Yup definitely. And bruh, I dunno 🤣🤣
I used to be PariahSickKid and StuckontheX over on the birb site I cuss like a sailor I'm a huge Asshole I love cheese I'm a massive autStoner Elvis is alive and embarrassed to be from Amerikkka so he tells ppl he's from London n lives in a bridge tower.
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Yup definitely. And bruh, I dunno 🤣🤣
Whoa, like 7 of y'all obviously missed your nap. Bc y'all are being ugly up in DMs. Y'all need to go to bed early.
Yeah I remember Louisiana and texas.
Wait, wait... Please tell me one of them is truly dead as in buried on a golf course dead.
I am not a fan of gwen stefani. I do appreciate that she taught a lot of people how to spell "bananas" properly though.
That's 5 yrs away.
Wait... What? How??
LFG!!!!
Also if you yell dammit Janet while you do it.
it's okay if you stab someone in the face as long as you say, "OMG LOL" after you throw the knife in the ocean.
Oh Sherry killed me, and I wished so much my name had been Sherry. Wheels in the sky gets me too.
Subway could do something awesome and offer two for one subs, one to eat, one to throw
That's awesome, sometimes ppl need to do for others, bc it makes us feel needed, and it is very satisfying to help.
This and the dumb granny takin it to the face are my fave 2 mentos vids
I'm so fuckin disappointed he's alive. So DISAPPOINTED.
[public bathroom] ME (calling into a stall): doing okay sweetie? 6YO NIECE: yeah it’s a good poop ME: what makes it a good poop 6YO NIECE: it didn’t happen in my pants
First that vid was from May 15. Second the store was closed, hence the till was open to show it's empty. Man these ppl keep fake newsing everyone into coma n death. Shut up n drink more wine Janny.
Revolting how we constantly suck in food and squeeze it back out 🤢
Vain vane vein veiny...
Anytime.
I broke @fratboyamy.bsky.social with a food meme. I'm very ashamed of m... No no I'm not bc it was hella funny. She's lucky I didn't send her my fave incel of the 90s pic I think someone on ICQ sent it to me.
I'm barely in my own DM.
Not fucking tell a soul.
Come on now have we learned nothing he’s just going to announce that he’s selling digital Trump funeral prayer cards for $149.99, limited time only
He's gonna apologize to this lady for fucking up her rose garden TWICE in 10 yrs.
They are snatching innocent people off the streets while wearing masks. Why would anyone visit here?
Duuuuuuude
Fatass You guys are mean, I'm going home Don't call me fat ass!
He's such a garbage human
This is very true. Wyte women would trespass to pet the big horned cows. (Bulls are never amused by either ppl or petting) I always pointed to the no petting, no trespassing, not responsible for injury signs.
Sous chef told everyday, several times a day, no pumpkin lattes in my kitchen. Had one again today, and then freaked out when a lobster escaped the basket and spilled 20 gallons of tomato sauce. It splashed the entire 700 square foot kitchen. Had to close restaurant for the night to clean n paint.
I might be a total ass most of the time, but I completely understand medical. And I get how freaking exhausted mentally, physically, and spiritually it all is.
I get that. I never found him funny, but I could ignore him. Now he's out loud fascist.
Jimmy Fallon has always been a chode tho.
New plan: we get Obama to demand the death certificate
I have a bladder surgery coming up, cadaver muscle to fix control issues. Yay dead ppl muscles.
I did chemo as a 'not expected to survive thyroid cancer' guinea pig. For 11 yrs, and I'm still here 8 yrs past the all clear appointment to stop chemo. I know what worked for me, if you ever need to talk or anything, you know where I am. You got this.
I got overheated when I was cleaning up the tomato sauced kitchen, so I showered in cold water n still needed ice packs to cool down. I sincerely wish I could control my body temp. Just one more thing the pedophiles broke on me.
Bone-Petite mushy cap.
I can make one. I sew, I've been handy with stuff my entire life.
So cute! Soap n water n a little touch up, perfect! Anti-chemo-shit-feels hugs my friend 🫂❤️
I love that top! I could wear one like that.
You don't scare me, I was once turned into a corgi n eaten by a crocodile in a book. And was a really bad space pilot who kept crashing n killing ppl in another book.
Yep, he apparently giggles when he crashes into the car behind him when reversing in.
I know that there are RUMORS of my death circulating on dead social media platforms and fake NEWS media but here is clearly a picture taken today as proof of life, I have a newspaper with today's DATE in my hand but we removed that so that we don't promote liberal rags
Thanks.
He kept failing the parallel parking. But he had a learner's permit.
Sooner than now.
