I have spoken at length about how bad actors are seeking to blame Europe for the Uk's Brexit choice. They feed entitlement and a sense that the law shouldn't apply to them. Case in point. Dr Kidd's situaution is that she lives in Belgium, and her kid has turned 18 A 🧵
So this person emigrated to a another country two years ago with a 16 year old child and now, because of doing no forward planning or even a basic thought given to what would happen to the child when it ceased being a dependent And she blames the country she emigrated to for this, along with the
..the obligatory swipe at Schengen and the visa waiver If she had emigrated to USA or Japan would she blame those countries and their immigration laws for the situation (and no doubt also shoehorn Schengen into the equation too) or realise that it was her own mistake for not doing proper research
Fairly churlish. It's the talk of rights I can't get over. Sheer entitlement.
They didn’t know or evidently care how good they had it until it touched them personally. Rejoining would totally end the BS. But membership really really spoiled them. They didn’t value it at all and still aren’t ready.
The latter sentence applies to a lot of these people. They didn't know what they had until it was gone.
It occurred to me that Ukraine is fighting and dying for the likes of EU membership while certain others throw it in the rubbish bin while unironically and shamelessly trying to claim its benefits.
And Georgia is too youtu.be/phu0ypdMDFc?...
I don’t think many realize just how important the EU is now and will become in the future, especially with US struggles with authoritarianism. Timothy Snyder has alluded to this several times…that the EU is indispensable now and going forward.
Many still have no clue what they had, and lost, through Brexit. It is, however, obviously the EU's fault that they lost it. After all, the EU could have let them keep all the benefits of membership, both personally and for the UK as a whole. (With "could" doing Atlas-level heaving lifting, here.)
The EU is a convenient scapegoat. If the EU wasn’t to blame they might have to admit that they were duped and have to accept responsibility for their actions. Small people.
I’m pretty convinced many of these self proclaimed “remainers” (a stupid term to use in 2025) are more likely people who didn’t bother to vote in 2016 and completely missed/ignored all the events of 2017-19 before suddenly realising in 2021 what had actually happened
This is a salient point. Niall did mention, that she probably doesn’t follow the news. This is like Japanese soldiers of WW2 being discovered in the jungles of Iwo Jima or Okinawa in like 1955.
It would certainly explain a lot, if this was the case.
I’m convinced many still don’t realise what’s happened, otherwise we wouldn’t have all these sorry situations.
Agree. To a certain extent the UK has a consequentialless mindset. The link between cause and effect is lost. Relentless decline is felt but is accepted cos of this. "Mustn't grumble." Brexit brings consequences into stark focus. Doesn't compute. Blame forrins. Take some chuffin responsibility.
Absolutely this. We're no longer a part of the EU. It is now just as much a foreign land as the US is. Hard for many to fully appreciate the difference, if not dealing w/ trade, or considering moving elsewhere in Europe. I guess many wouldn't really notice if Scotland became independent, either.
That's what a 30 year stream of unopposed total bullshit from our press does to people. It's always easy to mobilise hate against a source of rules and bureaucracy. Far more difficult to put the positive case as more complex, and quite a dull read. But those same bullshit pushers are still there.
