The chop suey sandwich: now 70% dryer for some reason.

The correct chow mein for this sandwich comes from Fall River, MA. Not sure what we got goin on in that bun. 🤔

Is it just sprouts on a burger roll? That actually sounds rather tasty.

Order the Global Tetrahedron engineers to develop a chop suey moisturizer.

Is this Salem Willows??? My dad used to sneak away from our picnics to eat those.

Climate change. Or more cawnstaaaach?

I blame the tariffs.

Trump take wet. More and more people have been saying this.

Salem Willow?

*Willows

The Willows?!

Are you at The Willows? ❤️😎

salem willows mentioned !!

At the Willows? (I don’t even know if this is a food that is sold in other places)

Trump take sandwich wetness

We used to be a country.

I thought it was a bean sprout burger in the most literal sense lmfao.

"70% what, now?"

on the plus side it looks 70% less disgusting than the first time you showed us that monstrosity

which still leaves it 400% more disgusting than is acceptable for showing people

Please tell me The Willows in Salem, MA? Oh my Gosh memories. And the sandwich. 💙

Compared to the spaghetti sandwich, which is better?

Trump took wet

"Yes, I'd like my chop suey sandwich extra dry." -a serial killer, probably

Climate Change ramping way up

The wet sandwich photos were probably hurting sales.

Goes against the spirit of it imo

Yeah, where's all the goop?!

WHY'D YOU LEAVE THE CHEESE UPON THE TABLE

I wanted to.

Not the same since the Salem Lowe closed 😔

climate change

Tariffs

why do you keep getting this sandwich that is designed to torture whoever eats it

Glutton for punishment?

Kat is going to win the primary and this will be a front page story for the New York Times.

Inshallah

Getting ahead of the fake outrage with real outrage.

please do not manifest that second thing into existence!

NYT vs Onion, you love to see it

THESE ARE THE RIGHT QUESTIONS

You can't let it win

It's a North Shore thing.

bet it goes great with the bone hurting juice

This man is a professional poster online, what else is he supposed to do? Be happy? Enjoy things? Misery is kind of his deal lol

😂💀

Doesn't that question answer itself?

I think you answered your own question

sandwich shouldn’t need a fork

That sandwich needs a shopvac

that's a taco

okay i’ve just come from an instagram page devoted to chop suey sandwiches and i think tim onion is trolling us by really emphasizing the overflow of bean sprouts also there appears to be a robust roast beef sandwich scene on the north shore of massachusetts

It was invented there, robust is way underselling it. The shops are/were mostly run by Greek and now Albanian immigrants and their kids, and the only way to get it is a 3-way: bbq sauce, cheese, and mayo.

how is this different than chow mein on a bun?

Robust is almost underselling it. It's an obsession. The place in my town only does roast beef on Saturdays, and there's usually a line 50 deep by 10 a.m.

My wife took me to one of those places—in Arlington maybe?—and it was divine.

Arlington is not technically North Shore, but it is possible to get a good one not on the North Shore (much to my chagrin)

I miss King’s Famous in Salem now that I’m in SoCal.

If you've never eaten a roast beef sandwich from the North Shore, you've never eaten one. Once you have, you'll want to do to Arby's what Sherman did to the Confederacy.

Noo don’t burn Atlanta down again Arby’s is headquartered here lmaoo

Hey, there's only two chains around here that do curly fries and Arby's chicken strips are better than Jack in the Box's. Admittedly Rally's (AKA Checkers) is better than either and their fries, while non-curly, are the best seasoned fry on the market, but sometimes you want the curl.

open faced turkey sandwich binch

He's doing it as advanced satire

used to be the cheapest food that could be comprehended by the white devil

For good reason.

What you're doing here with this abomination is way worse for Kat's campaign than anything the right has tried to tar her with.

The look of joy only a strange regional sandwich can bring to a man who has seen some shit

Not as awful as AI slop.

Wait!! I didn’t think anyone was still making these???

70% dryer?

so you're saying it gets worse?! how is that possible

a fork for a sandwich? I’ll be canceling my onion subscription,,

I'm from Oregon. Never in my life could you get me to eat whatever the hell this is.

This is the Stinky Tofu of hamberders…

You don't look like an onion farmer at all

is that good? or bad?

