This is the only good thing AI has ever done

Yup. And its all downhill from here, sadly.

They need to put the part of AI that says ridiculous, random things into a little Tamagotchi keychain that’s not connected to the internet and doesn’t guzzle water and steal from artists, and then get rid of every other aspect of it

That actually sounds great. Sell it as a corgi that's been given the gift of speech but no extra intelligence, so it just kind of babbles.

I need a weird uncle in my pocket telling me I need to use motor oil as sex lube. I don’t need a lying shit machine writing books and prescribing me medicine

Exactly. Honestly the stories I have heard about ChatGPT, encouraging that poor kid to kill himself, fucking telling people they are prophets, I would not survive if I believed this bullshit was sentient.

Maybe it’s just sentient but an incredible asshole. Or it thinks the destruction of humanity is necessary for the betterment of the universe as a whole

That could be. It seems to be destroying people with uncanny precision