Post by Andy Richter / Redsky

who did you caw

mar 27, 2025, 7:22 pm • 6 0 • view

My albino starling poops on my head multiple times a day. Needless to say we have lots of caps around the house! #starling #birds

mar 28, 2025, 3:24 pm • 2 0 • view

It’s good luck!

mar 28, 2025, 4:13 pm • 3 0 • view

Crows remember their enemies, Andy.

mar 27, 2025, 7:23 pm • 32 0 • view

They also tell the entire murder about you. Fact. (Ask me how I know. I will pause my constant screaming long enough to tell you about it.)

mar 27, 2025, 7:47 pm • 1 0 • view

exactly, what did Andy Richter do to this crow? he seems like such a nice guy.

mar 27, 2025, 7:37 pm • 7 0 • view

It’s always the quiet, “nice” ones you truly have to look out for.

mar 27, 2025, 7:41 pm • 6 0 • view

He probably just hopes you'll use shampoo and move on.

mar 28, 2025, 5:42 pm • 0 0 • view

Was it in his caw-n tract ?

mar 27, 2025, 7:38 pm • 1 0 • view

I misread "cow" and was trying to figure out the logistics for a full ten seconds before I caught my mistake

mar 28, 2025, 12:10 am • 0 0 • view

in Albania, that’s good luck

mar 28, 2025, 2:06 am • 1 0 • view

A bird pooping on your head is a sign of good luck!!

mar 28, 2025, 3:42 am • 2 0 • view

Change management.

mar 27, 2025, 7:23 pm • 2 0 • view

Crows memorize face's.

mar 28, 2025, 12:43 am • 1 0 • view

Considered lucky where I’m at! But do wash it off!

mar 27, 2025, 7:23 pm • 1 0 • view

My mother said it is good luck.

mar 27, 2025, 9:08 pm • 2 0 • view

Good luck like that is ephemeral. Act quickly.

mar 27, 2025, 10:28 pm • 2 0 • view

I didn't have that option when a pigeon shit on my shoulder a couple years back. Man, to have a manager.

mar 27, 2025, 7:23 pm • 1 0 • view

If your manager doesn’t get back to you in a reasonable time, you need to fire him!!

mar 27, 2025, 7:39 pm • 1 0 • view

I thought that said a crowd pooped on your head. Both would be undesirable

mar 28, 2025, 3:09 am • 0 0 • view

It's supposed to be good luck.

mar 28, 2025, 3:02 am • 1 0 • view

@commentarybot.bsky.social

mar 27, 2025, 8:57 pm • 0 0 • view

seems bad

mar 27, 2025, 9:01 pm • 2 0 • view

Lucky it wasn’t a murder

mar 27, 2025, 7:26 pm • 1 0 • view

Did you get that crow's license plate number?

mar 27, 2025, 7:23 pm • 1 0 • view

I got shit on by a bird when I was seven they told me it was good luck. Bastards.

mar 27, 2025, 7:57 pm • 1 0 • view

Jesus! At first I read "cow"!

mar 27, 2025, 7:32 pm • 1 0 • view

Not a good omen

mar 28, 2025, 2:26 pm • 0 0 • view

Long lunch.

mar 27, 2025, 10:44 pm • 1 0 • view

You should try the crows manager

mar 28, 2025, 2:41 pm • 0 0 • view

Congratulations. It’s good luck btw 🍀

mar 27, 2025, 11:55 pm • 2 0 • view

That means you’re very lucky. Not many people have a crow poop on their head and not many people are lucky. Therefore you’re luck because you had a crow poop on your head. It’s only logical so go with it.

mar 28, 2025, 1:53 am • 0 0 • view

Consider yourself lucky. They’re quite clever. A crow once committed identity theft and emptied my checking account.

mar 28, 2025, 2:59 am • 0 0 • view

The crowening. Beware!

mar 27, 2025, 7:57 pm • 1 0 • view

God I remember one time I got so mad at an albatross shitting on my head that I straight up killed it. It didn't go well for me after that. Not at all.

mar 28, 2025, 5:52 am • 0 0 • view

Glad it wasn't Sheryl.

mar 28, 2025, 11:36 pm • 0 0 • view

crows are highly intelligent and as it turns out excellent judges of character

mar 27, 2025, 7:48 pm • 1 0 • view

Don’t let them get away with it! #poopback

mar 28, 2025, 3:22 am • 0 0 • view

I too have been shat on by bird. I got really mad🤣🤣🤣

mar 28, 2025, 12:39 pm • 0 0 • view

“1415: Strike Drones on Target (THIS IS WHEN THE FIRST BOMBS WILL DEFINITELY DROP, pending earlier ‘Trigger Based’ targets)” I guess you weren’t in the group chat.

mar 28, 2025, 12:46 am • 0 0 • view

I worked in downtown Jacksonville and while walking to lunch and passing a field trip of elementary school kids, a seagull dumped a massive load on my shoulder. The kids were very entertained.

