Profile banner
Profile picture

Bearded Stoner

@beardedstoner.bsky.social

cracked polystyrene man

created August 26, 2023

4,085 followers 905 following 4,431 posts

view profile on Bluesky

Posts

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social) reposted

In 1845, the Lowell Female Labor Reform Association petitioned for the first government investigation of working conditions in US history.

4/9/2023, 2:12:11 PM | 4 2 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Don't read the Times. Read my thread instead. bsky.app/profile/bear...

1/9/2025, 1:12:45 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

I don't know what the deal with the president is, but I hope he's receiving the best medical treatments RFKjr can think of.

1/9/2025, 12:37:55 PM | 99 15 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Marc Elias (@marcelias.bsky.social) reposted

J.B. Pritzker is 100% right. Please listen to him, pay attention, and join us in speaking out against authoritarianism and to protect free and fair elections.

31/8/2025, 3:30:44 PM | 7719 2443 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social) reposted reply parent

The Micheal Avenatti of Terry McAuliffes

30/8/2025, 1:19:53 AM | 32 4 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social) reply parent

30/8/2025, 1:23:01 AM | 6 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social) reply parent

The Micheal Avenatti of Terry McAuliffes

30/8/2025, 1:19:53 AM | 32 4 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Why, did he hear there were trans people in them?

30/8/2025, 1:17:40 AM | 30 6 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Earlier today I was thinking about how seeing Jaws in IMAX would fix me. I was right.

30/8/2025, 1:12:50 AM | 7 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

It's his time.

30/8/2025, 1:12:01 AM | 7 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

23/8/2025, 7:16:55 PM | 12 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture jamelle (@jamellebouie.net) reposted

i am far from an alarmist but i have been operating under this assumption since he won. it’s why i thought that he should have been asked, at some point, whether he intended to leave office on january 20, 2029.

22/8/2025, 7:38:52 PM | 3850 596 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

The lesson of the Trump Era is that there is no such thing as an overreaction. A lesson, of course, no one will learn.

22/8/2025, 11:47:08 AM | 10 4 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

I spent way too much time wondering if anyone would have the guts to ignore illegal laws and not enough time thinking about what if they don't even have to pass laws to make everybody fall in line?

21/8/2025, 11:05:51 PM | 8 2 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

We are the toughest, most tactical, manliest men to ever live on planet earth and if you so much as change one tiny design element on that restaurant logo we are gonna FREAK OUT.

21/8/2025, 10:57:32 PM | 36 13 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social) reply parent

For me it's "They DYED me this color." RIP Ossie Davis.

21/8/2025, 10:19:12 PM | 5 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Confirmed.

21/8/2025, 3:18:19 PM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

21/8/2025, 1:37:35 PM | 6 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social) reply parent

21/8/2025, 12:34:46 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave.

21/8/2025, 12:08:58 PM | 9 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Still working on my list: Women I Would Listen to Before I Would Listen to James Carville. Started 12 hours ago.

19/8/2025, 3:10:58 PM | 10 3 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social) reply parent

Anyway let's get back to the main issue which is that the people occupying us and detaining us, the people who want us dead, are paying too much for groceries.

19/8/2025, 1:09:30 PM | 6 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social) reply parent

Imagine a Democratic president sending the marines to occupy a majority Republican city or area. Imagine the military obeying those orders. Would never happen.

19/8/2025, 1:08:07 PM | 6 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social) reply parent

Imagine Democratic governors sending their national guard the occupy a majority Republican area. Imagine the national guard going along with that.

19/8/2025, 1:07:17 PM | 5 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Imagine a majority Democratic legislature detaining and holding one single Republican legislator captive. Now imagine law enforcement in that state cooperating and agreeing to enforce it. Never happen.

19/8/2025, 1:06:21 PM | 21 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social) reply parent

why do you say this to him when you know that he will kill you for it???

17/8/2025, 9:43:49 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Your children will always remember music memories. Like today, mine learned about how Warren G and Nate Dogg had to regulate.

17/8/2025, 9:37:01 PM | 4 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

When will the military occupation of U.S. cities stop? I don't know, but I predict not before November 3, 2026.

17/8/2025, 9:32:55 PM | 4 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

I feel like there's a technical term for when one territory of a nation-state sends soldiers to occupy another territory of the same nation-state.

17/8/2025, 3:25:22 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

For a faction that claims to despise cultural theory, they sure do a lot to validate radical readings of modern mass culture.

17/8/2025, 3:08:14 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Kneel before him.

17/8/2025, 3:04:03 PM | 7 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

previously on Diplomacy Theatre...

16/8/2025, 2:46:05 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

It takes historically low skill levels to be this visually owned by someone you physically tower over.

16/8/2025, 1:16:57 PM | 27 4 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

August you just try to get through somehow. Every year.

16/8/2025, 1:42:50 AM | 21 2 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

the biggest deals, so many deals

16/8/2025, 1:28:30 AM | 11 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Slowly dawning me in our New American Order that saying things like "January 6 was an insurrection" or "Teslas may as well have swastikas on their sides" or "Donald Trump was a corrupt racist pedophile" will have me sounding like Dale Gribble for the rest of my life.