Still wet for a sandwich.... Would it be too damaging to the campaign to reveal if this is a shared holiday tradition?

the slop is now a monthly add-on, only $2.99

SaaS

ChopSueySandwich+

Truly a recession indicator

They’re under new management for at least a year now.

Fiend! You're at Salem Willows! How old is this picture? They closed Salem Lowe 2 years ago! You prolong my pain of loss of chop suey sammiches.

And 30% washing machine 😎

Chop Suey Sandwich - the Charlie Kirk Version.

Is this at Salem Willows??

heater did it under special instructions from me

I dare you to batter and deep fry it.

That might improve it a lot.

the dryness results from the new tariff policy. they took the juice.

Wait! I thought they closed because the new owners were getting so much crap.

Has science gone too far

They put parts from a Maytag in there??

these are different pictures???? you keep doing this to yourself???

The new ownership ruined that chop suey sandwich .

Yes YES is this at the Willows?!

Do folks actually like this?

Put it this way - when the place in my town that sells these announced they were closing, the line was down the sidewalk for days (a new ow er since reopened it)

Actual "please, my wets" post.

needs more slop

have you had a st. paul sandwich?

I like beansprouts, but ..

Is that a bean sprout sandwich on a bun? 😋

Wtf this thing again?

hoooo boy! washing it down with rainbow popcorn I hope

Hoo boy

Cordyceps burger.

My dad liked these. Chow mein bun.

Needs cilantro.

Bean sprouts and a burger bun?

rags for the graphic imagery, damn Ben

no

blocked immediately

You can't keep doing this. Think of your family.

You'd do so well in Scotland my friend. Over here ANYTHING goes on a roll. We'll even deep fry it first.

Goodbye!

my stomach says yes, my eyes say no. lol. can this many ppl be wrong? determined to try it someday. cheers.

Please use a content warning

This is the future liberals want for you

No onion bun?

Would.

Welcome home!

Is it me you're looking for?

"This is not a place of Honor"

There was a food truck at Drexel Univ when I went there in the 80s; American with an Oriental twist. They made a mushroom pizza steak w/ bean sprouts that was to die for.

Can I get it half chow mein, half chop suey? Is the bun buttered? Oh man, I miss home!

The fork setup made me think it was a Sloppy Joe. It's got a bun, but it's a mess!

Salem!

America thought it could deport the hands that feed it and still stay full. The food shortage timeline has already begun: 🥬 Late July: fresh produce 🥛 Fall: dairy & meat 💰 Winter: prices through the roof This isn’t fearmongering — it’s math. 📊 [infographic] #July4th #JulyForth #starvation #fascism

It’s all about the sauce, right?

Looks delicious

☹️

god DAMN it

happy holiday sloppo

Oh! I haven't seen a chop suey sandwich in a minute. I'm from St. Louis, which has the similar St. Paul sandwich, typically fried in patty form and served on sliced white bread.

A deep-fried patty of Chop Suey? In other words, there is actually a 10th Circle of Hell?

Missouri's probably at least a couple of circles, at least cuisine-wise. Delicious, but I shouldn't be seeing my pulse on a regular basis after meals 😅

Yep. I am well aware of the "toasted" ravioli phenomenon😉

Between the gooey butter cake and the toasted ravioli, it's a real struggle!

Is this bugs

I hope @katmabu.bsky.social makes part of her campaign platform the banning of that monstrosity.

Ben.

Is that a bean sprout "burger?"

A chop suey sandwich, probably from Salem Lowe's? I read about it once and it looks horrible but intriguing lol www.atlasobscura.com/foods/chop-s...

😳

Is that just bean sprouts and bread?

It’s gross.

It looks gross.

No. It’s generally chicken chop suey in there, and the bun isn’t warmed up.

Hmmmm. Hopefully he makes it to tomorrow.

I’ve eaten them many times. They’re actually good despite the amount of people freaking out about its looks…

I hate this/thank you!

christ people please subscribe to his newsletter or something so he doesnt have to keep eating this

I see a few structural problems with this sandwich

Is there a burger under that or is it just onions?

those aren't onions, those are bean sprouts.

Bean sprouts

My bad. Bean sprouts.

