Has anyone actually ever been at a wedding where they ask the crowd if anybody objects? Is that a thing that at least used to happen, or was that just in movies? Because, you've gotta hand it to 'em, it is a VERY funny idea, having a readily available "Anybody wanna ruin this?" button.
We used to make real drama in this country
I’m pretty sure if this had happened at our wedding my in-laws would have objected loudly.
Just read about an idiot priest who would stop/cancel the ceremony completely if anyone objected or if (for example) people were laughing in the audience.
It’s part of the Protestant marriage ceremony in the Book of Common Prayer. www.bcponline.org/PastoralOffi...
Every wedding in the UK.
It's a medieval thing intended to challenge the legality of a marriage that rom-coms glommed onto and treated as a romantic thing for some reason.
We used Robert’s rules at our wedding so both the bride and groom objected for the purposes of a comment, which was when we said our vows. Instead of “I do”, it was “I remove my objection”
A bunch. Including one where someone should have objected. uncomfortable!
Boy, do I have a wedding prank that included an objection from the best man which actually turned out to be a surprise birthday party for the best man story for you!
It involves a strip club
My friend Bryan pulled a great prank with this (with his fiancée’s collusion): He hired an actor who looked like him to wear a plague-doctor mask and walk down the aisle with his fiancée. (Nobody in the audience blinked at the mask, b/c Bryan is that kind of guy.)
They started the ceremony, & when the officiant got to “Speak now,” Bryan pounded on the doors outside and burst into the hall. “I object!” he shouted. He strode up the aisle, fake-punched the guy in the mask, and made a speech about how much he loved his fiancée. All of us in the audience LOST IT.
Then the masked guy staggered off and they got married. The reception included performances by a rapper, an opera singer, burlesque dancers, & the bride’s father. Craziest wedding I ever went to.
Goddamn that is epic! 🔥
I want to be friends with them!
"I decided to wait until now to say something!!!"
I attended a wedding where the bride said "I object to my groom fucking my maid of honor the night before my goddamn wedding" and stormed out. The father of the bride insisted everyone go to the reception because he'd already paid for it. It was the most awkward dinner. Ever.
Very funny on paper, I'm sure pretty awful in person! 😬
Wow 😱 Super intense.
It was the late 1970s in the South.
Jeez. to the south part not the ruined wedding part
To be honest, I guffawed. Loudly. Yes, it was heard over the collective gasps.
I’ve only been to shotgun weddings Having an objection there is a matter of bravery or stupidity
Thats always been the point. You can object if you want but a couple of people are probably gonna try to kill you.
Cute story: I was at a cousin's wedding when the pastor asked if anyone found objection and my great-grandfather (in his 90s at the time), raised his hands and said yes, this is taking too long and he had to pee. 😂
It was asked at my wedding 26 years ago by a more traditional ceremony. I just attended my daughter's wedding last week and it was not. Same with my other daughter last year. That question was not asked. Interesting point
We didn’t have that part because my ex wasn’t invited so it didn’t need to come up
I was at a wedding and it got to "speak now or forever hold thy peace" and the tiny girl in front of me thrust her arm in the air and shouted "I need a WEE!"
Look, we need to have some good targets for time travel shenanigans, okay?
At our wedding we had people object. We encouraged it, though, and offered a prize for the best objection.
I thought that was standard? I haven't been to a wedding where it wasn't.
i haven't seen it in the last couple of weddings I've attended
It’s required in the Episcopal marriage liturgy. We’ve updated some key things, notably gender inclusiveness for the couple, but that bit remains.
It exists, it happens at least twice at the church I attended that someone stopped the wedding, so freaking funny
My wedding was Wiccan, so no. Only wedding I've been to, I don't like them nor funerals so I don't attend.
What is a Wiccan wedding like? I think I would like it
It's ancient Pagan/Celtic related. Spiritual, not religious, performed by a Wiccan priest or priestess (ours was by a High Priestess), wrists loosely tied to each other throughout to show the bond, you choose your vows & you can choose the portion(s) of the ceremony you want read.
