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Goof Off, King

@cruft.bsky.social

created October 21, 2023

182 followers 24 following 366 posts

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Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Remember when he had really bad Covid and forced himself to do a wheezing fist pump on the White House balcony?

31/8/2025, 11:00:30 PM | 35 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Like this is definitely not prostate/gallbladder/hernia shit

30/8/2025, 9:45:02 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

My money is on heart shit

30/8/2025, 9:44:08 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Fun new game: what condition would require a hand iv, cause symptoms like the ones we’re seeing, and require a medical procedure that doesn’t lay you out for weeks but has enough of an outside chance of killing you people get their niceties in just in case?

30/8/2025, 9:43:41 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

(caveat, that might not be how any of this works)

30/8/2025, 12:50:55 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Wishcasting here but it could fall within a “I’m sure he’ll be fine” gray zone. Hell, they might not have even gotten the memo.

30/8/2025, 12:49:38 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

They all do what he tells them and none of them actually know what to do

30/8/2025, 11:48:59 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

gdi propter I’m trying to be calm and level headed here

30/8/2025, 2:23:13 AM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Locking in

d o m a i n e x p a n s i o n
30/8/2025, 2:03:56 AM | 9 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Oh.

30/8/2025, 1:50:31 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

I’m an optimist, I’ll say 80%

30/8/2025, 1:45:42 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

I dunno man I think most of them don’t have the nuts for actual conflict, they just want to ride his coattails

30/8/2025, 1:38:05 AM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

I know several people who hate Trump but think Vance is a Polite Young Man

30/8/2025, 1:36:34 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Oh it would be a disturbing amount

30/8/2025, 1:35:34 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

30/8/2025, 12:43:01 AM | 9 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Fun thought: if he revealed he had something terminal, do you think he’d resign or keep going until he literally couldn’t

29/8/2025, 11:49:22 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

I’m being kind of deliberately contrarian here but I’d propose the tension is that most guilty/juvenile/lowbrow art is more competently made than most highbrow/important/adult art.

29/8/2025, 9:09:28 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

he’ll yeah

28/8/2025, 10:47:05 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Is there theoretically a way someone other than the mayor could “invite” them? Don’t think so but they could be looking for a weak link in state gov

28/8/2025, 10:22:10 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Also, Matt isn’t describing “deal making,” he’s describing “being a wimp who gets rolled by the alpha dog.” Guys like Trump in a business setting treat a desire to deal as a sign of weakness.

28/8/2025, 4:41:54 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

When you only have one hobby, you tend to over-evangelize it

28/8/2025, 3:34:11 PM | 5 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Get their ass!

27/8/2025, 11:25:14 PM | 3 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Loved reading Ireland Is My Dad

27/8/2025, 6:46:29 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

BMI is absolute horseshit, it basically assumes you have the bare minimum amount of muscle necessary for your weight

27/8/2025, 5:34:54 PM | 6 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

It’s just a damn good movie regardless of genre. Tight plot, compelling and interesting characters, a fun mystery that doesn’t get lost up its own ass. All killer no filler.

26/8/2025, 6:25:19 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Hellllll yeah, I was hoping you’d like it

26/8/2025, 6:06:17 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Ok yeah that’s sobering

26/8/2025, 5:13:23 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

hm.

24/8/2025, 9:53:51 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

No idea if that timeline works out

24/8/2025, 9:11:16 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Could she, like, implicate his sons somehow? I don’t think he loves them but that’s one potential point of leverage

24/8/2025, 9:10:11 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

It’s cheesy, but the commencement speech about the marines, and the “sugar cookie” lesson, was one of the most helpful things for me on this

24/8/2025, 8:56:44 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Probably talking out my ass, but Newsom feels like a strong enough political animal to actually shift this number over time

24/8/2025, 3:00:02 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

lmao why’d you block bouie

23/8/2025, 3:46:34 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Didn’t believe it at the time, happy to say you completely called it