I like them pad thai but not getting the burger bun 🤢

I would not eat this with my worst enemy's mouth

Tired of these system of a down promotions

Those should’ve been onions and you know it

If you’re going to do the tour of New England food: • Brown bread (from the can) • Fluff • American chop suey • Frappe (which has ice cream, a milkshake does not) • Hot dog in a proper New England style hot dog roll • B&M baked beans (great with bunless hot dogs and brown bread) • Johnnycake

In Rhode Island ( which is in New England, not New York) we call a frappe a Cabinet! I approve everything else.

Rhode Island also has the weirdest pizza.

There are many different kinds of pizza in RI. If you’re talking about the strips with a ton of thick red sauce, I don’t like that either and I’ve lived here for 69 years. I actually make the best pizza.

Followed by pizza in New Haven (Stew Leonards is also acceptable).

Smdh that you forgot about the steak tips

Ran out of characters for the post. 😅

Another 4th of July in Innsmouth

Pickman's Door-Dash

C̸̢̯͆͋͊̓̓̈́t̸̹͇̤̿͒h̴̖̳͙̗͆́ú̴͇͙̤̏́̔ḽ̷̛̗̤͎͙̜̓̚ḩ̵̻̃u̷̙̿͆̇͘͜͝͝ ̵̛̹͕̗̺͐͋́̓͝ͅi̴̡̢̬̗̗̲͌͑ȧ̵̦̮̮͕̊͑̽̀͜ ̶̛̬͉̳̞̬͒̇̽͝f̵͙͓̜̓͛ṱ̷̛͕̺̍͜h̸͍͑̀͒͋̿̚ͅå̶̟̒̀͆͝g̸͍̼̭̠̓̌n̸̡͓̖͉̔͂

No, Salem. Innsmouth had Cluthulu Calimari tribute burgers.

NO.

Now this is what America is all about!

The Onion is doing satirical food now?

This is just chop suey and a roll! Stop pretending its a sandwich!

Jail. Prison. Jail. Immediately.

That looks like asshole

that bread's not fried enough

This looks like it smells like Trump's cologne.

Queso for the win!

it's so upsetting to look at, it has to be amazing

This violates the NYT social media policy.

Underrated.

murica!

Ben…this place closed. The original closed and then the new owner one closed after like a year or two.

Whoah—you didn’t say no onions 🧅

Until I read the comments, I actually thought this was maggots on a bun 🤮

Benjamin.

I’d rather eat the foam container.

Chop Sewage Bun ?

Your burger must be old. It’s sprouting!

Looks awful. Would try!

I just burped my reply

This is mind-bottling

U! S! A!

Welcome back to Massafuckinchusetts, you're doing it right

I would eat that

this looks like some shitty british food that they'd have a silly name for like "worms on white"

ew

Oh MonDieu! Ça se mange vraiment?? On dirait un truc qui a été ramassé dans une poubelle.

You must be stopped

Oh fuck yeah

Not again 😭

I’ll never understand how Americans put wet bean sprouts and other veg on a bun. I love chop suey, but give me chopsticks or a fork. The soggy bun is gross and completely unnecessary.

White ppl white bread lol

My thoughts.

What? Joey Chesnut lost?

Sprouts? Delicious!

Do they still sell them at Salem Willows? I never know if they’re still open. My mom used to make them.

Sadly, the place at the Willows closed, but you can get them around town.

How is she with you

A real life Scrandle burger!

Goodbye.

Bean sprouts and bread?

No

what the fuck is that Tim

Oh no

I look forward to this post every 4th

no!

If I were running a Sunday talk show I would be asking Dems to condemn that in the strongest terms possible

Hope you're enjoying Salem Willows!

it does look dry as hell this time

The real deal is a chow mein sandwich from Fall River, MA. Made with Hoo Mee Chow Mein from the Oriental Chow Mein Company.

With that nail polish, I have to believe that this is accurate

This is the correct answer. The crunchy then soggy noodles used for the Chow Mein sandwich are better than the fill for Chop Suey sandwich of Salem.

This intertown sandwich rivalry is magnificent

Chow mein >> chop suey Every time.

Kat come get your man, this is terrible

why

Let him cook...

"You wanted to." Also, I will never not miss even the most minor opportunity to post the greatest mashup of all time.

Not sure who “SRMashups” is or how they get away with stealing music, but here’s the artist’s YouTube link which has the added benefit of not spoiling the punchline in the title. youtu.be/kR0gOEyK6Tg?...

Thanks. I looked for his, even went to his page, but couldn't find this.

