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Chris Wagner

@chriswagner.bsky.social

Four strings and a mic. Kids, dogs, Jayhawks, Chiefs, Royals. Politics/legal post sicko. "KAAAN, SAAAS, CITY!" Punk rock and skateboards save lives. Need bass on your record? Come find me: https://linktr.ee/chriswagner

created April 7, 2023

604 followers 1,332 following 1,716 posts

view profile on Bluesky

Posts

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

What are the consequences though? Pritzker already knows what's coming - why not rattle the cage?

3/9/2025, 12:10:41 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Sowing leaker mania inside the White House.

3/9/2025, 12:08:28 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Entertain the possibility that he doesn't actually have Intel but is just sowing paranoia.

3/9/2025, 12:02:34 AM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Guy is an absolute mensch. One of the nicest people you could ever meet.

2/9/2025, 12:53:16 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

DAMN: "Skechers years"

2/9/2025, 12:51:28 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Fox guest spot pending.

31/8/2025, 11:10:35 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

(LITERALLY twenty minutes ago I drove past there and there is a guy standing on the corner with a sign saying "Shitty Service Department")

30/8/2025, 8:48:23 PM | 9 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

IT'S CRAZY THAT I KNOW THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THE OWNER OF PREMIER VOLVO IN OVERLAND PARK KS WOULD DO BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE I USED TO GET MY CAR SERVICED AND THEY SUCK!

30/8/2025, 8:47:28 PM | 14 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

William Gibson warned us.

30/8/2025, 8:05:59 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Literally my only superpower.

30/8/2025, 4:45:41 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Marshall was an OB/GYN, not a dentist. Now he's just a fluffer.

30/8/2025, 2:20:55 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Intern, PLEASE tell your boss how stupid this looks. He thinks it's "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall," but it's really "Old Man Yells [Into The] Cloud." If he remains unconvinced, quit and save yourself.

29/8/2025, 11:27:54 PM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

More of a Powerade guy huh

29/8/2025, 2:01:35 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

He could bathe in caviar now.

28/8/2025, 1:28:30 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture LorennaCleary.bsky.social (@lorennacleary.bsky.social) reposted

A 5th grader explains that his schoolmate shielded him. That friend is now in the hospital after taking a bullet while shielding his classmate. They are only 10 years old.

27/8/2025, 7:28:54 PM | 703 262 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social)

Spoiler alert: the former.

26/8/2025, 12:37:41 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

My God, it's full of *****

26/8/2025, 1:01:29 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Big time Gorka vibes.

26/8/2025, 12:59:31 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

"It will be celebrated."

23/8/2025, 10:41:45 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

This guy has strong opinions about age of consent laws

23/8/2025, 10:38:08 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

You've got to be fucking kidding.

23/8/2025, 9:03:00 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

I would've said Real ID until now.

23/8/2025, 6:54:37 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture John Leavitt (@leavittalone.bsky.social) reposted reply parent

Once again, under the current US mode of production everything eventually becomes a bank or a real estate company

23/8/2025, 4:34:22 PM | 66 11 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Then we get Vance, who is somehow worse.

23/8/2025, 4:43:45 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

IRS!

23/8/2025, 4:40:58 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

(never) More please

23/8/2025, 4:40:02 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Gabby HC has another book out (@scriblit.bsky.social) reposted

Inky raven in the study by the doorframe Who watches over me Make a little birdhouse in my grief Not to represent my depression Say 'Nevermore' when I ask you questions Make a little birdhouse in my grief

23/8/2025, 2:36:30 PM | 182 46 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Similarly blown away, lol these many years later. I literally read his tweet ANNOUNCING WHAT HE WAS GOING TO DO, then he did it and the entire world lapped it up. My dad brought over an article of his about BLM!

23/8/2025, 2:04:37 PM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

And she still rules! It takes nothing away from her!

22/8/2025, 2:54:40 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Oh God... I'm gonna be the bubble-burster. Jerry Harrison played that on the record. With a synth.

22/8/2025, 2:51:27 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Caulfield would work for DOGE

22/8/2025, 2:43:44 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Pen posting! I'm like a moth to a flame. Diving down the pens for sketching rabbit hole. Two TWSBIs, a Sailor fude, and a Tachikawa...

19/8/2025, 4:58:18 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social)

Go Fash, No Cash.