Yes still there and leaving wreckage in their wake. It’s a superpower. It’s the same here in the states. What’s the Mark Twain line…"a lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes"
The child now needs a visa as it's not in education. She replied to me, blaming 90/180. Hmmm. Okay. This is not an uncommon situation across. Europe: courts are full of family réunification cases and issues around dependency. I assumed they were resident under the WA 2
Either way parents and children with legal residency outside of some special cases and it shoild be okay In this case, Dr Kidd had only been in Belgium two years with her child. So the kid was clearly not long enough to be resident. She had arrived as a non-European 3
She just assumed that the law shouldn't apply to her dependants. Clearly she doesn't follow the news. But wait, maybe I wasn't getting it. Her kid's in an 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 school. She's wasn't an immigrant from the DRC or Syria or Bolivia. She was the child of an 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘢𝘵. 4
So, Dr Kidd wants her child, who is not a resident of Belgium, to live full time in Belgium. But she blames Schengen and 90/180 for her having to apply. Like any old immigrant from Morocco, Albania or Thailand (those nat. rules are for good reasons, to stop dependents being a burden on Belgium) 5
As for this, I don't know where start. But blaming 🇪🇺 for your daughter's being subject to foreign fees in the UK seems... illogical. Dr Kidd's problem is that she is not a European citizen, like the Syrian, like the Albanian, not with Schengen. 6
Dr Kidd is in a vulnerable situation. Inevitably she is targeted by the unscrupulous in my replies. No, she does not have rights. She is a third-country national who arrived after Brexit. You're just annoyed because Britons are not being treated as exceptional. 7
Europe should not have to take responsibility for every Briton for the rest of time. Dr Kidd and her kid should apply. Like everyone else. As for the individual situation, those of you who know me personally know I have extensive experience of exactly this problem. I have a lot of sympathy. 8
Dutch uncle time: if the UK ever wants to become pro-European, apply, go through A49, join, and become European again, i. Ditch the Extrawurst Großbritannien attitude, and ii. Stop listening to anti-European charlatans Ends
Might interest @julienhoez.eu @kathylove.bsky.social @kresten2.bsky.social @jjsalmo.bsky.social @janetanscombe.bsky.social @mahoganygaspipes.bsky.social @saraita101.bsky.social
PS what sympathy would there be in reverse in the UK?
Good thread Niall. I've come across this myself and my advice is 2 fold. 1. This is not an issue for the EU to solve for u. 3. Speak to an immigration lawyer.
Thank you
J’aime bien aussi le passeport de la République d’Irlande ! Et cette couleur (Burgundy, je crois ?) sied fort bien aux passeports européens. 🥸
Tour à fait
Usually when students from the international school finish their IB they enrol in a university either in BE or NL or any other country. So by continuing studying they get legal residency as they get a study visa. Once they reach the 5 years they can claim nationality. Easy!
Yep. Either way, I don't see how this can be the fault of Schengen's border rules
An easy to follow recipe…in theory 😉.
In theory
Also I doubt whether they lose home student status. If you have citizenship, that’s enough. It’s up to the parents to make the situation legal.
Exactly. I don't know how the home fees work, but I know people who've lived their whole lives in Europe that have got them, so I doubt two years is significant. Either way, hardly Schengen's fault
My own nephew being one of them. Coming to Durham next month. I think citizenship is the key.
It’s complicated, but basically they need to have lived in the UK (as citizen or permanent resident) for the three years prior to starting the course. There is an exception for UK citizens resident in the EU on 31 Dec 2020. There are some loopholes to do with property, temporary employment, etc.
Not true. My nephew has lived in France his whole life. Qualifies as home student because he has British citizenship.
It’s exceptionally difficult to assess a persons situation on rights to stay/citizenship etc on a couple of social media posts. My experience, is that most people are assessed reasonably and fairly and allowed to stay are treated as ‚own‘ not second raters as one does in the UK.
I'm not sure that's the point Andrew is making, but you should have more sympathy for @debrakidd.bsky.social situation with her daughter People are upset by 90/180 for all sorts of reasons @andrewhesselden.bsky.social
I have lots of sympathy. I hope her eventual application before the Belgian authorities succeeds. As for Andrew, he does this all the time, maliciously implying that Schengen is at fault for everyday issues.
Andrew gives his time to help British expats in difficulty.
He's a charlatan who regularly lies about out union and Brexit. He's not good.
Andrew lies, peddles fantasies, and bullies: and he’s probably his own cause’s worst enemy, because all he does is get people’s backs up.
Yet more parody. You could get a regular holiday slot at one of your beach bars as a stand-up comedian.
He is anti EU and should be banned from even visiting the EU.
That's nice. I didn't know. How is he helping British immigrants?
Goodness knows what she has done to deserve Niall’s latest pile on.
This is a failure of our negotiators and, to be honest, the EU restricting us because of Brexit. I'm sure you, me and her and as pro-EU as you'll find. Yet this is the result
And Niall is heartless. This is a British kid unable to live with her parents in Belgium.
If her daughter is affected by the 90/180d rule, that means she's basically admitting that her daughter isn't living with her, only visiting her in Belgium. The 90/180d visa waiver is only for people visiting, not for them, e.g., residing, working, or studying. A visa and permits needed for those.
They are not in the same position as part year residents. He is very confused.