13/8/2025, 1:18:06 AM | 16 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Who's been correct more often the last 10 years than Constitutional law professors?

12/8/2025, 1:32:43 AM | 17 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

I've thought a lot about it, and what would fix everything is [stuff that could never happen even if there are elections and Democrats win them all for the next 20 years].

12/8/2025, 12:26:34 AM | 7 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Zombie William Seward, arise.

11/8/2025, 5:05:19 PM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Sure, fine, why not. Nobody could distinguish an AI hallucination from a Roberts Court constitutional interpretation anyway.

11/8/2025, 4:51:09 PM | 6 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Only I know the difference between Distractions and Real Issues and you will only find out via my Patreon.

11/8/2025, 4:48:41 PM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Brandy Jensen (@brandyjensen.bsky.social) reposted

I find the dildo thing pretty appalling so I wrote a bit about why

10/8/2025, 2:20:30 PM | 3220 710 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

wake up, get informed/depressed

11/8/2025, 12:40:13 PM | 21 2 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Been feeling so relieved since Epstein brought Trump down. Now we can finally put that ugly period behind us and get back to normal.

10/8/2025, 11:18:42 PM | 7 2 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

@shutdownfullcast.bsky.social The comments in the recent podcast business announcement about avoiding AI and gambling money sounded like they were written just for me. Had no choice but to pledge 4 monthly dollars to y'all in perpetuity. Huzzah!

9/8/2025, 9:39:17 PM | 7 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Where would he have gotten an idea like that?

9/8/2025, 1:48:07 AM | 37 10 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Let me guess. The delivery system will be Flavor Aid.

8/8/2025, 8:02:25 PM | 25 6 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

The president can't declare himself a king. In our system of checks and balances, only the courts can declare the president a king.

8/8/2025, 7:57:09 PM | 17 3 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

I don't practice religion or astrology, but I do believe in patting my car on the hood and thanking it after a successful road trip.

7/8/2025, 4:03:10 PM | 18 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

There's no Genghis Khan of anarcho-syndicalism. And that's a problem.

3/8/2025, 2:18:56 AM | 6 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Just once I'd like to get on a horse, tell someone "I'll see you in hell," yell "H'yah!" and ride off into a bleeding sunset.

2/8/2025, 12:50:08 AM | 9 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

I don't know what "the Sydney Sweeney thing" is and I'll unplug the internet if anyone tells me.

30/7/2025, 9:04:00 PM | 19 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Our finest thespian strikes again.

30/7/2025, 9:02:47 PM | 9 2 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

I wonder why politicians, private corporations, and rich people are all-in on a new technology that's already diminishing people's critical thinking and problem solving skills.

30/7/2025, 7:04:08 PM | 47 11 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social) reply parent

No doubt Dwayne is the biggest mainstream crossover star. I was thinking more biggest star internal to the sport. Hell, Hogan is probably still the correct answer but I wanted to have a little fun at his expense.

26/7/2025, 6:50:57 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

I don't know why we're still trying to find the Joe Rogan of the left when Superman said kindness is punk rock and won the summer.

26/7/2025, 6:37:43 PM | 57 10 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social) reply parent

Pray you don't hear breaking glass.

26/7/2025, 6:37:04 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Mainstream outlets and pundits lauding Hulk Hogan as wrestling's "greatest star" should know that Stone Cold Steve Austin can hear you.

25/7/2025, 5:03:59 PM | 12 3 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social) reply parent

Let me know if you find out? Please and thank you.

25/7/2025, 1:54:07 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social) reposted

1997 is... [checks notes] ...before 2016. It is currently 2025.

25/7/2025, 2:57:04 AM | 9 3 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

1997 is... [checks notes] ...before 2016. It is currently 2025.

25/7/2025, 2:57:04 AM | 9 3 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Finally got his ass.

24/7/2025, 9:13:05 PM | 8 2 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Undertaker closes in on Hulk Hogan
24/7/2025, 5:45:41 PM | 9 2 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

If only Macho Man had lived to see this day.

24/7/2025, 5:20:49 PM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social) reply parent

Ozzy. The Hulkster. 80s icons are dropping like flies. Protect Mr. T at all costs.

24/7/2025, 5:08:37 PM | 7 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

He survives another one.

24/7/2025, 5:07:01 PM | 10 2 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Grotesque Old Pedophiles

23/7/2025, 8:45:02 PM | 20 3 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Pema Levy (@pemalevy.bsky.social) reposted

In the midst of Trump battling his base over his handling of the Jeffrey Epstein case, the State Department gutted its office dedicated to combating human trafficking. State officials said the cuts targeted "outdated" and "parochial interests." www.motherjones.com/politics/202...

17/7/2025, 3:18:37 PM | 149 89 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Every time I see the cursed phrase "toxic empathy" I'm punched in the gut all over again at how upside down shit is.

