✨ Aquarius ⛰ Appalachian 🛸 ATLien priors: EDSBS, Sports Illustrated, Grantland, MTV, and a million other dead newsrooms now: @shutdownfullcast.bsky.social & @channel6.bsky.social, American Coonhound Rescue volunteer, miscellaneous hellraising
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i met anubis in the realm of the underworld, big strong guy by the way, had a dog’s head, i’m not so sure about that. and he said to me, mr president, you’ve got the heaviest soul we’ve ever weighed down here. can you believe it? they’ve never seen a soul that heavy in all of duat
The lord’s work
Ok, FINE. I will post TCUs unhinged videos after wins since they don’t have an account here. LookWhatYouMadeMeDo.mp4
Strong yes
Soldier, welcome back 🫡
i said freddie kitchens sucked in the third quarter and someone in an LT jersey tried to fight me. then we fumbled and his wife made him leave 💀
(nick saban quiet but exhausted press conference voice) we just gotta get back to fuckin and suckin
“We Are Not A Red State … We Are A Rigged State.” This is what I’ve been saying about Tennessee for quite a while now.
real Yankee Go Home hours
trust me on this
Listen the important thing is that tomorrow, when everybody goes in to figure out exactly what happened here and how they can do better, Mike Lombardi‘s steady hand will be on the tiller
Kurosawa and Mifune had that shit on
BECAUSE HE COULDN’T GET *THE FALCONS JOB*
oh most definitely
Look, I know it’s easy to goof on the early returns of the Belichick era at UNC, which is why we should all keep it up
TCU IS THE MOST IMPORTANT TEAM IN COLLEGE FOOTBALL THAT IS NEVER, EVER THE MAIN CHARACTER OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL
I’m not even sure I know how to imagine what that looks like
I HAVE AN ARMY IN CHARLESTON (non-problematic) THAT HAS BEEN BITCHING ABOUT THIS SINCE THE HIRE AND SKED RELEASE
Lmao thank you for the layout there
Was accurate
WHAT A NIGHT
That was the most terrifying performance by frogs since the second plague
Shit I’m sad they don’t play South Carolina
… Although not as shocked as I was initially because now that I think about it having their backups pull up is so much meaner
TCU’s backup QB just threw a block for his running back in a game where they’re up by 34
Honestly shocked
Thank goodness TCU didn't know North Carolina's depth chart or they might have given them trouble
well same obvs
Literally letting a dog call Belichick's first game in CFB now.
Hand to God I heard one of the bands play the theme from Planes
also if you’re marking potential hotspots on your calendar, Clemson comes to Chapel Hill on October 4 and Dabo already feels like he has something to prove
What TCU pulling their starters halfway through the fourth quarter taught me about B2B sales
I hope Sonny walks over to Steve at midfield and just gives him a big hug and lets him cry
Rodger it’s important to set late in life goals
the greatest defensive mind in football history - a stoic, unflappable genius of a man - is currently putting his name on the line bc the sexual advances of the 21st century have him in the walls of jericho. and that's kind of beautiful if you think about it
I’m glad we’ve returned to this
I love analytics
Number of times Bill Belichick-coached NFL teams allowed 48 points: zero times in 511 games Number of times Bill Belichick-coached college football teams allowed 48 points: one time in one game
Dave Doeren’s bedtime mug of crushed glass and fire ants is gonna go down so smooth tonight
I am LEVITATING
I don’t imagine Spending the sketchers years of your life yelling at children is a low stress activity
UConn: better than UNC at basketball and hiring former NFL head coaches
Here’s the silver lining for Belichick: there is so much football shit to chew on coming out of this game that the Jordon stuff will get buried. Quarterback controversy! Tackling problems! SPECIAL TEAMS SLOPPINESS!
I’ve been hospitalized for poison ivy twice but I don’t remember what all they gave me
I’m gonna turn this over to @rototudor.bsky.social
Which is an incredible sentence in itself
OK that makes a lot more sense, that’s not how they said it at all
@jamescurle.bsky.social hey YOU should call in🤣
Do Your Job (Bill's Version)
hey this line is still open fyi
Not inaccurate!
He’s gonna be so happy when he wakes up
41-14, we’ve got a pummeldrome
Perfect catch-all! This could mean anything!
they got Michael Jordan to leave a casino to attend this game
[dad standing on screen porch observing thunderstorm] we needed this
UNC is playing so poorly so quickly that the ESPN crew can’t even get the filler stories in between disasters
Should we start the show tomorrow with you apologizing for saying they were only gonna win by 20
I am at the “start calling people you love and laughing when they pick up the phone” stage and I don’t have an emotional investment in either one of these teams
OH NO
Never thought I’d say this or think it but I really wish Mack Brown was on TV somewhere tonight
Welcome in brother
for what it’s worth Bill’s worst loss with the Patriots had a final score of 38-3
Good lord pass the sticks back to Gene Chizik @northcarolinatarheels
That’s not actually true as far as I know?? I’m not sure where they picked that up
Bawwwwww
Kind of amazed he’s not at Tennessee
I treasure you and I don’t tell you that enough
bold of UNC to hire a first-time college head coach but maybe they should have brought in somebody with more experience to help them cut down on simple mistakes and maintain discipline
You just hope that this won't in any way dampen the unparalleled effervescence and swashbuckling, glint-in-the-eye panache that Bill Belichick has always brought to his duties
L I V I N G
HELLO ANGEL
All I’m saying is if they don’t get to 55 it won’t be because they didn’t want to
welcome to the big leagues billy b
In what way
Listen he’s not loud about it but do you know how goddamn screen-door biting mad Sonny has gotten all summer listening to how his Week 1 opponent is a master tactician
Well. This is a different kind of development
Well that's a halftime adjustment
ah. Well, you see
😍😍😍
It’s excellent casting though because I want to punch that guy in the neck
This has also given me a new favorite screenshot
No that’s pretty much what happened here
FREDDIE KITCHENS : [with the biggest lip in you or God has ever seen] I can’t get these kiyuds ta do SHEEEYUT
First-half recap, in gif form:
the thing about Zohran is he is really fucking good at politics and everyone on the Dem side behaving like he’s a liability has lost their minds I don’t care how you define It, he has It
Belichick is wondering around that sideline looking like he wants to talk to a furniture salesman in like a giant Raymour and Flanagan. I like this ottoman, is there anyone over here who can help me
TCU was 104th in opponent third down conversions last year but who’s to say really
Always
“We could’ve pulled away a little bit” ☠️☠️☠️
This can’t be right
Easy now
You’d think Bill Belichick could get more out of a QB who couldn’t go higher than sixth round of the NFL draft
This is the Texas Conway Twitty hair guy’s Wario
Yeah! Like I’m curious how much of a language barrier there is there
I say this every time I watch Scarface