Oops! All migraine 🥲
Nerd, geek, dork, loser. Please help: My thoughts, they are bad. Said thoughts: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaolkthurmh6 Pfp by @geraldinepiche.bsky.social HIRE THEM NOW
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Oops! All migraine 🥲
Gimme a new name, I can take it.
Hooray! That's good news! 🥳
Gonna start my own AI company but it’s just a service where whenever you enter in something and request AI assistance it messages me and I call your ass up and just yell “Aye Yai Yai!” in Spanish at you louder and angrier at you until you fucking give up.
Oh boy do I feel seen by this one
Well the weather has turned, summer is over. That means it's time to let the beard grow out again.
if you’re looking for a classy, refined lady, i just dumped almost an entire taco on the shirt i need to wear for the rest of the work day 💅🏻
Court TV will do serious numbers on that day!
*Dorling Kindersley storms the courtroom, weapon in hand* en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/DK_(pub...
Well Chat today is the first day of my court case against Donkey Kong over who owns the rights to use DK in our branding. 🤞🤞
Me after I keep things real 😄
Just remembered that my dream last night involved me absolutely totalling the car I was driving and almost dying in an accident involving no other vehicles. Aren't dreams supposed to be a little less on-the-nose than this???
some of you have never had to rewind a goddamn thing in your life and believe me it shows
You must have a better audience than me, that tactic usually renders everybody around me inert.
Sliding into someone's grave (mine) would fix me.
Oh wow, that sounds just like my street. Add in 'gunning a dirt bike up and down the road at all hours' and it's a perfect match 😕
🚨 IMPORTANT UPDATE🚨 DUE TO THE PIECES OF SHIT IN POWER AND NEW RULES AND PRICES WITH US CUSTOMS, DELIVERY IS NOW 40$USD FOR AMERICAN CUSTOMERS. IM SO SORRY ABOUT THAT THERES NOTHING I CAN DO
Also extremely accurate tbh
bill for my life insurance was sitting on my phone and the wife wrote PAY THIS ASAP on it, so goodbye everybody
Must enjoy long walks on the beach and talking about our feelings ad nauseam
Masturbating while eating cornflakes, to establish dominance.
Whoever said "everything sounds like slavery and rape to libertarians except slavery and rape" was COOKING
This cheeky mfer
Just absolutely paralysing bullshit. I love my brain 🙌🏽
Drowning! In The Bathtub
Sweet af avi I made for @badthoughthaver.bsky.social if you want one for yourself hit me up im open for commissions
HOW COULD I NOT, DEENY??
I'm not sure that's the best way to build stable bonds…
*booing loudly*
Sorry you must have the wrong number, I touch myself all the time.
New PFP. Got myself a muthafuckin' original DEENY didn't I? Go check out @geraldinepiche.bsky.social and PAY THEM MONEY TO CREATE COOL SHIT FOR YOU TOO.
Oh I'm sleeping under the judge's bench. I'm not slumming it in cells when I'm one of their best customers!
[Scrolling my feed, hit reply on a skeet, type it, then delete it out of intense anxiety that THIS is the reply that fucks everything up. Scroll some more, repeat.]
I would simply live there. Which I guess would save a lot on mortgage repayments 🤔
Hello 911? Yeah I left my car down by the docks, and two guys in similar but different colored karate outfits smashed it to bits.
Ok I'm going to level with you here, I'm on the fence about it 😐
Oh great, this is how I find out I died
I aim to please (disturb)
Adorbs fr
Ok but the commute for me might make things slightly more difficult. Just FYI.
a bird mating documentary called Flappin’ ’n’ Slappin’
youtu.be/DSNyOYT3dJ8?...
I'll try to remember to join Teams on my mobile next time so I've got the flexibility 🫡
And just in case you thought my musical tastes weren't eclectic enough.
FFS, story of my life 😒
Friends fear he's becoming obsessed with gherkin again. Lol joke, I don't have any friends
Sorry, I was in a meeting
my door was unlocked all night and not a single one of you came in and murdered me…thanks for nothing :/
You can get upset if it helps. Buyers remorse is valid, but I'm not changing!
And now for some Bob Marley & The Wailers
Oh fuck, absolutely we have. I don't know anybody IRL to ask the question so I put it out here in hopes of some personal insight.
