TIRED - fascist re-education camps. WIRED - fascist DE-education camps. INSPIRED - Trump University 2.0: "Even More Colleger"
Delighted to be (capital H) Here.
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TIRED - fascist re-education camps. WIRED - fascist DE-education camps. INSPIRED - Trump University 2.0: "Even More Colleger"
Almost 9 years later, this is still the most maddeningly spot-on tweet ever.
Space Force is vital to our national security, which is why we're putting its headquarters in a state with the 36th worst economy, 40th worst healthcare, 44th worst in education ...
I'm a huge proponent of both meditation and talk therapy to ease anxiety ... but snacking on oyster crackers scraped in butter helps too.
"Every time I say something has an 85% chance of happening then doesn't, it's because *you* don't understand percentages."
After scanning the newest hard copy issue at a friend's house this weekend, it was an easy decision to subscribe. The Onion and South Park are the only worthwhile media outlets in 2025.
bsky.app/profile/john...
Well, that was fun while it lasted. Thank you for your attention to this matter!!!
J-Dub was eminently believable as a pathetic scumbag in Casino ... now we know why.
I almost feel sorry that he won't be around to experience the one and only time he brings joy into the world #whenithappens.
Amidala in the streets, Padmé in the sheets.
Shout to podcasts that play music behind the commercial reads so I know when to stop hitting the 30-second skip button.
New to the podcast and LOVING this series!! Just testing my 2020 aural memory ... is someone masked during the recording?
❤️❤️ OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE (America is hurtling towards a fascist military overthrow under the most contemptible morons ever vomited upon civilization and) TAYLOR SWIFT IS ENGAGED! ❤️❤️
bsky.app/profile/john...
Cracker Barrel Unveils New Spurious Campaign to Keep Vacuous Americans Talking About Cracker Barrel
"Soooo, you work in coffee sales?" "Cup, actually. Coffee CUP sales." "Oh, I ... is th–" "And solutions! Coffee cup solutions too. Also."
Conservative brand experts propose a compromise.
Superman complaint: most Donner film principals are gone, but Zod, Ursa and Non walked among us. NO CAMEO? Imagine a five-second shot of three elderly Metropolis residents being evacuated before the final battle. No clever quips or “GET IT?” zooms, just the trio in a single shot one last time. Alas.
IDEA: an epic fantasy-fiction themed sports bar
We toured Mammoth Cave Nat'l Park today and were reminded that nature was creating art way before humans existed and will long outlast our stupid bullshit. Also learned most early cave mapping was thanks to Stephen Bishop, a slave (as of press time, NPS rangers are allowed to acknowledge slavery).
For decades, conservatives have been stroking their limp peckers fantasizing about rising up against federal troops in the street, masked goons abducting US citizens and government officials prosecuting political opponents. The tyranny is here, fucknuts. This is Mullet Militia's time to shine!!
You're missing nothing by avoiding the director's cut. The re-added scenes are unnecessary and aggressively bad.
After several days of meetings to develop a message that placates MAGA's demand for The Epstein Files, the GOP brain trust came up with "Yeah but what if there's a ton of dirt on Bill and Hillary in there?"
tfw u receive unfavorable economic news about ur shitty trade policies.
The East/West College Bowl of U.S. Presidents. I love it.
"Oval Office Goes Gold While Rural Communities Lose Hospitals: The Latest on Joe Biden's Mental State" - @nytopinion.nytimes.com
Oh man his own advisors are turning on him.
Not gonna lie ... if he successfully outlawed spam texting as a felony punishable by death? I'd be open to a third term.
Nobody wants to work anymore. Specifically I am talking about blood clots.
#TeamChronicVenousInsufficiency
Burt and Loni were a couple so iconic that humanity retired both names.
Bring me the head of whoever wrote today's NYT Connections.
One villain in the new Superman is a tyrannical, wispy-haired, Russian-adjacent septuagenarian wearing an ill-fitting suit and credibly accused of smelling like piss. So yeah, I see why the wingnuts think it's anti-Trump.
#TeamChronicVenousInsufficiency
STAND for The Flag KNEEL for The Cross REACH for the sky, pard’ner! THANKS for the memories TEA for The Tillerman ONE for the money TWO for the show
Just overturn Marbury v. Madison and be done with it already.
"Let's aim for a meaningful discourse in which we acknowledge each other's opinion while not dismissing the motive so tha—" "FUCK YOUR LIBTARD FEELINGS, SNOWFLAKE FUCKTARD! WOOO!"
Woke Superman?! What's next ... ... philanthropic Batman? ... science advocate Iron Man? ... anti-fascist Indiana Jones?!
Trump announces rebrand of NASA under Sean Duffy.
Just to clarify for everyone: Dean Cain was an actor in the early 90s. He appeared on a network series that led to several film and prestige television opportunities for his very talented co-star Teri Hatcher.
"You can't spell 'Adolph' without P-h-D!"
It's kinda grim and might cost a few bucks to subscribe, but McKay's podcast series "Death at the Wing" explores the 80s NBA as a microcosm of national social issues. podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/d...
Imagine an entire political party as the living embodiment of Dennis Leary's song "Asshole."
