i used to feel like that. when i was stuck with family. i still wonder about what will happen when i die. except i feel like i’ve seen my future, because my disabled uncle died in ways i probably will. alone and unnoticed for 8 days. the lack of support you’re getting now is fucking awful.

i’m sorry that the people around you are so selfish and defensive, and cannot be supportive let alone supportive in the ways you need. people should be taking your burdens off your shoulders now. not adding to them.

Being disabled, we die multiple times.

And I'm sorry about your uncle.

We do. and it sucks every time. 💛 thank you, about my uncle.

I have these thoughts 🎯

It's so disheartening. Esp the people who should have been trying to understand you. EVERYONE in my life is still making my attempt about them. I feel like I'm in purgatory. Like I said, "remember when I was losing my mind due to isolation and I called you to come over and you said you had church?"

And the response was, "so now I've never done anything for you?" Like do they even hear anything I say? How can my every word just be an excuse to talk more about yourself? I can't imagine how much more people must dismiss you. Like just from stuff you've said. It's so strange.

Omg everything you're relaying is so fucking relatable- people have said that EXACT shit to me. "Well I did reach out, & you were busy." "What! Here's a list of all the things I've done for you [list of things I did not ask for & did not help], isn't that enough??" Like omg. The fucking STRESS

I feel like what I would say is, "I'm sorry you got to a place you felt you had no options. How could I help you in the future and what could we do together if you got to that place again?" Close "friends" have fucking blocked me.

Like hell, even just sitting quietly with someone is easy- just be there! Don't guilt trip! It's not hard! Same. **poof** You think people will be there but it was all one sided. It's crushing. It breaks you.

Fucking hell beb I'm so sorry -hugs- -weeps-

Same >>hugs<< it's so unfair and cruel