Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
I'll be 59 in 7 days. FML.
Cry "Havoc!" and let slip the hogs of war. - Sterling Archer
319 followers 393 following 217 posts
view profile on Bluesky Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
I'll be 59 in 7 days. FML.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
That poster reminds me of one of my favourite James Acaster jokes from "Mock the Week": Part man. Part machine. Part bird. Part drum. It's ... "RoboBongoCuckooCop!"
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
NOBODY has Been "finer"! The MOST FINE! Many people "are" SAYING!
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
Thanks. It wasn't an ideal childhood, but a lot of people had/have it a lot worse. And there's always sweet, life giving booze.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
The Golden Memories ... so precious.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
Without hesitating I said "Sure Dad. That's no problem.", and he replied, practically yelling, "Well I should hope that it's not a problem after everything I've done for you!". Sigh. He never offered to pay any rent, and never paid for groceries. After 6 months I was looking for a new apartment.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
My siblings and I, as well as a couple of his siblings, agreed that he was a Special Little Guy. Ex: when the parental units were separating, he called me and asked if he could stay with me a while until things got settled.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
I do believe that's what she means. My father was of the opinion that anybody and everybody that didn't like what he liked was "Stupid!" and/or "Just trying to be difficult."
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
This is a local shop, for local people! We sell white bread, also for local people!
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
I'm not sure if "stack up" is a typo or a mission statement, but I approve either way.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
I watched that clip and you could see the "WTF?" looks on peoples faces. Trump: The wars are over except they're still shooting and bombing . But the wars are over and everybody said "Sir! We have tears in our eyes because you ended the war!"
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
Hmmm. I don't know if you have this product (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manwich) in the U.K., but thematically I think the first line should have ended with "I cum like Manwiches". That said, if you're cumming like Manwiches, seek medical help.
Rachel (@rachmarie.bsky.social) reposted
Have a kitty. This floofy guy is Happy. He’s available for adoption in Minnesota through Kitty Revolution. You can learn more about him here: www.kittyrevolution.org/adoptablecat...
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
Not only wrong, but, according to my father, "Just trying to be difficult!".
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
Hal Smith (Catcher - Pittsburgh Pirates) is sick of your shit and just take the goddamn picture already.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
I re-watched this last week. Such a great film, with a lot of great performances, and the theme tune is a banger.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
If we stop collecting crime statistics we can say the numbers are whatever we want! Heck ... we don't even have to do that. We can just say that violent crime has gone down 1200% and the Rubes will believe it! GREAT!
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
FAKE CRIME! The Crime numbers ... the numbers are FAKE! THE CRIME IS REAL! Sean Duffy... I call him Sean ... he "is" AFRAID to ride the SUBWAY in New York! But in Washington ... there is a State and a City! Not many people know that! SMART! In the City ... very Terrible CRIME! I ALONE CAN FIX IT!
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social)
Overheard while walking past a small group of women chatting on the sidewalk: 73 years old last week and I've only seen the one pecker.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
My guess is he does 1 (one, wun) patrol shift for the photo op, and then gets promoted to a PR/liason position to best use his ... ummm ... star power(?).
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
Is he leaving out the context, or unaware of it? Potato/potahto.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
Nothing enhances the physical act of love like the potential for a traumatic head injury.
Pablo Hidalgo (@infinata.bsky.social) reposted
We need a Foghorn Leghorn for the left.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
"That's mathematics son! You can argue with me but you can't argue with figures!" - Foghorn Leghorn's application to be the new director of the Bureau of Labor Statistics
HappyToast (@happytoast.co.uk) reposted
I've got a back to the future detectorists print with a dent/tear at the bottom, free to a randomly selected good home. Follow/Like/Repost/Reply to be in with a chance of getting it.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
I love the poster, and with as grim as everything is, I'm feeling like a re-watch is long overdue.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
JFC. I'm sorry you're having to go through this, and that the bureaucrats just keep piling on the shite.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
Adding: his excuse for not knowing that fairly basic bit of Canadian geography was, "I haven't travelled that much". 🤷♂️
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
As a Canadian, I was equally gobsmacked to learn that a 30 year old co-worker, who was also a natural born Canadian, thought that Vancouver the city, and Vancouver Island the ... island, were the same place.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
I will not stand for this cancellation of Michigan J. Frog!
Your Internet Friend Tom Tomorrow (@tomtomorrow.bsky.social) reposted
oops I did it* again *wrote a cartoon www.dailykos.com/stories/2025...
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
I always thought the average reaction was: Guy.
Susie Dent (@susiedent.com) reposted
Sometimes the historical dictionary offers solace through the existence of an obsolete word that is sorely needed now. One of them is ‘respair’, recorded just once, in the 15th century. It means fresh hope, and a recovery from despair.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
To be fair, Uncle John didn't have a degree in "Battery".
