Feeling ground down by the fascism, sure, but also by the bombardment of tendentious propaganda. Jeans for white titties. The "performative male" thing, a clear psyop by the laziest intern at the Heritage Foundation. In 7 months the only acceptable attire will be a t-shirt with a big handgun on it.
Ahem... A big tee shirt with a handgun in it.
I'm starting a line of bulletproof t shirts that are fully customizable with whatever type of gun we're allow to put on it.
i want one with an Ottoman matchlock musket
Oh
In 7 months people will be painting their faces orange after the fatman passes away from heart failure.
If he lasts that long. Guy looks worse at 80 than George H. W. Bush looked at 94.
It will be 4 of them arranged in cross, with the handles facing clockwise.
I'm a bit surprised Americans rolled over for the fascists, but just a bit. I knew when Dobbs dropped and stripped half the population of bodily autonomy and we just rolled over for it and celebrated that 4th of July as if it still applied to all of us, I knew we'd roll over for anything.
I’m not surprised. I landed off the boat in 1979 from Iran, side eyed the joint, and knew same shit, different country in a few decades. Wish I had listened more to my 10 year old self and accepted my uncle’s offer to go work for him in Germany
I lived in Argentina during and after a military coup. Came to the US in 1980. I knew from the get go that the lack of good public education, greed and racism would be the downfall of this country. Although I knew this day would come, it’s still wild watching it happen.
What are the odds of going through this bullshit twice in one lifetime? I didn’t sign you for this. I want my money back.
I’m out of here! My husband is applying for Italian citizenship. In September we’re going to Spain and Portugal to explore little towns. My husband is white and has lived in the US all his life so we’re not sure if he’ll adapt to life in Europe but he’s willing to try.
My significant other, and most people in my immediate orbit, have absolutely no fucking clue what's happening, even though I've told everyone who would listen since the 2015 election that the U.S. was GOING to fall to the fascists. I want out of this insane asylum, though it'll likely mean divorce.
I’m so sorry that you don’t have people around you who share and support your morals and ethics. It’s especially sad when you can’t count on your partner for support. It’s a tough choice- betray yourself and stay with your partner or leave to be true to yourself. I wish you strength and peace.
I have family in 3 European countries and in Canada. I don’t think any of them want Americans unless you’re sitting on st least half a million dollars
My husband is eligible for Italian citizenship because his grandfather was born in Italy. We hired an attorney in Italy who thinks we have a good chance of being granted citizenship. It will most likely take two years. Fingers crossed!
Wishing you all the good luck
Born here in the US and I too wished I had left to Germany when I had the chance.
I wish you guys could sue some of these people who are just casually jacking the Onion brand by imitating Onion classic wtf style headers. I know you can’t, but this pisses me off, in a way.
and that handgun has truck nuts on it
I'm overwhelmed by the cognitive dissonance of it all. I watch the news to stay informed, but the people I want to talk to most are totally anti-fact and pro-delusion. They think statistics are all rigged and science is all a scam, and then try to use bad statistics and bad science to defend claims.
What's the opposite of a tautology? There are some things from Trump that are just obviously self countering. Was Jan 6 an insurrection? Well it was leftists, but he pardoned them. Well he had no control of DC police, until now. It was Nancy Pelosi's mob, but he called them great people.
It's sociopaths respecting the "game" of fellow sociopaths. Say whatever you can to deflect blame onto your enemies, then gloat when they can no longer harm you
It's all vibes, no facts needed.
Trump EO 7788: The Punisher logo is henceforth affixed to every Flag. Also the Punisher comic is banned for being anti-cop.
need a mashup of Donnie Demento face and punisher logo
MAGA is anti-cop.
Then how come all the cops are maga
Because cops are fucking stupid
MAGA in a nutshell
LoL. Exactly. MAGA is anti everything MAGAs say they care about. It’s terrible policy even for them, but they’re still supporting all this insane bullshit anyway then going “that’s not what I voted for why is trump doing this” when their businesses get shut down and their families get deported.
I don’t know if that’s true or not, but what I do know is they beat the capitol police, & have all been pardoned for their “good” deed. Furthermore MAGA congress is preventing a plaque honoring the DC police from January 6th, to be hung in the capitol building. Petty & cruel. MAGA hates law & order.
I agree with you, but vast majority of cops and LEO in general are right wing and don’t care about any of that.
