Going to spend all day arguing with people that the rapture actually did happen.
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Going to spend all day arguing with people that the rapture actually did happen.
I believe it should be spelled Pterry
"I put the 'fist' in pacifist" And by that, I mean my partner is nonviolent.
The human mind, including both yours and mine, is capable of rationalizing basically anything. The unexamined self is tantamount to the abdication of free will.
This is a horrible idea. It should rain during the day and be sunny at night.
I don't buy bruised fruit
Cruisin' for a snoozin'
We have a little bit of a gnat problem in our house so it's like IRL Silksong right now.
I've been told everything uses phi
THIS is what my in-laws were offering me?
I find myself strangely ambivalent about my spouse referring to my "coat pattern".
Is the term "sinfluencer" a thing among the highly religious? It HAS to be, right?
Linda Belcher would absolutely love this.
Streetlights Through trees At night In the rain
Yeah, but Earth pays the tariffs.
Looks like you're not going be selling those baby shoes after all. (Chomp)
If this is what ghosts are like under their sheets, I'm gonna need to whip out my Luigi board.
The variations on this are endless. Don't let the haters in the comments dissuade you.
If Super Behind can throw a Frisbee, problem solved.
Actually, this reads like a @deogie.bsky.social comic.
"Let me be Frank," he said, hotdogly.
Did a dog write this?
At least it's not a leap year
Honking, no matter how justified, depletes a not-insubstantial portion of my social battery. Sometimes I refrain from honking not because they don't deserve it, but because I don't deserve it.
Little do y'all know that we're about to find out there was an executive order changing the line of succession so that the president is replaced by an LLM trained exclusively on his tweets.
Warning: he is also dyslexic
My tombstone will also say this (hopefully).
Guy who feels compelled to respond to every "smash or pass" thirst trap with "Pass. I'm happily married."
I've been reminded about Catch 22. And since the only reason I thought 23 was interesting was because of that Jim Carrey movie, I now concede the pronouncement from the comic. This is actually kind of embarrassing as I consider myself a ska fan and actually own a Catch 22 shirt.
I considered 23 interesting only because of that Jim Carrey movie, so this is the correct answer, I believe.
This was the only thing I could come up with as well, but I don't think it's enough
AI generated relationship advice is more depressing by a narrow margin.
What the hell made 22 interesting? News to me.
Who doesn't love being completely gibbed?
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of public opinion. You have the right to representation, but you do NOT get to choose who represents you. Should you choose to continue defending your hot take, may God have mercy on your soul.
I hate to break it to you. If you're killed by someone holding their gun sideways, you're not making it into any heaven, much less sideways heaven. Sideways purgatory, if you're lucky.
Better than Lord of the Flies at least
Only 30 minutes? No need to brag.
But both of them vote
Man thinks his pets deserve to see him in a tie, I guess. Respect.
More mouse bites!
What about passive aggressive texts?
Just realized a heart can be seen in-frame. Should this be marked NSFW?
I better keep this couple away from my wind turbines. #Rimworld
Where's the alternate universe version of this comic with "The scrote...has been yote" as the punch line?
The proper verb tense of yeet here would be "yote"
Uh...you certainly did...
No bonus panel of the book saying they escaped and are ok now?
Hope she remembers which Y-level is most optimal.
Did you let them know?
Me, whispering into my spouse's ear: "You're my favorite disease vector"
I just realized I might be telling on myself depending on how many digits of pi you can get a TI-83 to display.
Like the "alphabet method" but with the digits of pi.
Like the "alphabet method" but with the digits of pi.
I always go down with my TI-83 in hand.
[Gaze lovingly] - Gays, lovingly
All LLM responses should end with "BRAWK! POLLY WANT A CRACKER."
We trained a parrot to talk using all of Reddit. We also hit it with I stick if it ever answered a question with "I don't know." Would you like to ask it for relationship advice?
80? You must have been wearing cargo shorts. Wait, you already said "real gamer".
Just realized that the Spice Girls' names didn't spell out SPICE. They were so close though. S - Sporty, easy. P - Posh, again easy. 2/5ths done. I - Indigenous, because why not? C - Creepy, instead of Scary. Lateral move racism-wise. E - Instead of Baby, just call it what it is: Epstein Spice.
The doctor: "you've got roughly one month, two months, max." Me, whose name isn't Max: "there must be some mistake."
Dam, girl. Are you a beaver?
🎺🎺🎺🎺
His friends aren't going to believe him
Was worried about my green peppers getting sunburned, so I put socks on them. But now they're Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Right before calling him a "manlet", apparently. Jesus was kind of a dick.
Moments after he gave "James the Less" his nickname.
If my wishes to be cremated are ignored, I want the headstone on the right.
Overdue, imo.
Yeah, if it means I can't hug my Jewish friends, then it would only barely be worth it.
It doesn't mean "having fists-full of ham"? I have a lot of people I need to apologize to.
Wait. "Ham-fisted" is supposed to be a pejorative? How could that be a bad thing?
Sounds like a cleaning hack
Saving money for this, you mean
Oh, to see the look on someone's face when they're searching for scholarly work on "protein folding" and they happen upon my research paper about the optimal way to place bologna on a sandwich...
Terrorism, I would assume
If Borderlands 4 doesn't have an achievement for beating the game with the "Claptrap slider" set to 500%, I'm not buying it.
You know how if you stare at an image for a while and then look at a white background, you'll see a negative of that image? What if smell worked like that? What does negative banana smell like?
Given what I could see in the last panel, I was hoping that the censored word above "dicks" would be "repossessing".
Porn 2 was better
Final panel also could have been a tongue kiss
When you fall into a bottomless pit, you die of starvation. Unless you fall in at the same time as someone else. That would open up a lot of possibilities.
"spread eagle" is an insensitive term to use when speaking to birds
My tabs will remain in purgatory
He said, frankly.
Hard to find a good fisting tutor
Accurate.
"Ow," he said, cock-eyed.
The above is entirely grammatically correct. I am not receiving criticism at this time.
You ever skoot a skeet right after you skote another skeet and feel like the second one will overshadow the first?
The weight loss industry is actually a scam by Big Textile to get you to buy more clothes. Kevin Smith figured this out and has been silently protesting.
Wait. I need to know what's similar to PUP!
I didn't get that far
In my dream, I was playing an unannounced fromsoft game. If my dreams prove prescient, the sonic fans are going to love this next one.
Melvin is vastly overestimating the amount of usable meat on Jake.
I was enjoying the best bowl of rotini of my life when I suddenly started questioning whether I truly deserved it. Then I realized it was probably just mmmpasta syndrome.
Life's too short to change out of gym shorts into cargo shorts just to go to the grocery store.
If it goes left they call that communism
I have to admit I almost missed the "I WANT YOU..." reference
I like to read the real comic before the censored version to subvert expectations