Don't worry, everything will be okay. Or it won't. Definitely one of those two.
Linktree: https://linktr.ee/YourCatButtFace
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Don't worry, everything will be okay. Or it won't. Definitely one of those two.
Or me. This could also be me.
I only do this so much bc i'm 1/4 cicada, which is also why if you're tall i may try to land and lay eggs on you thinking you're a tree. Sorry!
Same
what if we kissed in the Criterion Closet.
A nap only works if you have an energy drink immediately after waking up #science
Bc i'm old #meexplainingmyjokesuntilyoumuteme
You're very welcome โค๏ธ๐โโฌ i have 4, so I don't mind sharing. Here. This one's Cipher. She can help too
Wanted: Burrito Brand Manager Must be willing to occasionally skeet at me telling me to do something to better my burrito brand...to get sponsorships and stuff.
It is such a weird turn of events that the best way to avoid criminal prosecution is to become president of the United States.
I believe in you
False
Truly excellent work
โBirthday to you,โ because itโs your day, and I'm not telling you how to feel.
my honest resume 1. I can trap any fly under a glass (esp great for office picnics or if one gets inside and needs to be taken back out) 2. ... 3. 4. :-) hi
Thank you. I try to keep him humble, but he knows it.
โค๏ธ๐โโฌโค๏ธ
I would really like bluesky to label and allow muting of all AI-created content.
Wow. My baby boy is now bluesky version of viral. Where can he collect his clout points?
Slept in my NAS shirt, woke up in a NY State of Mind
Slept in my Public Enemy Shirt, woke up Harder Than You Think (Ok, that one would def work better if i had a penis but no one else used it, so)
I got one of these that just told me that they hoped my Thursday was going well. It was nice โจ
If you see this post an archer
I moved from L.A. to Chicago 2mnths ago. Now they "coincidentally" shift focus to here. Why you so obsessed with me?
[returning a text from eight months ago] Are you still at the coffee shop?
I'm seeing a lot of extra sad skeets on here today in just the first few mins. So here's my cat Parker being supportive in case it helps anyone
Sorry ๐
Don't let him distract you from the fact that he died.
It's okay they like it if you watch
I tried to text my vet back saying "That's awesome" but predictive text wanted me to say "That's aesthetically pleasing" and i'm so wishing i was brave enough to have just hit send to that
Crying session 8pm at my house. Pull up
Did you drink enough water today you stupid bitch
"Are you an adult?" Me: Yeah, but not on purpose or anything
People be like "bear with me" and then they don't even have a bear with them
Wtf? Why aren't any of you asking why i'm still single?
I stick to delivery drivers. Sales ppl always wanting something from you. Don't trust em
It's even better when you reply with an "oops sorry! I forgot to attach. Here ya go." And then do it again.
one cool thing about me is Iโm definitely alive
Share the last movie you watched. (It was in a twitch chat though, so actually 10/10 comedy)
Tbf i do love lemons though
The alt text beat me to it :-/
I don't need to skeet everything that goes through my brain. I don't need to skeet everything that goes through my brain. I don't need to skeet everything that goes through my brain.
This skeet showed up under an angry cat pic in my feed so my brain initially read "zoomie apocalypse" and now i can't stop picturing a herd of cats going apesh*t in a mad max backdrop. Prob same advice either way though, bite biggest cat, bc also likely the slowest cat..?
Who wants to go to a Halloween Party? Maybe NYC?
Me
Nooooooooooooo
Well, thank you, Mr.HandsomePants
I saw a sign today that advertised a local wooly worm festival so now I gotta cancel all my plans
In all seriousness though, i know flirting has changed in the past two decades, but can you still call guys Mr.HandsomePants? Asking for me.
"What up, angel butt?" --me suducing a stranger like a pro
This was not referring to the cheese tip btw. That one sounds universal and delicious. Just hated when ppl would try to give me sincere advice back then, but in the immunotherapy case, i'm super glad i heard about it when i did, so, feel obligated to pass it on
i know it's dumb af to try to give tips since every type and tumor is different, but if you haven't, you should ask about immunotherapy. I wouldn't have had the unicorn outcome i had wo the clinical trial i got in and literally no dr ever brought it up UNTIL I asked after researching online myself
๐ถMy pink bunny slippers brings all the bunnies to the yard๐ถ
Also, i'm sorry you're dealing w/that. I have a shitty medical history too
Potato eating a potato. Hot.
Highly recommend โค๏ธ
Help me biscuits and gravy you're my only hope
I'm starting to think as I continue scrolling that you both need to put cheese in you
nooooo, potato ๐ would it help if i put cheese in you? That helps me sometimes
They probably get distracted by the squiggly lines behind your head tbf
I WANT THEM BOTH! ๐๐
Hi authors! Please remember to file a claim!
The woman i thought i'd grow up to be
I don't know if i just don't feel funny today or if you ppl aren't inspiring me to feel funny today. I will blame you.
What's crazy about this scam is bluesky doesn't even have difficult verification standards or require you to be any sort of public figure at all. You just need a url/website. Anyone worried about proving that they're really them who wants a badge would have done it now
It's a weekly event - HACKERS attempting to STEAL ACCOUNTS DON'T EVER SHARE YOUR PASSWORD
To be fair, i was still just a small child who didn't know how goofy it looked
I used aquanet in the late 80s/early 90s, solely to puff up my football shaped side bangs, so i cannot repost this sadly...
*why ppl do it* See?? Dumber
I get why do it, especially once/if you have more followers. But every time a dumb reply to a funny skeet has nowhere to go to escape my brain, I get 1% dumber. It's science.
"Behind The Trees" - my oil painting
A cute, funny boy in a hat with a 4K laugh would fix me
Why would i care what u've thrown away? Rewrite!
Oops apparently I remembered the line wrong. I like mine better though.
tell me all that you wanna say
*sigh* bot
Say potato, Jason
In my backyard currently...โค๏ธ
bitch, I respect you
Hey You're sexy. Make sexy skeets. Hell don't make sexy skeets. Skeet something...nothing matters. Wow that got dark. You're still sexy though. ๐ฏโค๏ธ
Come on guys be nice to Mark Cuban
Me when you disable replies and quote posts:
Omg! Yes! You totally need at least one! How do you even eat pizza?
Where's Waldo: Possum Edition
she looks nothing like him
You guys sure do ask me to imagine people hating you a lot. Is this like, a specific kink thing??
What?! No! I definitely did not. It was a gift and had no info or album art since it was a limewire/napster type copy. Apparently there are vinyl's on ebay though that I found once you mentioned the actual title
That's it! Thank you!
Everything aches now. But Iโm choosing to believe instead of getting older, Iโm just beginning my metamorphosis. Soon it will be Jason the Butterfly.
I used to have a bootleg copy of his rap album on cd, but no one else seems to remember that it was a thing. I swear it was, briefly. And it was hilarious. I can't remember the title nc i just wrote mr. T on it in permanent marker
Me all day long: i just want to go to sleep NOW Me every single night: I WILL NEVER SLEEP!!!
Let's see you at 21. (I was way too thin, i know. I am aware. I spent all my money on bar tabs instead of groceries back then)
Same
I just moved cross country wo even having a person to wake up. Just felt restless. I would 1000% move for that! Good luck either way random stranger on the internet โค๏ธ
I definitely do
Today could be the day, you don't know.
I'm either going to need a lot more rocks than that or to become much smaller to achieve this dream..
I read this as 9-1-1, and at first thought you were really old, then was like, they had computers when 9-1-1 was invented??
