At the Jeff Bezos wedding there was a guy who followed him around with a bucket all day and periodically smeared some kind of goo on him. I asked about it and Tom Brady said it keeps him moist but also he absorbs nutrients through his skin. He also has a "goo guy"
I thought you were going for The Piss Boy from History of the World Part 1.
I thought it was an oral delivery...but yeah obviously his goo guy is Butters
It was probably sunscreen - lol
Does he buy it at goop.com?
Weirdo
No wonder he always looks so shiny, or should that be slimy?
🤣
I heard Bezos had lightning deals for the catering. If you didn't finish in 15 minutes, some random person took your food.
Did you see his "fluffer" there, too? The super-rich are so obscene, they're producing pornography at UNESCO World Heritage sites!
What in the lizard people in meat suits is going on here.
I was a goo guy for "Papa" John Schnatter for about 3 weeks. He had to let me go when he got fired. 3 of us lost our jobs. Chuck was with him for 24 years. Fired him just like that. It was all under the table (the pay, not the goo) so we couldn't even file unemployment. Good gig while it lasted.
You mean a goo-d gig! Sorry, couldn’t resist the dad joke.
Who was the goo guy when he made that one video?
I mean, we’re kinda done with rich people now, right? Like as a society?
No way
once u hit a certain bank acct threshold u actually do away with digestion in favor of the topological absorption of nutrients via an incredibly expensive procedure/ritual to maximize efficiency
Spare a thought for the guys who have to make the goo. There's the chemicals, herbal extracts, the suspension, the eldritch chanting, and tons of cum
The lot of them are weird fucking sociopaths.
I MISSED IT???!
Goo or no goo, at the end of the day, he's just another big asshole.
OVERHEARD: "...my goo guy. He's a good guy. Good with goo. Not everyone is... Yoohoo!" (Does 'come here' finger curls at DJ)
😱😵🙄😬
Reptilian scales tend to dry out in the sun and must be kept lubricated
We’ve all been “some goo guy” to somebody in our youth.
It's also important that this person whispers "remember, you are not a god, you are goo" in his ear periodically.
Wait someone actually married him? The Flatwood Monster has a better chance of marriage than pencil-dick.
The goo? Recycled from the collapsed bodies of Amazon workers. Just another example of how Bezos is committed to a green future
Let's goo
Obnoxious
Obligatory
I came here to do this but you beat me to it.
Me too.
In other news, a man who accidentally called Bezos a “good guy” has printed a formal apology, says he meant to say “good guy” and it was a mere slip of the tongue
This might be a joke, but I'm choosing to believe it's true. It's believable because these people are just so fucking strange.
Yes! I want to believe!
it’s true
I call him Skeeter. He doesnt like it.
It isn’t hard to ….. stay moist …… in late June in Venice 🥵
soon we won't need to breathe or eat. only goo
It puts the lotion on
Good grief 😞
a goo guy, you say
whose Mans is this?
it's like watching desantis try to stand normally
“Why am I drippings with (Mans) Goos”
..but they do not care of, “Man’s Goos”
Goo guy sound fun, but “slugger” was right there.
You know you're rich when you have your own Goo Guy.
With his own bucket of goo...
