cooldaveb.bsky.social

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

Fuck guys who “resell watches”.

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

He’s just so shameless about it…

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

My tu mamy kangury… ale zgadzam się, że pedagogika powinna być świecka.

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

Why don’t you pray in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up first?

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

Mieszkam w Australii. Co to jest KK?

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

No man is an iland, Gneiss. I salute thee!

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

Ok, I see it’s called Thizz. Not as good as

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

OMG I love Mac Dre! Didn’t realise he was still a thing. I hope his currency is called Hyphycoin…

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

I sent my 16-year-old daughter to a colorectal surgeon, and he wouldn’t even examine her. “Nothing to be gleaned from poking at her arse”, he said. The good ones are out there; I apologise for the perverts.

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

That’s fucked up. I see 0 reasons why a doctor would need to see a 12-year-old alone.

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

We doctors are happy to have a trusted companion in the room for most stuff, because patients don’t remember everything we’ve told them. Occasionally we need the patient on their own.

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

It’s not a war, it’s a “special military operation”

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

I’m not even American and I care about the White House. Surely it’s not the symbol of unalloyed evil that you imply?

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

I feel like the regular plume of E Coli on my toothbrush keeps my immunity up 😆

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

I see someone doesn’t have an ensuite

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

The registrar couldn’t find “David” in The Book. My dad almost went with “Paul” until some kind of “Supplementary Book of Weird Names” was located.

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

There it is! Thank you, Penetrator!

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

I was almost not called “David” because it wasn’t on the list

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

💯

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

Please explain

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

100% Super Hans

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

I will pair for the repairs just to have got air once in my life.

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

I knew you wouldn’t let me down, Bjoern!

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

Is that, like, a key ring?

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

My donation centre used to give you a beer there and then.

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

Boooo! Not enough words crammed together!

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

That’s not even a rock, Slate. Get your shit together.

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

Go easy on the guy - he has cancer.

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

Then again, he DOES love his fighter jets…

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

I assume Ian is not a Dad. A Dad never throws out a cord.

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

Where might one acquire said twink Ghibli picture? Asking for a friend

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

For the annexation?

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

God bless them. It’s a journey they take us on when our own lives have become predictable.

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

What are you talking about?

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

They’ll flip. Children change roles faster than an underfunded pantomime cast.

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

You misunderstood. I meant the Polish-Turkish wars

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

“Don’t mention the War”

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

Relatable

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

I used to sing Polish gangster ballads to my kids

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

I thought you were a Yugo!

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

Who says Gen-Z invented cancel-culture?

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

If you get pepperoni, the vodka might hurt your mouth

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

Aby Pan był wodzem nowej koalicji antyrosyjskiej!

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

Ooof!

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

Are you an accountant? Because I have nightmares about being an unprepared doctor.

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

If you’re like me, it was about a complex case and everything goes wrong before you even see the patient

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

You had a nightmare that you were in “Everything Everywhere All At Once”?

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

It’s the reverse in my marriage

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

You are a monster

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

Booo!

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

W is looking positively presidential right now

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

My wife got a chemical peel gifted by her brother

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

That’s my wife’s breastfeeding chair!

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

Where I come from, we call it the cardiac sphincter

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

?

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

Repeating “Niagara Falls” in my head worked for me…

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

I have a PS5 VR gathering dust. Am I missing out on good games? I’ve only tried Horizon.

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

I admire your self-restraint

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

How do you keep the oil off the controller?

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

Sorry, Yahweh. (consonants are everything in Hebrew)

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social) reply parent

What even was that?

cooldaveb.bsky.social (@cooldaveb.bsky.social)

If a bridezilla is a mean and petulant bride, is a godzilla a mean and petulant god? In that case, I nominate Yahwe.