Caught @dasharez0ne.bsky.social on a shelf to buy. He's yelling about something and it's all true (unfortunately)
Feral american ☀️♓️ 🌙♋️ ⬆️♐️
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Caught @dasharez0ne.bsky.social on a shelf to buy. He's yelling about something and it's all true (unfortunately)
The rocky theme is playing in her head, but off-key and with children's toy instruments
Bugs Bell Coast to Coast on AM
Lmao once at a restaurant, i overheard a lady talking to her friend about how she had just had a mammogram and the plates got stuck so she was just trapped tits first in the squisher. She said it didn't hurt at all, and it was funny to see the technicians panic a bit, only stuck for maybe 90 seconds
Dick proenneke smiles upon thee
Based and red-pilled
Bountiful harvest. Quite the crop
Activating my transgender amulet like captain planet kids
It goes slow at first, then suddenly 2 weeks later, you're like "dayum it IS working". I believe~
All you need to know is the green bay packers (GO PACK GO) won the very first one and we haven't forgotten about it and won't let anyone else either
So she's gonna get stabbed and poisoned and wrapped in a glorious red russian carpet that's chained and thrown into a river? Seems like overkill but I'm here for the maximalism
Gender is a performance and I'm honestly just completely winging it out here because i have pathological demand avoidance and being told to memorize lines made me feel like my basic human rights themselves were being threatened
Nah they took one of their shoes and got him down by throwing it at him to dislodge, like a ball in a tree
T life? No thanks, i have pcos and recently escaped the t i was making
He's just trying to upstage the immortal wisconsin governor himself, tommy thompson (who climbed with no equipment up the outside of the capitol dome here and touched the statue during an election to "get rid of energy")
Do you know how they extract that in these times? It's actually very gentle on the snail and people who do it refer to it as a "snail spa". We've come a long way from brutally harpooning whales for perfume and lipstick
Immortal horse as senator when
A bnuny doing some yoga outside an old workplace. Hope this helps a crumb
For my birthday this year, one of my friends wanted to get me the clefairy squishmallow to go with my gengar. I have the 10" form of the gengar. He ordered the 10" clefairy. They sent the 14". So now i have a plushie that, like a 14" dick, is useless except for decoration (but i love her)
I love this, which red pandas and raccoons do too, ie stand up to look bigger and scarier, but at least in those last two animals, they just look adorable and like they want uppies
One of my friends told me "you're so bosco coded" and now i know what that means (it's a compliment)
Nope, they're stand-ins for actual real masters of the land, the kind of experts who can destroy an imperial army with rambo traps
Actual trivia: ewoks are named after the miwok tribe, native americans who historically lived in california
I know you nerds like that #DragonAge and even if you aren't familiar, this lady still makes pretty things that are pretty even without knowing 3 games or so of lore that can be perfect for a look
My therapist is a CIA plant sent to stop me from living my dream of becoming a suicide bomber
I've met maybe 1 smoked meat i didn't like, so I'm not really a discerning opinion. And i love even chicken and herb sausage. Whatever gets the brat gospel spread is good to me
Wisconsinite here, this is food for a king or for your family because you love them and want them to be nourished. I like to do midwest bangers and mash with beer brats and cheddar/sour cream/bacon bits mashed potatoes. Guaranteed food coma
@speedwithteeth.bsky.social
T-pain's cover of it shook me
Ugh this takes me back to ages 7-18. Dad kept an honestly pretty respectable veggie garden in the backyard and we had everything from sugar peas to corn, radishes to spring onion, cabbage, even brussels sprouts at one point. Yeah we had the onion and radish in a glass of water on the table (wi rep)
Meet Me at the Creek (for a baptism)
Is this the jessicka-esque noise era
No joke, i haven't eaten dinner yet and I'm just sitting on my phone and saw this and a single drop of drool somehow escaped my closed mouth corner and dripped down my chin. Lucky for me, dinner is mushroom and cheese pizza
Bring back some salt Actually nevermind I'll just come with
@hausofdecline.bsky.social started out as some scruffy patsan and turned into the kind of woman i would willingly ruin me and my parents' lives for. Estrogen is a hell of a drug
Re: david gilmour At age 7 my face was completely atomized by the comfortably numb guitar solo and while my face grew back, i was never the same
