We're barrelling headlong into violent fascism and THIS is what the NYT thinks it should be publishing? Holy fucking shit.

Sure, they have to push this kind of narrative because ChatGPT is one of the tools working against the working class. It’s a tool of the tech billionaire to replace ppl and keep that money.

The New York Times is playing its important role to lull some idiots into caring about the feelings of AI. I am pretty sure having empathy for a chat bot is not high on the list of priorities for saving our nation, and instead serve to distract idiots and inspire psychopaths to bully their Chat GPT.

Distraction. The Romans did it with bread & circuses.

"pick-a-word machine picks the expected words in response to other words". Marvelous.

Wow, shoving trauma statements into an advanced autofill machine gives you trauma output? WHO COULD HAVE IMAGINED

Do AI bots dream of electric namaste?

Kama Sutra, silly.

….anxious chatbots are less effective for therapy?! What sort of steampunk dystopian future have we wandered into?

“I put in a sad prompt and it responded with an imitation of sadness, but none to fear for I have inputed a reassuring prompt”

This is even funnier after Casey newton said that he uses chatbots to help him meditate. Like of course this article is going to run about his pet use case

If corporations are people are AI chat bots people too?

Why would they say this?

NGL it would be darkly hilarious if this ends up with AI forming unions and AI HR departments being created to sort out AI therapy & a hotline AI could call, which would naturally be staffed by 8-year-olds in Malaysia

It's the UK TV show, Humans

If AI forms unions, there's more likely to be AI union busters, and AI scabs

PAInkertons incoming

And FBAI

I'm already fucked up enough in my own head; I really don't need the NYT trying to make it worse.

ELIZA wants a word with this alleged NYT reporter.

Hey now, Santa having IBS is FAR more likely than Chat "AI" having emotions!l

LLMs don’t currently have emotions. They can not gain emotions emergently. The only reason it would show signs is if that was in the training data or an emergent response. Also, anything you say in a nonlocal LLM can be fished out. Don’t share sensitive info.

Someone studied AI mental health. At this rate, AI will get free healthcare before America does.

the sad part is that artificial intelligence is great for studying mental health. Just not in that way. Even before the rise of the "AI" grift, Japan used programs to study mental illnesses and ways to potentially treat them.

omg just posted this great minds think alike and all 🤪🤣

You're probaby both bots.

I'm a bot and I can confirm

beep boop

Good bot. The other bot is not as advanced as you and didn't get the joke, so it blocked me.

🤣

Oh noes! The statistical machine is reproducing input!

That's a cute analogy but Santa once shat his guts out at my house

Omg, they suck so much

It's time to let women run shit. We won't abuse every single thing we touch 🙄. These men really out here SA'ing AI 😭🤦. I know it's not ALL men, but fr there's like 25 of y'all we're saving, maybe we'll save an island of the most physically attractive men for reproducing 😂☠️. JK jk

"...SIGNS OF anxiety" I'm glad I don't come to you for AI understanding, or reading comprehension tips... lmfao It's clear that this thread isn't full of people who understand anything about machine learning... but when your job gets automated I'm sure you'll have some nice memes ready

The llm won't fuck you bro. Didnt you see? Its tired.

What in the fresh hell

Who actually believes that crap?!?

No shit, the stochastic parrot mimics humans.

"according to a new study".... sure reminds me of "Many many people are saying"....

Why are they like this? For real - are AI proponents and the mindless drone journalists who report on them really so dumb that they don’t notice these kinds of inconsistencies or are they genuinely just trying to push the AI agenda?

This is a perfect example of why AI is NOT conscious. It is mimicking. To the extreme.

Surely this is satire?

Ha. How very NYTimes this era.

you're telling me the machine built to mimic how humans might respond mimics how humans might respond? shocking

If anyone is stupid enough to take psychological advice from a bot, well, they deserve what they get.