I love it!!
56 yo. Yes, been to weddings in the 80's that did that. Best one, I was in the wedding party, bride was foreign born. When the priest asked in good times and in bad, she thought he said in bed. She said she would try her best.
All of them, and it's more a dare than a question.
Yes, but I think I was 8 I've never seen an actual objection happen. I've never been to a wedding that started on time. I've never been to a wedding that didn't have some kind of conflict during the reception, including, but not limited to, actual fights
Yes. Normally a silence followed by a few giggles depending on the facial expressions or actions of the vicar/priest.
Almost all the weddings I have attended including my own had that question. I've never seen it answered though.
I was at one where there might have been reasons someone would object (mixed races, bride at 3 months starting to show). The minister said those words and there was a loud clearing of throat. Everyone froze. But it was just Uncle Harold getting ready to cough.
They did it at mine
A good opportunity for young relatives and potential heirs of an aging millionaire marrying a young gold digger.
Yes, and I’ve been to weddings where the tradition is that a female guest wearing red is making an accusation about the virtue of the bride and her right to wear white. Ohhh, that was an interesting reception!
I used to do a lot of weddings as a trumpet player, and while I honestly don't recall the answer to your question, other than to say I think I heard something along those lines from time to time, I will tell you that absolutely once the bride changed her mind once everyone was in the church ...
We'd run out of prelude music had read some hymns with light improvising and at that point the organist was noodling when the phone rang, and he stopped. Groom came out, said wedding was off, but the hall was booked and everyone was still invited... One of the wildest things I've ever seen....
yes and it was SO hard not to. extreme call of the void.
At my cousin's wedding, someone stood up and said "yes, me, because i'm at the wrong wedding" and left. Surprisingly that was well recieved by everyone.
They definitely say it at all Catholic weddings.
My father did when my sister got married. He didn’t, but we all wish he had. Just before the ceremony he told her it was fine if she didn’t go through with it.
I think my bride did.
It’s not a thing anymore, and we didn’t have it at my wedding, but I did tell my now-wife that I thought it was a necessary first stress test for a marriage, and that leaving it out of the ceremony inherently weakens the marriage out of the gate.
That’s an interesting take. When I’m doing marriage-prep with a couple before a marriage service, that particular bit does create a nervous kind of energy. It’s always just slightly stressful for everybody. A very last minute double-check. “Are you sure you want to delete this file?”
Yeah I’ve been to a few weddings where this comes up. Always seems to be a very awkward silence with everyone turning around and looking at everyone else followed by a collective sigh of relief when no one speaks.
The officiant didn’t even ask at our wedding so I’ll never know which of our invited guests is permanently in love with me
oh yeah i went to an armenian orthodox wedding recently and that was part of the ceremony and they were Very Serious About It.
The divorce rate says “no”
It was to canvas the families, gathered from far and wide, to make sure the marrying pair weren't related, already married, or one Catholic (why its asked always in the UK). Now its vestigial but my grandmother had an aunt where it turned out he was already married and the wedding stopped.
I have been to two weddings when I have wanted to object. I didn't have the courage.
Ya, back in the 90s. Seems to have fallen out of fashion over the years.
someone has probably already said this, but this is asked it’s really a question of “does anyone know that somehow these people are secretly closely related”
Or if the brides "virginity" was in question.
I didn't ask this at my wedding, but we left out lots of other peoples' traditions.
Do you realize how many movies are based on "object now..."?
It’s standard practice at British weddings! We are, nationally, low key messy bitches who live for the drama
In Europe they have a ‘posting of the banns’ for upcoming weddings. For three weeks your marriage paperwork is publicly posted and if there are objections, anyone can respond. When we were stationed in Germany, even military had to comply.
Every church wedding I’ve ever attended asks it.
You also (for a CoE marriage) need to publish banns beforehand. This gives anyone who has a reason to oppose, the heads up to attend I guess
We did. The “Mysterious El Tigre” showed up to object. Then my husband and his sibling had a sword fight.