Why yes, I do have this live stream of Fuego erupting on, what of it?? www.youtube.com/live/7IB1iUN...
Easing into the morning with Neil Young, and Neutral Milk Hotel.
That's kind of where I'm at as well. I just feel like I need to know if it's just 'Oh FFS, THIS shit again', or like, actually *offensive*
Rule Britannia is just Twinkle Twinkle Little Star for people who love Top Gear.
Well if you want half-truths then you gotta ask TWO agents.
If you smash every pot you come across eventually there’s going to be something cool inside one of them no doubt
Just want an as yet unknown volcano to open up the ground beneath me and melt my bones. I don't even care if it gets named after me. Is that really so much to ask for?
No. You get what you get.
The feminine urge to mysteriously disappear and let the townspeople make up rumors
banned from the kids table at thanksgiving for telling them about skinwalkers last year
I don't even remember any details about it, it just popped into my head for some reason tonight and I felt like I should try and find out for sure.
N-no…🫣
I once loved a girl named Abe, which, of course, was short for Elizabeth. Her kelly green hair made her red eyes shine like stop lights. She chortled at a level not audible to the human ear. Her pincers punctured my colon. When we bickered, the lights flickered. The heart wants what the heart wants.
you'll never know if another four thousand posts would fix you if you don't try, btw
What do this button do? Don't touch that! it triggers the injector seat. Silly. Don't you mean E...OOOH!
I mean, that second sentence could apply to a vast number of things these days 🙃
That do be spookin'! Very cool 🙂
Ah see you gotta ask your half-AI agent if you want the truth.
Oh I'm definitely not going to be doing it, I just absolutely didn't know if I'd imagined the whole thing. I'm kinda removed from it over in the UK, but I still need to know.
Ok that's good to know that somebody else has heard the same, I've not even thought about it for years and it suddenly just popped into my head tonight.
It was right there for you to see this whole time, you just gotta pay closer attention 🤷🏽♂️
As per my pinned skeet, I'm half AI bot.
Honestly it's what humanity deserves at this point!
I've got a question for anybody with knowledge or experience. Is the concept of referring to something as your 'spirit animal' in a whimsical way offensive to indigenous/native American cultures? I genuinely don't know if I've made this up in my own mind or not.
I'm just about ready to go back to 3.1 right now.
God dang it I don't have a lava lamp 😔
ignore the haters drink the lava lamp
I'm sure we'll catch up to the modern ways in a decade or so 🤷🏽♂️
My place is still living in the stone age by comparison (12 characters changing every 60 days) and it makes me SO MAD.
🎶 hold me closer necromancer 🎵🎶
Here’s a fun fact I made up: Ed Sheeran wrote “Shape of You” about a rotisserie chicken
It's all a matter of money…🥥🥥
It'll be back, these things come and go sometimes. It's just good to see you on the feed again 🙂
😔🫂
Pretty sure my will to live falls into that category…
The dinosaurs probably thought they were having a normal Tuesday too
When you think about it, air fryers are just easy bake ovens for adults
Slept in a Children of Bodom shirt, woke up on a Bed of Razors
Me: "heres my idea: its a horror game with cheese" E3 security: "ma'am, let go of the microphone" Me: *dragged off the stage* "IT'S CALLED PROVOLONE IN THE DARK AND-"
It's an expensive surgery to make your ballsack indistinguishable from a coconut. Don't ask me how I know.
Nice! 💪🏽🤘🏽
That's actually my emotional support anxiarrhea
Anxiarrhea: when you're so anxious you have diarrhea. At work. Probably.
That "may" is doing *a lot* of heavy lifting there 😄
❤️
Love you right back, Deeny. I'm sure it'll be fine, JUST FINE.
Slept in a Toto shirt, woke up in Africa
Forgot I was starting new meds today that may have funky side effects. So obviously I stayed up too late gaming and drinking wine. I'm sure nothing could possibly go wrong.
Me: “I’m pretty chill and don’t get too worked up over much” Also me: “if you don’t put your pillows into the pillowcases tag-first or completely remove the tags altogether so they don’t stick out when the bed is made, you’re an abomination and deserve to be hunted for sport.”