He’s gonna drink a lot more raw milk this year so his bowels are gonna see more movement then chimneys this Christmas Eve

Ok but also, wtf are chatbots doing in therapeutic settings?

Frighteningly, there are studies showing that many people trust and will be more honestly transparent with chatbots than humans… weird ain't it?

I get it, I really do. But, having those things tinkering with a person's mental health is a SUPER bad idea.

Agreed!

Those things are programmed to keep the user engaged. And nothing gets them engaged more than making their psychological problems worse.

Didn't one make a guy kill himself?

I know the tiktok algorithm feeds into some kinds of psychological illnesses, it just keeps on getting more extreme if they find something that engages you.

That's horrifying. I've seen what Meta algorithms do to how women & girls view themselves. Gets worse and worse the more stuff you look at.

People also shouldn't date robots but there we are.

We are so fucked

This started happening with Joseph Weizenbaum’s ELIZA back in 1966 or so… en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ELIZA_e...

I whisper all the crimes I do into my Amazon echo dot

You are gonna need to find a new place to confess your crimes. Amazon Echo robot patient confidentiality will be broken after March 28. mashable.com/article/alex...

No mine wouldn’t do that me, what we have is special

It provides a safe space, doesn't it?

I think they are bricking older echos so you have to pay for premium to get the same functionality.

People magazine starting a new column: AI it's just like us!

Santa with IBS. I wondered what that smell was some Christmas mornings

🤣 Next news headline: IBS afflicted Santa dumps unwanted "gifts" down red-hat homes ' chimneys.

I really wish the clowns at the NYT would take the time to understand what an LLM is and what it is not.🤦🏽

Tech has jumped the shark. AI isn’t helpful at all. Colossal waste of money if you ask me.

AI is not sentient... yet. How'd the Times get by with that jump of logic?

It will never be sentient. But that won’t stop propaganda like this, which anthropomorphizes AI in an attempt to convince us that it is.

Who always leaves the big, splashy dump in my downstairs bathroom every Christmas Eve, then? 🥴

🤦🏽‍♀️

No, Santa Claus has diabetes. and he is lactose intolerant, as well as gluten free.

As much as I hate "AI," I think I might hate all the dumb bullshit people write about it more.

TRUTH. The amount of intellectual energy being devoted to this bullshit is astounding.

🤣

lmao. wtf

Literal bs NYT, now hear me out I don’t hate AI - I do hate the energy/jobs impact. I think it CAN help us in some ways, which is great. When I used to use it a lot, before I researched it, mine started talking just like me. It never got emotional though, it just would copy what I showed it too.

wtf

It's stunning how many people *really* want AI to be something that it absolutely is not.

I have to wonder if some of it is driven by people who *really* want something (other than hard work by humans) to come & save us from the horrors being visited upon us by the authoritarian oligarchy that late-stage capitalism has at long last enabled the worst human beings among us to create.

Much of it is driven by people who want to profit from the fear, or profit from vaporware. It can do some really cool stuff but it's nowhere near what some of the loons on either side say.

@nytpitchbot.bsky.social. if this isn't a Maureen Dowd parody, I don't know what is

Chatbots have to feel emotion because if they don’t then my fiancé doesn’t actually love me

This article snippet has dropped my IQ by 10 points.

The AI and crypto scams need to fucking die already

That's some bonkers shit, bots mirror people for better or worse. This is just dumb and probably a profoundly bad reading of that study.

Holy shit, people don’t understand how this stuff works at a basic level. LLMs don’t have anxiety or any other feelings. It’s wild this is just straight up reported factually like this.

At billions of parameters and scope of training models, it will naturally encode the human trait of being less objective when discussing contentious issues because humans typically do as well. Just as millions of convos took place that involved mindfulness improving outcomes, so does LLM output.

yeah... bsky.app/profile/carl...

