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Writer. Former tweeter. Who knows anymore? Also on Threads @Kolchak. Buy me a coffee: coff.ee/zgrmbndfzv
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Ahead of its annual meeting in November, Tesla has rejected to address 11 shareholder proposals. From clean energy to discrimination on its factory floors, Elon doesn’t give a shit.
This is straight up nazi speak.
The bottle remains in the fridge…
I’m going to go ahead and say the delay had something to do with hair. It looks weird.
Possible excuses for being late to your own announcement: He was helping a domestic violence victim. The Diet Coke button broke. Despite an hour on ice, his face just kept melting. In a fetal position on the bathroom floor after being visited by the ghost of Jeffrey Epstein.
OH MY GOD. JUST CONFIRM IT SO I CAN POP MY BOTTLE OF SPARKLING GRAPE JUICE.
Maybe they’re trying to get J.D. to wear the wig.
I heard speculation it was pre-recorded, but assume that’s not the case since they’re 13 minutes late. How hard could it be to push a button?
The president still hasn’t posted about his “big announcement.” He posts to remind people to watch him on Sean Hannity. No way he wouldn’t hype an announcement from the Oval.
Question of the day: How can Jackson, Mississippi, have a higher murder rate than the murder capital of the entire world?
Humanized robots are the worst form factor for industry. Inefficient.
They aren’t going to produce that many.
By the way, that $30k number is being VERY nice. The base model Cybertruck was supposed to cost $49,900 and ended up being $60,990. Do you want a $50k robot in your house with no discernible use case?
Having seen the writing on the wall, Elon is effectively abandoning the EV business. 80% of Tesla’s valuation is now built on selling you a $30k robot that folds t-shirts about three times slower than you could. Truly remarkable grifting here. How much longer are people going to hold on?
After years of anticipation and much fanfare, Tesla launched in India in July. Per Bloomberg, they only sold 600 cars.
Ironing would be good.
What if RFK Jr steps up to the podium and thanks everyone for coming before announcing the Covid vaccine finally kicked in. Trump is now autistic. Then Trump enters and delivers a three hour lecture on different types of steam engines.
If Trump were okay, there’s no way he wouldn’t have posted on Truth Social about how tomorrow’s VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT already. Handlers may post about it later tonight. But he’d have already mentioned it at least twice.
Such a bummer. We need more anthologies. variety.com/2025/tv/news...
Imagine if garbage bags were mysteriously tossed out of a second story window in Joe Biden’s White House. Imagine the screeching from FOX News. Imagine how they’d ask if it had anything to do with the big Epstein press conference in two days.
Have you tried…decreasing the budgets? www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie...
How do you feel about this, @gerberkawasaki.bsky.social?
After years of false promises for FSD, it doesn’t matter anymore because robots. Tesla investors played once again. (By the way, the Optimus robot that scooped popcorn at the nazi diner has been broken down for weeks.)
Uh…
I know they won’t, but former presidents should boycott the funeral.
The vibes the last few days:
2024 vs 2025 Labor Day posts.
As far as I can tell, this marks the first time the word “ponder” has shown up on this account. Also whoever wrote this also forgot to capitalize CLIENT and ONE SIDED DISASTER.
Hey @jaketapper.bsky.social, I think there may be a massive health cover-up going on, if you’re interested in that sort of thing.
Unfortunately.
I guess *checks notes* an hour and 20 minutes from September doesn’t count as “around September”.
This is madness. www.thestreet.com/crypto/polic...
This seems worse than the CEO of Cracker Barrel greenlighting minimalist decor.
If you have money invested in Tesla, are you comfortable with the CEO spending all day trying to incite violence on the streets of the United Kingdom (in between masturbation sessions, obviously)?
It’s amazing he wasn’t given a position in this administration.
10 o’clock bedtime, huh? Seems kind of low energy.
Another day, another loss for this ghoulish administration. apnews.com/article/immi...
I miss when the president sometimes stuttered or had to take a nap but when he did he was surrounded by a responsible, professional cabinet so everything was fine.
Do you remember when Elon admitted in a deposition he had a burner account larping as his own toddler? I feel like we don’t talk about it enough.
They sneak it into the booklet of McDonald’s coupons.
If the tariffs are struck down by the supremes, we should all get refund checks for what’s already been levied.
To anyone saying these two things aren’t relevant or related, stop saying that.
I regret to inform you I have been gravely injured. I was helping paralyzed orphans cross a six-lane highway last night. Afterwards I got hit by an air conditioner that fell out of a window. Just thought you should know.
I wonder why? 🤔 www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...
A place for the most obnoxious people on Earth to congregate. Jackboots not included. www.cnn.com/2025/08/31/b...
