Seething at the impending seasonal appropriateness of my neighbor's Halloween perma-decorations
that polyamorous moment when your gf sleeps with someone else, so now there's a power imbalance you can only fix by saying you did too 😭
call her trump the way she's having a stroke we mustn't tell anyone about
the worthless assfuck who corrected me when I called tomorrow “Memorial Day”:
"Even this?" asked the Tenderfoot, holding back tears. "Especially this," whispered the Scoutmaster. As the flames rose, the boy began to smile. "Now spit on it," hissed the Scoutmaster. "No..." the boy protested. For he had already started to piss.
one legitimately cool thing about Boy Scouts is how they let us burn the flag as part of the Free Speech Merit Badge
actually disgusting that on top of everything else, Taylor had to post THIS
nowhere is Gen Z's timid (and reactionary !) sexual politics more evident than on Tinder. 10 years ago, 18-20 year olds responded to me *fairly often*. now they almost never even swipe right. like, why are you even on here ?
Thank you for proving my point
you do you and i won't comment on it; i'd appreciate the same courtesy. (even if i do have far less reason to form any opinions about you)
afaik they don't, which is why i said it—to be goofy :P
I'm an introvert and don't enjoy too much chit chat. Fuck me I guess ?
funny though that would have been, my main goal was to make it look like the Grindr logo
1.4k Likes... I've gone "Bluesky viral"
I hate when the doctor comes in and proceeds to wash his hands. Like wtf were you just touching.
I'm PhD in graphic design and Cracker Barrel's REAL problem is they didn't go *far enough*
I wish when the pilot said "This is your captain speaking", we could all scream in unison: "These are your passengers listening!"
If you could remove 1 letter from any state name and everyone had to go along with it, what would it be?
i actually don't think SA is that bad. def better than Dallas or Houston
share a piece of woke about yourself that had you like this at your high school
holy shit i've gone "Bluesky Viral"
I love writing mental reviews of friends like some kind of friendship connoisseur. "She always makes her feelings known, but never makes them anyone else's problem."
"I can't swim I forgot my swimsuit" Your mind is a cage now strip to your underwear
No one would pretend to hate Brutalism if it had a softer, cuddlier name
Once you know about the "14 words" dogwhistle it's insane how often you notice someone using it
Intrusive thoughts are nothing to be ashamed of. 94% of people get them! Movie screenings should include a moment to act on our intrusive thoughts beforehand. Get them out of our system, so we can settle in and enjoy the movie.
so obnoxious when people assume my feeder fetish means I can't be a good person. like, I iterally volunteer at the soup kitchen
The same obsession with authenticity informed Kechiche's decision not to hire an intimacy coordinator for the 10 days it took to film all the sex scenes, as well as not tell the actors when exactly the cameras were filming, even when they asked. That was the real deal!
So what gives? Although it makes little sense in English, it's actually just a direct translation from French!—"Le Bleu est une couleur chaude". Obsessed with authenticity, director Abdellatif Kechiche (he/him) insisted on preserving this translation for international audiences.
Okay, I've collected myself. Now let's talk about that hair on Emma (21). It's the titular "warmest color", right? Wrong. Not only does that designation belong to yellow-orange—blue is actually the *coldest color*!
How about a quick break from all the color theory to appreciate Emma's "fuck me" eyes? Is there a lesbian on earth who hasn't practiced these in the mirror? 😅 It's no wonder Adèle (15) couldn't resist.
Every lesbian remembers the tickle in her panties the first time she saw that 14-minute sex scene. But as this color wheel demonstrates, the "warmest color" is actually much closer to *yellow-orange*.
"Blue is the Warmest Color" is widely accepted as the greatest lesbian film of all time. But from a color theory standpoint, its title makes little sense. A THREAD:
I love shaking hands with a "left handed" person. Like that's right bitch, right hand out, them's the rules 😏
'Eww she fucking the weed man for weed' - a bitch that's fucking the Love, Mutual Respect & Authentic Connection man for Love, Mutual Respect & Authentic Connection
(gnostic youth pastor) Thanks for that, Kai! Yup, some of our princex parts only tingle *after* emotionally bonding with someone. Speaking of, I know another kind of "demi urge"...
For sale: baby shoes, very worn. My husband was a tiny footed freak who died scampering around
48 hrs later no response is actually unhinged 🙃
any tips on how to give a single fuck about anyone on bluesky
How must I degrade myself to go "Bluesky viral"
Last week, my gf and I co-decided to let her end our relationship. Today, I was horrified by what I found on her computer: that her end of this co-decision was made under the sycophantic influence of ChatGPT. I never thought AI-induced psychosis would touch MY life. I was naive.
Something similar happens with text gen. *Just thinking of* the prompt can sometimes make me instantly get hit with around 3-5 sentences of more or less decent quality output. I type it out pretty effortlessly too, am I just *that* LLM-ified? 😅 Neuroplasticity FTW!
Someone should study how diving into AI makes us absorb its capabilities. When I hit ~50k image prompts, I noticed something insane: Simply *thinking of* a prompt would cause images to "appear" in my mind. I can't really explain, but it's like I "see" it MENTALLY—without seeing it visually.
One of the most insidious ways men take up space is by whistling.
people seem fixated on him passing away "after his final concert". is that not just what happens by definition?
I hate how "cancelled" now gets used to just mean "will not take place", "taken off the air", etc. even when it's not a result of someone doing something cancellable. like no, your show was not "cancelled", they just *ran out of money and had to stop* 🙃
it's funny when someone learns japanese. all that work and literally no one cares
my therapist just blew my mind. "relationships are like games. if someone cheats, that means the rules were unfair." THANK YOU. 😭
Shit's less subversive than normative sex, but more off-putting to invoke outta nowhere. Always just a way of saying "I have no idea where I might belong in the sexual matrix". Understandable, but emotionally stunted.