17/8/2025, 1:26:37 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Micah (@rincewind.run) reposted

some thoughts on Newsom: 1. the reason I am desperate for Literally Anyone Else to be the standard bearer is specifically his stance on trans rights - he's been bad on other issues, like homelessness, but I really worry he'll lead the Dems towards Labour if he's the guy in charge

15/8/2025, 3:50:48 PM | 3415 508 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social)

HOW ARE WE LOSING TO THESE MORONS

14/8/2025, 10:26:22 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

That's not Trump's claim though - he maintains that Black mayors hold the leash too tight.

14/8/2025, 12:43:00 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Colin Spacetwinks (@spacetwinks.bsky.social) reposted reply parent

it keeps pulsing in my head that the greatest weapons the republicans have on elected democrats is not any sort of totally made up propaganda and media cycles attacking them, it is "if you wanted to stop us, you would have to work late"

28/1/2025, 1:23:29 PM | 678 103 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture jamelle (@jamellebouie.net) reposted

my latest is on the president’s abuse of emergency powers and his psychological and practical interest in crisis government. gift link. www.nytimes.com/2025/08/13/o...

13/8/2025, 9:50:39 AM | 2544 638 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

KC: "You have my brisket!"

12/8/2025, 12:49:01 AM | 85 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a Bosendorfer...

10/8/2025, 3:50:58 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Thiel is a fucking dunce. HOW has he managed to convince people that he's smart?

10/8/2025, 12:56:19 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Don't need a syllabus

9/8/2025, 5:49:35 PM | 3 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Hasn't been my experience, but I take your point. There's some risk to consider.

8/8/2025, 7:47:17 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Alternate take: follow your two-drink max rule, but stay for the convos with your bosses after they've been "overserved".

8/8/2025, 7:44:28 PM | 31 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Saladino is Liver King's business partner, if I remember correctly.

7/8/2025, 2:31:26 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Missed the last Lawrence show - which venue this time?

6/8/2025, 5:49:12 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Andrea Pitzer (@andreapitzer.bsky.social) reposted

So many of you wrote asking for a primer on how to push back against ICE's presence where you live! So this week's Tuesday post skips the usual history lesson. Instead, I talked to Oliver Merino of the Immigrant Legal Resource Center, who offered a lot of specifics on how to take action near you.

5/8/2025, 8:34:38 PM | 579 274 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

This is a Silver Alert if it's anyone else

5/8/2025, 6:19:08 PM | 0 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Postal Inspectah Deck is ready for confirmation

4/8/2025, 3:09:37 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Rap Shadow Cabinet wen

4/8/2025, 2:30:32 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Eh, I wouldn't go THAT far... but my people did me proud here.

3/8/2025, 1:59:15 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

1a., 1b.

1/8/2025, 7:32:06 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

The Round Trip of Shame

1/8/2025, 6:08:29 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Dolphin-dick availability will be covered in the next round of deregulation, I'm sure

1/8/2025, 1:09:18 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Democracy Now! (@democracynow.org) reposted

Palestinian American Student Sereen Haddad Wins Diploma Withheld by VCU over Peaceful Protests www.democracynow.org/2025/7/30/he...

30/7/2025, 6:12:34 PM | 382 109 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

ONE IN EIGHT! Holy shit.

30/7/2025, 3:33:43 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

This post gave me aural flashbacks to my parents' CD collection. Now I'm gonna have Basia running through my head all day.

30/7/2025, 1:19:50 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Harsha Walia (@harshawalia.bsky.social) reposted

Gaza Freedom Flotilla has released statement that Black labour leader Chris Smalls (Amazon Labour Union) faced violence that no one else on Handala did. He has been severely beaten in Israeli custody. Smalls follows in legacy of Black radical tradition for Palestine. Labour must stand for Smalls.

image
29/7/2025, 3:20:19 AM | 3230 1538 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social)

Of COURSE this chump had to disable replies - he's getting rightfully blowtorched. Quoting a disgraced former mayor's critique of the policing policy of a not-yet mayor regarding an event that happened on the current mayor's watch? Reverse Picasso.

29/7/2025, 7:11:19 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social)

Literally all SA would have to do is dangle the idea of Trump Cape Town to get him to reverse

29/7/2025, 7:04:31 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Just word-replace "reform" with "pay to play" in any Republican statement and everything makes more sense.

29/7/2025, 4:07:20 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

If more states allowed sales back to the grid, would this alleviate the imbalance? Even better: ability to donate excess to a low-income pool to help offset their power costs.

29/7/2025, 4:04:20 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Have you accepted Baphomet as your wooly-legged savior?

29/7/2025, 2:35:18 AM | 6 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

That photo

28/7/2025, 6:45:39 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Kendra "Gloom is My Beat" Pierre-Louis (@kendrawrites.com) reposted

An Egyptian dude figured out that if you partially filled a plastic bottle with rice and other grains and threw it into the ocean from Egypt at the correct place given currents the bottles would wash ashore in Gaza within 96 hours so ordinary Egyptians are doing it and... it's worked?