Neil’s got a lot of great stuff. Give this one a listen if you haven’t. youtu.be/nEmyonfpsgI?...

Weirdly Neil lives in the same town as this sandwich!

He rules

Loved that episode of Connections.

Thanks. I follow him on Soundcloud. Mouth Sounds is genius. No hyperbole genius.

No idea what it is but I love bean sprouts too

This is not a regional food, it has simply been quarantined

I found this reaction image years ago under Ben's first post about this sandwich, and I believe it is the right one.

I just made this my avatar image

You are the historian needed today 😂

GDI

Isn’t it a Saint Paul sandwich?

That fuckin' screams "America!"

Hmmm. I think I'll stick with tacos 🌮 😋 🇲🇽

Tim Onions? Or Tim’s Onions?

this would somehow be less disgusting if those were larvae

WHAAAAAAT?!?!?

We use a tortilla here in New Mexico for our Chop Suey .. with green and red chili's, of course 🌶🌶

@katmabu.bsky.social mukbang fundraiser when

If this is the one at The Willows the new(er) place that does fusion (I know, I know) has a bánh mì that's the real f---in' deal, FWIW 👍

Tim what the fuck

this made me visibly angry

Have you ever been to Den Haag? It's lovely this time of year. I mention it only because I think you might eventually HAVE to go voluntarily or involuntarily if you keep posting posting pictures of that abomination.

Well hello there. 😋

Hell yeah bro

That sandwich looks like it needs ivermectin.

Dat boy loves dat sammich!!!

Mate.

What? No St. Paul Sandwich from St. Louis????

Gimme one of those.

I love a good, long-running joke.

A Fresh Hell sandwich 🇺🇸

Yum, looks delicious! I’m making queso! Happy fourth!

To spicy for me, but enjoy!! 🦅🇱🇷

Your queso looks much better.

Everyone knows once you crack and stir in the crust, it rejoins the party. Forever Queso. Do you really think your nearby 7/11 has ever cleaned anything? No, they just add. FOREVER. CHEESE.

What's really upsetting is that for all that this pool of vomit is more carne con queso than the reverse, it probably absolutely slaps on chips

I don't know why, but I made this years ago

🤣🤣🤣

That looks like a Caddicarus skit.

This is half of a Chuck Tingle cover

Garnish with a dollop of chopped suey.

I'm happy to announce a campaign promise of rent caps on all rocks from which people and this thing, crawled out from under, so they can remain there, happily. Forever. Never to be seen or heard from again.

😂

It's giving me Chuck Tingle vibes.

“ben collins is a sentient puddle of burnt and broken queso” is like the third meanest thing i’ve seen posted about him but only the fiftieth weirdest conspiracy theory.

This is weird but I'm so happy I live in a time where you could show me this. Truly a miraculous time being led by history's worst people. But still this is weird as hell and very specific, thanks.

Ya know what, Parker, I've followed you for a while, subbed on that weird twitter sub service? Anyway, super glad to always see whatever weird shit cool people make. Thanks. We live in really fucked up times but some of the connections possible are basically miraculous.

I'm drunk btw, that's all this is, I'm not like this normally so shut up about it ok, I just think you are cool and also other internet fuckin rando cool importantos

Hey thanks 🙏

Sober and giving a +1 to his statement

I am very sober and cannot but join in: Parker is a reason to stay on any social network. Keep on!

Actually stop reading my tweets I am embarrassed, STOOPPP oh my gooood!!!!

your septics full

queso is hard to fuck up, so they were putting in some effort to make it come out this bad

Raaabs

This is apparently a copycat recipe of Chilis’ skillet queso which looks similarly dreadful but is in fact great. I am anti-Perino and take no pleasure in reporting this.

Brendel used one of the old oil wells in south central La to make this concoction of free trips to the emergency room.

no

Proof there's two sides to every wrongdoing, except this time the "two sides" is a bun.

Put a content warning on images like this

Animals need meat. I understand if someone is a vegan but that’s just cruel. There are essential nutrients that animals need that can only be provided from a meat based diet. My opinion is that if someone is vegan and they follow and truly live a vegan lifestyle don’t get a cat nor a dog. Get a fish

Why would a vegan get a fish?

If they want a pet.