Yeah probably. I’d question any LEO who remains in their jobs today, given how much their job description has changed in 2025. Maybe you weren’t bad, but if you didn’t quit now that you’re marching orders are cruel and often unconstitutional that’s a problem. They’re still taking that paycheck.
too bad they dont take an oath to the constitution
To MAGA, “law and order” means the use of state violence against black and brown people. They are pro-cop insofar as the police continue to be a useful tool to enforce white supremacy.
100%
true
yes, and?
lol. I don’t know why my post landed here, but I missed my target. It was for another comment.
ah, we thought you may have been missing the point
I’m in a bubble bath with a glass of wine, my aim is off.
This dude is hilarious @missingthept.bsky.social
I’ll follow. Thank you!
bsky.app/profile/aqui...
@snikpoh.bsky.social
Wait, this isn't normal? That would explain soooooo many HR meetings.
Don't worry, it will be state-mandated attire very, very soon.
As long as it's available in big and tall sizes, I'm surprisingly ok with it.
😂
a wasteland of the most ridiculous cishet nonsense you could ever imagine
The handgun will also be required to have testicles
Gun Nutz patent that yesterday
oddly giving "gun nuts" a new meaning
I think we just came up with a million dollar idea. Gun nutz, like truck nutz. A small attachment that fits in the accessory rail of a gun.
actually, try it? might be a hit
Swastika Night was not a manual!
The most effective way to fight it, imo, is to create art Right here. On bluesky Art that isn’t intended to make money
maybe they'll just enforce a country wide dress code for it
Sounds like a great Merch opportunity 😉
I feel this, man.
"the only acceptable attire will be a t-shirt with a big handgun on it." Um there will still be pants, right? RIGHT?! 👀🫣
I empathize with you, Ben, but also I stopped being able to focus after the word "titties"
Yeah, I am also wondering where these titties will be.
Talk, wlak, whatever.
You had me at the double typo.
The thing is, the dumber and lazier it all gets, the closer we are to all of it failing.
If you're willing to let this go on for another 7 months, then you deserve that stupid shirt, as well as everything else you get.
And the only acceptable identity red state billionaire or trophy wife. I miss the cornier bits of Americana, when we (pretended?) to like apple trees and grandmas who made banana bread and pediatricians and etc. Now it’s golden toilet or go home 💔
That’s it everybody stop wearing clothes until the revolution is over This is how we win All the titties out
An aside: I wonder how many ICE "agents" would be reticent to abduct naked suspected immigrants?
nudity for the people!
Jeans for white titties 😂
Remember that you never have to choke down the firehose of bullshit.
Sounds to me like you just found a new perfect shirt design to add to the Onion store.
Gunion. Its an onion thats also a gun. In shirt form.
Haha that’s perfect.
“7 months”? I thought everything now was in “2 weeks”
Ha only an optimist assumes we will have t-shirts in 7 months
My handgun t-shirt says “Guns don’t kill people, cops kill people.” Will that be allowed?
You said the Word of the Day! “Tendentious”!
...they keep narrowing the definition of what it means to be a man then get offended by people who don't fit it.
I attended a Performative Lesbian Contest last week. it was outstanding.
Performative Lesbian Contest? Why does lesbianism have to be a competition. Can't we all just relax and enjoy?
It’s actually just a speed dating event because all the exes are competing anyway
Was it at a Lynx game? I kid, I kid. But seriously was it?
It was tongue in cheek. Notable entries included the woman who brought her pet rats, the one with carpentry tools strapped to their pants, and the couple whose entry consisted of making out on stage. It was top notch entertainment. (and really great community building)
Authoritarianism always comes with a dress code. Uniformity is the point.
Well don't worry, partnering with stop-and-frisk Bloomberg to disarm people at a time like this will fix it!
Well friend, I’m a doctor of history. I can’t actually help you with any of this. But what I can do is give you a prescription for a “big ass Negroni” for this particular Saturday night. The medicine is more efficacious if taken with a group of friends sitting at an outdoor table. Cheers.
I'm thinking it'll be a t-shirt with a big handgun in it.
there's a hot pepper stand at our farmer's market called point blank pepper company. at this point i wanna start a tapas joint called "i am going to shoot you in the face with a gun"
I’d eat there
Sounds great in every aspect but the tapas part.
tapas is spanish for chop suey sandwich
I thought it was Spanish for "overcharge"...?