Zooey deschanel's unhinged war with the bird in failure to launch is the only reason to watch that movie. I can never stop laughing at the scene where she goes to buy a whole ass shotgun to disperse it and is adamant she only needs to buy one shell for it
I know what they mean but I'm choosing to believe they're looking for willing sacrifices and am drafting a resume to apply now
I ain't readin all that I'm sorry or congratulations
In madison, there used to be a cab company called greencab whose whole fleet were teslas with the stupid outer and inner door levers that work roughly 60% of the time. They went through a lot of behind the scenes drama with the owners and sank before all this, thank christo
I asked a friend if this reality was a rockstar or bethesda coded game and she said obviously they both had a hand in it
Listen, i tentatively self-identify as a satanist. I eat candy for dinner if i feel like it. I will put my face in boobs if i get the okay. I will vape 2 packs worth of nicotine in one day. But even i think gambling with money is the literal embodiment of the christian idea of satan (ie evil)
A lifetime in wisconsin has given me +10 against frost damage but -20 to fire. Give me a 70⁰ room on a subzero day than a 70⁰ room on a 70+ day, please. In the words of gramma, when asked if she'd move south, "but i love that cold, clean air"
LOVING the tan line, grrl
They must not know a healthy environment starts with the smallest creatures. A society who cares more about animals will care about other humans, too. Like we aren't the most important animal on earth, just the most prolific
Sometimes dishes just can't be made pretty. But for real, the shittier and brown a gumbo looks, that shit and brown is flavor. Who wants multicolor gumbo, order spring rolls at a vietnamese place if wanting color
"Google drive 86% full" so what, you're a cloud, get bigger
June-theenth means bbq, brats, and potato salad to me more than 4th of july does
Persephone (brown tabby) and mogwai (better known as moogles, mcdoogles, higgle hog, baby sass, etc) aka the first cat to love me (persephone) and both the dopiest and smartest cat I've ever lived with (moogles)
Remember when max landis visited the red letter media guys and mike's disdain could barely be contained even back in what, pre-pandemic by a few years, 201X times
What the heckie. I loved her show's kitchen because of the grill built in. My first chef i worked under was visually like ann but mentally like hell's kitchen gordon ramsay. Gawd bless rip sweet queen burrell
Fight drag (what i call pro wrestling) is actually amazing and randy savage especially has a place in my heart because he did a voice on a dial m for monkey short of a dexter's lab episode (aging myself here)
He creaks when he moves and he smells like a wallet, give him whatever he wants. Ties? Done. Anything for a leather ensemble
*skee-lo voice*: i wish i was a little bit smaller, i wish i was a flower
Is the guy from somethingawful? Is this the goon base?
Please tell me this goth is rocking the quintessential great lakes region sweater and shorts/skirt combo (it keeps your top warm and your bare legs act as a blood radiator, keeping you perfectly temped, it makes sense okay, rest of america, quit asking)
You'll never lick the boot well enough for them to let you have a turn wearing it, and if you do have the desire for a turn in the first place GET THERAPY
An average day in the life of @alanaferal.bsky.social
I drop a key that matches up with a lockbox that contains thc and nicotine vapes, 2 cool rings, and a coral switch lite. However my cat will instantly aggro you after I'm defeated. Unless you have cheese to placate her, it's a kick back to lobby for you. Rings here (meteorite and moldavite)
At the first restaurant i worked at (waaaay back in 2009), one of our soup de jour soups we had maybe once a month was a reuben chowder. Potatoes, corned beef, bit of kraut, and caraway bits. It was one of my favorites
Drop booty, and don't kill yourself
Who even cares what someone judges your spice tolerance at anyway, like I'll be the first to admit mild verde sauce is all i need for myself and other people can chew a whole carolina reaper each bite and it doesn't affect what i like to put in my own tummy. Tolerate spice tolerance 😌
Poison hearts never change, a.f.i. is right. However
"Sorry, someone beat my ass with the yuri paddle. Yeah i can make up a few hours next day off. Okay thanks, sorry again, but i had no choice in it"
I'll say again like i did on our cake days, finding out we share a birthday was more exciting than any other "big" celebrity I've come across. I indeed am a laid-back queer and also weirdo (queerdo) who digs your content
