I don't know why but the headline makes me think of the Cole Porter lyric... 🎵Have you heard Professor Munch Ate his wife and divorced his lunch?🎵
In my heart I am an actor, singer, and man about town. Unfortunately my heart is not a good agent. I think will give my spleen a try next.
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I don't know why but the headline makes me think of the Cole Porter lyric... 🎵Have you heard Professor Munch Ate his wife and divorced his lunch?🎵
Wait, you mean that ISN'T you? I'm confused.
Future tests will undoubtedly prove that he is 78.3% Stucco.
This is the Red Vines/Twizzlers thing all over again isn't it Josh?
Retail fold?
Not for nothin' but....do we really need like 15 versions of the Jardiance song?
New Name: The Mrs. Beasley Mysteries....
And he would have gotten away with it too....blah blah blah....meddling kids.
I didn't know you were allowed to sell Amway products in a federal building...go figure.
#OriginStory
youtu.be/LQiOA7euaYA?...
Brigadoon...?
What would happen if this abomination of a bill were to pass and then the people of this country were to refuse to pay their taxes en masse? Asking for 340.1 million friends...
Well at least it's not some outrageous price like $700.00!
Chocolate Malted, shaken not stirred...
Who needs an OCCASIONAL table!? It's either a table or it's NOT a table!!
Waste not want not... In her defense....no one complained...
Do you know who I am....?
I'm getting Greg Stillson vibes...
Oh SHOWTUNES!!....Now do "Tomorrow Belongs To Me" !
When I was studying at The Second City (in Santa Monica at the Mayfair Theater) during a private party I saw someone at the door and went to let them in. It was George Wendt. As I opened the door can you guess what I said? Yup...bet he hadn't heard THAT before!🙄 #RIPGeorgeWendt
Loved him in Trading Places and His Girl Friday...
Something I've been mulling over...
Lookin for some white Smokies....come on!
Remember it's not where you start it's where you Finnish.
Holds 4 titles? He can't convincingly hold a bottle of water.
Can I get a location....I heard Solitary....thank you.
Not Hopper and Fonda.... But Beggars....Choosers...
Yu-boo a-band mi-be bo-both pa-bal...
If I had to choose between meeting J.D. Vance and dying I would have made the same choice as Pope Francis... #RIPPopeFrancis
He was reportedly heard saying.."6 Dollar FOOT LONGS!!!? How is that a bargain when you had a whole jingle about ♫5 Dollar FOOT LONGS!!?♫" "Words have meanings my friends or my name isn't Edward Dozalatta Cocaine!!!"
Donald Trump is what you get when you model your Presidency on the plot of the 1981 movie Endless Love.
A VERY Mankiewicz response...
Witch better have my money...🎵
@marycmccormack.bsky.social it was a pleasure meeting you today on our/your shopping excursion (hope you found everything you needed) and tell you how much I admire your work and look forward to reading #WhatsNext? From a devoted "Wing Nut"
Forget puppies....she's hoping she'll get a chance to hunt "The Most Dangerous Game"...
@benmank77.bsky.social If only you'd have let us know this past weekend that your birthday was coming up we would have made a big deal about it and sang you a rousing chorus of..oh..I see the error in my logic now...in any case Happy Birthday! 🎂
He's like the annoying uncle who make your social security disappear behind your ear...
If I'm not mistaken there's a Steve and Eydie version as well...:::shudder
We can't all skate by on our charm....can we now...? Please no coins...these ladies don't have those Good Humor change makers as part of their costume.
@kellycarlin.bsky.social Just a reminder, it's that time of year again. We'd love to see you at the Jason Alexander 23rd Annual Celebrity Poker Tournament. one.bidpal.net/jasonalexand...
@meredithsalenger.bsky.social Happiest of birthdays to you...continue to shine from within and that light will warm the rest of us.🎂
Hello....?it's called Moolighting...in THIS economy it's no wonder.
No thanks...
You both give me hope for humor and goodness in this world....no pressure...
@wendyliebman.bsky.social Happy Birthday Birthday Buddy!! Birthday Blessings of Bliss and Beauty!! <3
Fish usually stink from the head....just sayin.
@stephencolbert.bsky.social got an idea for a bit on the show...enjoy!
Josh, it's OK you can use my name. You have my permission.
Legislators in Ohio and Mississippi want to fine men over $10000 for ejaculating without intention of procreation. If that law goes national watch how quickly #rfkjr will completely abandon researching a cure for cancer and point all efforts towards a cure for BLUE BALLS!
