I guess those HBO checks for Barry didn’t go very far 😭
I guess those HBO checks for Barry didn’t go very far 😭
But now I want you to direct a One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish that is inspired by CATS (2019)
have you seen the trailer for The Cat In The Hat where they once again made it so “[thing] is actually corporate!” a la Monsters Inc or Boss Baby or Cabin In The Woods or Inside Out or etc etc etc? I’m mad about it
Me: [chanting] peep, peep-
Have you heard anything?
I looked at my library website and I think 16 books have already been written on what Chris doesn’t know about snakes. I say 16 but those are just the ones titled “Snakes”
Sorry for talking about my wormy cat but he can’t get another dose of dewormer until 9/11. The good thing is I will never forget to dose him
Pip has more arms than worms AND more worms than arms
I heard there will be a cameo from Van Jones
Pip loves to scream and growl and chew Rosie’s face while Rosie patiently holds him back with one giant paw
The boys thundered around the house for an hour and a half and now it’s time for morning naps. I love these fellas!
tired: would you kill baby [evil dictator] wired: would you have sex with your clone inspired: kill your own [evil dictator] clone while he’s practically a baby
Thinking about the fall of Númenor for no reason
Are they gonna clone themselves then harvest the organs from their clones 😐
bsky.app/profile/hram...
Nerves: wideout Hammy: offensive line Rosie: running back Pip: brb I need to check what position Jason Pierre-Paul played
I thought this was about you becoming a gym bro & I was like “WHAT is her costume”
“Food scoop” did the trick. I’m trying to get up to free shipping from chewy
I’m looking for a big scoop to transfer litter from the tub to the litter box, but I need to change my search terms bc “litter scoop” is not giving me the right results lol
I found it!!!!!!!!!!!! In a pile of laundry for reasons unknown
where the balls is my phone!!!!!!!!!!
my cats are both really soft, you guys 😭
[Dentist waiting room] Me: [chanting] pip, pip- Other patients: pip, PIP Secretary: [pounding her clipboard] PIP, PIP, PIP!
Seldom goes up
sun is setting early these days
If I hadn’t been holding my phone to read your tweet I would do the arm motions for the song
I must’ve said this on Twitter so I’ll repeat it here: more like Malcolm Sadbad
I bet if nudist colonies were like “we barely ever have to do laundry” way more people would be into it
I was gonna say “what is that like 15 minutes” bc I have Madison Brain
Have you seen his little kitten on ig?
30 Seconds to Mars is a band name, not a fact!
Mister Three Pounds is his newest nickname
You turn a corner and blammo! There’s a little guy there!!
I’m constantly saying, “what’s better than this? Guys bein’ dudes!” to my little guys
Pip just jumped on top of this lamp, hung out for a second, and jumped back off. Without knocking it over
The good news is none of the rest of us can catch it from him since there are not fleas involved anymore
I sent the shelter a photo and a request for more medication, and included a pic of him & Rosie to balance out the gross with cute
he was sleeping in my clean laundry yesterday 😭
I actually didn’t even lock it, I just shut the door and he didn’t open it 🙄
I locked a guy in my bathroom last night and now he’s screaming because he wants out
the other day I was hollering to the cat, “I AM SO SICK OF BEING ADVERTISED TO” well this is a level I hadn’t thought possible
damn Clooney’s still got it
god I cannot waaaaait for Carol to leave the show
preying 5 u
Nice to have a “wake up” opener again, it’s been a while
the tapeworm pooper
I think Sheldon is an official Cutie Patootie
I’ve seen Kolby Allard, Rowdy Tellez, Warming Bernabel…they’re all still in the game!!!
I’m genuinely annoyed about this: a Guy cannot be Remembered while he’s still playing!!!!!
@spiceweasel.bsky.social I saw a guy wearing a Jason Kelce jersey tonight
Go to Chicago. You can see the Astros a bunch at two different places
Did you have the old bus app? It was so good and now there is no good bus app
Did some stuff in the past couple weeks that I haven’t been able to do in the past couple years and boy am I paying for it today! Does someone want to put away my clean laundry for me
I said “JAYsus I thought this was gonna be the SECOND one, ugh” when I read that this is their third
Ass Innovation is the only kind of ai I want in all my apps!
is “ass fell off” a widespread meme or is it just us?
air too fresh
cannot fucking wait to have a day where we don’t have to think about him
I went to bed after watching the Bill Belichick UNC squad take a commanding 7-0 lead, assuring that he is the greatest coach in all of history. I assume nothing happened after that?
Joe was going Full Italian 🤌🏻🤌🏻
OH THATS RIGHT, that was in the car on the way to go see the LOTR orchestra thing when James was Wee Babby James
His ass fell off, his ass fell off His ass his ass his ass his ass
They’re Taking The Hobbits To Isengard style remixes
Literally what I’ve been wanting for ten years now
I think the strips make it hard to notice
I didn’t tell my family I was going to meet him, I just started sending pictures to the group chat. My mom was like “I got out of the shower and suddenly had 20 texts including a bunch of pictures of a scrawny three-legged kitten?!?”
It’s-a me, Pip!
I just noticed a sharpie mark on his shoulder where they made sure to amputate the right leg in both senses of the word 🥺
Rosie is working on it!
Pip has been arrested for being Too Little
the big 2pm announcement is
BREAKING: Jordon Hudson has dumped Bill Belichick for Kirk Ferentz
I dreamed people were generating ai videos of cats giving birth to litters of fully grown cats. It was as stupid as it sounds
Five games in and every coach will be a disgraced nephew. We will have Zeppo Belichick, Gort Belichick, Zamboni Belichick
Luka you clingy dweeb
Bill Belichick thinks 48-14 is unacceptable. Lucky for him the teams didn’t score one more touchdown each because 55-21 would be a healthy adult relationship.
Last night I dreamed this episode ended w Doug Ross showing up but since it was a cliffhanger at the end of an ep they didn’t get George Clooney, so they had Carol saying “Doug?” to some guy, with only the back of his head visible, and he had a tightly curled mullet
incredible work by my autosuggest here
Time traveling to kill Baby Huey
Now I’m imagining “Delicate little compliments” as the D in DENNIS system
Bill Belichick and Jordon Hudson is my Travis and Taylor
SO DID I
Is he gonna do it? Is he gonna order people to shelter soldiers???
i'm getting word the nearly severed cheeks are flapping around like butterfly wings
A giant pyramid of fruit that comes tumbling down
bsky.app/profile/saul... is this you?
I am begging Pip to fall asleep. I think Pip is also begging Pip to fall asleep. He almost did but then I breathed too loudly and he started zipping around again
The Defenestration of MAGA
Wow you see my feet yesterday and hit me with this today!?! I’m wounded to my core
I got the strawberry mascarpone. Very very good but not substantial enough post-run. So I’ll need second breakfast when I get home
Nah I went for a run on campus and I’m working my way back with a stop for crepes on the way. I had never been to the crepe place!?! By your old apartment
I got lost on the walk home! Shoulda hitched a ride with you
I miss Rosie and Pip! Can’t wait to get home again
Tell Fran you shouldn’t have to work on the holiday
Venn diagram w Pokémon
tbh at this point I wouldn’t be shocked if that was actually Bolsonaro in a Giuliani mask and in his attempt to evade the law he ended up right back in the hospital
