There is no wondering. She is a narcissist. She shows love only when they do as she wants. They are an extension of her. She withholds all attention when they stray from the script. They manage her emotions for her. But not her them. And they will be narcissists too. Some times not all but.....

Spot on..

Sadly

They have children for two reasons. 1: they view them as someone that will always love them and never leave and 2: to trap the father making it harder for them to try to leave. And if they do, the children are pawns in revenge.