This is hilarious 😆
As someone who hates lame Yuppie Weddings, I strongly approve of this.
I didn’t at first but it was a non negotiable for him so love I guess
Splendid!
That is the 100% correct word for this!!
Most weddings I’ve been to, yeah.
Though I don’t think it was ever asked in a serious manner.
Yep, a couple of times. I thinks it's part of the tradition.
One of the the things I learned about Catholic marriage is that by canon law, marriage banns (notice) have to be in the church bulletin several times so that people can object ahead of time if there is an issue.
In doing genealogical research, I found 19th c. ancestors of my husband’s in Canada for whom the Church waived the reading of the banns. On closer inspection, I saw that their first child was born less than 6 months later. 😏
hahaha i love that.
When I was in college, I had an acquaintance who was excused from doing the months-long “Pre-Cana” counseling that is normally required for a Catholic wedding. On similar grounds. 😏
First children in marriages had a surprisingly high rate of prematurity... And given the medical knowledge at the time it's a minor miracle so many of those premature babies made it...
Yes, the first child can come whenever but the subsequent always take 9 months. It is a very interesting phenomenon.
I was born 6 months after my parents' wedding and my grandmother told everyone I was premature. Unfortunately for that claim I was a very chonky baby
If you paid for a licence you didn't have to have the banns read (in England and Wales anyway). Often used for people's second marriages after being widowed.
I've heard it more than once. I'm constantly disappointed that there isn't a single cousin or ex in the room with an impulse control issue.
In NYC, the script officiants are supposed to use includes that part.
Clearly you're not on tik tok hahaha because oh boy are there some VIDEOS of this happening
It was asked as part of the service at my cousin's wedding in Australia 20yrs ago. I should have piped up.
Maybe women secretly hired people to object when they were being forced to get married
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It happened with us. I took the opportunity to turn, with a shit-eating grin, and actually make eye contact with my potential mother-in-law. She did not look amused
It's Complicated ...
At my wedding, we had a joke beforehand that the pastor would speed through “Does anybody object?” because the groom’s mother never, shall we say, warmed to me. He did speed through, and everyone laughed but her. Should have been the giant red flag. #NoLongerTogether
No, but I’ve wanted to blurt out “Survey SAYS….” Family Feud style.
I’ve been to more than one wedding where someone objecting could have saved lots of heartache for the couples...now divorced and so many of us already knew but stayed silent
They say it, but sadly no drama ensues
My wedding had an objection part but that was just to set up a bit for the officiant.
I photographed maybe 400 weddings and saw it maybe 3 times. I think it does vary by region.
I'm pretty sure it was in Jane Eyre, too. Having said that I can't actually remember encountering it in a real wedding. Maybe it is an exclusively Anglican thing?
If you're going to keep a madwoman in your attic, it's gonna happen.
#FreeBertha
😆
I was told it was a "just in movies" thing.
I wait for that question every time I go to a wedding. Because I'm a big objector. But alas...
Yes, and someone should have objected at mine. Would have saved me a divorce. 😒😉
They did it back in the nineties in my aunt's wedding. I had a bad feeling and asked her if she was sure. Sadly he cheated on her a year after. Everything went wrong.
Every ceremony I’ve been to has done that bit yeah.
It's a real standard part of the service in many denominations. I remember clearly because I heard the story at our reception of That One Friend who we all knew was the most likely to have fun with it, and the friends seated on *both* sides of him elbowed him in the ribs.
He insisted that he wasn't going to say anything, but he did think it would have been funny to ask "are you sure you two kids aren't rushing into this?" (We'd been dating for years.)
My late dad was a pastor and someone objected early in his career. But in my experience this silly tradition went away at most weddings by the 80s-90s. It wasn’t uttered at mine in ‘83.
Its not silly when someones marrying a 12 year old
Idk, it happens in Sherk
I once saw on a subreddit where a woman actually posted on Craig’s List offering to pay someone to ruin her sister’s wedding, which was outdoors in a park, by streaking behind the couple just after the I dos, thus ruining the photo of ‘the kiss’. I never wished I had been at a wedding so badly…
I’ve only heard that retroactively from a few brides and grooms. “I wish someone would have said something!”
