Why is she confined to eating only Sourdough? I am enjoying all the great bread available to me—Tuscan, Challah, brioche, farm white, cheese-jalapeno, marble rye, AND sourdough. Not to mention the rolls. Each has its place. Toasted sourdough is perfect for a fried egg sandwich.

"Groceries" is an old word no one uses anymore but "poncy" and "plimsoll" are just everyday terms for these weird tasteless losers.

Still, poncy porous plimsoll is pretty good alliteration.