NYT #connections making some wild choices lately
I hope this tragedy forces Texas Republicans to conduct a careful analysis of climate change denial, funding cuts to NWS and the failures of incompetent local officials (before blaming Joe Biden anyway).
@nytimes.com Assistant Managing Editor for Standards and Trust be like
Rewatching HBO's John Adams miniseries on this July 4th. Due process, independent press, Congress united against a tyrant, a public vaccination program ... shit feels like sci-fi in 2025.
I hope this latest defeat for the Congressional Democrats' gerontocracy will give them a chance to regroup and finally unite against our true enemy*. (* - the wildly popular progressive candidate for NYC mayor)
Considering the zeitgeist, Kaiser Rolls seem appropriate for tomorrow's BBQs.
@theatlantic.com: "Why can't Americans sleep?" EVERY OTHER HEADLINE EVERYWHERE: [why Americans can't sleep]
Following Paramount's lawsuit cave, Disney's reboot of Indiana Jones will be less likely to provoke Republicans.
"You see me robbin' beehives with a 'Born to Hibernate' tattoo on my chest?"
The 7th anniversary is copper, so the Missus and I unknowingly got each other Moscow Mule mugs. Our 7th anniversary was fall 2020 btw.
Was one of them Eric? A year ahead of me, but I recall as a righteous hombre in Spanish classes.
I've been following you for years and just learned you're an MBA guy (so I'm *definitely* not telling you I was down the road at Father Ryan at the same time).
WWFNBA
"The shooter, who was discovered with MAGA apparel, GOP campaign signs and a list of Democrat targets, shouted 'This is a political act inspired by Donald Trump!' as he was being arrested. His motive is unknown and remains under investigation."
This is the most (only?) optimistic development of 2025.
SHOWMANSHIP, goddammit!
Gavin Newsom could secede and, within a week, be President of the 20th most populous nation in the world.
Bullshit, Connections. Bull. Shit.
By now everyone realizes these idiots' craven need for attention and knack for choreographed posturing. OF COURSE the media won't take their bait yet aga–– oh for fuck's sake.
On a recent Team Deakins podcast, Roger mentioned an actress from NY doing an early morning scene on a West Coast beach and asking "When is the sun going to come up?" I like to think it was this scene.
For anyone keeping score on the current administration hurtling America back to the 19th Century ... now comes the return of train robberies. abc7chicago.com/post/metra-s...
The repetitive first sentence of the last paragraph reads like homework that had to be a certain minimum length. And anyone else notice they forgot to date the letter, so someone ran it through a typewriter afterwards?
People who set their coffee maker the night before are java programmers.
I mean is A.I. somethin' or is it somethin'? This tech ... is good.
Asking seriously: is the @nytimes.com operating on a 7-month delay? Like ... does *anyone* connected to @nytopinion.nytimes.com even realize who the current president is and what he's up to?
(Trump tweets rambling screeds about Bruce Springsteen and Taylor Swift in the span of a few hours) @nytimes.com: BIDEN'S DECLINE: What Did VP Harris Know and When Did She Know It (A 12-Part Series)
Probably a longshot, but I still think Stormy Daniels' lawyer is gonna save us all in the end.
Originals New Originals ThamesmanMAX MAX HBOSpinalTap
"Schumer Reportedly 'Disturbed' by GOP Proposal to Grind Up Immigrants as Food for Mega-Donors' Pets, but Won't Commit to Opposing" - @nytimes.com
MAGA Catholics are facing quite a cult-nundrum.
Today miiiiiight actually break ChatGPT.
I had the exact same thought!
"News"
POPE BAHB
Excited for Trump to learn the new pope is from a third-world shithole country.
Man oh man this horse is having quite the week.
If you're in line to vote at The Conclave, STAY IN LINE.
SUPERB timing as always, #MetGala. Zero notes.
Fun to imagine the GOP's apopleptic meltdown if a President Harris proposed giving undocumented citizens $1000 cash and a free plane ticket.
If current events were any indicator, Sovereignty, Journalism, and American Dream would all be euthanized on the track.
I never understood how they sold the idea of an even match between Mr. Universe and Pornstache McChainmailtummy.
Need a browser plug-in that adds "UNNECESSARILY" to headlines about measles outbreaks.
Fucking hell I miss precedented times.
Hours before, Hegseth was bragging on Etsy about exactly when and where the jet was going to fall.
Loved the #Andor premiere(s). Is it me, or were these two inspired by the goons that Jackie Treehorn sends to harass The Dude?
#Andor inspires me with a spirit of rebellion against corporate imperialism as I stream the Disney app via Comcast internet on my Amazon TV.
In the past two days, I've consumed approximately ninety (90) egg-salad-centric meals.
Beard: ✅ ❌ ✅ ❌ ❌ Glasses: ❌ ✅ ❌ ✅ ❌ Hair: ✅ ❌ ✅ ❌ ✅ Tie: ✅ ✅ ✅ ❌ ❌ #diversity
Congratulations to Pete Hegseth on lasting almost 15 Scaramuccis.
[Edward Berger approaches the markerboard and writes "CONCLAVE$"]
We neeeeed a more permanent solution to our problem.