I think that this is part of the Anglican service from BCP that has come down as the "generic Hollywood wedding service." I'm not sure if it's a substitute for "reading the banns," i.e., announcing the upcoming marriage in church for weeks in advance to identify any impediments.
Not a substitute. Banns for three weeks before the service, then one last check during it. Civil weddings have the names posted on a list at the register office for a month beforehand instead of banns.
Thank you for clearing this up. Much appreciated.
I've photographed over a hundred weddings and I've only ever seen it once!
the more important part of that line is "or forever hold your peace"
if someone had just asked Lyle Lovett, how much poorer we'd be.
I've never heard it at a wedding, I think. But then my friends are hippie weirdos and write their own vows.
Most of the TV marriage ceremony ("Dearly beloved...") is taken from the Anglican Book of Common Prayer, and yes, the "Speak now; or else for ever hold your peace" section is still in the standard marriage ceremony (page 422 of the PDF linked from www.episcopalchurch.org/what-we-beli... ).
Happened to a relative of a friend, when the ex gf showed up yelling. She was removed from the ceremony as it was not a valid objection
Yes. Ex Church Warden. Said at every wedding.
Just a guess using the divorce rate there are plenty who would have liked it included!! Jokes aside, being well intentioned, making a commitment, and not placing blame, it's just not always enough and there's never a one size problem fits all when two are involved.
Most of the weddings I’ve been to have had this. It’s part of the script I think (in Scotland anyway). Nobody has challenged this far…
I’ve been to one wedding that had the ability to object (but the church had the right to not accept it depending on the intentions) but also had a section about the bride swearing servitude to the groom. Southern Baptist.
In the Episcopal marriage ceremony, this question is asked. The priest pauses about 3 seconds.
Yeah, it was part of Christian Wedding services IRL. Think it went the way of the dodo bird. In Jewish wedding ceremonies, it’s «Mind your own damn business.»
Yup! And it was actually somewhat plausible that someone would object because the bride's parents weren't very approving of the groom! One of the tensest moments of my life
Yes, several. I once had to look at my mom sternly because I knew she was imagining saying something.
I have a relative who specifically attended a wedding to object
I have been at a wedding where someone objected When everybody gasped and turned the chap said ‘oops, wrong church’ and rushed out. He had been put up to it by the Groom’s Best Man!
It's required in the UK
yeah, it's a legal requirement intended to prevent polygamy
And if anyone actually objects (even as a joke) the wedding can not happen that day
But omg it’s an invitation for intrusive thoughts 😂
💯
My mother dug her nails into my arm at my sisters wedding at that point 😂
It was around for quite a while. Not at our wedding, which was sort of hip, but I remember it at a friend’s catholic wedding in the 80s.
Episcopal priest here - it’s in our marriage liturgy. We ask it of the couple and the congregation.
What do you do if someone objects?
I’ve never had it happen, but if it did, I would pause the ceremony, go into a private room for a discussion, and depending on the objection would either continue or postpone. That would only happen if there was suspicion of illegality, like someone is still married to someone else.
Fair! That's what I was told as well. The minister determines what happens next depending upon the objection. Simply raising an objection does not mean the ceremony cannot proceed. Thank you for your reply!
i used to work on a soap opera. impossible to get through one of these things without at least one person objecting
Chekov’s marriage plot device
LOL the ratio of soap opera episodes where this happens, relative to real-life weddings where this happens, must be basically 16,784/0
ya but to be fair they usually had a really good reason to object
The “evil twin” clause strikes again.
The “evil twin who is a spy” clause?
As many as real life quicksand incidents to TV plot lines for my entire childhood
I feel like I spent my entire 1980s childhood in terror of quicksand I want those stolen years back
Exactly
I dunno folks, the terror is worth it. Also, more people should be terrified of floating bogs. Just sayin'
“boom mic operator????”
i used to work at an Acme Explosives factory. impossible to get through one shift without at least one cartoon coyote getting blown to bits
I used to work in silent film.
