Show me on this cat calendar the last time you got laid.
I'm a 40+ year old retired IT husband that enjoys #cooking, #writing, and bad #jokes. I'm in Florida, but I'm not "Florida Man"...yet... https://athlonrhythm.blogspot.com Feed: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sppkrdb2buszeswki7om655q/feed/aaaphve27t2ti
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Show me on this cat calendar the last time you got laid.
Printing my skeets to sell to the Amish
"Extended family" is English for "network of people disappointed in you."
small feathers say yes because they are down
Hey bestie can I get a ride to the river so I can go magnet fishing? You can sit and hang out while I do. Now @alansmitheejr.bsky.social is in the water with my magnet. I guess I better get a second one.
Finally reached the age where having no filter is expected
Stay hydrated y'all! 😋😂
Who am I to judge? Me. That's who I am.
I’m not posting a picture for September. I’m not giving into the black magic of Bluesky.
talk to the beans 🖤
Taste a bit nutty...
Hot apple cider with cinnamon's dick.
Skeeters giving that little wave and head nod as they pass each other on the timeline.
Personal reasons for deleting a shitpost: - typo or extra space - too many words - it shows a side of me that isn't silly - it's hurtful to read for people with a butthole
Dolphin therapy? Don't make me laugh! These mammals would rather rescue a drowning teenager than go to therapy!
Carrying a conversation counts as cardio
I have quite a few funny people I follow that I'm sad don't follow me back. Then I realized why... It's because I skeet about buttholes a lot. It's hard being rad.
#winning
I’m happy you are here :)
If anyone sees my motivation running around, please send its ass home! Have shit to do!
Pee the po.
I got you, baby. 🩷
In this house it’s been Halloween since July
It’s been Halloween for a while btw
why do good people go through horrible stuff but literal demons walking around us n they’re fine
*Pat Benetar voice*
Sometimes, ya just gotta work blue.
Happy Labour Day. youtube.com/watch?v=_XN7...
alternate reality where PC mice are dicks click click, honey! come quick my mouse is leaking again!
i used to put ketchup on mac & cheese if you’re looking for a girl with a refined palate
Here are some more betterer skeetsmiths....shitposters if you will.
Hoping everything is okay on your end.
Anyone: Bluesky is so boring, nothing ever happens here. That’s why I rarely drop by Me: what feeds are you following Anyone: what’s a feed
Same.
I get nothing except from my proctologist...
It hates when I interrupt their Gilmore Girls viewing.
"No teeth!"
Better than the grave
I hope not. I need my daily fiber.
Dyson did it for $2...
Why I'm on the couch tonight.
I would read off all my meds, but it summons a very cranky demon.
Returning a Dyson Ball Cleaner...misleading name...
neighborhood beware, the decor of spooky time is now
I almost took his eye out...
Someone brought sexy back, and it's not Justin.
The pills are helping...
Besides "Don't be an asshole".
Until there's a Klondike bar involved...
Got a few winks from Gertrude...
I never have good skeets. I have dribbles of random words.
I'm here to make people smile or roll eyes.
Apparently shouting that at least a broken vacuum sucks now and then draws a crowd within Target.
It probably wasn't that bad.
the second worst part about my last skeet was the 40 seconds it was up before I deleted it
jizzable chin ya got there, be a shame if someone missed it
Labor Day Zumba. #gymsky #cpt #zumba
youtube.com/shorts/2ffxP...
Back in my day, a shot cured "fireballs" that we got from drinking too much Jack.
It’s Labor Day- let’s see your meat!
*unfurls Mission Accomplished Banner* This is about me.
What if I told you, you can be both entertained AND educated by reading fiction from outside of your own demographic 💙📚
*fishing a multivitamin gummy out of my sports bra* Yeah, you could say I'm into health and fitness.
It’s butthole not arsehole, you asshole.
What if we kissed under the flickering florescent light in Spirit Halloween?
I hope you will call me out if ever I re/post AI content. —me—a human man—flirfing
I held my horses twice last night
I dare you to make me happy
I don’t care what you were reading -autorefresh
Nature may abhor a vacuum, but it loves a good sucking.
The proper way to set charcoal alite. Ill be taking no arguments on this.
Blocking me shrinks your dick
When I make a vow, I keep it. I vowed to expend the least amount of energy as possible today. So far so good! Convinced my brother to drop my laundry at the Wash'n'Fold AND to pick up my curbside delivery grocery order. (Fine, it cost me a case of toilet paper, but still.) :D
With sliced onion and cole slaw on white bread.
It's not a horny shitpost it's a
wife is at the rib cook off and i'm bundled up on the couch watching Osaka/Gauff maybe a pulled pork sammie will fix me?
To those people who make cool shit with emojis, keep doing that. I like it.
blocking me means I’ll gloat with satisfaction when I get the notification
“Well, you two sure didn’t let common sense, nor better judgment, stop you, huh?”
Portioning in progress
Controversial opinion (please do not block me): I do not like movie theater popcorn
[when anyone asks me to do anything] im really more of an Ideas Guy
It seems unfair to entrust me with snacks and then get upset when the snacks go missing. That's like giving a dog the marshmallow test.
Is it a good idea to hire an electrician nicknamed Sparky? Asking for a friend...
She always said, "Is that a thumb?"
Maybe...
Signs you REALLY need to start dating is when you have gone through five copies of the book "Kama Sutra For One".
I'm going to bed now. Behave!
🖤🖤🖤
August was a year of a month.
Bow chicka chicka wow wow
When in human form do werewolves still cock their leg to pee?