I don't think this is a hot take but maybe a minority opinion, but most people are choosing to have no kids or fewer kids for reasons outside of money. And some of that is selfishness because having kids is hard (I say that as someone who didn't want more than one cause I ain't built for it lol)
Which is why there has never been a government program that successfully produced a population-wide boost in fertility. We just have to adapt to population loss; we can't reverse it.
some of it is just having kids later, which is sometimes a financial choice but not necessarily about the cost of kids either.
It's more of sacrificing your quality of life than necessary your ability to make ends meet
And sometimes, we just hate children.
Fair lol
One thing I noticed, being childless, is that parents today tend to be occupied for entire weekends and year round with sports/activities. When I was a kid, nothing took a whole weekend. You never practiced anything every day. And there were gaps. 1/
But today there are full weekend long swim meets, track meets, tournaments, year round daily practices (sometimes 2x a day!). My parents were great. But parents from that generation weren’t giving up nearly the time parents today do. 2/
Besides, where are all those grown kids going to work?
choosing to not have children bc you don't want that life isn't selfish, unless you also think "going to college," for example, is selfish
making choices for your life is only selfish if you already have kids you ignore
It's a legitimate tradeoff and folks just have to recognize that there isn't a way to have it all.
One of my gay buddies was wondering if he could somehow balance having a kid and still being the kind of circuit party boy/travels to FIP/Ptown multiple times a year guy he is, and the answer is no. It just isn't. Not unless you're basically letting a nanny or grandparents raise your child for you.
(And I feel this is a uniquely tough trade for a lot of gay men who might be interested in having kids because a lot of us don't even really get to experience our young/hot/free days until our 30s, although that's changing now that folks are freer to come out earlier.)
I mean it is, in that there's no shortage of distant straight parents who have done this for millennia as nobility. But not at anything resembling a significant proportion because $$$. And I guess modern ethics.
As my Mother-in-Law used to say, “Having Kids is for Kids.” You generally need a combination of youthful energy & naïveté to dive into it headlong. Watching my Brother-In-Law & Sister-in-Law raising two single-digit-aged boys at 50 really bangs that home while our kids are already out of the house 👍
Odds are decent that if he did have kids he’d no longer *want* to do that but that’s kind of a gamble, lots of people understandably unwilling to gamble like that!
Yeah, for me, it was basically, "I'm over this. Can't see myself doing this until I'm 50. Time to have a kid." But even then, you kind of miss it once you're off the ride, and that's normal. There's no perfectly clear choice, which unsettles people.
I remember getting to work and seeing my best friend and coworker looking like this after 6 months of dealing with his kid not sleeping through the night, and that was probably what sealed it for me lol
You mean like they dont wanna have kids because of the state of things politically or even ecologically, ect?
No, I think having kids is just a huge lifestyle change that a lot of people no longer see as fulfilling or worth the sacrifice, especially in the context of so much choice.
I mean I never had any I wish I would've tbh. I find it interesting that birth rates are declining mostly worldwide tho. It's not great! But ya it's a massive sacrifice.
Honestly I don’t think doing what makes you happy is selfishness as long as it’s not hurting others. And yes I completely agree it’s not just financial. My sister has plenty of money but is quite content with a dog as her only “kid” :)
I don’t know why this take upsets people so much because it’s obviously true
I think because it's a lot more unsolvable than "give people healtchare" and it sounds like an attack on people for choosing not to have kids for personal reasons