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
And he's being recognized more and more I'm noticing.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
JFC. He's right though! Why ... just look at all them electric cars, and trucks, and bikes, all stopped on the side of the road, waiting for the wind and solar to pick up! If only there were a way to store electricity for later use! /s Did I mention JFC?
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
This feels like a "We'll give you a great deal if you let the new apprentice stone carver do some of their training on it" situation.
Emeritus Professor Calpol Titbath (@brainmage.bsky.social) reposted
Oh man a drag queen called Tobi Jugs
Tim Onion (@bencollins.bsky.social) reposted
when they close it all up, I do believe this will go down as the funniest video on the internet
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
The AI ... I call it the AI ... it's really so tremendous. It's all computer! But really, it's so many things. It's cyber. It's crypto. I really get this stuff. I took a test, and I had to remember 5 words, and I was like "OK ... the 5 words are cyber, crypto, Epstein, Epstein!, EPSTEIN!".
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
He's crepuscular!
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
Was “Vapour Ware” taken?
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social)
It’s 06:15 and I’ve been awake for over 3 hours. I guess it’s time to get out of bed. FML.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
Anything in particular, or everything in general?
Tom the Dancing Bug, by Ruben Bolling (@rubenbolling.bsky.social) reposted
🔵 This week's Tom the Dancing Bug comic - THE HEROIC TECH BILLIONAIRE LEX LUTHOR VS. THE EVIL "WOKE" ALIEN SUPERMAN! - Brought to you by the super members of the Inner Hive, including long-time member RobbÜry415 and new member Bill Schaffner. ( bit.ly/theInnerHive ) - Read it right here👇
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
"He's so perky! KILL HER!" - Crow T Robot
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
It happens with music as well, at least for me. I muck about with modular synthesizers, and the first semi-panicked improvisation after hitting "Record" is always better than any take after. My stoopid brane is always getting in the way of things.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
I'm very confident that something I've promised for years will actually happen Q2 of next year. - E. Musk
Pat Bagley (@bagleycartoons.bsky.social) reposted
Thought I would be taking July off. But couldn’t not draw this
BearyHappy04 (@bearyhappy04.bsky.social) reposted
‼️DEADLINE San Jacinto #California Tuesday 7/8 by 3pm‼️ Fitzgerald 🆔A1846862 2y Male 62lbs Long time resident 💛 24Petconnect.com/DetailsMain/... 📍 Location: Riverside County Animal Control - San Jacinto Shelter ☎️(951)358-7387 📧 transferdas@rivco.org #BlueskyDogs #Dogs #SoCal
Mark Watson (@watsoncomedian.bsky.social) reposted
MUSICIANS/SONGWRITERS OF BLUESKY. My novel One Minute Away comes out next week. The protagonist is, as well as a Deliveroo rider, a wannabe songwriter. There are some fragments of lyrics in the book and I'd like people to record songs in any style using them. Message me and I will DM instructions.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
Always keep 'em guessing. 👍
Robert Reich (@rbreich.bsky.social) reposted
Patriotism isn't about building walls, punishing immigrants, cutting taxes for the rich, attacking the press, or dividing us by race & faith. True patriots don't pander to divisiveness or hate. They work to confirm the "WE" in "We the People of the United States."
Felicia Day (@felicia.day) reposted
Streaming from 7am-3pm PST today to raise money for Papayago Rescue House in Atlanta for my birthday! Come by! Twitch.tv/feliciaday
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
The URL to the source article is in the ALT text. www.apolloacademy.com/no-signs-of-...
dropkick (@dropkick.bsky.social) reposted
can't form a very coherent thesis about this but i was thinking this morning about why the right so successfully permeates mainstream culture while the left feels more distant, and i was thinking that it's because punching down doesn't require you to understand your target, but punching up does
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
Nobody goes to Piccadilly Square anymore. It's too popular. - Yogi Berra
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
It's impressive when even Ron DeSantis thinks a power grab goes too far.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
Thank you for your attention to this matter!
Adrian Teal (@tealcartoons.bsky.social) reposted
A light and free-of-charge Sunday read about the thinking behind my Sophia Loren work-in-progress: open.substack.com/pub/tealcart... Re-posts hugely appreciated, as ever. x #caricature #art
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
I had to skim his Wikipedia page to remember who he was and ... he's 36!