I used to be an adventurer. We registered objections via arrows to the knee.
Ironically, "took an arrow to the knee" is a reference to getting married.
"I used to be an adventurer like you, then I got married." Yeah that works actually
Apparently that's just an internet rumor. www.snopes.com/fact-check/t...
Deliberately silent or did your sound guy just suck?
What about anvil drops?
The only harm to the coyote is a deeply wounded ego. He is never physically injured, beyond a bit of scorched fur and band-aids. And entirely beside the point, but coyotes are actually faster than roadrunners. Smarter too.
Literally every wedding I've been to, I assume it's the law in the UK and not elsewhere. The priest or official always makes the same joke "that's the risky part over"
Doesn’t happen anymore. I play 75 weddings a year and have never heard the question asked.
Another Thursday, another wedding in Newport, RI. Zero objections asked. Zero cousins fighting over custody. But hey, what do I know? I just play dozens of weddings a year for a living. Granted, they aren't in Oklahoma.
It's common at church weddings, and it's also part of the civil marriage if you get married at City Hall where I am (NYC). Probably churches and governments are slower to change their ways.
Literally happened at my sister's wedding.
I believe the words were spoken however the officiant at both weddings I remember didn’t even pause after the question and kept moving along with the rest of the ceremony. One way to still ask but not entertain an answer. 😂
Every wedding I've ever attended has asked this in one way or another...I think it's part of the legal requirement...
I'd imagine anyone answering yes is even rarer. But I think it's in the liturgy, churches are, slow to chance, even if it was felt it's no longer needed. 🤔 I suppose...
I did not include it in my ceremony because we didn't want anyone to be tempted (there were jokes around objecting before hand).
Yes, and then after they said it they didn't leave time for anyone to respond. Later it would be revealed that one of the officiants (it was a married couple performing the wedding and it was their first time officiating) was having an affair with a barmaid he had hired. 🤷🏻♂️ 🏌🏻♂️ ⛳
I’d have pushed this button at Trump’s parents’ wedding
My last wedding to the Episcopal priest I'm still married to, was straight out of the BCP. So yeah, to quote: "If any of you can show just cause why they may not lawfully be married, speak now; or else for ever hold your peace."
The phrase - Into this holy union N.N. and N.N. now come to be joined. If any of you can show just cause why they may not lawfully be married, speak now; or else for ever hold your peace. happens all the time at Episcopal weddings that use The Book of Common Prayer marriage service.
I got married by Elvis and he asked
Without knowing the answer, this sounds like a vestige of English common law, where you often had to announce legal filings to give people notice and an opportunity to object; same reason that today if you're creating a corporation you usually have to print notice in a newspaper classified ad.
Yes - along with posting of the bans. That said, if you had money/clout you could buy your way around it with a special license that let you get married without bans and without doing it in the church (where the whole town would see it and be able to object)
Yes and I believe this was to prevent bigamy.
Is this why if you change your name you also have to announce it in the fucking newspaper?
Yep!
Yep. "The complete wording... comes from the marriage liturgy section of the Book of Common Prayer. First published in 1549" See also publishing of marriage banns, for the same reason.
This exchange just brought me so much joy. Thank you.
It was said at each of my weddings, to the first husband in 1979 and the second one in 1996. Nobody said anything at either.
I have. I don't know if they still do it. My understanding is that it's for *legal* objections, like "She's still married to someone else!"
Yes. At my wedding. In retrospect, I really should have spoken up.
😂😂😂
same!
Hahaha one more here
I’ve been to weddings where they’ve said it Yeah. I think it’s less of a seriously regarded thing and more of something that was always In the script? (I’ve never been at a wedding where someone actually objected though)
At my friend's wedding, near a river, a passing boater yelled "DON'T DO IT!"
They did it at my aunt's wedding. Both of my grandparents responded "please, take her!"
Attended dozens of weddings by now I'm sure. Never seen this.