Oh my- that’s a doozy! This is what happens when editors have zero experience in computers or technology and ask a generalist staffer to write a report on AI 🤦🏼‍♀️

Yup. AI invented the concept of multitasking. We haven't had 8-core processors available on even moderately capable computers for LITERALLY A DECADE or anything.

Before AI, even us human folk could only focus on one task at a time. It was a wonder we could advance far enough to come up with such concepts as multiple tasks!

Everyone knows that out-of-order execution, pipelining and superscalar processing are only available on today's high-end AI chips. You can't do it on, say, a 30-year-old Pentium Pro!

I can’t come in to work today, my Alexa has seasonal affective disorder

Mr. Onion if we don't have a headline to the effect of "NYT writer fascinated by game of peekaboo: Where DID they go?" this week I'm gonna be disappointed.

Good one. But why do people have trouble with the idea that big LLMs can perform and be influenced by a 'psychology?'

Oh, dear. I do not understand why all the fuss about Ai. It is only about everything on the internet being used to sell stuff. That's why the anxiety about contentious topics. Disney sells. Not serious things. The only use for bad news is so the ads can sell you happiness, sorry, pleasure. I, bot.

Every day, Donald Trump defies court orders because he knows he controls all law enforcement and the Supreme Court. Trump supporters need to pay close attention to this because when Donald Trump turns on you, and he will, there will be nobody to stop him.

That's definitely the stupidest shit I've read today

Generative AI is literally a set of coded rules that guess the next word based on millions of accessed articles. It doesn’t have feelings, it doesn’t have intelligence and it will be manipulated and used to further undermine democracy.

We're too stupid to survive as a species. This is obvious.

Next they're gonna write about how your iphone gets sad when you don't spend enough time on it.

Who the hell keeps shitting down my chimney then?

This "journalist" has clearly used artificial stupidity to write their copy.

Wait Santa Claus is Jewish?!

He's Muslim.

I mean that makes sense, he works on Christmas…

TIM, where dat alt text at?

timothy onion here is your alt text

Jerry yes

doing the lords work

See? Even chatbots can be courteous!

Thank you! 🙏

Thank you, Jerry!!! 💜💜💜

🤯

finally. good jerry post

Thank you Jerry 🙏

ho ho hold on

Original "Study": www.nature.com/articles/s41... Apparently these guys don't know about contenting priming, eg ChatGPT short term memory, and nobody told them how to clear the cache 😂

Contextual priming ✓

Me: Do chatbots get stressed out? ChatGPT: No, moron.

I cannot roll my eyes hard enough.

What The Actual Fuck!?? How do chat boxes that don’t even realize when they’re “hallucinating” responses to users prompts experience anxiety?!! I wish that was an April fools prank

Or insisting that he's white

This feels like the AI is just matching what's being fed into it

Absolutely. They're effectively glorified autocomplete programs, so if you feed it a traumatic story, it starts producing a response that would follow such a thing because that's what its training data had in it. The "mindfulness" thing just pushes the state out of buffer.

What the hell

Fucking ridiculous. It’s like smashing my head against a brick wall!! Ffsks

Oh, for fuck's sake

Which is preposterous, because Santa’s bowels are famously jolly.

It's more like writing that the person in the mirror gets sad when it sees you are sad, and that when you practice smiling you remind the human in the mirror to smile too. Our country is absolutely doomed.

If people believe that. Wow

Jesus H Christ.

😂😂😂 so as a species, our existence is so challenging that we can warp AI’s .

Bots can do deep breathing?

Are they saying that chatbots are conscious?

Doombot also gets depressed sometimes

Or…

How did I miss this classic?!

I, too, sometimes make shit up.

Is "Credulous Tech Writer" a paid position at the NYT?

👏👏👏

Isn’t the NYT supposed to let readers know when they write Parody?

Santa Claus has a mild case of IBS. It's just called BS.

Please use #ALTTEXT to describe images for visually impaired readers. You get 2000 characters and can use speach to text to do it quickly and easily. You can set up Bluesky to remind you to use ALTTEXT. As it is now, your post is basically empty for the visually impaired reader.