Exactly. Give me my own goddamn plate of food at dinner time. At other times tapas is fine but I’m Murican, give me dinner or give me death
[drunk don Draper presenting] Double Tapas
How about a brand of chilli sauce packaged in Colt replica water pistols?
great idea, for that ingenuity you've earned a free coupon for a gunshot to the face* *not redeemable at any i am going to shoot you in the face with a gun locations because they don't exist and fbi agents won't understand that i'm memeing
Yayy!
To clarify, it’s not a t-shirt with a picture of a handgun. It’s a plain white tee with a real handgun Velcro’d to the front.
Like that banana taped to the wall?
Bananas are a buck a piece nowadays.
Art Basel... I remember that 😁
Can it have a swastika on the back or should it just be lots of guns?
Sounds about white
Not even. Just a big handgun. Titties out!
Based on the unhinged clips YouTube is putting in my feed, shirtless is going to be the attire.
I'll keep wearing my Princess Donut Princess Posse Dungeon Crawler Carl shirt.
Man, who ever came up with the American Eagle ad needs a raise. That shit still has everyone distracted. She is also the face of Hey Dude shoes, but no one (on either side!) blinked an eye before. The point of an ad is to get people talking about it, to remember it. Focus on real issues.
Not just any handgun but a big, beefy hand-cannon with a bullet shooting out the end and a grenade on each side. That way everyone knows the man wearing it is both well-endowed and super-straight. Nothing gay about a man being obsessed with phallic imagery.
Not a picture of a handgun. A real firearm weighing down your Hanes and stretching the neck out. We will be told this is the highest fashion and the only way to be safe in a world where brown people exist.
I'm weaving a shirt woven out of tiny pistols and pants made of bullets and testosterone pills just to be prepared.
Still tim onion tho
Jeans for white titties? Isn't that a Moody Blues song?
It's gotta have a Punisher skull bleeding into assault rifle silhouettes
Thank you for calling them out by name : the heritage foundation - these people are the real danger, not 🍊.
One in the same. The 🍊💩 is their useful idiot.
And/or “Trump 2028”
No one needs a gaping asshole with a micro penis yet he’s at Costco.
I can already tell from the haircut in this photo that this guy is the parent who asks their kid if the friend they want to have a sleepover with is black or white.
Youre one back spasm away from doing a "normal coffee!" Post
The acknowledgment of this guy was my biggest pop in Happy Gilmore 2
RIP Jaws from 007
I need a shirt like this.
There's a jillion dorks online who'll sell you one. Just don't buy it from Super 70s Sports - dude's a MAGA chud
Great tweet.
Sorry for wives dropping off kids at school with the God, Guns, and Trump sticker on the family van.
Eh, most of them are the ones that put ‘em there.
Don't think women are as enamored of Trump as are men.
He won white women every time he ran.
And he flat out OWNED white men.
www.nytimes.com/2013/07/16/o...
I am a man on the threshold of beat David Brooks into a coma.
But, but.... John Wayne 🙃
Uuhhhhh can someone explain the "jeans for white titties" reference?
I think it’s a reference to the recent Sydney Sweeney jeans ad nonsense.
All *legal* Americans will be required to have the name Braiden tattooed on their arm by a guy who decided to get into tattooing yesterday and bought a tattoo gun out of a magazine.
FYI I rang up three individual dudes today who had blurry arm tattoos of the name Braiden. One of them also had the name Aiden tattooed on them.
Hah, I (a liberal) used to have a red shirt w white pistol on it & loved wearing it while trying to maintain the road lanes w my bike. Was just wishing I still had it the other day.
Someone said reading is a performative man thing and it's like. I would rather people read preformatively than not read at all idk! Idk.
Grunt Style probably has this covered already considering my old coworker had one with a smoking gun that said, “aromatherapy.”
I’m going on an all Sylvester musical diet in protest. Fuck white American men and their increasingly intangible grip on masculinity
Reminder that Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator's got electrolytes what plants crave.
Brought to you by Carl's Jr ™!
STOP THE BLATANT CORRUPTION AND DESTRUCTION OF OUR DEMOCRACY* STOP THE SYSTEMIC OPPRESSION OF THE WORKING CLASS** *VOTE ALL REPUBLICANS OUT ** TAX THE BILLIONAIRES THE PEOPLE HAVE THE POWER TO DO THIS. IT REQUIRES EDUCATING ONESELF RATHER THAN SWALLOWING PROPAGANDA AND *VOTING ACCORDINGLY*.
A muscle shirt
