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Hard Rejoiner. Pro: EU PR PA. 3.5% #RejoinEU #GotTTO. Recently Woken Snowflake. Failed guitarist, despite 30 years of trying. Will steal your memes. #Wülferhampton
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Badges. Ferocious, mean little bastards.
I kept my promise to dance across my balcony in my pants when Johnson went. Going to do the same, but with added vuvuzela, when this one goes.
Since when does the felon have a ponytail? Perhaps it grew at the same time his ear grew back?
Wasn’t be born in Africa? Uganda? Must be the right* kind of African immigrant. * white
Perhaps this would be of assistance to Sir? No need to get up for those annoying refills.
Looks like the sort of thing them down in Devon* would wear. Or is that six-fingered gloves? * waits for entirely justified cream-firster pile-on.
No worries. Pretty sure it won’t be the first time hat-head has disappointed Mordor.
Who do we know* that could have posted this? Who is now a “consultant”, spends a lot of time in other business’s offices, and regards most people** as deserving of a permanent marker? * @wulfhelm.bsky.social ** everyone
I think Wulfie’s “mom” is only here on rare occasions. Can you add her manually, if only because she tells him not to pee on the toilet seat.
Do they publish obituaries on a Sunday? 🤞🤞🤞
This is like the Tories and the Rwanda deal. Have to ask the question: who profited from these decisions?
Light blue ones if they get mixed up in the wash with their Reform t-shirts.
The Knights Who Say Ni searching for a Shrubbery. A nice one… not too expensive…
If only someone had mentioned this years ago. Oh, wait… www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/poli...
The same people who…
Had a wander around Greenwich today. Seeing this brave show of yards, feet and inches standing up to mad EU-imposed metrification made me so praaad; it was all the convincing I needed that Brexit was totally worth it.
Can we join the EU?
Presumably #JamFirst will be included in the search terms, but obvs not the heretic way of doing things? Thanks for the all the work.
HEADS UP WÜLFERHAMPTON Change is afoot. Read the ALT text for the full story.
I think he took his inspiration from “If the cake is going to be burnt, don’t bake it”.
More strict vetting by Reform to ensure only the best and brightest are hired.
For my own safety I decline to be drawn into this conversation.
Risky.
Probably a chunk.
This may look good for the Lib Dems, but what concerns me is: where have the other 12% of voters gone?
When you have major security, but still like to keep it Old Skool.
Or a reason to see your urologist.
WTAF?! FML! #^$€!!!
GOING TO MEETINGS IS WOKE!
In which case, I hope you are young and in good health if you plan on trying to get hold of customer service.
Seems to happen in bad weather or heavy rain.
Just seen the commercial quantities of bird shit on the balcony. B’stards! Which made me think of this. #shitbirdphotos #birdshitphotos
Mr Pip was unable to present his own “Barks At” as Wulfie had him busy with other duties. The ‘other duties’…
Someone lose a roller-skate?
I think maybe it is time for the police to interview him under caution and get a definitive answer to where he is sourcing his info, and find out once and for all who “they” are. As in, “they say…”
If I can see a retailer uses them for home delivery I’ll cancel my online purchase and look elsewhere. Just not worth the aggravation. Too many “we tried to deliver” messages when they clearly didn’t.
Visit England. Kew Gardens.
Victoria Falls, from Zimbabwe bank.
Very accurate coal sketch by the Mead Hall resident artiste. He had to hold his breath for several hours. Wulfie, not the artist.
Remembering that time that @wulfhelm.bsky.social visited Loch Ness.
Wulfie’s food and drink diary vs Wulfie’s exercise log.
Maybe I’m wrong, but I thought the main point of nuclear subs was that people didn’t have a clue where they are?
Very general comment that. I think you need to be more pacific.
But no one can afford the insulin now.
If only they did take the piss instead of dumping it in the sea.
