Farting My Way To Eternity
HIT HIM AGAIN KHAN
"smart watch" as a portable computer is pointless. the wearable computer should take up your entire forearm and fold out like a yugioh duel disk and also you can do poses with it
‘It’s time for Chuck Schumer and Hakeem Jeffries to step down’ - Mehdi Hasan This was a great read. We deserve better leaders in the Democratic Party. www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...
77? Surely he must be able to find somebody older.
Florida has forgotten that it used to be a disease-ridden swamp with barely any development until the industrial capacity existed to make land usable and the medicine existed to prevent you from dying from an infected mosquito bite. DeSantis is eager to return to those times, it seems.
right, no place is a *good* place to abandon modern medicine, but a densely populated tropical swamp is an unusually bad place to do so
Due to recent headlines I have updated the map.
Idk man, i kinda think the next Dem president needs to absolutely break the Republican governments of Texas and Florida in particular bc this shit shoulsnt be viewed as anything other than a hostile act against Dem states from the Republican governors of those states that cannot go unanswered
we’re about to see a second wave of teen reddit atheism the world has never seen before
I had friends who were from Gurnee. It never stopped being a shitshow, according to them.
Invite your normie friends to our discord: discord.gg/PS5ZkenH
A very stressed out and alarmed white house running around going "FUCK WHAT DID THEY GIVE BIDEN SO HE COULD DO PRESS CONFERENCES, SOMEONE FIND IT FAST"
Sorry I missed your birthday party/album release, Goonie Jay. I hope you had a good birthday. I hope you didn't cum, which I understand is the goal.
Decent network of bike trails, mostly.
Why not at this point
Michelle Obama: "please I'm begging you feed kids just one (1) vegetable" RFK: "some children deserve to die. there's a healthy way to eat deep fried burgers" Media: "these are the same, to me"
1. Begin the Begin 2. Orange Crush 3. Daysleeper 4. Nightswimming
Using one photo already on your phone, what is the announcement tomorrow at 2?
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. filling an IV bag from a murky puddle near Trump National's sixth tee. "The president needs parameciums," he tells the assembled media. "It's the only treatment proven to work in real testing." His golf cart is piled high with dozens of dead birds.
Tangential but it’s notable that when California does things it gets reported as “Newsom” and when Illinois does things it gets reported as “Illinois”
Oh yeah dude definitely
Team Cherry confirmed the $20 price for Silksong
*crab-walked
i hate to hand it to 'em but "there is nothing in the middle of the road but yellow lines and dead armadillos" goes hard
Username: The Chunch In order: 1. Major Kira Purrys, the day after we got her. Age 9, but she's 1 in this photo. 2. Goblin. Age 8. 3. Luna. Age 3.
The street corn was steamed, dear reader.
I keep forgetting my rule about never buying food from a truck outside a microbrewery, but in my defense, I haven't eaten since 9.
replacing Batman fight onomatopoeiae with old midwestern brewery names
my father-in-law is a “I know a guy” Guy. sadly all the old Guys are aging out of the Guy Economy. Guys are fundamentally incompatible with Hustle Culture because it’s not about “winning” a deal, it’s about collecting favors and goodwill in a mutually-beneficial cycle. protect your local Guy Economy
A collection of clips from MSNBC of multiple Republicans getting booed at town halls this week.
*gently to my cat*: you cant be a little fucker. You have to be good. No more being a little fucker. *My cat, purring*: the Being a Fucker hour draws near
This is why you can't have nice things
only so many words you can put in a headline but the whole response is loud and proud support for the trans community and worth reading
Our dog is doing physical therapy, and the photos they’re sending us make him look like a Far Side character.
told my gf that there was this credenza restoration technique where you can use purified water to revive the surface and that its called "Credenza Clearwater Revival"
yo this guy is cooking
they’ll just move him to a different parish and he’ll do it again
Vincent D'Onofrio should change his name to Vincent Mitochondria since he's the powerhouse of The Cell (2000)
Lot of people not familiar with RFK’s fucked up brain so let me translate: he thinks he can walk around and see how many kids are autistic, and he thinks vaccines caused it. Pretty much that simple
Facebook is not online. It's technically the internet, but when people say "online" they don't mean Facebook. It makes you insane like going online does, but with none of the benefits.
RFK please quit and just start an unlistenable podcast instead for the love of god
Nobody's ever gone broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people, but my god I hope it's possible to lose a Democratic primary doing it.
Outside the CDC, people are chanting “USA, not RFK.” They are fed up with having one unqualified person dictate the nation’s health. #USANotRFK
Yesterday, at approximately 9:30pm U.S. Central Daylight Time, somebody aboard the International Space Station rocked an astronomically impressive piss:
This is a start bsky.app/profile/eter...
