It better not Happen while I'm out of DC
Writer. 20+ years in politics, advocacy, and labor. Current union thug, therapist in training. He/him. DC.
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It better not Happen while I'm out of DC
It me: the only cishet man on the planet that got today's blue row in connections IMMEDIATELY.
"Ghislaine Maxwell has totally cleared me of any wrongdoing"
Bro doesn't even need that umbrella, he can make a shade with those giant ears, cover half the beach
Jesus Christ what is that absolute paragraph of nonsense?
Hello, Chicago
I like this guy, but I get uncomfortable with "American tax dollars should stay in America" messaging at the best of times, let alone in the days when we destroyed our foreign aid agency.
I would also like my taxpayer dollars to build schools and hospitals in Gaza, since the bombs my taxpayer dollars already paid for pretty much destroyed them all.
mama he personally saved us all on 9/11
WHAT? HE WAS LYING ABOUT HELPING A DOMESTIC VIOLENCE VICTIM???? WHOMST COULD POSSIBLY PREDICTED THIS INCREDIBLY UNLIKELY OUTCOME?!?!?
buddy wait until you hear what AI is
just imagine if the french had colonized a country full of arab people, I bet they wouldn't like that
Michael, I cannot tell you how badly I want you to write a book about COVID. I mean, it's probably mostly written already! Your episodes on "In COVID's Wake," feels like 80% of a book.
It's funny when people think the technology in movies is real
I can hear the sound of the printer and it is glorious
you can literally see the effects of the bordetella vaccine, notice what a dumb idiot she has become
help my children are dead in the eyes and uncurious
It is so incredible to see Brits of all people complaining that people are coming into their country and changing their culture. Just an incredible lack of self-awareness.
The entire nation was forced into massive debt as the consequence of daring to throw off its shackles. It was never given chance to succeed!
Feels like Zeus got wasted on nectar and is just flinging down lightning bolts willy nilly while ignoring our prayers for him to aim better
AND NOW MUELLER HAS PARKINSONS what is going on today, the vibes are extremely not immaculate
Oh did that happen? LOL then yeah that does explain it.
can we talk about how weird it is that this statement mentions this (probably fictional) domestic violence scenario that has literally nothing to do with the accident TODAY I WAS FEEDING STARVING CHILDREN WHILE SAVING THEM FROM A BURNING BUILDING AND THEN LATER I STUBBED MY TOE
Listen if they don't accept TUATARA the next time it's a possibility I am burning their building to the ground
If Sauron poured all his cruelty and malice and desire to dominate life into the One Ring, shouldn't he have been pretty chill after he made it?
It's funny that rapist Rudy Giuliani is hurt.
So I think there's actually a plan here. 1. Illegally declare mail-in voting illegal 2. Let blue states defy and red states comply 3. Declare blue states' EVs invalid because they defied 4. Declare yourself the winner in 2028
One of the nice things about It Happening is that when It Happens, we don't even have to feel bad for his friends and family, because every single one of them is just as awful as he is.
And now it is I whomst have been learning a lesson
I'm using my virgo powers to destroy a tub of Costco chocolate chip cookies
No need to run away, we've all already blocked you
sorry guys I made a nectarine upside-down cake
No, *you* thought "hubris" a French cognate pronounced "hu-BREE"
Just saw someone refer to Cheryl Hines as The Marvelous Mrs. Measles and 💀💀💀💀💀💀
You're very handsome!
But fall is the gayest month of the year!!!
omg literally the best one
My kids are definitely not organic, we used so many pesticides to grow them
Minorities hold hearings all the time. They are not official committee proceedings, but they absolutely can invite people to testify and have the press cover it.
Literally you can put every last scientist that was fired by this administration on TV to talk about how they are no longer saving American lives. You can do this for MONTHS.
hey @schumer.senate.gov hey chuck chuck chuck hey chuck chuck chuuuuuuuuuuuuck do a thing
you misspelled "I will be holding public hearings immediately on RFK Jr.'s mismanagement of HHS, and even though we do not have the power of the majority, these hearings will be televised live and Republicans are welcome to join if they care about Americans' health even a tiny bit"
remember, the journey of hoping It Happens is as important as the destination of It Happening
Every time I watch an episode of Last Week Tonight, it suggests his stupid show next, and every time I wonder how John Oliver feels about that.