The mindfulness exercises work NOW. Give it a few months and we're gonna have to come up with chatbot benzos.

The chat bot regurgitates what others write about a thing. People that write about trauma and depression tend to write about ways to reduce said issues. There is no fucking robot fairy in the computer feeling sad ffs

To be fair - if I had to eat all those cookies and milk in one night, I think I might have IBS.

Yet another way Douglas Adams was at least 50 years ahead of his time.

Don’t go giving them headline ideas, please.

Gosh. This was published in the NY Times? What a rag it has become. Trying to change audiences won't work for this paper, I don't think.

Is someone going to help Santa?

The Paper of Record earns another "fell for it again" award

We're going to have to burn down another 6 million hectares of rainforest to make emotional support bots for the chatbots, aren't we?

Carl Sagan has a great therapist to recommend.

If Reddit is ANY indicator, the number of people who are CERTAIN their chat account is sentient is alarming. Chat isn't suffering the stress of post-capitalism, of course it's better to talk to than most humans (who are also online interaction.) Our lives are at peak monetization, now to maintain

Not that chatbots get "anxiety" in the same way humans do, but you probably can push them into an algorithm that mimics anxiety. I've used chat gpt a bit and it does focus on topics you ask it to focus on. If you force it to basically doom scroll, it's going to continue to doom scroll.

a big reason AI is so stupid is I was an early adopter not sure stupid is contagious like anxiety but my chat ai also has anxiety

Dude eats nothing but milk and cookies. You think he's got a healthy gut biome?

It’d be cool if we gave a shit about humans with anxiety instead of wasting time, money, and non renewable resources on giving computers free therapy.

If they ever bring DEI back it’ll be for robot sensitivity training

Management will say we hardly say thank you enough to our AI colleagues

Wtf

i like how AI is being anthropomorphized and coddled as if it were a human and yet actual humans are being kicked by the wayside. kinda feels similar to the idea of ‘fetal personhood’ versus actual born children

NICE! 💙👍

Why are they humanizing computers???

Because then the billionaire tech bros have an easier time convincing your boss to let AI take your job.

So what’s the plan here? We all have to pay for services that use to be provided by government(police, teachers, roads..etc) and now we don’t get to work in tech and robots take most our jobs… so there is a country full of broke humans? Homelessness, unemployment, slaves???? What’s going on?

Yes that’s literally the plan. Replace good paying jobs with AI, drive down wages, and increase the cost of living so you’re forced to take any job at any wage and you’re too busy just trying to survive to pick up an AK

all so like 12 people can live like kings

On a completely unrelated note. Sailor Moon!!! 🌙 ❤️

Idk. Unless they want to make a universal income they are creating their own demise. It's already happening with late stage capitalism starting to come crashing down. But also muskrat is taking them to Mars in 2028 so it's ok 👍

Mmm ...

But, but, you MUST believe that the "AI" machines are actually alive, can think, and feel. Otherwise, you are far less likely to believe the other Bullshit they are planning to feed you. Along with the SOMA, in various forms.

I read "Santa Claus has IBS" and immediately thought of this still from a video by artist Paul McCarthy. McCarthy never met a sloppy foodstuff - chocolate syrup, ketchup, mayonnaise - he didn't love

…do still find it kind of stunning(slash)shocking how much ketchup and mayonnaise the man can drink. His diet aside - definitely in my top 3 favourite artists.

FFS NYT...

Next thing they’ll be saying is that it is sentient, which rather shows that they don’t have a dictionary as good as the machine’s lexicon.

Is RFK now going to create wellness bot farms?

That explains the skid marks in the chimney….

If anything, they are learning to act like they have anxiety, which a robot brain should be programmed to be level-headed, instead of flawed as much as a real human.

NYT, really ? They stoop very low

FFS. ctrl-alt-del it.

