🐦🐉 #illustration #art #kidlitart #fantasyart #BRArt
A latke that cannot stop screaming // Editor // 🇿🇦 // (she, they, helluva gay). Banner pic: A young fox sploots upon a brick wall, yawning. By Louie Stowell Profile pic: NJ with confetti in her hair, looking disgruntled
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🐦🐉 #illustration #art #kidlitart #fantasyart #BRArt
I'm kidding around about this but it boils my piss when people don't pay freelancers on time - or communicate ahead of the time to explain delays.
@thejessness.bsky.social
Ugh 😫
My camera roll will be less weird when we live together, I hope.
Gosh thanks autocucumber 😶
The thing about being in a long-distance relationship is that you document the most mundane stuff. Such as the purchase of new oven gloves.
FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOF
Where are you reading about it?
Oh come on, it's a figure of speech 😂
In her defence I'm wearing very shloomy clothes, she obviously didn't notice the grey hairs, and with sunglasses on you can't see the crows' feet.
I do love it when a few hours open up in my day because a client has paid me and I'm not doing anything else for them until the cheque clears.
For being a cunt?
A woman in her 60s, I'd guess, saw me stop to clean up after my dog. "Good for you," she said, "I wish more youngsters were so responsible." I'm turning 44 this week but thanks, ma'am. 😊
PSA: everybody really is staring at you and they all know you're high
I think I'll be a hybrid of these two. Though really I am already, just still fairly young.
Absolutely beautiful 😍
i met anubis in the realm of the underworld, big strong guy by the way, had a dog’s head, i’m not so sure about that. and he said to me, mr president, you’ve got the heaviest soul we’ve ever weighed down here. can you believe it? they’ve never seen a soul that heavy in all of duat
But a motorised one - sort of steampunky.
I snorted audibly at the thought of the AU or SADC doing anything useful here.
The morale will continue until the beatings improve.
I'm sure someone's done GlenGary Glen Ross already but oh well.
Hey UK, my reality-bending mother-daughter-found-family-multiverse novel is on sale on Kobo. It's about being lost, trying to find the best version of you (literally), the mysteries of our parents, neuroparasites, murder and features two of my favourite characters I've ever written in Dom and Amber
What a powerfully poignant section that was - I was glad when the field mice came along to lighten things up!
Ghanaians:
Tonight: Toad is in prison because he stole a car! Also, Ratty and Mole have a spiritual experience™ while looking for a small otter who got lost while exploring.
Jesus God I'm sorry. Glad you've identified the cause; hopefully things will settle soon.
Mr Phidippus clarus being a perfect little guy today 🖤 #EmotionalSupportSpood #InverteFest
I've rediscovered the gentle delight of Kenneth Grahame's Wind in the Willows - I'm listening to the audiobook at bedtime. Last night's chapter involved a choir of carolling field mice.
Love the bot and hope your flare eases up soon. 🧙🏻
What a nifty fact, thanks!
No way! 😮
Nick Cannon has a relationship advice podcast/YouTube show? I guess Durex isn't among the advertisers. 😬
I've rediscovered the gentle delight of Kenneth Grahame's Wind in the Willows - I'm listening to the audiobook at bedtime. Last night's chapter involved a choir of carolling field mice.
Let me be the 400th person to say: chicken ticket masala.
It's a bop!
It's September which means it's time for my annual Birthday Sale!! 🥳🥳🥳 50% OFF ALL PINS AND PRINTS! Discount is automatically applied in your cart ✨✨ Shop here 👇👇 shop.lioninthetrees.com
But what about the Balrog Boogie?
“Ok, so I can’t make jewelry, but I’m great at disarming an alarm system and smashing glass cases”
She's very pretty and she's very stupid. 🥰
We contain multitudes.
"Just ten minutes in the as fuck and these fritters are perfect!"
The most striking thing about this story is that Björk drives! I felt sure she sort of...glides a little off the ground, ethereally, to get around.
My daughter crosses the street and goes to play the piano. The end.
Have I told you about the first time I let my daughter walk alone to piano practice? She had to cross a (big-ish) street, so I told her I would walk behind her and observe. At the zebra walk my daughter, like a boss, puts out her palm to signal the oncoming driver to stop. And Björk stops her car.
Here she is in The Hidden Kingdom (adjacent to the Fables series) - illustrated by Inaki Miranda and Barry Kitson.