But this shit has real-world consequences for real people. (And you should see Facebook and X. Everything is Europe's fault)
It is always someone else's fault @rolandmcs.bsky.social
Part time residents isn’t a thing outside his head anyway. You are either a resident or a visitor (even if you own the place you visit).
Dear me, the part year resident nonsense again🤦♂️🐸🐸🐸
It's malicious. People are constantly caught up in these lies. It would be really helpful if his colleagues could point out what's wrong with what he's doing.
Moving to Belgium with a sixteen year old, and didn’t foresee this as a problem? She really doesn’t keep up with the news, much less ask Google about the legal situation. I must admit it’s not a situation I’d like to be in. Can’t the 18yo apply for Citizenship?
Not after two years. Belgium requires a problem commitment to the state.
Thanks for the reply Niall. It’s a quandary, alright. What does Belgium recommend, do you know?
I'm assuming Dr Kidd was aware of Brexit two years ago. Which prompts the question "didn't you investigate the ramifications before you moved to Belgium?"
It is the schools' fault for not informing them, the employer's fault for not informing them, and their fault for not being suitably informed, frankly.
She's got the date wrong
😄
This is really interesting. It sees that the problem is that International school diplomas in Belgium (IB, A-levels, AP) require official équivalence/erkenning before Belgian universities accept them. This is not automatic, unlike the CESS from local schools. Hence a gap.
This gap means no immediate recognition / entry into Uni. Without immediate recognition and proof of enrolment in Belgian higher education, students cannot switch from dependent to student status at 18. This creates a legal gap that *local school* graduates avoid.
So to sum up: International school graduates face a cliff: IB/A-levels need Belgian equivalence, often delaying enrolment. Without proof of Belgian higher education, they lose status at 18 while local CESS graduates move straight into Belgian universities. Hence the problem.
How the hell is any of that the fault of Schengen, 90/180, or Europe?
It isnt
So this isnt a #Brexit issue. Aliens Act (15 Dec 1980, Art. 10): dependent residence is only for unmarried children under 18 (or disabled adults). At 18, dependent status ends automatically unless another legal ground (e.g. student permit) is secured. Belgian law + choice of school.
That claim of loss of entitlement to domestic fees is completely bogus. I say this as parent to a dual national (incl.UK) student, who moved from UK to EU in 2018 and moved back to study at UK uni in Sept 2024. I pay the uni fees, so best placed to know, considering the value differential.
She's not a burden, her mother is a teacher in an international school
Good. Then she should prove that to the authorities, like other third-country nationals
I chose to take back control by cancelling my gym membership. Now the gym have informed me that they won’t allow me to continue to use their facilities. This just proves how unreasonable the gym are, and that I was right to gymexit 🇬🇧 🤪
Ha! Joking aside, this is what they are promoting. #BlameEuropeForBrexitOutcomes
Citizenship is not a gym membership
Sadly, the majority in England voted to remove my EU citizenship, despite my country voting to utterly reject their xenophobic, Anglo-supremacist brexit. 🏴🇪🇺
You still here? Thought you left in 2014? Oh that's right, you voted to stay with England paying for your dinner. Too frit to go it alone.
It’s a great point. I don’t know why Niall has decided to victimise @debrakidd.bsky.social and her family. Some of this immigration law stuff is just ridiculous. Inhumane too.
Couldn't she apply for a student visa?
That was going to be my next suggestion: register for a full-time course in say Dutch and get a three-month visa until you've figured out how to meet the residency requirements.
Or even for a longer university or college course
From what I understand, if an *international school* student applies for a Belgian student permit before graduating and leaving school, they keep legal stay. Proof of diploma equivalence + higher-ed application lets them bridge directly from dependent to student status. BUT...
... if an *international school* student in Belgium waits until after graduating and dependent status has lapsed, they cannot stay. They must leave Belgium and apply for a student visa from grandparents' house, as no bridging right exists once dependent stay ends. Again, nothing to do with the EU.
If the non-EU child is legally resident they can apply for a student visa in-country under EU law
The case is clear and she got no case here at all. The child is not a child anymore, is an adult. They should have researched this matter before.
It's hard, of course, but no different to someone from Iraq or Kosovo in the same situation.
One thing I don't understand, assuming he or she is British why would the son or daughter not be entitled to domestic fees in the UK?
I don't get that either. But I really don't get why that is Europe's fault.