Nothing screams "3 years HRT" like jumping to ostentatiously reference a kink you supposedly have. Like, replying "get so hard i pass out" to any mention of sisters/feet/puppies/etc.—kinks few people arrive at except by mimicking others (most of whom are also faking it).
nowhere is poor spiritual hygiene more legible than in someone's tolerance for graphic violence in entertainment
As a 5th grade math teacher, I don't teach PEMDAS—"Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally". We don't know what microaggression your "dear" aunt committed, but we DO know "excuse" is just "enable" in the language of the oppressor. So I teach *PEMDAS*—"Please EDUCATE My Dear Aunt Sally".
Twitter fame is the closest a trans woman can get to feminine sexuality. Blinded by seenness; ravaged by the seeing ether, that octopus lover on a Japanese woodblock—Ah! Whence each wet caress, each 'Like'! Am I a woman? I am the no-thing squirming under each suctioncup kiss ! 😀
Is it just me, or are zoomers having less sex than we did? Every one of our interns just dissociates into that "COVID stunted me" stare whenever I ask about the last time they got laid
Sorry if you already saw this on Twitter. My girlfriend makes me copy+paste stuff over here so her SJW friends can see it
forgot i posted this here and a couple people are mad so here's a little "Behind the Post"
so... a college acquaintance (a stretch) is putting me up on my visit to NYC. whole night/morning she proceeds to sleep with her literal door wide open. like ?? no worries, guess I'll just feel uncomfortable every second of my stay ! 🙃
If you ever pretended to be anything as a child, that was gender dysphoria. Just channeled into a cisnormative outlet.
Was cooking dinner with my gf and the gas was set lower than I thought it was. And she was like, "You put it that low." My response: "You're GAS LIGHTING me" 😅 like the manipulation tactic, but in this case about a *literal gas light*. Yup, she giggled...
(20 mins after taking aсid with friends) Just a heads up, I always like. *freak out* the first few hours, haha. Here, hold onto these zip ties
Sorry for my absence here. I've been forgetting to copy and paste my Tweets over here because Bluesky users' Likes mean nothing to me
I fucking dare you to say something that implies you don't understand how clicker training works. I dare you to reveal that you think the clicker means "no". Or that the click comes *after* the desired behavior. Fucking craving this.
that ARFID reluctance to reciprocate oral 😭
klarna got my sinkwad ass zirping bogo labubus 😭
Literally who the fuck are you
oh lol i never much was one for book learning
not at all—self deprecation is a foundational personality trait to the basic white dude
"should I get a PhD" worry first about the pH of your D
(on phone with poison control) then why are they called 'succulents' dipshit
Everyone knows to use alt text for images. But do you include *alt images* with text? It takes 15 seconds to paste your post into an image generator, but makes a world of difference to users whose accessibility needs make text without images hard to understand.
If you were truly "sorry", you would not have done the thing that necessitated your apology in the first place.
stupid how unrequited love is thought to subject the lover to some special suffering. it's far more miserable to be its object! so i don't love you back—do you know how lucky you are that your pain hurts you? how painful it is that what pains me doesn't hurt me at all?
Support Detrans Art. For multiple months, trans ideology convinced me I could feel "normal" in panties. But once I awoke from indoctrination, panties again became what they truly are: my erotic prison. Now, I aspire to envision my escape. "Shackled by Panties", photograph, 2025
1% of vapes should emit a single putrid puff at random. Imagine the camaraderie. You see a man doubled over on the sidewalk, retching. You clap him on the shoulder: "Hit a dark cloud, eh? There, there... today you; tomorrow me." You hold him in your arms
The Ramones Incel JarJar Binks 🤝 I wanna beesa dated
I hate how the term "cancelled" gets so overused. Just heard someone say some TV show was "cancelled"... I looked it up and no one did anything cancellable they literally just *ended* it 🙃
I thought the band was called "The December Wrists" and it was no fap november thing
had a dream that my dog took me to be euthanized
doing the 100 Men Challenege but with women and instead of sex it's my INFJ smirk
that sigh of relief when i worry i'm being trolled but then the bio has this
All the stupider bc *dictionaries* no longer treat dictionaries like the Bible
financing my treatlerism with ku klux klarna
(Returning to date after embarrassingly long bowel movement) Sorry that took a while haha I'm like. Super dehydrated? So my pee was kinda thick, came out real slow like a tree sap taffy. Forgot my scissors so I had to pull it all out real careful. Anyway, how was the lobster?
As a trans language nerd, I envision a future where we gender-inflect verbs, adj's & ALL pronouns. I hate questions like "Can you hear me?"—I can never truly know if they meant "you (female)". Inflecting into something like "Can youa heara meo?" would validate me AND the (in this case, male) speaker
oh my god
Hm. Interesting. Would you make a *сis* girl wear a condom? 🤔
My "9/11" actually happened ON 9/11. 2001, to be exact. Likewise, my "Roman Empire" spanned from the Euphrates to Hadrian's Wall. I am quite at home in reality.
one cool thing about writing is how every second of it is miserable unless you suck at it
And the next pope is... Another straight white сis male. Color me shocked.
you ever get secondhand gender dysphoria
thoughts on lingerie
We assume "an" arose as a variation of "a", because it's used less frequently (before words beginning with vowels). But "an" came first! We started omitting the N before words beginning with consonants around the 13th century.