Just waiting for the follow-up Guardian article… “48 die in restaurant blaze as doors automatically locked with no manual override. Firefighters unable to gain access. Witnesses say the restaurant started to behave erratically before all the ovens turned up to maximum.”
We should start tightening up our borders by denying visas to adjudicated rapists and convicted felons.
[laughs in 11 year old]
Nope. Only DM’d* you because you disabled them. Apparently contrarianism is a prerequisite for Wulferhampton citizenship. * didn’t really ** ** or did I…?
I think “Free for All in The Mead Hall” trips off the tongue more easily.
Just DM’d you.
Easter’s going to be a bit crap next year.
Finally, something positive to come out of TFG’s tariffs.
[Dusts off Long Service Award]
1,401 candles. We’re going to need a bigger cake.
Kirbys grips what?
Wulfie’s your man if you’re looking for hat advice.
Why do you want to sell products for cleaning Kirbys? A bit niche?
Cream First. Let me know if you see this.
My uncle had a stuffed genet. I said he should call it “Al” and then ask people if they’d like to see his…
That sounds more like Only Flans.
Don’t you mean Only Pans?
So they told you the party was in one place but actually it was somewhere else. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like they are trying to “tell” you something…?
That’s a Beautiful South bound journey! Not sure if it’s because you aren’t travelling from London but we tried London to Amsterdam by train a few months back. Eurostar one way was roughly the same price as BA return, including checked bags. Disappointing; I’d much rather take the scenic route.
Every time I see a Tesla with a 24 reg or later, my first thought is “twat”. Followed immediately by “ignorant nazi-supporting twat”.
Just to be completely clear - this British Army Vet was NOT forced out of military housing to accommodate Afghans - who, by the way, put their own lives at risk to support and protect British soldiers. Just ever more rage-baiting by Matt! 🧵1/14
Aaaaand normal service resumes.
Massively highbrow for Wülferhampton. You looking to get excommunicated?
How it starts: £20 for a GP appointment. How it ends: £500 pm (if you have no long term illnesses or recent claims) but then you’re too scared to make an appointment anyway because if you do, next year it will be £750 pm.
Inspiration? Synonym for seax?
Missed you since the Xitter days.
Experts are not required to understand that any plan by Trump will, by definition, be flawed.
My dog’s been searching for those for ages…
May I suggest that Sir has the asparagus hors d’oeuvre…
In the words of Jack Johnson, “Yeah, it's always better when we're together…”
Ahem! @wulfhelm.bsky.social
Seen in another place. Dogs AND potatoes. Can this day get any better? #Wulferhampton
Does this mean the DoD is going to invade Poland?
@wulfhelm.bsky.social FYI. Less likely to involve defence attorney fees than a seax? cc @themeadhallbard.bsky.social
Farage wants an “insurance based” healthcare system. (The NHS already is). He just wants one where you pay 25% of your salary to private companies who can profit off you by denying care, rather than one where you pay 5% of your salary and private companies don’t get their cut.
P90? Is that like when you resign from two jobs at the same time?
I thought you had already shuffled off your mortal coil (single, humbucker?).
Tory MP leaks (BS clickbait) rumour to press. Press publish (BS clickbait) story. MP raises (BS clickbait) issue in parliament citing article. Rinse and repeat.
On Bluesky: thoughtful people, difficult conversations. On the bird app: white-hot rage, wilful ignorance, and several people shouting “what about free speech?” while burning cardboard refugees. So I made a resource. One FAQ. Nine excuses. Nine replies. Read and share if it helps.
YewTube. Popular with branch managers.
Cue videos of sheep jokes… on ewe tube.
Don’t want to brag, but the lifeguard at the leisure centre pool recognised me today and called me “Boss”. All previous achievements pale into insignificance.
Hollywood pitch. A remake of “White House Down”, set in 2025. The White House is taken over by rogue agents and the president is in danger. But this time everyone just goes “meh” and carries on with their business while Channing Tatum does some press ups.
