Hi I'm going to fucking kill myself
Columbo enthusiast
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Hi I'm going to fucking kill myself
I’m just a girl, who did a spinal tap on a preschooler last week, asking you to fire RFK Jr.
The main problem w the US is that we're filled with so many miserable pieces of shit.
Instead of drowning in despair, I'm choosing to think about the things that I love like my kids, reading a really good book, my friends, teaching sweet kinders and, of course, Tim Meadows.
The Gary I'm always thinking about is Gary Cole, so this movie would be fine actually.
I saw Pretty Woman when I was 12 and wanted to be her when I grew up, so this tracks.
Once you realize how much female influencer content of a certain age is set in a car, you realize that maybe you did know the school bus thing was a problem.
Watching The Thursday Murder Club and good goddamn at 72 Pierce Brosnan can still fucking get it. Like, get it get it. Good for him.
I'm going to work out every day in September and I'm saying it out loud so I'll feel like I really have to actually do it. The goal is to feel less breakable. Bonus if my pants feel better on my body!
I assume he killed her at the end of this house tour. Because that's the vibe every part of this video is giving.
And if you're saying you're "homeschooling", that means you should actively be trying to teach these skills and it would be slightly worrisome if the ONE 4yo in my care couldn't retain any letters or numbers if I was "teaching" them to them 🤷🏻♀️
The 4 yo, sure. The 8yo is also still fine- but usually, like you said, you'd start looking into intervention, because they should be able to read (age appropriate) chapter books. And even if you're less worried about typical age expectations, my point was more to ppl thinking anyone can do it.
I fucking hate it here.
And this is even true within grade levels. I would be a bad 5th grade teacher. Once kids hit like 8, my area of expertise is over! I would never teach older kids, bc I would be BAD AT IT!
There is a reason teaching is an actual profession that requires a very specific education and on-going training. Not everyone can do it. But everyone thinks they can do it. You can't! Many people in other professions are better at those things than I am. I am better at teaching!
What people think they 80s were like versus what the 80s was actually like.
W O W
I read Legend by Marie Lu in 2012 and it's about a dystopian version of the United States and I'm rereading it now bc my 13yo is reading it at school and it's disturbingly not far fetched in the way it was when I initially read it and that's just really fucked up! Super, super fucked up!
@jasondashbailey.com
That's what I did but he's on to me and I just ended up annoying myself
I am at the part of parenting where I find myself googling things like "why does my 13 year old keep saying six seveeeeeeen to me and laughing", so that's fun.
My oldest just sends me TikTok's that are like vaguely parent shaming, so that's been a fun new thing. The youngest does your thing.
This is like in Peter Pan where the audience tries to revive Tinkerbell with applause. Except, you know, the opposite.
Everyone right now
Last year. My kids this year would never. It has made two of them cry already. We've been in school for 13 days.
This is hilarious to me bc my district replaced human reading interventionists with an AI program that is useless and now I have to work HARDER to make up for lost resources. It is also universally hated by almost every student, causing one of my kinders to THROW A CHAIR when he was told to use it 🙃
Happy for all the ppl in states with functioning local governments that want to get their constituents life saving vaccines. Sad about being in a red state and just dying tho I guess.
I was LITERALLY almost t-boned by someone running a red light on my way home WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE
Reminder:
The new trend of people just running red lights is making it actually dangerous to stop on a yellow light. Like I was almost rear ended this morning because I didn't run it. So that's another thing to add to the list of fun shit happening in 2025 bc people have decided to be assholes.
Big old same, girl!
I loved these games so much and my King's Quest V had a glitch that right before the end, it crashed and I never finished it until as an adult I found a version to play and finished that shit and it was so satisfying.
My English teacher bragged about giving a Beastie Boy a blow job.
I keep seeing like... "why aren't you panicking, why aren't you freaking out" and .. i am, i am anxious all the time, it is a mindfuck seeing the news and still having to... just live, work, etc—but i can't let that panic and anxiety overtake every part of my life bc that would make me want to die
We need to stop saying this. People don’t change their votes in numbers that swing elections. The goal isn’t to appeal to voters of the other party, it’s to make the people in your own party want to take the time to vote.
I'm so tired of having to just go about life normally while everything is fucking fucked.
I didn't win powerball last night, which is a bummer, but this could still happen, which would honestly be better.
I was not, no
This movie fucking rules.
I'm about to watch Design for Living for the first time and if it's not as horny as I've been led to believe, I am going to be furious.
Literally NO ONE should have an opinion about adults transitioning except those adults themselves. I will die on this hill
All I know is if I ever meet someone named Pink, I am going to just immediately punch them in the face.
Would I like it?
I grew up on Capitol Hill and watching this happen there blows. Like, it's weird bc as far as hometowns go, it's def different than it was in the late 80s and 90s, but so much of it was permanent, bc nations capitol and all that, so it sort of felt the same. But this fucking sucks to see.
