead.

Sure but will he be invited to Taylor's wedding?

She's too old for Royal pedo to want to declare prima nocta. It likes them young.

No but he will show up anyway and demand that he gets to keep the bouquet.

🤣🤣🤣

The IVs must be an energy boosting substance...soon he will be blasted into space like Bruce Willis in order to save the world from an asteroid headed our way

He is keeping your posts to add to his rewriting of history... Without a snark tag you may as well be in his Cabinet...

😂😅😆😄

After lunch he saved the whales and invented oxygen

When will he dictate the menu at Cracker Barrel?

It was a good thing he had all his lapdo-- er, Cabinet members this afternoon to remind him of his sheer awesomeness...

Gavin saved Cracker Barrel!!!!! Thanks for your attention 😊

It’s all in a day’s work for the President of Europe.

But what about the Epstein Files?

What a man, what a man, what a mighty man!

Is that all?? Slacker! 🤣

But, did he personally select Taylor's engagement ring?

I liked America better when Cracker Barrel was just a crappy interstate restaurant

Wowza! Too bad he can’t change his ankles back to normal size. However, the bloated, soggy ankles offset the same condition above his neck. His amazing body just trying to find homeostasis.

Trunp ended every war in human history! Even before he was born! Previous wars would be rockin, and they'd be all, "We better stop fighting before Mr. Supertough gets born!" I wonder who believes the stupid shit he says at this point. Dictator moron needs the "Peace Prize" so badly!!!

Wow! Such a taco! How proud the Republicans must be to see their constitution ripped from their hands only to kiss the orange-puckered butthole

Our savior😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

He’s such a hero, that Trump. HOW does he DO it?

and slayed the dragon

He deserves this award...

And Don Junior only changed his diaper twice. 💩💩

How many previously released Epstein documents did he release?

Thought it was 28 …

Can’t save those blown out veins though.🤷🏻‍♀️

Tomorrow - a cure for cancer , ending world hunger & holding back the tides ..

Pedo says what?

And tonight Trump will go home to Jesus except he will be denied entrance and take an express elevator to the other place.

Twice

Did he ever win the war over STDs?

He can't save himself though. Or Stephen Miller for that matter.

Haha, sad , his cult believes these ridiculous type claims of his.

Epstein

Damn! And I thought he had “executive time” until lunch.

He looks like he’s transitioning. I thought they were anti-trans?

Must be so good to live in an alternate universe

Then he raised Titanic in the afternoon before a night time sprint up Mt Everest.

Okay, but where’s the fucking stroke, Ron?

unfortunately the number of American residents raped by him is somewhat much higher....

As Jack Kennedy once remarked: Give that man a good enema and you could bury the remains in a matchbox. #Trumpocalypse

He was so hungry he ordered 5 extra hamberders.

He obviously does not how to do the job as President, so he engages in all this bullshit, hate, and discontent against people. Being President is actually a really hard job, duh, but he is not up to the task.

*and nominated for the Goebbels Prize

🤦🏻 Yeah he ended first 6 wars then it was 7. Then 10, now 27 wars. All wars started in his head. 🤔🤪🤡😆🤣 Get him a straight jacket & admit him to an Asylum.

I shouldn’t laugh, some people believe that!

😂😂he’s such a piece of 💩

I don’t often eat at Cracker Barrel but the fact that trump jumped into the fray and CB capitulated to trump ticks me off. Like how many times has trump eaten at Cracker Barrel?? Hummm

I’ll still follow you into battle anytime, my captain…even with my knee braces. lol!

So they’re going to called Cankles Barrel?

He's a dynamo! How does he do it? The man is amazing.

I'm so grateful that he was able to save my NFL fantasy draft before I even started my draft....if it wasn't for him, I would lose this year again for the millionth time.

Obviously, the most deleterious part, by far, is that the United States is now a fascist country, but to add minor insult to massive injury, Trump is making it look buffoonish too.

What? No golf tournament championship today? Slacker.

Apparently all of them were while I was sleeping.

Cracker Barrel just lost the "WOKE" crowd.

He is the Cracker Barrel

Don't forget Christmas... he definitely saved Foking Kreeezmas. 🙄

Was he awake at the time?

#27wars ❓😲

Priorities.

Cracker Barrel, where you can get a nice rocking chair to sit in after their menu gives you heart disease.

Hopefully it inhaled all you can eat fukushima shrimp.

Then he woke up.

Wow! What a guy. Release the Epstein files, Pedo.

And didn't shit his diaper until after lunch. Time to party.

And, talked Taylor into marriage.

And he did it 1-handed.

Bravo!

How about that bizarre Trump worship service ?