I think I know who brought down Verizon.
It’s been 214 days since this tweet.
Finally a “peace president” to deliver us the Department of War.
When it happens and you finally pop that fancy bottle, don’t forget to give your animal friends extra treats, too.
Newsom press office is on fire today, just like every other day.
The president posted this. Swipe for the full reveal, because it’s very funny.
Elon has continued his campaign against the U.K. government today, saying Europe is being “raped” and pushing for violence.
Imagine waking up to the news that the entire world was cheering on your death all night, having a few egg McMuffins and then cheating at golf.
This is what breakfast would have looked like today if they paid Melania enough to be there.
We need a cool president who plays Sonic the Hedgehog instead of golfing.
Quick rundown: Trump: Alive. Democracy: Flatlining. Epstein files: Unreleased
“Many people are saying I died. Can you believe it? I didn’t. But if I did I would do it bigly. I will have the most loney, miserable death you’ve ever seen. Nobody knows how to die on a toilet like me. The paramedics will slip in Big Mac sauce and everything. It will be like a Paul Blart movie.”
Didn’t have any nightmares about Chuck Schumer licking foil Chobani lids, so that’s a win at least.
Tell your MAGA uncle he’s been replaced by a deep state body double, meaning any and all actions going forward are illegal.
I wake, yet the nightmare continues.
What a night
If he’s dead, you know a large contingent will blame it on the vaccine somehow.
Keep an eye out for some Gen Z intern busting out of the White House like this.
The energy is electric.
We all just really need ONE GOOD THING to happen. A little treat, you know?
Weekend at Donnie’s
I do enjoy nights when the entire internet collectively holds its breath, even if we’re all disappointed tomorrow.
So, uh…anyone noticing unusual activity in D.C.?
Honestly? I hope it’s painful.
Drudge has been relentless in going after Elon this year. And Trump, really.
FRET NOT, AMERICA. YOU ARE STILL BEING TAXED BIGLY UNTIL THE SUPREME COURT WEIGHS IN. HAVE FUN AT THE GROCERY STORE! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS BLATHER.
This is only going to keep escalating. www.npr.org/2025/08/29/n...
1) Fuck these people 2) There is an epidemic of violence AGAINST transgender people, who are 4x more likely to experience violent crime. They know this.
Prediction: they will release the Epstein files immediately after he dies and hand wave it away saying “this isn’t the time” and “we have to move on.”
I just realized I need to buy a bottle of sparkling grape juice in case it happens next week.
Elon sings the praises of Steve Witkoff, who just let Putin run all over him like a freshly paved driveway.
Unless, you know, you’re a professional economist.
The president can extend secret service protection via memorandum as they see fit. Trump could have done this with Mike Pence, for example. Of course he didn’t, because Trump wanted him dead anyway.
It’s natural to ask how the country could possibly have let this happen. But if you engage with conservatives online even briefly, it will become obvious. They are frighteningly stupid.
There is no reason to cancel Kamala Harris’ secret service protection early besides to signal to the mentally ill that she no longer has it. Zero.
This is incredibly embarrassing. We have never looked weaker. www.thetimes.com/world/asia/a...
Aside from the obvious nazism/racism and anger from them not buying his cars, what does Elon Musk stand to gain from fomenting civil war in Europe? I’m trying to see an angle that helps keep his multiple grifts afloat.
“Democrats are paying influencers $8,000” Republicans:
According to stock analysts, stoking a civil war in between gooning sessions is considered being “dialed-in” on a failing car company.
Elon is going all-in against immigrants in the U.K., constantly using war imagery and saying the government is committing treason. It’s an endless barrage of incitement and misinformation.
It’s all so predictable. www.businessinsider.com/trump-fundra...
Getting older means not knowing who 3/4ths of the people in TMZ headlines are.
Two days ago, Tesla board member James Murdoch unloaded 120,000 shares.
Tesla is the Theranos of Enrons.
“The federal government plans to hire private companies to use artificial intelligence to determine whether patients would be covered for some procedures, like certain spine surgeries or steroid injections.” This must be stopped. www.nytimes.com/2025/08/28/h...
Russian state media is talking about marching on Paris. The president is hawking books about himself.
Shortly after his appointment, I told a loved one RFK Jr. was going to set healthcare back 60 years. They said that wouldn’t happen. We were both wrong. I think it will be more than 60 years.
Trump can end any war except the one he campaigned on ending in 24 hours. www.nytimes.com/2025/08/28/w...
Make no mistake: they are coming for trans people. And we absolutely cannot let it happen.
Maybe this is why he keeps trying to get them to riot in the streets. electrek.co/2025/08/28/t...