27/7/2025, 11:59:54 AM | 3663 1002 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social)

Honestly I'd be too busy working up a mouthful of spit

27/7/2025, 9:43:32 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture David Waldman (@kagrox.bsky.social) reposted

Guys, I think it’s the whole Republican Party.

27/7/2025, 12:33:11 AM | 211 68 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Elise Flynn (@eliseflynn.bsky.social) reposted reply parent

www.dailykos.com/stories/2025... Each part lists Republicans busted for child porn, possession, distribution, trafficking, etc. *Best* follow ever is Beks at @antifaoperative.bsky.social who is amazingly still sane after posting links to arrests of cops, church leaders, MAGAs, etc. for same thing.

27/7/2025, 5:10:43 PM | 97 55 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Hush

27/7/2025, 12:37:01 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

That or ollieing a shopping cart.

26/7/2025, 10:41:59 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Red-faced grade-school soccer coach Ernest Borgnine looking motherfucker screaming some shit at me and I scream back "I'm trying my best goddammit!" My dad laughing his ass off on the sidelines...

26/7/2025, 10:41:19 PM | 9 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

I hope it was agonizing.

26/7/2025, 10:38:12 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Solomon (@solomonmissouri.bsky.social) reposted

www.texasobserver.org/ice-prosecut...

26/7/2025, 8:11:22 PM | 72 39 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

From your lips to Jah's ears

25/7/2025, 8:09:11 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

"So far"

25/7/2025, 8:06:39 PM | 6 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Yep.

24/7/2025, 4:44:26 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

I've spent most of my professional life in open-plan offices. I've also spent that entire time trying to mitigate the distractions of working on an open-plan space.

23/7/2025, 6:12:26 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Theatrical release

23/7/2025, 3:41:09 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Shitting oneself to death a week's ride from home to own the Saracens

22/7/2025, 2:54:53 AM | 31 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Like, a screenwriting team would call it trite

22/7/2025, 1:07:45 AM | 6 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Reading a book, being told to go outside and play, so I took the book on the trampoline and read while I jumped.

22/7/2025, 1:04:07 AM | 20 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social)

Maybe two people will see this, but I'll ask it: Would one of the few "good" uses of AI be to digitally remove masks from and facially recognize ICE agents?

21/7/2025, 10:16:32 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social)

*shudder*

21/7/2025, 10:14:02 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

📌

20/7/2025, 2:58:44 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Not diagnosed yet (physical next month) but I've read a little about sonic treatments - any experience?

20/7/2025, 2:58:27 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social)

And the women of New York breathed a sigh of relief

19/7/2025, 9:27:23 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social)

Nice "14 Words" call-out in the middle

19/7/2025, 1:47:48 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Picnic at a park in LA when we noticed the Family Ties Cast vs. Crew softball game in progress. Got Michael J Fox's autograph. I was in 6th grade and towered over him. Tina Yothers snubbed me. Sadly, no Justine Bateman.

19/7/2025, 1:24:46 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Trump would never stand for (lol) that tactic.

18/7/2025, 2:22:54 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

That's a terrible acrostic

18/7/2025, 2:00:44 AM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

We're used to it.

17/7/2025, 8:16:41 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Pit stop on the way to Orthodoxy

17/7/2025, 12:10:40 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

About to die in the pit, etc.

16/7/2025, 7:05:39 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

"Gobshite" really is the platonic ideal insult

16/7/2025, 11:19:35 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Aaron Ross Powell ☸️ (@aaronrosspowell.com) reposted

It's always interesting, in an inconsistently applied principles sense, when you come across people who simultaneously argue the answer to fights about curriculum in K-12 is only "School choice!," but then believe individual universities should be compelled to make their curriculum "more diverse."

14/7/2025, 6:31:11 PM | 16 5 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Griff "Grza" Sombke (@grza.bsky.social) reposted

Jesus Christ... www.bellinghamherald.com/news/politic...

13/7/2025, 2:32:02 AM | 2187 1110 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Gonna steal "bladders of bias"

13/7/2025, 12:46:59 AM | 6 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

Every part of the state not located in Kansas City or St Louis hates Kansas City and St Louis, and will keep voting in these ghouls out of spite.

11/7/2025, 11:00:00 PM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Chris Wagner (@chriswagner.bsky.social) reply parent

If I never hear the word elevated again it'll be too soon.

11/7/2025, 2:11:06 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view