alright I'm done goodnight y'all
Queer, bi, br*tish, cis, lefty, extremely hot, ENM, he / him 🏳️🌈⛓️🍉⬆️economist | researcher | nsfw | sorry for the replyguying too h*rny for polisky, too political for h*rnysky
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alright I'm done goodnight y'all
so many of you remaining quiet, afraid to be controversial, unsure of what the woke take is. your silence about my dickposting will not be forgotten
[my gf] yeah drop by but just FYI I'm not really dressed I'm just in yoga leggings and an old t-shirt [me, breathing so heavily it sounds like a jet engine] oh okay no problem
listen you guys don't seem to be hornyposting through it, it's like you don't want to hear about my dick at all??
BREAKING NEWS: A 6-year-old boy is floating away in a hot air balloon. Watch live: www.cnn.com/live
"you don't have to post" I mean first of all how dare u, and second of all how else would people know about my dick
thank you, this is the energy we need at all times. May my dick be as popular and beloved as Poochie
Will say though absolutely perfect time for us to have a totally unimpeachable and scandal free ambassador to the US
I feel uncomfortable when thing are not about my dick
anyway enough about that, back to posting about my dick
Me: "Political crisis in the US could look a lot like the violence in Northern Ireland during the Troubles" The News: "US conservative commentator shot in Utah" Me: "Oh, what city?" The News: "Provo".
"no I mean abou-" About how huge it is? Yeah I just told you
"have you seen the news?" Oh you mean about my massive hog?
anyway enough about that, back to posting about my dick
[also just FYI there are some extremely graphic vids being circulated by people without tags and warnings, would avoid clicking on stuff because some are genuinely up close and brutal]
ofc the real freak version is "sorry I'm drenched in sweat having just finished hot yoga" but you're not ready for that
[holding back from saying so many things that would get me banned] oh...what a shame
[my gf] yeah drop by but just FYI I'm not really dressed I'm just in yoga leggings and an old t-shirt [me, breathing so heavily it sounds like a jet engine] oh okay no problem
[Peter Mandelson's next announcement] Humbert Humbert was a very charming and erudite man, and I unfortunately fell for his explanations about his wife's death and relationship with Dolores, I regret being associated with him
accusing someone of stealing pervert-valour
taking a sip of coffee before I log on for my first day as Peter Mandelson's "don't be best friends with a fucking nonce" advisor, wish me luck!
[guy trying to be woke] they shouldn't let women be Deputy Labour Leader because they already do enough underappreciated labour ✊😔
she sure was. I'm so glad she's found a really cool artistic space
what if we kissed during the Deputy Labour Leadership race? 🥺🥺🥺
it's me, I'm richer in friends
ugh this is so disgusting, trying to arrange for him to mee that awful criminal who everybody hates??? poor Epstein
you engineered bluesky to create bookmarks just to create this trap didn't you
unironically think performing hotness is more important than any beauty standard etc.
we simply love to see it
queen
[Max Bialystock voice] i'm adapting Harry Potter with an all AI cast,
wild that MP3 is an audio file, MP4 is a video file, but MP5 is a submachine gun. Digimon-ass evolution line.
noticed that a lot of you haven't been bookmarking my posts - are you not saving them to reread and appreciate me when I'm not posting?
we must retvrn
making my friends secure 5 nominations to run for Official Best Friend
can I say something everybody is gonna hate me for...
"are you an ass or tits man?" I'm a *mind* man And also both
I'm actually the most feminist thing a man can be (a slut)
this is what my birthdays presents look like
I think we're about two days away from "we didn't even know that being a nonce was a bad thing back then"
sorry but I can't see Mandelson's name without hearing Mandelson Mandelson Mandelson a la Mandelbaum in Seinfeld
Deputy Labour Leader is what I call myself when my wife is giving birth
Deputy Labour Leader is what I call myself when my wife is giving birth
recession indicator
looking forward to reading the business case for the UK Gov chisselling the Banksy off the wall and selling it, thus having Banksy essentially directly funding the MoJ
yeah because I've been draining 'em
The greatest exchange in comics interview history still belongs to Jack Kirby
we love a happy ending
god damn
him fumbling you being his own 9/11
thank u
literally me as a kid cheating, then letting a friend score or get a round win just to throw 'em off
As a fan of jellyfish
I do need to follow more unhinged Australians to give my early morning timeline more fun
The image that inspired my most popular comic.
sorry for replying with my ass pics to your political posts 😔
people joke about adhd poster brain but it's genuinely fucked up to be cumming your brains out and still have half your brain free associating like a pinball machine
I don't need circles or private accounts on here because I can just get my insanity out at 6am before most normal people are awake
when will they invent Bisexual 2
it's pre-elvanse posting hours
a major fetish for not appearing vulnerable ever
It's Wednesday, it's 6am, and I am so horny I may die
as a northerner I fucking hate it when anyone does it tbh, like maybe some people pronounce it that way but we don't spell it that way! we're not speaking Scots or Welsh or something, it's the same language JK Rowling obviously a major criminal here too
I do find it slightly funny when people are like "but you're a cis dude why do you know so much about transitioning" and it's like babe shit happens when you date trans men and women!
silence prude, a hornyposter is speaking
nothing wrong with being a size queen
who is Sebastian Lecornu and what is his net worth
problematic woulds are simply being honest
yes yes I belong to the flaccid left *aide whispers in my ear* oops sorry I meant the soft left
starting a big-dick themed restaurant called Hogs
HOT WOMAN: (has any opinion whatsoever) ME: (bravely) She’s right!
welcome to autumn, may I introduce you to the inherent subtle eroticism of the woollen scarf
Guy who thinks bimbo and himbo are related to yimby and nimby
ugh stop being so hornier-than-thou
Nepal,[a] officially the Federal Democratic Republic of Nepal,[b] is a landlocked country in South Asia. It is mainly situated in the Himalayas, but also includes parts of the Indo-Gangetic Plain. It borders the Tibet Autonomous Region of China to the north, and India to the south, east, and west wh
Nice empire of dirt, dude. It would be a shame if I could have it all
[rushes in out of breath] has anybody done a 'me and my friends would've killed that guy with hammers I tell you that much' for this yet??
dude you are on a generational posting streak!! [derogatory]
me: hehe I am never beating the allegations! my lawyer: ffs shut the fuck up
I don't like Silksong, it insists upon itself
because I'm not hot 😔😔😔
sorry to report ❤️
glad to see we've got Have I Got News For You writers in the replies and quote tweets here
Well you're brave for risking diarrhoea tbf
"oh but his horrific policies of xyz" listen up bucko I'm not French I don't need to care about that
once Macron goes we can also all admit that he's a hard 'would' right?
this is actually what brought down the French government
curb episode where larry gets dragged to a birthday party for a guy he doesn't know and decides to write something funny in the guestbook. cut to present day, larry's at home watching the evening news: "comedian larry david wrote 'happy birthday, i know your little secret' in jeffrey epstein's book"
you're so right bestie (that's another of my go tos)
friendship is easy it is simply replying "let's fucking gooooooo" or "we're so back" to all their good news
excellent photo, peak revolutionary art
ate way too much for lunch and now I feel sick why would they do this to me
there is no escape
no but it speaks to me on a deep, deep level. Thank u
always nice for the old B-plots to get wrapped up in later seasons
looking forward to reading the business case for the UK Gov chisselling the Banksy off the wall and selling it, thus having Banksy essentially directly funding the MoJ