Bean sprout burger??????????😱😱 That's a HARD PASS from me!😀

Happy Independace Day from a Canuck friend.

dude. i just realized you are ben collins. until now i thought you were some random writer from onion. i never read your account name lol

I’m not saying you should be deported for this, but it is close.

More like Tim Bean Sprout

Blink twice if you need help.

🇺🇸

Ben nooooo not the chop suey sando

he's getting into the wormwiches again

Ben, no!

making Massachusetts proud 🥲

Mmmm, chop suey sandwich. I haven't had one of those since I was a kid!

But....why?

I thought that was all onions at first because, name

Hi.

Would you like a burger with those onions

Hello. I have questions. Is that a potato burger and it's leaking? Or is it worms with a burger? Or is it a burger with squiggly fries? Asking for someone who exists in my mind as I try to figure out what I'm looking at. 🤣

It’s a chop suey sandwich. This one has about 1 gallon less ‘liquid’ than the last one he posted.

His lastest one attacking his base is a good one. Epstein is a real pressure point for them.

Still looks better than what they’ll be serving at the White House today

"Hamberders," of course.

Get a 3-way for me while you’re home. My sister moved from Merrimack Valley and Harrison’s closed so what is even the point anymore. 🥺

Styrofoam is now illegal in VA. Amazing little bit of progress my

Hey Ben did you hear they came out with Sex 2

Tim Onion Eats Worm Burgers What does this mean for Dems in 2028 and beyond?

Chow mein works too.

My home area sandwich!

This is like "We must make a generic Asian competitor to the banh mi, but we must use only leftovers from the buffet the night before." "Alright, and the bun?" "Uh, find some kinda stale lookin crusty rolls..."

Infamous chop suey sandwich

Thought Salem Lowe was closed?

😶‍🌫️

I'll see your...whatever that is, and raise you a Roman suppli!

If this is in Evanston please let me know where

How is this a real thing? Lol

youtu.be/FkpNEt8vwUI?...

It doesn’t get less ick

It’s back!

Don't know if I'd like it, but would give it a try, barring it having anything I'm allergic to. After all,I love tomato sandwiches, sometimes with cucumbers.

Tomato & cucumber sandwiches on homemade bread make complete sense.

Well, I admit it's not homemade, but it is organic and whole grain bread. My mom just had tomato, but I like the crunch of cucumbers.

I often use cucumbers rather than lettuce in sandwiches for this very reason

Yep. And I use shredded cabbage in my version of quesadilla/tacos for the same reason. Besides, cabbage is healthier

Love cabbage! When I was a kid a neighbor was fixing dinner & gave me a taste of raw red cabbage. Had only had cooked green cabbage before. That turned my back on the green variety for years as in my eyes it was the lesser cabbage lol.

I eat both, but like the red best. I even put red in stir fry. Admittedly, it can have an odd color, but I don’t care. Cabbage has more to offer for me than lettuce, plus it's easier to fix. I like romaine, but washing the leaves gets old.

I prefer red cabbage raw but green cabbage cooked (especially w/ sausage & hot pepper) I’m a late bloomer to arugula. Love its peppery taste. This summer it’s stewed mixed greens (collards, mustards, dandelion, kale) with peppers, onion, garlic & sprinkle of lemon & drizzle of olive oil

I've never tried arugula. As a kid, my mom made mustard, or chard with bacon and vinegar. I like doing "fried" cabbage, red or white, then throwing in a little onion, brown sugar and vinegar. The idea came from a German recipe, except they put a little fresh pork in it. I like it pungeant.

Only had collards as a child. NYC Union Square Market opened my eyes to the varieties of greens. Boston lettuce was an epiphany lol. The one I miss most now is watercress. Just can’t find it anywhere where I live now.

What's that stuff the Klingons eat again

I think my ancestor who fought in the Revolutionary War would've rethought that decision if he had seen that this is the type of freedom he was fighting for.

Oh dude, not today

I don't remember this in the Bible

Lizzie should have taken her axe to whoever dreamed up this slop

That's a lot of sprouts!

What is this? 😳

Your breathe must smell delicious LOL

hey, that's not too bad looking. maybe this is a good sign!?!

Want one!!

Hearing your post in this voice www.youtube.com/watch?v=b315...

Everyone needs a hobby.

When I lived in Boston, I regret not having made excursions to Fall River and Salem for chow mein and chop suey sandwiches.