@danagould.bsky.social I think of you every time I go to the bathroom at work.... I should explain. There is a noise coming from the drop ceiling that sounds exactly like that moth that flew into your ear. I hope that clears things up. Give my best to Dr. Z. www.youtube.com/watch?v=SsrJ...
Great! Until someone thinks they can make a buck with him again and the whole cycle will start anew.
Wait, what was that last part...?
@dulehill.bsky.social It was such a pleasure to meet you at the tournament last year. I hope you can make it to this year's event as well. It will be held at the Skirball Cultural Center.
:::sings a slow and creepy version:::: ♫OUT....OF....THE...WAY...FOR......OLD.......DAN......TUCKER.....HE'S.....TOOOOOOOOOOO...LATE! TO GET.......HIS SUPPER!!!♫
The #GulfofMexico is now the #GulfofAmerica... And just like that it's 60th in literacy an has the lowest test scores of any industrialized Gulf.
@pattonoswalt.bsky.social I'd give you a gift for your birthday today but you already have the lovely @meredithsalenger.bsky.social which is gift enough for many lifetimes OK now that I'm done cyberflirting with your wife I wish you the happiest of birthdays Thanks for keeping us sane in dark times
The story goes...There was a Buddhist monk back in the day who supposedly slept with 5000 women. I tell you...it's always the quiet ones.
Or (and I'm hoping I'm using the right term here) bottom bitch?
@danagould.bsky.social I don’t often ask this of another man but due to current events I must …How’s your view shelf?
I'd rather watch something beautiful like, Oh, I don't know...The Princess Bride....or my video copy of Into The Woods...or if I must be political...some particularly romantic Leo/Jordan episodes of The West Wing....just sayin'.
I'm not sleeping well. I think it's got something to do with my repressed memory foam mattress.
Question about the Better Man movie. Where in the franchise does it come in? Logically I would think after Escape From... and before Conquest of...
It's right up there with Squeal of Death for me. Still love that gem.
Your dad's Gene Shalit is uncanny!
I assumed he'd add Again...and Naturally...Am I the only Gilbert O'Sullivan fan?
One thing I notice every time I watch is THE APARTMENT itself. It's loaded with things that must have been pretty advanced for the time. The (wired) remote control for the television & the same for the heated blanket in the bedroom. These must have looked cutting edge then. #TCMParty #TheApartment
Not a "stay" as much as an "experience"...
The whotles?
How do you KNOW it's Keith's birthday...I mean...were there calendars then?
Going to put a lot of pizza delivery guys out of work..
That's one scary dude... 😉
BREAKING: My Pillow Guy chosen as Ambassador to Dreamland.
I agree. Having said this, please continue to PUNCH Nazis.
Dedouche Mode
@danagould.bsky.social I was listening to your talk with Bob Fingerman and when you were discussing AI, I thought to myself there has to be some kind of middle ground between AI doing everything for us and...oh...let's say...Anthony Zerbe in The Omega Man.
You see, his dog is named spot and....
Been checking the danagould.com like some kind of Comedy Advent Calendar....which is weird since I'm Jewish. Gould bless us....every one!
Even Karens are getting in the Christmas spirit. This time of year they ask to see your manger. 🐄🐪🐑🐓
Ohhhhhhh! THAT'S The Greatest Story Ever Told!
Very exciting....as a luggage problem..
We can't all be Rip Van Winkle, now can we?
While heading through the park for my walk around the lake I came upon a village in the mist... Everyone there told me jokes that were so tasteless because no one there waits a requisite amount of time after a tragedy to tell these terribly offensive jokes. What is this place you ask? BrigaTooSoon?!
Random Thought File: P.G. Wodehouse. I assume that is a Wodehouse that is just a touch risque'?
AL is forgiven 😜
Quick Poll: What do these names have in common? Nathan Detroit Nicely-Nicely Johnson Harry the Horse Big Jule Benny Southstreet Hot Box Girls A. Characters from Guys and Dolls B. Trump Administration Appointees C. Both A & B
@realjoannagleason.bsky.social Come on in, the water is fine...a breath of fresh air!
I remember Dr. Z was nominated for an Emmy for his turn as the visiting veterinarian Dr. Hinkenlooper...great accent work. Season 2 Ep 12 - "Arnold Gets an Ear Infection".
I don't know about you but French people give me the crêpes. 🇫🇷