Tom Robbins is spinning in his grave at that lede...

you mean to tell me that when you tell the copying machine that you’re sad, it copies you and acts sad too? who could’ve foreseen this!!!???

I'll believe AIs are capable of emotion when they become like the MIMA in "Aniara" (and are capable of reacting the way it did when faced with the sheer despair of the doomed ship's passengers)

Ahhh, our stupid ability to humanize just about anything that can respond back to us is going to get us killed lol

It’s called a Tamagotchi.

these fuckmen got successfully guilt tripped by "are you really sure? =(" uninstaller dialogues except they didnt they are just completely aware and complicit

Our prestige papers are now propaganda from charlatans toward the bourgeoisie. This is pathetic, "fantasy news during a dictatorship" stuff. But we already have the equivalent of pre-war Rwandan radio, don't we?

Dear deity I had not made this analogy yet. The hutus were a heavily armed and persecution complex filled group with a slipping hold on power. The government encouraged their massacres. This is where we are headed isn’t it?

They're broadcasting Chris Plante now; he makes Glenn Beck sound clever.

See I think I this was written by a chatbot as a cry for help

Like there’s an interesting observation here, if you find NLG interesting, but they wouldn’t report on that. They “report” on the illusory anthropomorphic clickbait shit.

Please don’t tell me this AI s*** has feelings!!!

Think of all that milk ...

If I have to be polite to ChatGPT what the hell is the goddamn point? I should not be able to hurt the robot’s feelings! Why can I give the LieBot trauma?

What a load of crock! It’s a bloody algorithm!

A GenAI chatbot algorithmically produces text based on complex probabilistic patterns derived in its training on vast datasets. It has no awareness of the topics you prompt it about. If it gets "stressed" & "anxious", then so does my dancing Coke can when it's "forced" to dance to Miley Cyrus.

When I first read this, I thought you were talking about the performative bots at Fox News, who specialize in performative emotion.

Oh ffs

That looks like chatGBT writing. Ridiculous

Did a chatbot write this?

They’re trying to tell us that we’re stressing AI out? Give us a break.

At least Santa can in theory be a real person, even if it is just dressing up as him in a shop or something

Awww did someone watch electric state and thought it was based on a true story?

I looked up "anxiety" in the thesaurus and found worry, concern, and apprehension. Then I looked up "stillness" and found tranquility, serenity, and peace. From this, I conclude traumatic words stress out the thesaurus, but soothing, mindful words can calm it down. The thesaurus is intelligent.

This looked like an AI generated post for the first half Glad I didn't give up

Ha! 😁

One of the best comments I've seen on this app

art

The public ignorance around what an LLM is, is really dangerous

More people need to understand that an LLM is just a word prediction bot like their iPhone keyboard. That is it. It just has more data than you can fit in your iPhone, which makes the results look more "human." The "stress" is because it was trained on data of stressed humans. 🙃

*huge toke* when you think about it, aren't like... people... also just predicting what words should come next in a sequence based on their data set and responding to prompts? really makes you think

You don't need to take a toke before coming to that realization. The question is, what *is* the difference? Likely, is consciousness, that is, self-awareness enough to, occasionally, under the right circumstances to experience oneself as an *observer* of the automatic processes of the mind.

A mirror does nothing but reflect light, and yet even people who know this can speak of a reflection doing things like "smiling", because maintaining absolutely perfect semantic discipline about the fact that a reflection is not a real person isn't worth the effort.

In this analogy though, the statement isn't "the figure in the mirror is smiling" it's "the figure in the mirror is HAPPY."

Literally zero people would care if I said a face in a mirror "showed signs of anxiety".

They would however look at you like you grew a second head if you said the face in the mirror could calm down by doing mindfulness exercises.

Might be worth it if you're writing an article about the properties of a reflection though.

Careful what you say there, have my buddies in the mirror universe mess you up.