😄 Agreed
That sounds more like poor planning on her part, than anything really wrong with EU rules? Did she just assume her kids would be handed the keys to the nation and a complementary citizenship, just because they happened to be in Belgium when they turned 18? Despite having only been there 2 years?
Brexit as a macroideational process was a lot about mobilising (English) exceptionalist fantasies en masse at the individual level, & was a festival of sentimental entitlement, with space to wallow in the mud of endless petty martyrdom. Fucking passport queues. Status envy and anxiety. It had it all
She should have done more adequate research
So... her problem is that she didn't bother to find out what she/her daughter needed to do once the daughter turned 18, but instead of admitting this, she's whinging that it's the EU's fault for not... what, recognising that she's not bound by the same rules as everyone else? 🙄🤦🏻♀️😠
Broadly yes
I'm so, so tired of all these exceptionalists. UK chose to become a third country & now we have to live with the inconveniences & difficulty that causes us.
Yep. This is now the norm of a third country vis-à-vis Europe. The collective options are to apply to Europe and become citizens or don't
Exactly.
I'm surprised she's not seeing what is happening in the UK in terms of immigration and right to stay . The UK is harsher now.
Much more so. Dr Kidd is being treated fairly,like anyone else in her situation.
She is and I'm sure there is ways of getting it sorted but to think you automatically get something is bonkers.
I hooe and I'm sure she'll get sorted
Can someone explain to me the substantive difference between people like her, and people turning up in small boats on beaches in Kent?
Lack of melanin, lack of boat, lack of fecal matter in beach waters.
It's unfortunate, and I would have more sympathy if they recognised the issues in reverse. For example, the UK spouse of an EU citizen has the right to live and work in the EU. The EU spouse of a UK citizen has no right of residence in the UK.
The UK is welcoming for expats
Really?
😂😂😂😂 if you can get a job? Oh but for that you need a minimum salary! And on top pay for your visa application and IHS, the most expensive in the developed world! Welcome studying? Nah… you have to pay non-UK fees between 20-40K/year… Long term visa? Nah… Enterpreneur visa? Nah… Welcoming really!
Very much so. It gives out thousands of visas each year. I don’t agree with some of the UK’s immigration policies, though.
These are the issues affecting UK citizens that the UK government could do something about...... but they're more interested in a bit of extra wurst.
Agreed. I want to be careful harping on about UK arrangements, but it's hypocritical at a state level. Especially seeing Reform and the LDs jump on the bandwagon, demanding Britons be treated exceptionally
nationalists want harsh and strict immigration laws for everybody else, and mid-1800s immigration laws for themselves, back when passports were an option and all that was required to travel internationally was looking respectable.
Ain't that the truth. So fed up with the UK blaming Europe, rather than itself, for life outcomes.
People just want to keep their free movement.
Meet the obligations
Like get an Irish nan ?
You mean get EU citizenship. Yes that would be meeting the requirement.
Oh, yes. If you can find an Irish grandmother, then you’re all sorted as far as your obligations go. These people will get off your back then. You can spend as long as you like in your own home then. The problem is, you’ve been coasting through life with the wrong grandparents.
I also want the knee joints I had when I was 18; time not having a reverse gear is a pain but just wanting things without respecting the way the works is doesn’t actually help.
Ha!
In this case, Belgium and the EU could help, could fix things, could make your knees work, but they choose not to.
Blaming foreigners agaín
What, by breaking their own laws just because the UK is so special? Why would we want them to stop being the thing we want to be part of just to make life easier for us? If the EU is hiding a functioning time machine that’s different of course!
UK Border Force could save me 30+ min every time I cross the UK border to come back home, they could fix things by stopping their border checks. They just choose not to.
Yep, UK Border Force could just trust that the French passport kiosk at Gare du Nord scanned my passport but nooooo, they have to slow down the queue to look at my passport one more time. They could make it so much easier and they choose not to…
Not our job and no we really can’t fix the problems made by the UK. Nor should we even try.
I minded to agree. People keep reminding us that the ball is in the EU court and the EU holds all the cards. Perhaps it’s time to deploy some of them in a humanitarian way. That’s not to say I do not think the UK government could do a lot to help the matter, yet they do nothing too.
