“fuck this could change everything. i need to tell my girls about this” -an ant after it smells a little Captain Crunch on the floor
ancient reptile in real life, Omar on Platonic. formerly known as vinn_ayy
29,940 followers 65 following 66 posts
view profile on Bluesky
“fuck this could change everything. i need to tell my girls about this” -an ant after it smells a little Captain Crunch on the floor
yeah, they should’ve had Ray Charles up there!!! why didn’t they get Ray Charles????
me at 4yo trying to gather my entire extended family to watch me do a little flip or something
mahomes looks like a haunted porcelain doll
omg Kelce looks like he’s having Vietnam flashbacks
it’s so heartening to see the US finally engaging in a trade war with our two greatest enemies, Mexico and Canada
😔
Okay wait SHE just farted??? Miss thing is playing 4d chess
gonna conjure one up
ooooh this lady sitting in my row on this flight has a BAD attitude. Mean for no reason. I don’t have to fart rn but im gonna figure something out before we land
I hate when a candle is hard to blow out like what the hell are you trying to prove
Thank you ❤️
so happy it’s finally out :) I was the one holding the flashlight under Trump’s face for this portrait :) it smelled really bad down there but i think i did a really good job and i hope they eventually pay me ❤️
What was ur most embarrassing moment of 2024 (not gonna share mine but would like to hear urs)
i’m old enough to remember when Kim Kardashian said she was going to law school
“don’t forget to leave milk and cookies out for Santa tonight 😄😝”
Damn, I can tell from your Guy Fawkes profile pic that you really have a handle on the zeitgeist
“who are they?? they don’t even fucking go here!!” —me after seeing a herd of African buffalo stampeding through the frigid central Asian steppe in Kraven (2024)
I truly cannot impart to you how jarring it was. It was like seeing zebras in the alps
Kraven (2024) is a trailblazing film. No other movie has so bravely depicted thousands of African buffalo living in Eastern Russia. Do they explain this? No. But that’s part of the bravery.
luigi they would hate to see two italianx men get coffee together
mama mia i would like to join the manhunt as well
wow so now folks want to hurt u for simply telling people they are too poor to survive cancer? woke culture has gone to far
they are caused by being tacky
can’t stand seeing one of my friends get a nosebleed. like what are u doing?? grow up
Australians
Good morning to those of you who are awake. Nurses, ghouls, raccoons, etc
without what and a drink
and the world was silent like a buttplug in the snow
if you’re cold they’re cold 😞 please bring them inside
how come there is a bee twink on the Cheerios box, but there is never a bee twink inside. RFK i am begging u to do something about this.
Every few weeks my therapist and I have what I call “A Sony Spider-Man Session” because there’s nothing new to say but it’s best to keep the franchise alive
A hoe? Yeah that’s part of it too.
Yikes!
Oh to be the funniest person at a boring table on Thanksgiving who says “it’s giving thanks” and it absolutely crushes and it’s all anyone talks about bc they really have nothing else to talk about
no stupid I got them bc i’m nice and cool and everybody likes me
The vibe is rancid!! Very sad!! I can’t go back!! It’s like watching ur childhood home become a factory farm for hogs
So much of twitter is just incredibly weird men posting a picture of a woman’s new haircut and saying something like “the west has fallen”
I think calf implants are wrong. I think we should wait for the cows to grow up so they really understand their decisions.
ok go off tiny tim
really fucked up that turkeys spent millennia evolving to not be delicious, only for people to eat them regardless
I would be a bad guy in Wicked bc if I saw a green individual I would be like let’s get you to the hospital mama
Defying gravity? U mean like walking on water? Let me tell u about a man who got called “Wicked” a lot too. He was born in a little town called Bethlehem
You’re holding space for the lyrics of defying gravity I’m holding you up bc you’re blackout drunk at the cheesecake factory
sometimes I look at a gingerbread man and I think “that’s not right”
It’s almost Christmas :) and i would like to say that sometimes it feels like gingerbread men have racial undertones
What do we need to do to make it not feel gauche on this app
Practicing my kinder, gentler burns for Bluesky.
Not the worm had a cheat day
I love a hyperlocal news crisis. “I’m coming to you live from the park where a raccoon has DIED on the tire swing. this is a developing story”
butterfly dont talk
I don’t love that the logo here is a butterfly. I wish they would have workshopped that. Should’ve been a louder bug. They needed me in that brainstorming session.
Pardon? Who have you been talking to
Paying $20 million dollars to fight a 60 yr old man is crazy. im about to do it on the subway for free
okay im back are u guys mad at me
This is SUCH an important conversation!!! thank you for your bravery, Scott ❤️
guess where we’re complaining about it now bitch
Fireworks are meant to exist briefly and disappear. When you post a picture of a firework you are undermining the artist’s ephemeral vision (1/85)
this app is nice but I wish it was more like Twitter 😔 where are all of the insufferable porn bots leaving replies like “u up for some 💙” 😞😞
It’s just lute music and hollering im obsessed
been watching the Witcher for two seasons and I still have no idea what’s going on. I don’t even know these people’s names. These are strangers to me.
hastily transporting all of my larva to bluesky because my nest is flooding on twitter
Iguanas are obsessed with bobbing their heads up and down. It is their raison d'etre
The air is cleaner here