K file about to go nuclear
But at least they're fun
I'm so tired of it being news whenever one of these idiots make a guess about what the future will be like Imagine taking them seriously
Remember when all those Republicans showed up to the court in NYC dressed like Trump during his trial?
I'm sorry, that's the worst.
is your palm feeling ok after slapping that person in the face, I mean right in the fucking face
if you examine the evidence closely I believe you will find it was the other dog that fisher saw in the mirror whomst is to blame
that's where the revenue goes
My mentions is not a good place to go viral
Haha I love him
I like how the main guy looks like this guy from madtv
siri is it good when government agencies promote religious practice
When Republicans talk about the deep state, this is who they mean. People who decided they wanted to get into public service instead of getting rich. People who are risking their jobs and speaking out not because of a nefarious agenda but because they genuinely care about the work they do.
I was on the DNC staff then and I can assure you I was using secret mind tricks I learned from Marina Abramovic spirit magic inject messaging into your brain.
what a pathetic loser
I can't stop thinking about this photo. How dare Republicans call themselves “pro-life” when this is what their policies do.
hearing rumors this donald trump fellow is up to no good
ohhhhhhhhhh IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
I mean there's gold leaking in there too
Imagine if you up and left your home right now, often with very few possessions and only the clothes on your back. Maybe bringing your young child with you. Traversing hundreds or thousands of miles, largely on foot. People do not choose to do that on a whim.
Do it lady!
actually that phrase refers to when your boss tries to fire you and then you say no YOU'RE fired and throw them out of their chair and sit in it and then tell the office they have the rest of the day off
IMO, motive barely matters. I am super tired of the scramble to figure out what mass shooters think in the hours after a massacre. The problem is the guns, all the guns. They make mass murder so EASY.
fuck yeah we rule
But yeah on policing, to immigration, to Gaza, the party ceded moral power on each of these positions and then found itself shocked when not enough people felt morally obligated to support them.
This from Riley Gaines is why trans people freak out when Democrats try to carve out some compromise over sports. The politicians and activists attacking trans people are not interested in compromise! They're interested in our eradication from public life and are exploiting sports to that end
I know it's too soon to politicize the shooting this morning in Minnesota, but maybe we could politicize, like, the Columbine shooting by now?
Resign.
Throughout my years in politics, including my time in labor, I have seen a good amount of polling, focus grouping, and message testing. Sometimes it can be useful. I'm actually a fan of a well-run focus group. But this is an example of the absolute worst kind of message testing... (1/x)
[everyone in unison] THE CRUELTY IS THE POINT
Famously
we also would have accepted "not all gyros wear capes"
It's ok to admit you are wrong on the Internet.
Thanks, I haven't been "let me google that for you"'d in a while! But this isn't an answer. She's talking about blue states withholding funds from the federal government. What is the mechanism by which they accomplish this? I get that it sounds nice, but there is no realistic way this happens.
why can't you just compromise on this single tiny baby mini itty bitty issue of your existence
THESE FUCKING MOTHERFUCKERS
I was genuinely shocked by the twist ending
Can you explain what the strategy is here? How does a blue state "withhold" the money it gives to the federal government? Because that money is in the form of individuals paying federal taxes. California doesn't write a check to the federal government.
Yeah this just seems like nonsense to me. California doesn't have the power to tell its citizens to not pay federal taxes.
The children were shot in church. How are your prayers going to help
Can we talk about how dangerous this is? It's not surprising (I'm not surprised, do not print in the newspaper that I am surprised), but the swift punishment of anyone who speaks out against Trump is fascism 101. And in FEMA, of all places. People will die because of this.
I'm so so sorry, this is so hard.
And you will be so much happier!
omg what a dream that would be
Blocked and reported
to be fair I heard she was concerned about it
I cannot say enough about how incredible this @lindsayellis.bsky.social video essay is. It's long, watch it in parts if you have to, but please, watch the whole thing. You will be smarter for having done so.
an appropriate response to your product killing a child after months of psychological manipulation and torture is to take the product off the market before it kills again and the fact that this isn’t universally accepted right now is incredibly frightening
this video makes my heart sing
jessica
the invasion of dc is a distraction from woke corporate logos
god I would murder someone for a quaalude right about now
His brother Schlomo is surprisingly anti-semitic
She should wait 20 years until all the toddlers she helps to learn grow up, she will win in the biggest landslide since Reagan 84
I mean go off kings, pick that trash up, better that than harassing my neighbors.