That is the level of understanding most British people had, which was instilled by a body of literature written by an aristocracy used to getting their own way. They did not understand that other countries had immigration laws, nor imagine they could ever run afoul of them.
They act as if immigration laws are for other people. Not white Anglo-Saxons.
As a peace-loving Angle, I resent being lumped in with those Saxon warmongers 😉 But seriously. This thinking was cultivated by the British Establishment. The working class were always encouraged to imagine they were the aristocracy, in order to lay guilt on them for the crimes of the aristocracy.
British people had internalised a bunch of dangerous falsehoods about how the world worked. And while the blame for that belongs squarely on successive British governments, it must also be said that the British government has historically always been hostile to the people.
But if someone has been in an abusive relationship, manipulated into believing untruths for the convenience of their abuser, you can't really blame them for that. Victims of abuse sometimes need special treatment because of the damage done to them by their abuse.
You cannot just put a normal meal in front of a person who has been systematically malnourished ed for years and expect them to eat it and recover. If they haven't the energy to digest solid food, if their digestive systems are not ready to handle it, it could kill them.
That was, metaphorically, the state in which "Sun"-reading Britons were placed on 23 June 2016. Asked to make a decision, not only without the mental wherewithal to understand its likely consequences, but with heads full of comforting lies about those consequences.
You are talking about England here not ‘Britons’. The culture and history elsewhere is different. That’s why they voted for something different. In 2019 the Scottish Sun backed the SNP. They want to sell papers.
Every Scot I know voted remain, and had no illusions about turning up in Calais and claiming no gentleman carried a passport. Little Englanders have been embarrassing us for too long.
I blame tfump. He came in just after and reneged on all the deals Obama made. Put the blame where it belongs.
The US was not involved in this at all.
What can I say? Maybe just meet the criteria of Belgium!! We, the xenophobic UK, voted to become an isolated third party country, be poorer, have prices rise, exporting to our biggest trade partners to be more difficult and travel to become more painful. And our pathetic corrupt govt loved it. 🤷♂️
Just enrol her in a BSc at the ULB, will solve the problem. Studying is cheap here and she gets a student visa.
The problem Dr. Kidd raises is not an EU issue. It's a problem with the withdrawal agreement. It might have been addressed if the UK side had realised that the separation agreement was in fact far more complex than they were prepared to negotiate. The talk of "hard Brexit" comes to mind.
I don't agree. There was never a possibility of Britons keeping European citizenship. That was a fantasy. This is what Brexit meant and always meant.
Well. I remember the meaning of brexit studiously being kept vague and the Norway option being on the table for those who might be tempted.
There was never an option in law to stay in the single market. Every time British voters voted, they go Ed to leave all UK institutions. Some lies from Michael Gove or JR Mogg don't replace treaty law
I think Dan Hannan deserves a mention here.. but granting your premise, I think we differ on whether to blame voters or campaigners here. Also, politically, if UK had come asking for Norway instead of whatever this is, IMO EU27 would’ve bit their hand off (because brexit hurts us too)
I doubt it. It would have been politically impossible for a UKG to meet the requirements of EEA at that time, and it would have led to rancœur. Either way, the UK "had to" leave all the institutions And EEA would not have given citizenship to Britons
As far as I know voters deliver the verdict: no one else! The lack of critical thinking & lack of interest in anything that takes an effort is typical I noticed over the years.
I don't think Dr Kidd is referring to citizenship. It's more to do with residency for minors who turn 18. Something that could have been hammered out in the withdrawal agreement, because it can affect UK citizens in EU as well as EU citizens in UK.
But it's nothing to do with the WA. This is entirely under Belgian law.
Exactly. Boris screwed us. All Brits should have been protected.
No, Britons voted for this
And why are we responsible for all Britons for the rest of time?
It’s a real problem and great point. I wonder what the EU would do with Hungary if the rights of citizens are threatened. But everyone thought: oh it’s the UK; they won’t be doing anything immoral and harmful to their own people. But they did.
Have read her posts. It is a sad position to be in for any parent, but she's obviously an intelligent woman, so I don't understand why she didn't realise/take this into consideration when she moved. It's not like the EU has suddenly changed its rules. It seems she is upset about her own life choices
I feel for her. It's not an easy situation (she will get through it) Friends of mine from the Middle East and N America working for an international organisation went through it recently when their daughter turned 18. They got a visa for the Netherlands and began citizenship applications.