He's working on the high priorities. Cracker Barrel, Sydney Sweeny's boobs, Gambling degenerates and steroid abuser's getting into the HOF, winning his 56th consecutive Club Championship, pardoning pedophiles, and receiving BJ's at Cabinet meetings. He's hot. Nobel prize around the corner.

All while shitting his adult diaper 🇺🇸🎉

Next up - objecting at Taylor’s wedding???

Trump can beat Chuck Norris

Nobody beats Chuck Norris.

Fake news

🤯and all with a demented brain...

🤣🤣🤣

I hear he is going to officiate at Taylor and Travis's wedding ...what guy

😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 True.

Sadly his supporters believe it.

Before or after Dialysis?

If the Nobel committee ignores this, it just shows how corrupt Norwegians are!

Release the FILES!!

And pigs fly out my butt everyday at 12am pacific time

GREATEST PERSON IN ALL OF HISTORY amiright

And PERSONALLY landed Starship 10 outside a McD.

Culture war bait fuck that shit Congrats you took the bait

The hardest working President ever the man is a legend in his own mind

All hail President Trump and his glorious victories!

Did you know that he invented the rotation of the earth? Without him, we wouldn't be turning...

Love it. Too bad millions of our fellow Americans don't seem to get how outrageous the lies have become. Describing MAGA as dense doesn't quite seem to be enough for this level of ignorance epitomized by their continued support of Trump and Project 2025.

And he only shit himself 3 times doing it. Cleaning up between costume changes.

He also won the FedEx Cup over the weekend

Then hit a hole in one and got someone else to pay for all the drinks

Tomorrow the Peace Prize!

That lunch was served on a patio-umbrella-studded concrete patio that used to be a rose garden.

What a Praise the Lord party in the 3.17 hr Cabinent meeting today! Ugh! Sickening!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Tired of winning!

Amazing Still hasn't got that rainbow out of lucky charms

And helped seven elementary schools with their homework. Just kidding. Pedophiles shouldn’t be around kids.

And we're all about to be under military control so we can't fight back when Republicans declare themselves perpetual rulers of America.

Yay! He is a rapist, is destroying our planet and is a psychopath. Yay!

Ah, so THAT explains that bonkers cabinet meeting earlier today.

But Washington's NFL team are still Commanders so he's a dismal failure

He really is a piece of shit.

Don’t forget he also brought down drug prices by - get this - 2,000%!!

He's the most stable genius in the world.

Tomorrow night he'll start wars in 50 states and by Thursday he'll pardon himself.

We’re still waiting for him to release the Epstein files. Cracker Barrel will probably change its logo again before that happens though.

my hero.

I got a br>she to China to sell to.

I don't even know when he had time to squeeze some blood in with that bruised hand if he's stopping wars all the time

EXECUTIVE TIME IN ACTION BAYBEE!

"Dude, you're getting a No-Bell."

Only 27? Are you sure? 😂

😂😂😂😂😂😂

😅🤣😂

But his ankles got all blowed up with jealousy when his woman Taylor got taken by another man. He knew if he just had more time he could pull her with his bruises and zigzag limp

Then it was off to golf on the taxpayers dime.

O thank god ! I was so worried NOT!

Lets see……. By my calculation here on the napkin, that could be 5 billion lives saved!

Ending each war adds another cm to his ankles.

😂😅😀🤣

Praise Cheesus

Sure, he did, Ron. All before his 1st Adderall dose!

Somewhere on the interwebs some magat is posting this as fact. The dumbest populace.

🤣🤣🤣

He’s so strong and definitely doesn’t have a tiny penis.

And he did all with grayscale on his hands.

Isn't that adorable. Does he still smell like poo?

I’m still wondering which 7 wars and lands he peacefully ended

Mt Rushmore worthy.

You didn’t mention the six golf tournaments he won this afternoon.

All while shooting 69 at his own golf course.🐭

Don't forget deflecting a PHA (Potentially Hazardous Asteroid) by the force of his will and disdain for Taylor Swift.

Then.... a nap.

Hope he takes a dirt nap.

Legend in his own lunchtime.

Praise Orangeus

You left out that he saved the whales from those killer windmills.

But he threw his lunch at the wall so it wasn't a great day if you were a ketchup covered steak.

What if Apartheid Clyde & Big Balls are the Batman & Robin we need? #America

Soon he will be saving every marriage in the US, if not the world.

#theMansAMachine. A machine, I tell you! 🤖

Dam he’s good!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.

Imagine living in his head 😵‍💫

and then JD touched the FIFA trophy and broke it-

The Great Cracker Barrel War

LOL

I rarely ate at Cracker Barrel. But then, since the MAGA mob turned against them even though nothing seemed particularly progressive or woke in their logo, I figured I had to eat there. Now, because they bent the knee to Trump, I can't eat there, but for different reasons. Politics is hard.