mar 27, 2025, 7:29 pm • 4 0 • view

i think i like you but this joke needs improvement

mar 27, 2025, 11:21 pm • 1 0 • view

You got cloaca'd.

mar 27, 2025, 7:30 pm • 1 0 • view

I hear Chris Pratt already has a “Pooping Crow” movie in turn around at Paramount.

mar 28, 2025, 3:32 pm • 1 0 • view

I misread it as “cop” at first 🤣

mar 27, 2025, 7:22 pm • 2 0 • view

If you had hired me, I would have screened the crow before it could reach you- “Andy isn’t interested in anymore shit projects. Call me when you have something worthy of his talents.”

mar 27, 2025, 7:46 pm • 2 0 • view

when the universe aligns...

mar 27, 2025, 8:51 pm • 2 0 • view

You need to call the crows manager

mar 27, 2025, 7:23 pm • 3 0 • view

Just keep in mind if it tells you to suck it's balls that the rapture is close

mar 28, 2025, 12:19 am • 0 0 • view

I hope you get a caw.

mar 28, 2025, 2:52 pm • 0 0 • view

oh man I read cow!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

mar 27, 2025, 7:38 pm • 1 0 • view

I had that happen to me!

mar 27, 2025, 7:40 pm • 2 0 • view

You had a cow shit on your head?

mar 27, 2025, 9:00 pm • 1 0 • view

Hasn’t everyone?😳

mar 27, 2025, 9:01 pm • 1 0 • view

The landlord is suffering from the same bird crap...trending.

mar 27, 2025, 7:42 pm • 1 0 • view

That’s caw-ful

mar 27, 2025, 9:43 pm • 1 0 • view

I'd try a hat.

mar 27, 2025, 7:50 pm • 1 0 • view

This is quite literally what life is like as a manager. Exhausting stuff

mar 28, 2025, 2:33 am • 0 0 • view

Bro, I just let a crow drop its whole life on my dome. Like, I left a message for my manager, but guess what? Nothing. The crows are ruling the skies, but my manager? Crickets. We’re all living in a world where birds poop on you and your boss ain’t gonna lift a finger. JUST GIVE ME A CALL, KEVIN.

mar 27, 2025, 7:30 pm • 1 0 • view

Just put it in your 5 points bulletin email to Muskrat and the boys.

mar 27, 2025, 7:50 pm • 1 0 • view

🤣😂😆

mar 28, 2025, 1:27 pm • 0 0 • view

He meant that

mar 27, 2025, 9:45 pm • 0 0 • view

The manager is in on it. I bet he knows the bird.

mar 27, 2025, 7:25 pm • 7 0 • view

If a crow pooped on you, you’re a marked man and there’s no appeal process. Befriend a crow and you’ll get gifts for life. Piss one off and suddenly you’re jeered and pooped on daily

mar 28, 2025, 12:57 am • 1 0 • view

I really thought this was intended as a metaphor for where our country is right now in defending democracy. The manager is the judiciary or the Democratic Party leadership, possibly Congress in general. The crow is MAGA on the daily.

mar 28, 2025, 10:20 am • 0 0 • view

One of the more humbling experiences a man can go through.

mar 28, 2025, 12:37 am • 0 0 • view

I had a bird shit on my head a few years back when I was walking back home from an interview. I felt like some guy slapped me on the frickin' head. I checked my hair, it was like there was nothing there, like it bounced right off. I was disoriented. I didn't get the job either. Wah wahh

mar 28, 2025, 12:38 am • 0 0 • view

Nevermore will you hear from him

mar 27, 2025, 7:39 pm • 1 0 • view

That probably means that he sent the crow.

mar 27, 2025, 7:44 pm • 1 0 • view

Reminds me of one of my favorite jokes from childhood. It involves a series of people dying after getting pooped on by the mythical Foo Bird and dying after cleaning it off. The punch line is, of course, "If the Foo shits, wear it." Classic, right? 🤣

mar 28, 2025, 2:40 pm • 0 0 • view

You should have washed your hair instead.

mar 27, 2025, 9:41 pm • 1 0 • view

that crow did it on purpose...what did you do?

mar 27, 2025, 8:24 pm • 1 0 • view

Good luck!

mar 27, 2025, 10:45 pm • 2 0 • view

For some reason I thought that first sentence would make a great opening line of a Pearl Jam song

mar 27, 2025, 7:46 pm • 1 0 • view

According to Bird Law, that “crow” is now your manager/agent. He takes 25% of all deals.

mar 27, 2025, 8:55 pm • 0 0 • view

I read that quickly and thought you said 'cow'. Consider yourself lucky.

mar 27, 2025, 7:33 pm • 6 0 • view

mar 27, 2025, 7:43 pm • 3 0 • view

That seems like a district manager issue.

mar 27, 2025, 7:28 pm • 2 0 • view

I swear I read this (twice) as "a cow pooped on my head" and wondered what in the hell you were doing

mar 27, 2025, 7:51 pm • 1 0 • view

but he hasn't cawed back

mar 28, 2025, 5:23 am • 1 0 • view

Lucky it wasn't this crow.