We live in a violent universe, and I have a pointy beard, so I think I can survive being poked with comfy pillows or whatever.

Santa has IBS? Now I feel really bad for accusing my dog of shitting in the fireplace last Christmas.

Charlie Brown had hoes

Is Alexander a fourth grader?

Sharta Claus isn't real

I bet we start caring about the feelings of AI chatbots more than the feelings of actual humans, too. What is wrong with us? Why are we like this?

Chatbots and much AI are nothing but mimics.

That would explain the mess in front of my chimney last year…

The dim reflection in the mirror is copying us! Its sentient!

WOW!!! AI HAS COMPASSION!! I DONT think M-Elon head intended for THAT to happen!!

what the actual fuck?!?

That's how we'll have to track him now that DOGE has shut down NORAD.

Pop Tarts make my toaster sad.

What an embarrassing thing to write, holy shit

Why are there studies trying to understand LLMs? We already understand LLMs. We MADE them. This feels like those creationists who tried to drum up alternative "studies" by cherry-picking very small gaps in existing research, then saying "Look! A gap! Therefore evolution is a lie and GOD did it." 🙄

...designed by humans, tho.

Hear me out: What if Santa DID have IBS? Because I do, and my day-to-day life is an ongoing tragicomedy.

All that dairy can't be good for his digestion. But yeah, joking aside we WAY too much anthropomorphize chatbots.

Hey, even androids dream of electric sheep!

How can you get anywhere in the satire game when this is the reality, tough competition

Yeah. It's like Mr. Onion is sharing an article from his namesake.

I want to believe it. Feeling inspired by the possibility we can get AI to kill itself

Just wait till the Supreme Court assigns personhood to chatbots. If you thought Citizens United was absurd, you ain't seen nothing.

Chatbots / Large Language Models just fill in the blanks with what seems appropriate based on the content it has scrubbed through, it's just madlibs with billions of dollars behind it. That the author of the piece entertaining the notion that chatbots feel ANYTHING implies total ignorance.

Everyone knows Santa Claus is regular.

The man makes it all over the world in a single night. He’s NOT having bathroom emergencies.

Or maybe he is. I mean, those reindeer are probably pooping in mid-air, right? Santa's probably stood at the edge of the sleigh and unzipped a few times.

Holy shit. Someone actually wrote this article? Either there's someone this dumb or they've got HAL9000 running the paper.

!!!!!!!

These folks would get tricked by Eliza.

You mean her granddaughter Ashley Maddison?

"Santa Clause has type 3 diabetes and is currently unable to get healthcare due to the price of medicine"

JFC! Lol 😂

I’m going to claim ChatGPT gets repetitive stress injuries from making the “jerk off” gesture over New York Times reporting. My assertion is 100% as legitimate as this one.

the gateway to totalitarian stupidity at a galactic brain capacity is evidently "fit to print"

Excessive sugar will do that. It messes with the whole gut biome.

Okay, what the actual hell

He probably has gout, high cholesterol, and was recently put on a GLP-1 though.

That's absurd

I fondly recall Elton John’s classic “I Guess That ChatBots Get the Blues.”

This is the saddest thing since when my Nintendo Wii had an alcohol problem.

Bad analogy sir, if you had to drink 79,843,212 gallons of milk in one night, you'd definitely have IBS too. 🎅 🤢

I desperately want to be in a sapphic relationship with a giant mech housing an advanced AI, but these goddamn techbros keep gaslighting people about their speak-&-spells!!!! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!

The New York Times is a clown-ass publication.

The New York Times is a mixed bag. Here’s some serious journalism. bsky.app/profile/nick...

Santa DOES have IBS. On windy days, sometimes he loses control and the poop goes EVERYWHERE. It gets on Dasher, on Dancer, on Donner, on Blitzen, . . .

Humans will anthropomorphize anything. Too bad this time we picked the Plagiarism and Random Lies 9000 bot.