My friend's tortoise showed his displeasure at being held in the air for a load of selfies by pissing all over his tshirt and shorts. Never pisses on me and I've had him sit on my head for long periods. I knew I loved this animal.
Probably playing devil's advocate. Probably eating. Probably playing some RPG. Scientist and regulatory specialist.
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My friend's tortoise showed his displeasure at being held in the air for a load of selfies by pissing all over his tshirt and shorts. Never pisses on me and I've had him sit on my head for long periods. I knew I loved this animal.
Work is so much less fun without my fave receptionist. Selfish bitch retired last week. Who am I gonna go on sunny ice cream runs with/for now 😭
"Money isn't everything" - People with lots of money
So... Where's all the cancer coming from? 1 uncle died of it last June, another this April, 3 friends currently have it... Bloody hell.
Thank you ☺️
Another visit from Kyle ❤️ We need to get the Scouse Sausage onto Bluesky
Oh god damn it, I signed up as well. Which ghoul is this?
Me: *Receives unsolicited hole pics* Him: "Hey I can't accom, can I come to you?" Me: "Hello there, I didn't ask, thanks" Does... Does that ever work? Like... *THAT* is their move?
That's not a cheat. At all. There are two carbs, that's about it.
But none of it looks goooood 😭
But I almost exclusively read fantasy novels so I'm not much help haha
Tryyyyyy The Family Upstairs :)
Thanks daddy 🥺
Apparently E.coli did me a favour
I dunno, it's becoming pretty clear that pretty much all rich people are ghouls, equally
What kind of book would you like?
I'll be the Mason Verger to Will's Hannibal Lecter 😍 But like... Not a paedophile.
I got a notification for a joke post that Trump was dead. Honestly I think it's ruined my day, already. Don't get my hopes up like that.
Will could do anything he wanted to me. Anything.
And what is THIS I spied at the gym
The gun nonces always say LGBT have a mental illness, so I'll give them one.
Same. ... Let's do it
If its not the guns then let's all be given one and see what happens then.
Also... Fuck all you absolute, capitulating, cretinous cunts using this incident to attack trans people when your previous gun stance was to be against them, explicitly not blaming gun crime on mental health. Just... Fuck you all.
Police shooter: Justified, not the guns White school shooter: He was sick, not the guns Black shooter: well they're all criminals, not the guns Luigi Mangione: He was evil, not the guns Church shooting: ALL TRANS PEOPLE ARE SICK Every. Single. Incident. Has. One. Thing. In. Common.
At my current place we've been told various times the business has increased ~20% at least 3 years in a row so it's all a bit galling. If you see me out this weekend, pay me no mind and record absolutely nothing you see me do. Because I won't remember any of it.
That looks like my buddy down the Ashton? He has 2 sisters, also
My ex-colleague was a finance head and they increased his salary MASSIVELY to get him back. The salesman who left also got a better package to return. The same with credit control. You have to visibly handle money or already be rich and paying in via reputation to hold any value. The rest? Peons.
I'm ded 💀 😂 😂 😂
And after agonising over that, a guy I didn't want to see tonight has gone mental at me for not wanting to, despite knowing what had happened. Because 2 pumps and a squirt was gonna change my day gays could hear I'd had a bus load of family die in a conflagration and still only think of themselves
Doesn't matter. Both are anti-brown people
Rowing back his small boats policy. I'll do the tabloid headline because the tabloids certainly won't.
I feel like again and again capitalism shows us why loyalty isn't rewarding, unless you're already rich. And as a technical person, who works behind the scenes, we have basically zero value now.
Well I did it, and I didn't get a payrise
My current is the latter. The one I really don't want to leave. They're also very aware of my reasons for leaving the previous jobs
Call me a coward not wanting to disappoint my manager, with whom I get along with greatly
Quitting due to moving to London: Simple Quitting due to boss reducing salary: Easy Quitting due to major job dissatisfaction: Uncomplicated Not wanting to quit, having another job offer and wanting to stay, but ask for more money: Hard, strenuous, arduous, impossible
Was offered a new job. I'm off work but went in for a retirement party, so was going to tell my boss. But I don't want to leave, I like it there. Just want them to offer me more. That made starting the conversation so much harder. I couldn't do it. I chickened out and I'm going to call later. CALL.
Justice4Navi
90% of success with a PT is simping for their approval. Prove me wrong 😂
HEY! LISTEN!!
AMERICA: “It’s a mental health issue.” REST OF THE WORLD: “We have those. But don’t have mass shootings.” AMERICA: “It’s video games.” WORLD: “We have those too. But don’t have mass shootings.” AMERICA B: “It’s cause they took Jesus out of the classroom.” WORLD: “God, you’re stupid.”
What do Reform voters think will happen if migrants get deported? Landlords, power companies, supermarkets suddenly charge less and employers pay more? No. The opposite will continue to happen and next it'll be LGBT funding scrapped, then women's and children's schemes...
Their holes aren't, though
The one with red hair was more demon-like than the actual demons
Watched Happy Gilmore 2. Every moment with Travis Kelce felt like an eternity of abject torture. And Bad Bunny wasn't much better.