22/8/2025, 7:30:43 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Putting down a marker for when they rule, my current vibes sense feels like they’re gonna punt final decision to someone else somehow

22/8/2025, 2:57:37 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

I generally think Obama’s vow of silence strategy is bad, but this does make me reconsider my priors

21/8/2025, 4:20:12 PM | 7 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

I would commit felony crimes to prevent that tape from being broadcast

21/8/2025, 2:13:08 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Agreed! I don’t know enough of the hard science to say it with confidence, but my general read is both produce largely similar results

20/8/2025, 1:58:54 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

My real, non-nerd answer is when in doubt, find a weight that gives you a 7/10 exertion at 8-12 reps and calibrate from there. Jumping into high weight at low reps or spamming a movement incorrectly for 25 reps are both good ways to hurt/irritate your body

20/8/2025, 1:50:29 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Also matters what you’re training. Lateral raises are best served with 10-15 reps, anything less risks injury. Deadlift? You can go into the 3-5 rep range or lower depending on the program

20/8/2025, 1:47:17 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Both are good for different things. More sets with (relatively) lighter weight is good for size, fewer heavier is good for strength. At the end of the day, what matters most is rate of perceived exertion. Also commonly agreed that over 20 reps is endurance training.

20/8/2025, 1:45:55 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

That’s where I’m at too, thanks, genuinely not sure which fork it is.

20/8/2025, 1:02:49 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Oh yeah, that’s where my mind immediately went. I’m not convinced, wonder if it’s some weird legal thing around deputizing the nat guard or whatever

20/8/2025, 12:56:48 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Like, unless I missed something they were downright sheepish when the border agents were shot at earlier this year

20/8/2025, 12:54:38 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Is the consensus that they’re probably doing this to green light armed chud brigades? Feels very Stephen Miller, but it’s unstable even by their standards

20/8/2025, 12:53:49 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

For a lot of guys, beats introspection

19/8/2025, 6:59:10 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

This is a great format. You could even overlay your narration while the workout clips are going and get double the narrative juice

19/8/2025, 6:18:29 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

When forced to choose between “maybe I’m not terribly fuckable as a person” and straight from the tin misogyny, one choice is a lot more emotionally palatable

19/8/2025, 6:11:11 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

I came up in those online spaces, and it really kicked the legs out for a lot of guys when they couldn’t use the “girls don’t like nerds” excuse.

19/8/2025, 6:08:59 PM | 5 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

youtu.be/bDq2RvGBFd4?...

19/8/2025, 3:00:11 PM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

tbf Kash has chronic “I don’t understand why I’m being let go” face

18/8/2025, 11:23:37 PM | 10 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

It’s true, I enjoyed it immensely

18/8/2025, 11:16:38 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Dishonorable form. The pull up of a coward and cheat.

18/8/2025, 8:49:07 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

I take no pleasure in bringing this to your attention, @patrickwyman.bsky.social

18/8/2025, 8:46:30 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

“We are done asking.”

18/8/2025, 6:20:18 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Clear eyes, open hearts, stomach full of pickle broth. Can’t lose.

18/8/2025, 6:13:39 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

this is what you write when you want to let people know you’re being held hostage

18/8/2025, 5:48:10 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

ahoy-hoy!

18/8/2025, 1:21:23 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

True, but I think he does understand that if dems take the house, and somehow the senate, it massively impedes his fun

18/8/2025, 1:00:00 PM | 23 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Patlabor vs Godzilla

18/8/2025, 2:44:55 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

mmm delicious

14/8/2025, 9:02:20 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

It’s no coincidence the two most exciting anti-death inventions, mrna vaccines and glp 1 inhibitors, serve a public good

14/8/2025, 4:15:22 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

I’d be a lot more forgiving if literally any of their dumb shit worked

14/8/2025, 4:13:09 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

It’s also a garbage way to get all your protein, dude is eating way too much fat and paying more than if he just cooked chicken

12/8/2025, 4:43:26 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

They hated her because she told the truth

11/8/2025, 5:29:41 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Exactly. I really enjoyed gravity falls but come on guys it’s intended for kids before anyone else

10/8/2025, 9:19:42 PM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

This looks lovely, don’t be silly

9/8/2025, 8:34:27 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Not enough

8/8/2025, 11:48:09 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Reese's cups are pies.

