The other day I learned 'el pagafantas' – the guy who is always picking up the tab in the hope of getting somewhere with the girls, but is continually friendzoned. Literally it means 'pays for the Fantas'. Teenagers are brutal.
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The other day I learned 'el pagafantas' – the guy who is always picking up the tab in the hope of getting somewhere with the girls, but is continually friendzoned. Literally it means 'pays for the Fantas'. Teenagers are brutal.
Lot of old boys around today, never seen so many slazenger trainers
Who called it fighting talk not aggrocultural language
I work on farm, farm grow fruit
Make it a legal requirement to put whatever happened to people on their gravestones because I am just generally very nosy.
Love a worker's grift, the class war economy
One of my mates on the farm is extremely mechanically-minded and fixes everything, but for the first 2 years he worked here he didn't let on, and the tractors/machines were all sent off to a local specialist company who would then pay him £££ to come up and fix them.
You're welcome
I'm not very good I just killed everyone who was better
One of the motors on the picking machine has died so extended tanning break for Ramsgate's finest ballroom dancer
no 😔
Lying down on a tilted trailer, the angle is perfect for tanning one's nostrils
I agree with him, I just have a very different set of criteria and he wouldn't like it
I’ve been meaning to post an update regarding the discrimination I faced at Specsavers in June when I attended an appointment at one of their branches for ear wax removal, and was refused treatment because I’m living with HIV
Hey fellas check this out
Ach who am I kidding
Okay last but one
Just got laughed at for having blisters??? Last time I show everyone at work my balls
I love this time of the day cos it means there's only 12-13 hours until I can stop working
I remember BFTCM with affection
I respect it
you give with one hand and take with the other
i'm taking the whole whelk experience in a new direction
it's a bit lame innit, i don't want their full address but they could at least narrow it down to a county
ooh now we're cookin
too kind, too kind 😌
whelk learly
whel done
i have a confident fear I'll remember this name forever
those birdsong apps are fine but they don't give you first names
can't sleep, worried i'll pick a shit name if they make me pope
perry's nut house, old woman in shoe, route 1, belfast, maine, 1995
not yet
there will be the way i'll do it
eating peanuts for pleasure and profit
might retrain as a whelk
The head orientation in the pfps lends to this lol.
people tut until you explain how much vintage ties go for
urgh so tired but i promised my pal i'd go graverobbing at 9
journos talking about which rules boris johnson broke should be talking about which laws
One cannot truly own a lighter
Oh and sweets sometimes
I don't steal jokes, only hearts
My apologies to everyone who has pointed out they have done this joke before
Oh ffs
Oh. Oh no
If you create an AI-powered wearable device that sucks and nobody wants, you should be forced to eat the unsold stock
Boss: matt can you please focus Me: I am! Boss: on the job I mean Me: oh that
TWO HOURS I've had this in my head waiting to be posted
Can't believe how quickly today's gone, and how little I ache
The trouble with this line of attack is his fans only pretend to care about this stuff when convenient, what they truly, deeply care about is getting POC out of the UK and they don't care about the character of whoever promises to do it
The existence of Betty Boo doing the do implies the existence of Betty Boothroyd doing the doothroyd
You're inside a mug
🤝
Fair
Where I post from
There’s a pervasive (classist) view among people that someone working in the manual trades should never earn as much as an office worker. Which is why you get people aghast like “how can a tube driver earn more than me, a mid level marketing executive???”
a problem with the online democratisation of discourse is thepre-digital native generations still have the mindset that if it's in a typeface rather than handwriting then it is inherently of value bc that's the world they grew up in, then they apply this to whatever they type themselves in 2025.
Ahahahaaaaa
aside from everything else i hate herein, 'Economist & politics dabbler' who thinks immigration & migration are the same thing
I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects
Had the loveliest, loveliest time meeting @wildobliquities.bsky.social earlier, effortlessly good company 11/10 would recommend
opera's rich tragic tradition
no point, no-one can hear them
Strong flex
🫶
was looking at expensive ones online all morning then just bought one for two quid in home bargains and i'm really pleased with it, was expecting it to be functionally useless
going to have some #lunch
New account and yt for my art projects. Zines, games, A/V et al. Plz give it a follow if you wanna hear about this stuff
Ballerina. 🩰
twelve grand more and my chilled upmarket beachside trepanning salon and juice bar becomes a reality
in my neoprene elbow support era
reviewing a zoo like an art gallery, rolling my eyes at the predictable composition of the penguin enclosure
cromunwell more like
elevators should have an intercom you can tell ten seconds of your troubles to a stranger over
thank you barry i'm glad someone liked this
can't stop staring at this, they look like they've had a massive row on the beach and are trudging back to the car, each seething but neither wanting to say something that makes it even worse, at least not until the drive home is out of the way. they will though, the second the key's in the ignition
Wanting to witness ‘history’, wanting to report on drama, not having the skills, intelligence and/or work ethic to study or explain policy and how it affects ordinary people. It’s not bias, it’s just the wrong skill set and mindset, leading to a kind of trivial incompetence.
i do think there's an ethical argument for a maximum voting age but i prefer the unethical ones
might get massively into ageism
fuck a wealth tax i want an age tax
the jammiest generation in the history of this country and all they do is fucking whine i fucking hate them
the most obnoxious thing about the applause is that many of us got vaxed largely to keep precisely the rancid old shitbags doing it alive. pensioner worship is a post-war hangover, entirely deserved at the time but not one of these old pricks is worthy of the unearned, undeserved respect they demand
andy dawson is unbearable sorry
You cannot appease this. You can either defeat it or watch it grow and take everything you hold dear down with it. There can be no compromise with fascism.
happy birthday man!
maxine hesitancy idk i'm just saying stuff
30 days hath september, burbum burm, and december
just sold " i remember, each september" to the september awareness campaign, pretty good morning so far
wearing green joggers and a green sweatshirt in case miss piggy pops round
starting to think we'll never do it in a pantomime horse
twelve grand more and my chilled upmarket beachside trepanning salon and juice bar becomes a reality
ask not what your country can do for you, ask what's for dinner
deliveroo delaugheroo deloveroo
it's fine to say hi if you see me out & about but pls check with my assistant first in case i'm in the middle of a big thought
i never get bullied online because i made the right amulet choices early on
Frangipane ![Kentucky meat shower The Kentucky meat shower was an incident occurring for a period of several minutes between 11 a.m. and 12 p.m. on March 3, 1876, [1 where what appeared to be chunks of red meat fell from the sky in a 100-by-50-yard (90-by-45-meter) area near Olympia Springs in Bath County, Kentucky.[2]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:emzae5leeptun7robmdaxk7k/bafkreihrkymd6nb55gdve4drycwub7aov3dp7v26dkea5v4thsszaulh5q@jpeg "Click to view full size")