This is a top *clutches pearls* meme
He's spent 20 years telling everyone they're a victim of the people he accepts money from, but they're too fucking stupid to see that. Ironically using supposed British identity erosion as a weapon whilst simultaneously saying identity politics is stupid. They're also too stupid to see that.
But has the dog?
If you can't come up with a winning message about how the power mad dunce emperor marching federal troops into peaceful cities is bad, you should not have a job in politics
It is from the clinic but I think it's a mistake. They only send them when ordered, because you can never get a fucking appointment or kit normally
Migrants shouldn't be allowed to work. But they shouldn't be subsidised by the public, either. But you know what should be subsidised by the public? All the St George's cross and 'stop the boats' graffiti.
Yes
2 sexual health screening kits, that I didn't order, have been delivered to me. Is this... The GU being proactive after Pride, or...? 💀
But we're too evolved for monogamy, apparently 😅
Apparently there's tension among a group of friends because a guy flirted with several, but slept with neither. The audacity. The deception. ... The gay hubris of trying to claim a prettyboy as yours after 5 minutes of Grindr chat. And at least 2 slept with others this weekend, why do you ask? 😂
Just Eat: Let's charge more for the food than the restaurant does Also Just Eat: Then charge a delivery fee, we aren't a charity Yet again, Just Eat: And stick on a service charge, but only at 11%, we're not monsters Once more, Just Eat: ...but make the driver tip optional, we can't take the piss
Gay culture is laughing because a car's registration ends in HNH and the straights with you have to ask why it's funny.
That's the other eye I'm staring at
Is it even Pride if you haven't made decades (30 seconds) of eye contact with someone across the room, know that he's your soul mate, the love of your life, without a shadow of a doubt, then never see him again?
Don't bully me, I'll cum
"I'll meet at 7ish" *falls asleep until 9pm*
I didn't have a pride. I worked until the early hours of Sunday and spent all yesterday in bed falling sleep. And I still feel too tired to see anyone. Oh well, money saved
But hey, my crow's feet say hello! I'm off to work a 13-hour shift 💀😂
I think there's a special place in hell for people who bring their dogs to pride. And I'd put money on every one of them complaining about fireworks in November 😂
FUCK 😂
There must be a cold going around because all the gays at Pride are scratching their noses 👀
No! We don't like it
Ok but I'm changing my barber's name to butcher after what he's just done to my beard
Wrong disease
11 days after my tests, 9 days after I was told to expect a result, 7 days after I was contacted by the UK Health Security Agency and 5 days after I started calling my GP twice a day (as instructed), I found out my infection was E.coli. Which, obviously, cleared up days ago. Efficient.
The product in question will have never, and never will, come into contact with turtles.
Legit, it's 19,000 days long, join us!
Sometimes my job is hilarious. Like today. I've *genuinely* just had to put, in a real email to a real person, "no turtles were harmed in the manufacturing of this product"
Trying to find your way through a hospital you've never been to before
Quite the feat
Oh. Shit. It's Pride weekend, it'll be the gay Olympics, won't it
Apparently my friend is going to watch "dildo throwing". I asked if he was trying to be funny and is actually going axe-throwing. Apparently not? What the hell is going on!?
Of course, any Palestinians lucky enough to escape may end up becoming a revolutionary force. But the world will call them terrorists when trying to take back their homes, propogating the apparently-eternal Israeli victim status.
I love that the governments of the world are sitting back pretending that they don't know exactly what'll happen when Israel conquers Gaza. Not-so-spoiler alert: it's the same fucking things they've said all along. Destroy Palestine, kill it's people and expand their own territory.
I mean I'm anti-AI but so what? It's a logo, not a thesis 😂 it looks the same minus the E being lower case
I wonder if the straights are streaming the Kpop song, or is it just the gays still floating it... Because I'm bored of it being on the radio every 2 hours now
I love that my specialist, who isn't on the electronic prescription service so I must physically go in to pick it up, is on holiday and didn't pre-write it as promised. So now reception have sent a message to others and waiting for a reply, *not* using the actual phone while I am now late for work
I found out because of the speculation from a 1-second clip. And, yeah, you can absolutely tell which one ended it but ffs people need to get their own lives out of tiktok and insta. ... I still don't know their names or what they're supposed to influence.
Sold!
If it pays.
With you? 🥺😈
At least mine is hot 👀
The things I would do would get me banned from gay bars
I'm straight for Zoe Kravitz.
How I manged to drink 3 pints and eat a donut and still manage my 2200 calories/160g protein goal I have no idea
My subconscious is such a pretentious cunt that, without thinking, I just typed "id est" instead of "i.e."
Is it even different
Is it time yet for people to admit their Frenchies, Pugs and Chihuahuas are ugly as fuck?
Obsessed with Surreal's cereal. 6 months on it now. Today is the last bowl of frosted, then tomorrow start peanut butter. But at home I've just started Hazelnut and chocolate 😂
Saying that, there are plenty of gyms around now