This is a visual representation of what it's like to be a teacher returning to work after the summer.
Taylor Swift entering her Slut Era (complimentary).
I'm reprogramming myself from needing to work like every free second I have, bc I get paid $63k/yr to work for 1,425hrs and if I can't do my job in let's say 1,805hrs (giving them SOME extra time) then that's just not my problem. But jfc, it's so hard. The urge to print, laminate and cut is STRONG.
They were hot, funny and musically gifted, like, come ON.
Normalize wanting to have sex with a Marx brother.
the other thing is i have just run out of sympathy for these people. "how could i have known that this was bad for me?" i don't know, use your brain.
Relatable
AI is for writers who don’t like to write but want to have written, and readers who don’t like to read but want to have read. Into the sea with the whole miserable joyless fucking lot of them.
Shout out to the Crate and Barrel dish 🙌
My favorite part of Jackie Brown is when after the movie ends Max Cherry realizes he can't live without Jackie and he finds her and marries her and they live happily ever after ♥️
Just for the record, acab includes Marcus and Mike. And fine, also Capt. Howard (rip).
Gonna watch Bad Boys with my 13 year old tonight, which feels like not my best parenting choice, but also, who fucking cares at this point, right?
Jackie Brown while I lesson plan for a bunch of 5/6 year olds just makes sense.
There is no other tired quite like the tired on a Friday night of the first full week of teaching kindergarten. I can see smells and hear colors.
watching albert brooks’s REAL LIFE and i can’t help but laugh every time charles grodin is on screen. just the way he carries himself is funny.
As someone who's been doing that for a while, it's not great!
Columbus was Portuguese. It’s sauce, not gravy. White Castle is older than Italy.
The one on the left was feeling sad and the one on the right just quietly held her hand while both just still listened to my lesson and omg it's empathy, you absolutely LOVE to see it.
I don't want to jinx it or anything, but my class this year is KIND. They are sweet to each other! They are thoughtful and respectful and not just to me, but more importantly TO EACH OTHER and the last two days have been really FUN and I really could cry about it, because last year almost broke me.
Thank you!
I mean at the end of the day doesn't everyone just want that stupid old shit, like letters and sodas?
Me too!
Also, the word I was trying for was me. Looked at me. It's day 3 of kindergarten, my brain is jello.
A kid (day 3) looked at a word and said idk and I was like what are the sounds and he gave them to me and then I was like ok now put them together and he did and I was like congrats you can read and he looked at my like I gave him a treasure map and even tho I complain, this job is fucking awesome.
Like, this is a sentence I just read, it's ok if I like Taylor Swift's music, I fucking promise you.
I asked my coworkers if anyone was a Taylor swift fan and they were sort of like meh and I said I was excited bc she's releasing a new album in October and mentally I just needed the boost and they were like oh cool that's great for you AND THAT IS THE NORMAL RESPONSE LET PEOPLE HAVE SOME GD JOY.
It is! Own the Blu-ray and everything.
This one's for the teachers. She knew we needed something to live for rn.
Me after the first day of kindergarten.
That's Sneakers. Also one of the best movies of the 90s and no one can tell me otherwise.
I'm so jealous!
This is one of the best movies made in the 90s and no one can tell me otherwise.
Disturbingly proud of these savings.
Never forget today, when, on this day in 1988, Zero Cool crashed 1,507 systems in one day.
usually if you ask experts why an empire fell they’ll say it’s nuanced and multifaceted, so i think it’s kind of cool that with America future historians will get to just say like “oh they took the idiot train to moronsville”
Watching Enough Said to feel sad and then immediately watching You Hurt My Feelings to feel better. The Nicole Holofcener Therapeutic System ™️
It's always garbage, but lol at even AI realizing that when anyone thinks about Belle and the Beast living happily ever after, they don't mean the lesser human prince version.
Ok, but you have to actually eat it.
Relatable.
Yes. Not always, but yes.
Not bc I don't love my job, mainly bc I'm old as shit. Tbc!
Me this morning: I've got this! I feel good! Everything's ready! Starting another school year is easy actually! Me after meet the teacher:
Me to sleeping more than two consecutive hours...
Thank you for clapping.
Classroom is pretty much setup. Everybody clap, please.
Mood
This movie traumatized the fuck outta me.
YES! These are the kids that went through legitimate trauma from the pandemic. Not kids that were hitting that age once basically all restrictions had been lifted and there were ways to still socialize and do things with safety precautions.
I'm seeing memes about the Covid babies starting kinder this year and to get ready, but the true Covid babies were born in like 2018 bc "lock down" would've affected kids in that learning age range. If your 5 year old is an asshole now, it's because you're a shitty parent, not bc of a pandemic.
Just still gonna teach kids to read while the world fucking burns all around us, I guess.
Back on my bullshit.
He's putting on MURDERING GLOVES. We used to be a proper country.