8/8/2025, 10:17:46 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

middle manager ass, concerned conservative newscaster ass

7/8/2025, 8:40:00 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Googled it and wth is this

image
7/8/2025, 8:39:23 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

I’m shocked he made it this long, dunno how it works but I feel like he’d be welcome in a new admin

7/8/2025, 5:09:42 PM | 5 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

TASTE THE CLEANSING FIRE, NERD

4/8/2025, 9:49:08 PM | 5 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Penetration testing indeed

4/8/2025, 9:48:34 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

People can say whatever they want, but the joker wouldn’t care about the nazis, he wouldn’t respect them

4/8/2025, 8:57:37 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Hey, this sucks!

4/8/2025, 7:39:18 PM | 10 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Withholding judgement until I learn more (are we talking frosted oatmeal 🥰 or raisin oatmeal 🤮)

4/8/2025, 5:18:46 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Saw No Country for Old Men opening week. The lights came up and everyone just sort of walked out like they were leaving a funeral

2/8/2025, 2:14:04 AM | 38 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

I am a hard as nails operator ready for anything- hang on I need to adjust the angle of the carabiner by two degrees or I’ll scream

31/7/2025, 3:20:10 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

I think you’ve really hit on something in that they’ve probably tried making friends with the no-shit soldiers, were rebuffed/got scared, and settled for edgy discord teens

30/7/2025, 11:58:03 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

“bless your heart”

30/7/2025, 11:47:41 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Thank you, I was trying to figure out why he sounded so weird

30/7/2025, 11:46:09 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

cc @patrickwyman.bsky.social

30/7/2025, 1:04:18 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

hah, yep

30/7/2025, 2:46:59 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

I dunno dude, I think people will disappoint you

30/7/2025, 2:45:15 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

yep. unless/until the american economy well and truly collapses, I think people will be disturbingly quick to forget

30/7/2025, 2:42:24 AM | 8 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

maybe I'm too optimistic, but I think if the money and talent are there, and they are, it'll rebuild. Might take longer than we want, might not look the same, but I think it will happen.

30/7/2025, 2:41:17 AM | 17 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

This feels like the sea lions that snorted eels up their noses to impress girls

29/7/2025, 3:48:27 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

We’re really dragging ourselves through the mud

26/7/2025, 12:40:46 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

hooooo boy

26/7/2025, 12:39:17 AM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Right, like, voters are dumb but they’re not that stupid. Him waiting this long to try this move reads as desperation

25/7/2025, 6:44:45 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

But also in this case Trump is directly attacking one of his base’s biggest treats (fantasizing about righteously exposing a vast conspiracy) and I wonder if the desire for treats doesn’t win out here

25/7/2025, 6:38:46 PM | 5 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Knee jerk vibes brain says it kinda makes it sort of fizzle out but it’s like the Afghanistan withdrawal where no one’s happy and it never really recovers

25/7/2025, 6:37:05 PM | 5 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Late to the party, but do you know any good programs/strategies for fitting jumping into a lifting routine?

25/7/2025, 6:27:18 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

[In the corner of the party] mumble mumble Procter mumble mumble meal prep

25/7/2025, 4:11:28 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

Thanks!

24/7/2025, 11:42:51 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

aaa!

24/7/2025, 11:41:56 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

What’s the place?

24/7/2025, 11:39:47 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

I kinda think they all realize no one’s inviting them to parties and they can’t square it with their technical aptitude

24/7/2025, 10:07:39 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Goof Off, King (@cruft.bsky.social) reply parent

I thought you were joking but no, dude is sauced

24/7/2025, 7:24:46 PM | 76 0 | View on Bluesky | view