I did special music at other churches. I participated in concerts and musicals. You name it, we did it. And when we left, it was like we dropped off the face of the earth. Total silence. We were shunned for leaving. So much for "love your neighbor as yourself."
You're describing my life. Only difference is that I was 'born-again' when I lived in Albuquerque. I got homesick & returned to Vermont. I went from evangelical churches on every block to two within 50 miles of home. Unfortunately the one we chose severely messed me up. It still took 10yrs to leave
I was "saved" when I was 14, but had been attending church since I was 6 weeks old. I didn't leave until I was 56 (2016). I remember consciously choosing to make excuses for things that made me uneasy within the church beginning in the mid-90s. That's about 21 years of denial.