Blaming Schengen is extraordinary. The issue is not so much her life choices, although it is that, as her being treated like any common or garden immigrant
Have no idea re. The Netherlands, but if she has only been there for 2 years, is the citizenship route even open for her daughter? If you plan to emigrate, there are a lot of things you need to take into consideration.
No, it's not. You need the minimum no of years, so she'll need a permit until she gets there.
That's what I imagined.
This is a monumental level of lack of planning, and bordering on child neglect. I allowed for a year of preparations when I decided I had to leave the UK, not to mention serious lawyer fees, to ensure my plans didn't run into any snags. And that was just to sort me and my cat out properly.
Question: were children eligible for settled statute under WA in their own right? Or did they hold it through their parents?
Good question. @stevepeers.bsky.social
The withdrawal agreement protected family members too, as defined in free movement law - ie children under 21 or dependent. Also it provides for the right to switch status, so a UK citizen family member could become a worker or student
Excellent.
i. My understanding is Dr. Kidd (and her children) are 🇬🇧 cits, so Settled Status (which is a status for EU cits in 🇬🇧) is not applicable. ii. If you mean "the equivalent of Settled Status in Belgium,whatever it's called",they moved to 🇧🇪 2yrs ago (in 2023 or so) so they are not covered by the W/A. 1/2
iii. If it's a generic question about Settled Status in the UK unrelated to Dr. Kidd, then yes, children of EU citizens in the UK had to apply (them or through their parents) for (pre-) SS and were eligible for it under the same terms as adults. www.gov.uk/settled-stat...
So yes, it was a general question unrelated to the specific point under discussion, and I meant settled status, or the equivalent in EEA countries…
I would call it temporary (less than 5 years)or permanent (5+years) residency covered by the WA, but I got what you meant by settled status.
I would have thought in their own right, at least in some cases, as there were some kids in care in the UK and an article about who was supposed to apply for their settled status. However, I have no idea.
It's a good example. I would have thought in general it was dependent. In France kids in general have their status dependent on their parents, and so can't become resident separately until 18. But I just don't know.
Yes, my initial thought was the same as yours. Thinking about it, there was also a case in Italy of a British child whose parents had died, but I don't know/can't remember how it was resolved.
Its not really even EU rules. She is an immigrant to Belgium and not a visitor to the Schengen area.
Her daughter is a trans minority student as stated in the timeline. That will surely have made 'life choices' as to where her child lives far more difficult than most average parents - bearing in mind how hostile the UK is to this harmless minority subject to a warped genitalia obsessive crusade.
From her timeline she is obviously scared witless about the threat of having to return to a country ruled by tomb-stone hearted bigoted politicians. I expect this must have escalated the the stress to undue levels irrespective of what her Mum should/should not have investigated.
And which so many have already pointed out. She is intelligent. I don't see her blaming Schengen whatever the reason for the oversight. Just scared & very anxious.
She doesn't come across as a "bad actor" to me. Credit to the girl who has integrated, despite her minority status & can speak French fluently already. That would not be possible in hostile anti immigrant/trans/disabled UK where the encouragement & initiative to learn another language is AWOL.
And a lot more than can be said for the average feckless little England grifter whining about residency etc on here Before I get shot I palpably get the question of why the situation wasn't clarified in advance so please no-one reiterate all the rules etc it *appears* she *should* have made sure of.
From social media we cannot know all the facts about individuals lives. Suffice to say the ones disclosed in this case make it an even more difficult to navigate one than many who have no excuses at all. I am going to differ & be a bit kinder than has been demonstrated on here.
Thank you Tamara.
De nada.💁♀️ I usually agree with most respondents on these threads but anyone dealing with injustices, fear & repression & clearly has already embraced EU life will not get my own backlash of "blame the EU" accusations which alas can sometimes be too harsh in selection (aside from the true grifters)
I do hope everything works out for you.😊 Boa sorte.
Thank you. It's been a bit weird seeing a lot of "I'm alright Jacks" leaping on to make assumptions when all I actually said to Niall was that not all people impacted by the 90/180 day rule were somehow wanting to break the law. Perhaps they can't read properly.
Good point Tamara. I can't disagree. It definitely makes the personal situation sadder.