17/7/2025, 9:01:57 PM | 27 2 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

It's dad's night out and you know I'm ready to party because I took a Tums.

17/7/2025, 8:58:37 PM | 10 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Was at a gathering last night with people who'd all brought something from their state of residence to contribute. The guy from Kentucky brought bourbon. The lady from Minnesota made a quintessential hot dish. As the Texas representative, I brought an app that tracks everyone's periods.

17/7/2025, 5:15:45 PM | 35 4 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social) reply parent

The response to the Supreme Court declaring Trump a king is to...play softball with the court subjects.

16/7/2025, 3:41:19 PM | 8 3 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Elected congressional Democrats will never choose their supporters over their fascist colleagues.

16/7/2025, 3:39:26 PM | 12 4 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Pat McAfee sucks so much he should be announcing Supreme Court decisions.

15/7/2025, 12:11:04 AM | 75 19 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

There's nothing you could put after "Supreme Court Allows Trump..." that would surprise me. "Supreme Court Allows Trump Puppy Murder Plan to Move Forward." Yep, I'd say that sounds like the Supreme Court to me.

14/7/2025, 9:26:36 PM | 16 3 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Ask your doctor if Cialis is right for you.

That guy who lost the NYC mayor Democratic primary, I forget his name
14/7/2025, 7:42:38 PM | 15 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social) reply parent

He thinks he's Sipowicz with that short-sleeved button down smh

14/7/2025, 7:38:35 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

We're expected to "turn down the temperature" while John Roberts is allowed to burn down the republic.

14/7/2025, 7:37:28 PM | 62 22 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Credit where it's due. Tim Robinson has done it again.

14/7/2025, 7:29:06 PM | 8 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social) reposted reply parent

Everybody should write a little everyday with a pencil/pen and paper in a notebook just for you. A few lines about the sunset. A description of a bird. A mundane to-do list with the occasional insane aside.

track
8/4/2025, 2:38:16 PM | 10 2 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Once upon a time a bad president responded to a big flood by saying the FEMA guy was doing "a heckuva job" and it was a scandal for weeks.

11/7/2025, 11:09:48 PM | 13 3 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

I went to the movies in a small town that used to be bigger. It had a classic old-school theater. As I reminisced about the romance of small towns that have seen better times, the movie previews started with an ad for a depression hotline followed by an ad for a rehab center.

11/7/2025, 8:27:07 PM | 8 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

I enjoyed the film about the Kryptonian refugee.

11/7/2025, 8:24:36 PM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

You wanna have hope in people, but then news breaks that people are out here fucking Ken Paxton.

11/7/2025, 12:07:28 AM | 58 4 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

too lickspittle too late

9/7/2025, 3:09:40 PM | 6 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Twitter is for nazis. If you're still on there, you may as well be working for the vice president's office.

9/7/2025, 1:26:15 PM | 5 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

"Hey, sorry your daughter died but we'll get 'em next year, team." You can totally see the charisma and charm that's made this guy Texas governor for 73 years.

9/7/2025, 1:18:42 PM | 9 2 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Poisoned fruit, nazi robots, an evil king. We live in THE FUTURE.

9/7/2025, 1:58:56 AM | 11 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Something tells me that the monsters who murdered USAID and assassinated the National Weather Service aren't to be trusted with the produce.

8/7/2025, 2:28:16 PM | 8 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Texas is a corrupt one-party state. The scumbag Republicans who run it constantly take credit when people and business move to [the most progressive counties in] the state, but start pointing fingers at everyone else when children die.

8/7/2025, 2:18:22 PM | 6 3 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Shit, man, their king can't even spell SAT.

8/7/2025, 2:03:28 AM | 9 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Third party? More like turd party sent skeet

6/7/2025, 8:53:05 PM | 8 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

I went to an "America Party" once. I had to show 2 forms of ID to get in, download an app to order food, and pay $400 for an aspirin.

6/7/2025, 4:10:11 PM | 14 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Nobody who can avoid it should come and everybody who is able should leave.

6/7/2025, 2:07:21 PM | 26 6 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social) reposted

celebrating your birthday by creating concentration camps and a gestapo

4/7/2025, 11:19:54 AM | 20 5 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social) reply parent

"It's arrogance!" "It's cowardice!" "It's access!" No! They like what's happening and crave more.

4/7/2025, 4:46:07 PM | 10 3 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Technically its problem is that it supports fascism, worships Donald Trump, and wants him to succeed.

4/7/2025, 4:44:11 PM | 25 6 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

Sorry. I don't consider MINORITY STUDENT REJECTED BY COLUMBIA news, exactly.

4/7/2025, 3:54:11 PM | 10 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

I guess it's the season but I initially read "AI-Hallucinated Coleslaw"

4/7/2025, 3:30:55 PM | 14 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner.bsky.social)

I don't know where exactly to place the line between "tacitly complicit" and "fascist rag," but I do know the New York Times is looking back at it.

4/7/2025, 1:17:58 PM | 9 0 | View on Bluesky | view