No, BUT in hindsight, I really wish someone had stood up and said something during mine. Could’ve saved me a mountain of heartbreak and a mortgage's worth of money. Seriously, if only someone had handed me that, “You’re making a huge mistake” coupon!
Pretty standard at UK weddings it seems! Often referring to 'they're already married' or in a relationship info or 'they are related' etc. It's not exactly just meant to be a ruin this button lol
Yes! Guests invariably look around, like they're expecting someone to speak up.
It’s, uh, part of the service if you get married in a Church of England church. I’ve SAID the words (and warned the groomsmen not to be funny ‘cos I’ll have to stop the wedding)
It's in the Book of Common Prayer so it's in a lot of successor Protestant liturgies
At a wedding? No. But I think it would have been hilarious if they'd asked that at the last Inauguration.
i was a bridesmaid eons ago, the morning of the wedding some of us found out the bride had slept with the best man. it was an outdoor ceremony and just after the celebrant asked that a huge clap of thunder rang out sending everyone who knew into absolute fits
Yeah. I almost did once. The guy said the thing and I looked at my wife like “should I” and she shook her head so I didn’t. Still kind of regret that.
It’s still in the English church’s wedding ceremony. I always hold my breath at that point!
Every wedding i have attended has featured this question or a variant. Sometimes the celebrant will even pause and eyeball the crowd as if daring anyone to do so. 'Does anyone object?' asked with the same tone a teacher might ask 'did any of you draw a dick on the blackboard?'
As a Dudeist priest, I say “If there is anyone here who objects to this union, kindly keep it to yourself. Looking at you, Aunt Carol.”
For my convalidation (sacramental marriage) we each had to have two witnesses who have known us our entire adult lives swear that we’d never been married before/don’t have other impediments to marriage. I think that’s what that question is for.
Wikipedia says it's also just in case you're a nun on the lam!
Hahaha!!!!
I've performed hundreds of ceremonies and no one has EVER wanted to do it, I am an officiant of cowards
I only go to Mexican Weddings. So, instead of objecting someone just throws the first punch. So much better than American weddings. Instead of "lame DJ Clone #349 million," you get mariachi and tequila.
Also, me right now: www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZwS...
Can we do this for Presidents before the swearing in?!? Asking for a few million friends…
🤣I think it only happens in movies and TV. There is, however, a disturbing trend wherein the newly wedded couple smash wedding cake into one another's faces. I imagine that a quick divorce would follow.
My mother-in-law asked the priest to not marry us, shortly before our wedding as guests were being seated. She was a horrible woman.
(In the UK at least) it's a legal requirement to ask during a civil service.
I can't even think the words dearly beloved without wanting to go crazy. youtu.be/aXJhDltzYVQ?...
This is still a thing in some churches, and the priests sometimes consider themselves mandated by god to shut the whole thing down if someone so much as even thinks lf being funny about it. I've seen a few interviews on the subject, they take it super seriously in some places.
Not so much 'mandated by God', at least in the Church of England, as legally required. We have to stop the service and look into the allegation.
They did that at one of my aunt's weddings. (I only remember that wedding because I ate 11 pieces of cake in one sitting. I was 9.) No one objected. In retrospect, they should have, because the hubby was a narcissist and he hid it so well that everyone except my grandfather trusted him.
Used to be standard
In days of yore, impending weddings were announced by "publishing the banns" on 3 consecutive Sundays, and the question about conditions barring the marriage during the ceremony, were intended to prevent bigamy. There was no government record keeping. Especially true in RC and CofE jurisdictions.
The above is a bit garbled, for which I apologize. Publishing the banns *and* asking the question during the ceremony were both measures meant to screen out potential bigamy in an era when there was no easy way to check on someone's marital status.
Literally every wedding I've been to, and every time a little voice in the back of my head tries to convince me to do something very stupid
Almost every wedding I’ve been to has included that - except one.
I officiated a few weddings and I never thought to ask
2 One in FL were the mom said he son had to chose God and his family or this ungodly woman Another were the bride's college roommate professed her love. Wedding got rescheduled. Heard they got a divorce a few years later
Yah, it was real.