Thanks Sarah. Exactly. The personal situation here is up against & touches directly upon some of the ugliest aspects of post truth populist Brexit Britain which seeks to divide, conquer & sustain itself through picking & obsessing over innocent scapegoats.
I cannot be part of a critical personal kind of pile-on set against that background & in those circumstances. Applying in any case whether it is disabled, migrants, foreigners or trans minorities etc. Why else do I live in Portugal & disassociate from those repugnant Brexit values.
Even more reason for her to have taken her situation seriously and made preparations even before she actually moved, never mind invested time in dotting t:s and dashing i:s once there?! Who in their right mind would have put it off until after her kid turned 18, and then just tried to wing it?
I wrote several paragraphs outlining the issues. All the more reason, irrespective of alleged judgmental condemnation of pre-planning, why she should not be lumped in with the Hesselden's of this world. Which you also are evidently clearly keen to do.
This does not sound like someone who would browbeat Schengen to me - clearly embraced the benefits of EU life vs myopic Brexity UK that shuts down people's horizons. I am therefore not joining in the Hesselden style finger wagging I have said all I am going to say on this. bsky.app/profile/debr...
Her and her daughter's situation is quite different from, and much more sympathetic than, Hesselden's, but there still exists overlap. Ask yourself how a similar account would have been met if, instead of EU MS Belgium, she'd worked/lived in US State Iowa, w/ a kid turning 18 after two years there?
Nobody would be surprised that, unless carefully handled in advance, there would be hard-to-overcome problems. Nor where responsibility ultimately lies. Even w/o the added issues of the trans situation (in UK & US), I'd have sympathy for kid & mom. But, esp. now, migration req. planning ahead.
We didn't "wing it" - we were given inaccurate information by a relocation company. Nor did we know when we moved that our daughter would fall in love with the country, or that in our absence, the one she left would become too dangerous for her to return to.
I've had that happen - the bad info - and it sucks. I nearly ended up deported from the US. The university screwed up, and then the US embassy didn't catch it, and big mess. Lived under deportation threat for months, while scrambling for graceful exit. Winging it doesn't even begin to cover it.
I guess the difference between me and you is that I'm not going to judge you.
Not my fault, but still my responsibility to stick to the rules, and rules not to blame. While the UK has become a lot less hospitable, aren't you exaggerating the danger? If really that urgently dangerous in UK, wouldn't she qualify for asylum? Migration is serious, many confuse want w/ need.
Oh and another difference. I'm not arrogant enough to assume I understand your situation better than you are.
The situation for trans people, as I understand it, and from accounts on here of quite a few desperate enough to find a way to leave the UK is as bad as the migrants & small boats obsession & persecution.
Against the backdrop of a soulless UKGOV determined to carbon copy the worst dregs of Reform inhumanity, I would say that the UK is full-on for a Trump replica. With all that in mind, I for one can appreciate the immense fear. And your daughter seems to have settled so well in Belgium.
I truly am utterly shocked at what keeps unfolding in the UK. I have people to think of who are set to be in the firing line. Including my Portuguese friend living in the UK who has special needs children.
Hello, "she" here. Yes you're right. I am an intelligent woman who should have been able to read into the future and know that we would have such a transphobic government in the UK that my daughter's right to healthcare, accessing toilets and wellbeing would be removed while we were away.
As I said that's sad, but I was referring to the rules re. your daughter being able to stay in Belgium, not transphobia in the UK.
You were making assumptions about what I'd originally said, who I was blaming and making judgements about my ability to see into the future. Run along and patronise someone else now - if you can see properly from the peak of that mountain of privilege you're sitting on.
She’s been horrible to me too
I don't know who she is or what is missing in her life to make her want to poke her fingers in other people's wounds, but some people are just like that. Better ignored.
Life's a bit of a bitch, unfortunately democracy allowed the brexiters to fuck up her right to a family life. Including that of her children. And when the EHRC goes......
Her right to a family life hasn't changed, both under European law and under the ECHR. But she needs to prove that to the Belgian authorities. There is no automatic right. And. Belgium has the right, at base, to refuse entry.
Belgium is one of the worst countries to register, they are a pain, but she is already in so enrolling in an uni, ULB or Leuven will be easy. The authorities won’t do many Qs about it as it’s her right to continue studying here when she got her IB.