BearyHappy04 (@bearyhappy04.bsky.social) reposted
Conroe #Texas WOULDN’T BUDGE FROM VOLUNTEER’S LAP “This guy really pained my heart. Surrendered by his owner & is obviously confused & worried. I carried him to a play yard where he carefully climbed into my lap & wouldn’t budge” 🆔 A415617 www.mcaspets.org CONTACTS BELOW👇(1/2) #Dogs #BlueskyDogs
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
Yep. Items #3 and #11 from Le Kit d'Espionage.
derek guy (@dieworkwear.bsky.social) reposted
NYC friends: this poor dog was almost on his freedom ride out of the pound when his foster didn't show up on him. He's now in danger of being put down. Do you have space in your home and heart to adopt him? ❤️ Also, lots of animals at this NYC shelter who need a home. nycacc.app#/browse/225834
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social)
You don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know what I'm going to do. (kicks you in the bathing suit area) NOW IS THE TIME FOR PEACE!
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
Very confidence inspiring that every time Rush keys the radio the external camera feeds went out.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
"I’m so sorry I couldn’t take everyone on but we will do it again, when I hope to be able to play you." And just like that, a Jimmy Carr joke gets its wings.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
This makes me want an animated remake of "Shakes the Clown". And despite it being just 06:30, it makes me want fries/chips.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
FAKE POWELL! - Agent Krasnov
cm 🇨🇦 (@cmcalgary.bsky.social) reposted
A dogs owner unfortunately passed away while the dog was in the kennel. They're trying to adopt her out. Riri. FB post: www.facebook.com/PupCityDayca... info@pupcity.ca #Calgary
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
Good! GREAT!
Bill Corbett (@billcorbett.bsky.social) reposted
Melissa Hortman and her husband were volunteers for Helping Paws, which trains potential service dogs. Please consider joining me to make a donation in their (and Gilbert’s) memory: helpingpaws.org
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
Agreed. They seem pretty chill.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social)
Some days require that I listen to Groove Salad Classic on @somafm.bsky.social as a reminder of a time that, while not perfect, wasn't so damn bleak. Today is one of those days. Hold on people, and if available, hold onto your people. We'll get through this.
Godspeed You! Bluesky Emperor (@andrewpaul.bsky.social) reposted
"Could it happen here?" i ask as i am corralled into the Human Death Arena in honor of Stephen Miller's birthday
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
I (was eventually able to) see what you did there.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
I missed it during the intro, but caught it during the credits, so to give them the proper respect, it's Jolibee the Durian.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
I started watching the "Tommy Wiseau, International Man of Mystery" video. Subscribed when Tor put the tie on the durian.
Andrea Grimes (@andreagrimes.com) reposted
Y'ALL 🥹🥹🥹 Fizzy finished her radiation treatments today and the vet sent us this
Evan Hurst (@evanhurst.substack.com) reposted
Secretary Sh*tfaced Orders Renaming Of USNS Harvey Milk, Because He's A Little Bitch www.wonkette.com/p/secretary-...
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
“The first 20 years were the worst, and the second 20 years, they were the worst too. The third 20 years I'm not enjoying much at all. After this I expect a bit of a decline.” - Me (with apologies to Douglas Adams)
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
The Secretary of Education gets all her briefings from A1.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
There's not enough logic gate based humour as far as I'm concerned.
Emeritus Professor Calpol Titbath (@brainmage.bsky.social) reposted
Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot Stop And My Mom Will Shoot Stop Xor My Mom Will Shoot Stop Nand My Mom Will Shoot Stop Not My Mom Will Shoot Stop Xnor My Mom Will Shoot
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
I never saw that one, but a similar account I followed was called FML (Fuck My Listings), that contrasted "nothing special but ridiculously expensive" properties in and around Toronto, with villas in Europe.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
I've only done that trip twice (Toronto -> Montreal, and the return), but I enjoyed it quite a lot. A vastly superior experience to flying out of Pearson. The train from Montreal to Quebec City? That wasn't so great.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
The president responded "I can not tell a lie. I did eat the last piece of cherry pie."
Henning (@henningo.com) reposted
Boston-area friends, come and hang out tonight at the Village Social Club in Brookline, MA. I'll be there playing a whole mess of songs from 8 until 10. It's free!
Bill Corbett (@billcorbett.bsky.social) reposted
Whether it’s his little kid, a wall, or the nerd Dracula whose wife he’s trying to impregnate, I am insanely jealous of whoever got to sock Elon Musk in the face.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
I also appreciate the juxtaposition of "Video Game Cartridge" with "Now A Video Game". Makes me yearn for "Video Game Cartridge: The Video Game: The Movie".
Noah Garfinkel (@noahgarfinkel.bsky.social) reposted
If you don’t call her Monica Mothman in your head and imagine her as a former camp counselor, we are not watching Star Wars the same way.
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
Tag me in on alternate Thursdays and you'll look so much better!
CrazyMyra (@outonthemoors.bsky.social) reposted
Dunno why they call it extraordinary. We have them every day
Count Dorkula (@countdorkula.bsky.social) reply parent
We must defend the XNOR gate!