what a beautiful freaking day
what a beautiful freaking day
girl, if only
🥰🥰🥰 aww thank you !!
I just bought a friendship bracelet bc some children asked me to. I don't want a friendship bracelet at all. I think if I found a group of children adorable enough I would sign a multi-million dollar defense contract for them
my mom would always laugh at people who would have something like RIP BUBBA 1957-2012 on their windows. i know it's kind of funny to live in a place where multiple people have lost guys named Bubba, but man, they loved Bubba. i can't laugh at love, even if sometimes Bubba died by firework accident
i'm gonna be real with you, this past year has been so tough mentally that there were times where, had i lived in a small midwestern town and owned a 20 yr old acura, i would've no doubt bought a very large memorial sticker that covered my whole back window as a sign of my pain
i hate the way he looks at me with his muppet eyes
fr fr. i consider the MET just another friend to hang out with
BREAKING NEWS: A 6-year-old boy is floating away in a hot air balloon. Watch live: www.cnn.com/live
what is your favorite subway station art and why is it william wegman's mosaic weimaraners in the 23rd street f/m station
serial monogamist bpd girl i know constantly posts costar notifications on her story and i'm always like GIRL, DO NOT LISTEN!!! LAST THING YOU NEED RIGHT NOW
I was always very small as a kid due to chronic illness but my dad would always tell anyone who asked that it was bc he made me smoke cigarettes and sleep in a little bed
i do NOT act like i was born yesterday. if anything i act like i was born several days or even weeks ago
I've always found a lot of success in haphazardly jamming large sticks all around them to stabilize it. There are probably better ways but it makes me feel in touch with my ancient ancestors who also problem solved with big ol sticks, i presume
there was a sweetness about him that wasn't there when we used to spend every day together. i could not imagine the man sitting beside me today pulling my ponytail as he chased me up the stairs, but there was a time when he did. and i hold grudges
found him at the cookbook bookstore today and talked for an hour. he was in a corner reading about herbs
every white trash family has at least 6 cousins who look like this
when people hear i work in kitchens they often ask "do you say "yes chef" like in the bear?". the answer to that is that i don't but everyone else does. i have always just gone "ok! 😊" with an enthusiasm that makes chefs feel too bad to correct me
he kept saying "it's like bionics" over and over like he did something more than just cover his knee in duck tape
he says this is the exact same as KT Tape while being cheaper
getting really tired of having need of this meme
been at the eric adams scavenger hunt all day. mostly we were in a crawlspace under a house in howard beach learning “how to out-hustle the rats.” not sure what this does for the campaign
Ok, well this is great to see right as I head to Hastings to see if they need any help.....
i'm too young to remember 9/11 which means the first news story that really made an impact on me was the severed finger in the bowl of chili at Wendy's
i can always count on the health food store to have the weird salts containing grains of sand and other ocean detritus that i crave
the world would be a much more beautifuller place if we all slowed down and set aside an hour or two for naptime....
Long Island Universe.....
Anyways, back to what I was saying. I think you're basically normal
You got a slot on the top of your head like a piggy bank
it clangs around in there like a marble in an altoids tin
I was joking before but seeing how long it took you to reply I am now genuinely worried you have a brain the size of a petite melon
I follow 63,000 people on bluesky and I support Gavin Newsom
wow i did not realize they had those hours. 5 hr days 3 days a week is getting into "only good food in hudson county, new jersey" hours
i love their specials and their late night hours! you can go there at 9:30pm on a Wednesday for a thai tea eclair and it kind of feels like someone is going to come out from the back wearing a mask made of human skin and attack you with a meat hook
SUPERMOON BAKEHOUSE NUMBER ONE NYC BAKERY THAT LOOKS LIKE A CRIME SCENE
my favorite pre visitor ritual is the buying of their snack. i love to turn to my guest and say "i bought you the tiny cans of dr pepper you love"
Good for HIM!!!
that was really uncalled for and frankly unacceptable. i apologize. i don't really regret it but i apologize
same size as your brain....