As long as rfk has a pulse, he will kill children, and go out of his way to specifically kill sick children.
Anybody who emphasizes a word via means other than capitalizing that single word or putting underscores around it should not be allowed on social media. This goes double for people who emphasize a word by repeating it's last letter when said letter is a consonant.
"I hear you and I accept that you're dying" will unfortunately be bouncing around the walls of my cavernous noggin like a DVD VIDEO screensaver for several months
Just doing ocular pat downs
kind of just endlessly and irrevocably furious at anyone and everyone who euphemized rfk jr’s malign conspiracism as “skepticism” or co-signed the idea that “he makes some valid points” or “is asking the right questions”
pedocon theory keeps going
What in god’s name are you fucking saying
wtf is this nonsense? He thinks he can understand kid’s “mitochondrial challenges” just by looking at them? This is an insane person.
I don't really know anything about Powershell, but the code looks like it's at least _intended_ to do what it says on the tin. Having the code be readily available on Github adds a little bit of transparency. That being said, I dunno if it actually works or if it'll brick one's computer.
Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey condemns anti-trans hate in wake of school shooting, calls for unity: “Anybody who is using this as an opportunity to villainize our trans community or any other community out there has lost their sense of common humanity” #NOH8
uhhhh
*The idea among these people, I should say.
Pretty sure Koyaanisqatsi is a meme in online doomer circles. Basically the idea is that life is out of balance and either needs to be accelerated through via violence, or is so far gone that morality doesn't matter anymore.
MAGA is a death cult. The Republican Party is a death cult.
the folks resigning are dedicated public servants who would not do this unless they felt that a) they could no longer do their jobs and b) they had no other choice. many of them worked at CDC for decades + helped build the modern agency that trump, musk, & rfk. jr have wrecked in a matter of months.
US accused of conducting hostile campaign designed to destabilize Denmark, a close democratic ally amp.dw.com/en/denmark-s...
Maybe we shouldn’t let someone who doesn’t believe in germs and who thinks it’s okay to eat roadkill and swim in contaminated ponds be in charge of our national food safety.
as if I couldn't hate him more Andrew Cuomo is now encouraging the DSA International Committee to issue *more* statements
The piss tank on the ISS is now 8% full.
I'm in my early 30s. My parents tried to teach my something similar when I was a kid, but A: I was homeschooled, and B: I never learned a specific method, so a lot of my attempts wound up completely incomprehensible to me even a month later.
These children are going to be the most damaged people to ever fail upwards into C-suite positions.
This article just reminded me of this old tweet
Deep Dish / Hot Dish 2028 is an unbeatable platform.
i think mamdani should do other things that the mayor of stardew valley does since the scavenger hunt went so well. i think he should start sneaking onto your property and picking up your mail at 4am. i think the people of new york should have to sneak vegetables into his fridge
To Donald Trump and his administration: If you hurt my people, nothing will stop me — not time or political circumstance — from making sure you face justice under our constitutional rule of law.
It's rebooted, but only available for Patreon patrons. Imo it's worth the dosh.
I learned about this song's existence and meaning from reading this comic at way too young of an age.
THAT'S! MY! KHAN!
Pritzker: Trump looked at the cameras and asked for me personally to say, Mr. President, can you do us the honor of protecting our city? Instead, I say, Mr. President, do not come to Chicago. Your remarks about this effort have betrayed a continuing slip in your mental faculties
Just got home from the Eric Adams scavenger hunt. We had to find 300 children’s teeth hidden in the alley behind Zero Bond, and use them to build “an electric chair for rats.” The winners got to keep the teeth. I hate this city.
We spend lots of time parsing through all the preexisting trends that made the rise of an American fascism possible, and that's all true enough, but it's still a huge contingent factor that Donald Trump is a literal freak of nature, a sui generis pathological bundle of min-maxed personality traits.
putting aside the trans rights issues specifically (lol), I think part of what has me so frustrated with the Newsom thing is that Pritzker, Walz, and Zohran are putting on clinics for a popular, progressive politics and we’re wasting time talking about this used car salesman ass goblin.
My toddler must’ve turned on speech to text, but honestly a lot of posters do need to hear this.
OSINT folks, the bar has been raised
It's a-me! MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
As a fella once said, "blue on blue"?
A friend of mine gifted me this lovely portrait of my dog Toffee from the Friends of Oakland Animal Services Bad Art fundraiser a while back; enjoy #OAS
The State of Illinois at this time has received no requests or outreach from the federal government asking if we need assistance, and we have made no requests for federal intervention.