I miss my tractor. Kubota. Custom red with magenta glitter coat. She was pretty. And ppl knew us. Helfdane was welcome in stores n I never got in trouble for going thru the McDs drive thru. Cops were always amused about calls for goat on a tractor.
We had goats. I miss Helfdane. A rocky mtn dude. Rode on top of my tractor. Tractor surfing.
Bob. And the lyrics are Hefty Hitler is dead
Oh please do, and make it hilarious.
I know. We grew everything in front n back yards. And then my older brother inherited a farm from his paternal grandmother. I miss the farm.
Same!! Matching outfits!!
I'll do it, I'll end him. I belong in a prison anyway, I'm apt to snap one day n take out an entire tourist ship, bc tourists. Preventive lock up.
I love Canada. Home Owner's Association. An amerikkkan rules thing where they try to make neighborhoods look cookie cutter sophisticated instead of just letting ppl live. The objective is nice lawns n no run down houses. Epic fail bc it starts wars n disputes.
Exactly. They would have gotten more money with all the patches n upgrades I would have needed on a new server.
I hope you find an Easter egg with $30 inside today. Or maybe one with pulled pork.
I'm still mad I lost hundreds of bucks on Steam when I left the US. Bc apparently they cannot transfer my crap games to a UK server, bc not compatible.
Right? I gave it this look.
Septic gray water area? No mower? No HOA? Wait, I got it... Pet Cemetery.
Uh ma'am this is not a Wendy's
I'm clean n the dogs are clean n Rotten threw a temper tantrum bc I turned the water off. So I filled the wading pool out front n threw a bunch of towels on the floor in the foyer for him to roll on. Never knew a rottweiler so obsessed with water.
I have doubts the LTG wrote this article word for word (it's polished). But the sentiment is his. And I fully agree with this: We must make FEMA a Cabinet-level agency capable of standing on its own. Emergency management is a mission on its own, not a part-time function of Homeland Security.
The world is burning down. Betray everything you believe in, abandon the person you are pretending to be. Cut all ties and have a strawberry Fribble from your local Friendly's. (Promoted content)
Ok time for a shave n a scrub. My noggin not my crotchesaurus, and autocorrect is crackin me up look at this shit.
You're so lucky to have my hilarious ass thinkin good shit up.
LTG Honore knows a lot about a lot of things, including how to respond to a disaster and how to conduct military operations in a US city. When the National Guard arrived in NOLA, residents were fearful. "Get your guns down!" As soon as they put away their weapons on his order, it went smooth.
Would it be incredibly petty of me to use her last paycheck to have the kitchen repainted? Give my regulars her phone number so they can bitch at her instead of me?
It's called stealing the defibrillation paddles in the entire hospital and doing the Jane's Addiction been caught stealin shuffle out the nearest exit.
Fuuuuuck.
2025 is like falling off a cliff but it takes so long you give up on screaming
Grab life by the horns. Then impale yourself with them.
I shoulda taken pics of the sauced kitchen. Imagine a lobster jukin around in the elevator blood wave scene from the Shining. We had to close unexpectedly for tonight. A whole night's profit wasted bc a sous chef couldn't handle no pumpkin lattes and a live lobster on the floor. Jeebus chrispy.
At the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar
An investor friend once brought me into a business deal to help evaluate two different scuba businesses, one in Hawaii and one in Florida. My job was determine which business would be more profitable in the long term and what changes would need made with either to maximize profits.
Dude your ass got phat.
I'm dying waiting for that headline.
Seth is awesome. He makes me laugh with hashtag games. I follow artists, bird watchers, photogs, musicians, authors, dv survivors, sex trafficking survivors, mechanics, chefs, bartenders, medical folks, farmers, educators, a couple footballers, some baseball ppl n a shit ton of brits; I'm eclectic
Ok time for a shave n a scrub. My noggin not my crotchesaurus, and autocorrect is crackin me up look at this shit.
May I just say as a species, wyte ppl are like bottom of the barrel disgusting entitled fuckcharlies.
Excellent, not only do you have a swamp, but you have a (non) petting zoo situation.
I mean we'll need a few gallons of pumpkin spice latte for the fuckdouche cunt I fired today, so ...
a twist to the left and the loo in the neighbour's flat downstairs flushes
Sweet job!!
Have I told you lately that I loves you
It's prolly moldy.
I was thinking stockade and reversing the shop vac full of 20 gallons of filthy tomato sauce and mop wash.
The award ceremony will be at Four Seasons Landscaping.
Absofuckinglutely
I should go shave my hair n wash the dogs. I'm a fuckin mess
I love being sensitive to the air pressure and the polluted air. So good for headaches, itchy watery eyes and painful skin.
Love you my goofball friend