"does this train go to-" LET ME STOP YOU RIGHT THERE! do not ask me that! i am two notches above a demented 80 yr old at all times. i barely know where i am. if you told me to draw a clock rn the shit i would come up with would be insane
Need 600 dollars due to recent personal tragedy. Picture is not related, I cannot figure out how to delete it. The money is not for that. I don’t know what it is even
I swear sometimes they do that just to watch us run at them
I've always thought this about you
sometimes i put on a chakra balancing guided meditation when i sleep just because the sound relaxes me, but honestly i've never finished it. I've only been conscious for the top two chakras and then i fall asleep. all my other chakras are out of wack
ughhhh. i swear it's every day with this guy
me and fenix citigroup spent a tense 2 months as roommates in bensonhurst before he punched a hole in the wall because i asked him to venmo me $8 to pay back his half of the communal paper towels
Right!!! Once you go too big, the ratio is all off. It's frankly vulgar
i'm pretty plugged-in to middle aged mom cake decorator instagram so i still see them sometimes. the ones that really piss me off are when they put them in a popsicle mold. if i bit into a popsicle and found room temperature cake instead i think I'd attack someone
overalls are forever, queen. i may be biased coming from a long line of adult overall wearers but i'm never going to stop
just an incredibly strange cultural entity. not bad but not really anything at all. a mediocre theatre kid who made a wish that somehow came true. the last vestige of an almost completely dead mass media whose edges have been ground down into non-existence. disneyland as a human
i would be willing to be hit and grievously injured by a car driven by an inebriated taylor swift if it meant that i wouldn't hear about her after the trial concludes
these are the most expensive shoes i've bought in my entire life and apparently the people at the birkenstock store get them brought to the showroom via a weird hole in the wall that basement people stick their hands out of
honestly, real shoe is pretty similar to virtual shoe. if you told a guy 30 years ago that in 2025 you could virtually wear a shoe he'd probably be really confused. if you went even further and told him about 9/11, he'd be even more confused and wonder why you opened with talking about virtual shoes
i have gotten probably a dozen emails from nj transit about the jonas brothers bc i lived there for a year and just didn't bother to unsubscribe and honestly? the mta wishes
went to muji for the first time today. what a calming environment. i bought a single towel
i did this while drunk on the train the other day and then forgot about it
DAMN BRO WE LIVIN IN 3025
when i'm out walking around, there's nothing scarier for me to encounter than a group of teenagers. as a woman in my mid-20s i live in fear every day that i will once again be bullied by 9th graders
i love when i put a destination into google maps looking for directions and it tells me it will only take 10 minutes to get there if i simply stay in place for 3 hours before proceeding on my journey
You're the realest guy I know, at this point
pigeonmaxxing (eating bread in park)
I knew about him way before but that's cool
i often conduct myself like a zelda npc
they had a lot more ticker tape lying around back then
he's lurking and he's stalking
Should've got a frog door
eric adams ive been spending a lot of time in your beautiful backyard eric adams come out and talk to me
Lol I didn't even check how long it had been. I just started speaking
they say the sense most strongly linked to memory is smell, so maybe that's true. you wanted to remember it as best as you could
remember when we ate all that grass 😂🦗
i remember us being locusts together. we ate the 1874 harvest together
it is insane that fast food prices have tripled in the past 5 yrs and none of that has even touched the workers anywhere along that supply chain
$1 milkshake...... The 90s were such a great time for us milkshake heads....
when i was like 10-11 i used to spend large amounts of time mildly cyberbullying the missionaries put in charge of the mormon dot org chatroom. i did this until one day when my dad got my older mormon cousin to repeat back things i said verbatim like i had been talking to him & it hurt his feelings
Sounds like they just stuck those guys in an oven
paying a group of middle school girls to sit in the front row of my magician arch-rival's show looking unimpressed and saying things like "that's embarrassing" to upset him
this dog wedding feels kinda lesbian in a way i can't articulate but i can't say for sure
i like this one because they are weird looking. they are weird looking and they are heterosexually entwined
i am against this heteronormative society and its expectations, but also i do think that it's fun when they put a dog in a tuxedo and another dog in a dress and make them have a wedding. i used to google dog wedding a lot so i could see this kind of thing
sometimes i open a private browser just to search things like "peanut butter and jelly sandwich"! i don't need anyone or anything to have insight into the inner machinations of my mind!
that's the nathan's that made me wait 45 minutes for a plain hotdog
I bet you're embarrassed now
They are married
a lot of people think they're related, which isn't true. they are both pennsylvanian, though
the more factors, the better. that's what i always say
God has given the salt lick to the deer
yeaaaaa!!! mayo on a grilled cheese has been my go-to for years. as a kid I'd cover the outside in mayo and finely grated cheese
i just learned today after a half decade of baking bread as part of my career that you can water down mayonnaise and it makes a great egg wash. why were they keeping this information from me
sometimes you see an artist's rendering of a neanderthal and you can tell they were thinking of some guy they know
you know what? i reckon it is
Mister Rogers never misses
if i could pinpoint where my life went wrong, it would probably be when i lost $50,000 on a ten bet special olympics parlay. in hindsight, i shouldn't have bet on someone's leg growing back but i was so caught up in the idea of winning a trillion dollars
i'm in mole bushwick rn looking at these mfs through my periscope and laughing
i don't really use my phone on the train. that's kind of my special time. the time i spend contemplating the train