I used to work weddings as a verger at a large Episcopal church in NYC, and saw this question asked dozens of times. At the rehearsals, the priest would request that those present object *before* the wedding.
This must have ended before the invention of the reply guy and the troll
It's a legal requirement!!
It didn't occur in either of my weddings. For some reason, I've only been to one other wedding, my daughter's, which now strikes me as very odd. How did that happen? I'm suddenly feeling a great void.
The one wedding I might have used it for, they’d actually married at town hall the night before because she had a habit of leaving grooms at the altar and they didn’t want it to happen again.
Last chance for someone to tell the couple they're half-siblings
Yep. The question was asked at our wedding. No one objected. Celebrated our 40th anniversary back in May. Not sure who to blame for that. 😂
Every wedding I’ve been to has that statement. I don’t think I’ve ever heard it not said.
yes. it was my wedding, and we had our friend dress up like an old-timey silent movie villain and object to our love
And then the officiant pulled out a big ol pistol and shot a "BANG" flag at them, I hope?!
Holy fucking shit, new wedding idea
Was it Snidely Whiplash? 😏
It would have been perfect if I’d done this and also taken my music composition professor up on his offer that he’d work any wedding for free if he could play the wedding march in a diminished key 😂
Yoooo that would be sick. Just make sure it’s a goth or metalhead wedding and change instruments and fx to match.
That would be amazing!
At my wedding, we had the band do a jazzy version of Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up.” Two groups of people. One just enjoyed the nice music. The under-30 crowd was chuckling for some reason.
I'd be in the over-40 crowd also laughing
I should have more properly said “internet crowd”
😊
Did you go as far as gasps and dramatic organ music? Did anyone faint?
I well recall a bit in The Jeffersons where an aunt/matriarch dramatically cleared her throat, to this day one of the funniest bits I've ever seen on television.
I Have No Mouth, and Must Object
This is epic. May your love stay for thousands of years
Even better (and if you like, Machiavellian, depending of who's banged whom) is to have select parties object –each thinking that they're the only ones to do so.
sounds funny. to others, check with your officiant first, i was just reading a reddit thread about this (so, yknow, maybe grain of salt) but apparently some officiants are strict about this sort of thing.
absolutely! we had a friend officiate (universal life church ordainment, baby!), but i'm sure this would not fly with more traditional officiants
Yes. And when they asked the question, I looked left and right at the people I was sitting with, to see if any of us would stand up. We all knew the marriage was a mistake. Within a year it was over, and the couple was separated.
Its still part of the ceremony in the UK.
It's in the Book of Common Prayer: > Into this holy union N.N.. and N.N.. now come to be joined. If any of you can show just cause why they may not lawfully be married, speak now; or else for ever hold your peace. So if you're at an Anglican / Episcopalian / etc wedding, you might hear it.
Some traditions still announce the "banns of marriage," which gives notice to any objectors.
Isn't that still a legal requirement in the UK? (My entire knowledge of this comes from watching Don't Tell the Bride)
There are alternatives, but it's the simplest (and cheapest) route for a Church of England wedding. Civil weddings have a list posted at the register office for a month instead.
Yes, it was the legal/formal proceedings and I remember very little/question some of what I remember because I was a mere child. However, I raised my hand to object and I seem to recall someone pulling it back down 😳
I don’t think so? But I guess I was never looking for it, and they did say it it probably wouldn’t have stuck in my memory, like the time I heard a rabbi bring up 9/11 for no reason during the ceremony. Several years after it had happened. THAT stuck in my memory.
Is this AskReddit? I swear there are threads of great answers where there are objectioners.
I have always wanted to attend a wedding (albeit one where I wasn’t super close to either the bride or groom, but like they’re a friend of my date) where this happened, because the drama would be kind of delicious to watch unfold.
yes, but I'm old. They don't really pause like they do on tv. They just say "if anyone objects let them speak now or forever hold their peace".