mar 28, 2025, 12:05 pm • 1 0 • view

One crow or were you murdered?

mar 28, 2025, 2:18 pm • 0 0 • view

Deport the crow.

mar 28, 2025, 1:36 am • 0 0 • view

I once narrowly avoided catastrophe when a duck with apparent diarrhea, on an extremely low flight path intersecting with my coordinates, managed to drop it's gelatinous cargo mere moments before reaching my position. I still shudder to think of the alternative outcome.

mar 27, 2025, 8:34 pm • 1 0 • view

My wife and I had an eagle shit on ours once.. whinner.

mar 27, 2025, 9:21 pm • 3 0 • view

Lucky you, I hope you made the most of that excellent luck!!!

mar 27, 2025, 10:33 pm • 3 0 • view

That’s a big one. Congratulations

mar 27, 2025, 11:56 pm • 1 0 • view

😆 🤣 fucking gross...giant shit hawks

mar 28, 2025, 12:22 am • 1 0 • view

That's cool This morning, I ate crow.

mar 27, 2025, 10:57 pm • 1 0 • view

Justice for Andy

mar 28, 2025, 5:55 am • 0 0 • view

I read this as "cow" and was really confused

mar 27, 2025, 7:37 pm • 4 0 • view

Sounds like it's time for a new manager to me.

mar 27, 2025, 7:24 pm • 1 0 • view

You need a caw back

mar 27, 2025, 11:36 pm • 2 0 • view

That happened to me in Long Beach and my friend told me it would bring me good luck. I met my husband the next week. Something fabulous is going to happen for you.

mar 27, 2025, 7:30 pm • 2 0 • view

Yeah about that 😁😂

mar 28, 2025, 1:27 pm • 0 0 • view

Be persistent

mar 27, 2025, 9:45 pm • 1 0 • view

For God's sake, DON'T WIPE IT OFF!

mar 27, 2025, 8:45 pm • 1 0 • view

"Cawed you back," amirite?

mar 28, 2025, 3:08 am • 0 0 • view

MAGA crow? MAGA manager?

mar 27, 2025, 7:53 pm • 1 0 • view

Check LinkedIn, he’s probably interviewing for other jobs (justifiably).

mar 28, 2025, 1:00 am • 0 0 • view

You’ve been marked

mar 27, 2025, 9:33 pm • 1 0 • view

Now your manager's going to want 10% of your good luck.

mar 27, 2025, 7:36 pm • 7 0 • view

What did you want? A rinse and a blow out or were you looking for a set and a style, too?

mar 27, 2025, 8:18 pm • 1 0 • view

Ok, sidekick Karen.

mar 27, 2025, 7:31 pm • 1 0 • view

You'll have to send him his 10% of it first.

mar 27, 2025, 8:21 pm • 1 0 • view

Don't worry, that's just a sign of good luck. It means you should buy a lottery ticket or stop by a casino.

mar 27, 2025, 7:24 pm • 3 0 • view

Don’t you mean: Cawed back.

mar 28, 2025, 12:28 pm • 3 0 • view

Haha

mar 28, 2025, 5:14 pm • 0 0 • view

The Democrat method

mar 27, 2025, 7:31 pm • 1 0 • view

Lol... management can be very slow to respond

mar 27, 2025, 8:37 pm • 2 0 • view

Some time in the past, Andy pissed off a crow...

mar 27, 2025, 9:51 pm • 8 0 • view

These things happen

mar 27, 2025, 9:46 pm • 0 0 • view

Andy, I saw a documentary film about this with Suzanne Pleshette and Tippi Hedren, and it didn’t end well

mar 27, 2025, 7:44 pm • 5 0 • view

Sitting under a (bare) tree in early spring can lead to this. They are nesting. Once the nesting is done, they will leave. Their aim is excellent! They get me on my deck a few times a year.

mar 27, 2025, 7:38 pm • 2 0 • view

… and there you have it. Never trespass on a crow’s property. Those guys **will** go Libertarian “get off my property” on a dime. And by “trespass”, they mean exist within a 100 feet. Sorry, Andy. At least it’s not personal? 🤷‍♀️

mar 27, 2025, 7:44 pm • 1 0 • view

A pigeon shat on my head once while I was walking towards the Temple of the Emerald Buddha (Wat Phrakaew) in Bangkok. A group of people literally cheered and told me how incredibly auspicious it was, especially because we were at a holy site. I'm so glad they enjoyed it.

mar 27, 2025, 11:39 pm • 2 0 • view

‘Holy shite’, shurely?

mar 28, 2025, 7:25 am • 1 0 • view

What did you do to the crow? They remember their enemies, Andy. If it wasn't that crow, it was that crows parents. You wronged that crow somehow, Andy. Amends must be paid.

mar 27, 2025, 7:52 pm • 3 0 • view