Ever feel like you’ve hit a wall and can’t keep going? You may have run into a #yokai known as nurikabe. Translating as ‘plaster wall,’ this odd phenomenon occurs on roads late at night in the form of a huge invisible wall, blocking the way for travellers. Any attempts to... #MythologyMonday 1/4
@thejessness.bsky.social @katetd.bsky.social
I thought Google's search function was borked but, whew, it's magnificent compared to whatever YouTube's wranglers have wrought.
She's very pretty and she's very stupid. 🥰
Now listening to:
Now listening to:
@malcolmxsansx.bsky.social
Quite apart from the fact that being a bigot would mean I had no soul and found no joy in anything but others' pain: Imagine going through life being constantly offended by things like sourdough bread and the colours of the rainbow. These people must be exhausted.
You don't hate Mondays. You hate capitalism. (It's fine if you hate both.)
I think 182 year old research articles should be free I want to read about the man
It's the little things (the mites that live on your eyelashes)
Ugh, I'm sorry. Hope you are able to punch it in the nose soon so it'll shut up, at least for a little while.
The morale will continue until the beatings improve.
Good catch!
Awww mazeltov! 🥰
Feets
FRIEND: It's called cauliflower. It's not ghost broccoli. ME: [taking a long drag on my cigarette] Listen kid, I know what I saw.
Pre-ordered the new Florence album on vinyl as a birthday present to myself and Jesus Christ on a pogo stick international postage is high. 🥹
Maybe the end game here is to collapse all holidays into one 24-hour fever-dream.
My latest cartoon for @theguardian.com books. p.s. I have a new book of cartoons out soon: www.tomgauld.com/comic-books-v2
Free feet pics on the internet in this economy?!? Start an OnlyFans, mos.
Actually, Frankenstein is a doctor success at the Venice film festival
Oooh I must get a digital copy of mine to make it my laptop screen picture!
Feets
It's impossible not to love this.
Surely if you follow that many people your phone overheats and dies the instant you open the Bluesky app?
I must again inform you that if labubu had a Latin plural, it would be labubua, not labubi.
Quite apart from the fact that being a bigot would mean I had no soul and found no joy in anything but others' pain: Imagine going through life being constantly offended by things like sourdough bread and the colours of the rainbow. These people must be exhausted.
@thejessness.bsky.social URGENT
This is one of the best books I've ever read. I'm rationing myself because there are only about 90 minutes left and I don't want it to end. Hilarious, poignant, deeply wounding and wounded, an incredible love letter to Black history.
G-d Peter Gabriel is brilliant.
Just a reminder that "Solsbury Hill" is a perfect song.
This is one of the best books I've ever read. I'm rationing myself because there are only about 90 minutes left and I don't want it to end. Hilarious, poignant, deeply wounding and wounded, an incredible love letter to Black history.
Sunday morning tune
Stoked that I have an autobiographical comic "A Garden of Memory" (illustrated by @lilyresh.bsky.social) exploring grief, gardening as legacy, Kolkata's fading heritage and greenery, forthcoming in @powerandmagic.bsky.social's #HowToTouchGrass anthology, now live on Kickstarter! 👇
It's impossible not to love this.
These are all great 😂 Randy in particular.
Do the stuffies also get pancakes?
I know all the goths are getting excited about spooky season but, as someone with a September birthday, could you give us just a little space for celebration before you drench the entire world with pumpkin spice? 🙄
I'm extremely grateful to have friends who understand that sometimes (often) I'm just feeling too autistic to handle being in public spaces.
"Safety" and "grimace" tripped me up, too!
@thejessness.bsky.social
The first time I said "grotesque" out loud in public was...an experience.
former kids who read too many books and didnt know how to pronounce the words you learned gang say hey
post a meme you made mine tend to be pretty situational (SARS = South African Revenue Service)
You make an excellent point! 🦇
Ditto - but wife mistrusts robots even if they're not tapped into WiFi. It's fine, just means vacuuming is her task. 😂
Sunday morning tune
Lost her virginity on her mother’s grave, kept her husband’s calcified heart on her. Goths wish they could.
I'm trying to come up with a Halloween pun as a rejoinder and failing.
This is a fight I can't win. My wife is already talking about her Halloween decorations.
I'm astonished to report that my note worked: no chaotic non-stop barking last night or tonight!