Need an "I give it a year, two tops button"
I mean, I was at an outdoor wedding where thunder boomed after they asked if anyone objected. The couple said, "Huh. God objects." And called off the wedding. 😂 (They stayed friends after!)
did they eventually marry other people or what?
This was in the late 80s, friends of my parents. I think I remember my dad mentioning the woman remarried. Not sure about the guy but I'd assume he did!
that's wild
At my most recent wedding, the priest said to the 20 or so attendees, “If any of you has any objections to this union, you should have come to see me in my office before now. “
Before there were computer databases to make sure you weren’t a bigamist, they read banns each week for three weeks in the Anglican church so neighbors had time to wreck it for you. That’s why people eloped to Scotland if they were in a hurry. Poor manners to wait for the wedding but much more fun!
One of Germany's former foreign ministers who is still known as the "Turnschuh Minister" because he got sworn in as a state minister in the 1980s in inappropriate footwear (deliberately) eloped to Gretna Green as a teen.
No, people eloped to Scotland because the age of consent was lower.
Oh yes, good catch
And because you could keep nosy relatives and neighbors out of the proceedings. This aspect remained relevant into the 20th century...
I always wondered what the banns were for. Thanks
yes, only been to one that didn't with a secular officiant
It's legally required in UK wedding ceremonies to this day so, yeah, a lot of them.
Apparently, this got changed recently but it's still part of the Anglican standard service.
My monster-in-law inhaled to start to speak, the minister quickly moved on.
Last one I remember was in the 70s and I was a child.
Legally has to be asked here in the UK. Also, I saw an amusing video the other week of people getting married next to a field. When the question was asked, a cow mooed the loudest it could. Hang on, I’ll find it.
I was at a wedding where a peacock did this. Never discount a wandering animal for sassy timing.
I was playing at a wedding garden party once with all the ladies in their finery, the bride in her beautiful dress when a peacock sassed it's way to centre stage and unfurled it's tail. We were all like "ok bud, you win" 😃
In Britain it’s a standard part of Anglican church weddings and if someone raises an objection, even as a bit, the wedding cannot legally go on. I have heard of exactly one instance of this thing happening, groom’s friend thought he was funny and the couple had to have another wedding.
I never knew that! I was told the minister would stop the wedding and consult with the person that objected in private. If the objection was frivolous, the wedding could continue. Perhaps I was told wrong. 🤷♂️
tbh I don’t know that the minister *couldn’t* allow the wedding to go on, just that in this case he *said* he couldn’t, even though the objector told him he was only joking 🤔
It's happened at every wedding I've been to, but is now almost treated as a moment of light relief during a procedural formality (uk)
It's been part of every wedding I've been to, both secular and religious!
I've heard it at every nominally Christian wedding I've been to, but I'm pretty sure we didn't have it at ours, Catholic service (but not a Mass) in a church. But also our then-church was pretty liberal and non-conforming to the hierarchy.
Tons. I always look around the room hoping somebody will pop out of a pew all like PLEASE DON'T MARRY THAT SCUZZBUCKET JANET but it never happens
bsky.app/profile/rslo...
they just tryna create suspense😅
Well, it’s a very serious decision. Repent in leisure But it is weird, and fascinating too. I wonder how often it happens. I’ve never seen it
Yes at least 3 weddings I’ve attended had this part. They were all in churches officiated by a religious leader. Hasn’t been included in any secular/non-church weddings that I can recall.
youtu.be/F2TYGU6OcXk?...
It’s standard in the UK wedding service but they don’t leave a huge ominous pause or anything
I'm surprised my, now mother in law, didn't object to me stealing her first born from her 🤣
Standard in Anglican weddings. From The Book of Common Prayer (1662). (Which also has a section on The Gunpowder Plot…) www.churchofengland.org/sites/defaul... The modern legal requirement is to have the couple make a declaration that they know no lawful reason why they can’t get married.
Yeah, we had a registrar and it’s just part of the official bits
Required wording under UK law: assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/682467...
many times, everyone does the fake look all around and chuckle at the people next to you move. no one has ever had the stones to speak
It's a UK requirement!