Patsy montana voice: i didn't know the e was goated
Dnd is math blasters with elves
It's funny because i have higher testosterone than usual and would get involved with "cishet" men and nearly all of them came out as somewhere on the queer/trans spectrum. The only one who didn't got married and had kids the second i was gone lmao
Bill hicks' bit on making a show called "let's hunt and k!ll billy ray cyrus" can have any number of target names swapped out for current events
Is that what i felt just now? Hello from monroe county, land of the amish and juggalos
I can perfectly hear this in my head and i hate it
As an afab she/her with pcos, an extremely common hormonal disease in afab people that jacks up my testosterone 3 times the normal, I'm always just like but my natural t-juice is higher than trans* on estrogen and i really do have an advantage. But you know. Never was about women's safety
Dick proenneke smiles upon thee
What is that in there with the pokey greens, just turbinado sugar? I've heard you can make soda with certain pine needles, have you tried that too? Peak aesthetic
I used to do customer service for a medical product company and as i was getting name/birthday/address, i had a guy say "n as in knife" and i didn't correct him
When the world gets tough, the tuff take a nap while breathing through their ears #catsofbluesky
Mfw existing
My great grandma on my mom's side was an ashkenazi jewish czech lady who had to flee her homeland because of wwii with nothing but herself and her kid (my grandpa, rip in rest) and I'm gonna go out on a limb and say she wouldn't approve of anyone else having to flee destruction and death either
I had a trans woman friend who was always delighted when my lesbian femme-loving cat would obsessively sniff and roll around on her shoes and gaze up at her with adoration in her little kitty eyes (cat tax paid here):
@speedwithteeth.bsky.social
The smartest thing i want my phone to do is do what i tell it to do, when i tell it
I used to work at a 4-star hotel known for hosting special events, especially weddings. I don't remember a single one except for 2 ladies who got married and the next day at the brunch were wearing matching flannels each with "bride" across the back in rhinestones. Big that energy. Corngrats also!
I went through a period in my teens where i was too cool for pokemon. Then i got my first job and got my first ds and pokemon diamond and have been doing nothing but make up time for my absence (arceus legends on my lite has nearly 3k hours put into it)
Mfw anything
Absolutely yes, no doubt, why is this a question, and yes you SHOULD have to treat "the rest of them" fairly actually, another thing that shouldn't be a question
Orange cats embody a certain dichotomy. This one pictured, mogwai (also know as moogles, higglehog, baby sass, etc) i live with honestly passes the mirror test but also forgets to put her back foot down after washing it and has the dopiest vibe i ever been around
Remember when you had to go directly to someone's website to see their funny videos? Or finding an artist on elfwood (gawd bless) and going to her site to read the complicated story she drew scenes from? 1990 birth year checking in, i remember
I opened this app and this was the first post listed and this guy was like a jumpscare
That guy probably: aw yiss, unlocked car, what kind of riches will i- what the fuck is all this shit, is this person deranged
Classical era vibes. My friend once lost power to her building after a bad storm for like 5 days. Hopefully you're brought back quicker than that, though if anyone could survive a week with no power, it'd be you
Wow those mushies look so gross and wrinkly, you should give me all of them to dispose of properly (into my stummy)(i mean frying pan)(i mean-)
Idk about them but i need adorable personal and vintage cats more than ever these days. I stay aware, i know about our kind of fall of the house of usher situation but they'll pry my therapeutic cats pics from my cold dead optic nerves
Hang on buddy, we're gonna get you down and have you play edward 40 hands since you now have perfect bottle holders in your hands
The best woman and wife is one who could kill you but doesn't because she thinks you're cute and funny and also has a good moral code
Persephone with her hot takes #catsofbluesky
What if i went out there loudly reciting jim morrison poetry to try to find the elf in the woods
No joke that game taught me so much about disempowerment and helplessness it actually helped my trauma healing a bit. Shoutout infected house music track
Wisconsinite checking in, have been wondering when I'll hear about a ketamine od
