There needs to be some kind of government campaign to explain to all mobility scooter drivers that they are NOT MEANT TO BE DRIVING THEM ON THE ROADS 🙄
There needs to be some kind of government campaign to explain to all mobility scooter drivers that they are NOT MEANT TO BE DRIVING THEM ON THE ROADS 🙄
Oh GOD. Not Robert!!! Bloody hell. The world is a poorer place without that face 😫
It’s a given that all tories are *selfish* cunts, but are they all *racist* cunts? I guess we’ll find out…
I’ve got a rotten cold & cough which just feels wrong seeing as how I refuse to believe summer’s over
Cigs get really good in the middle.
Well. I really don’t know how to reply to that. You’re wrong, obviously.
It’s quite fun just missing #totp and then trying to piece together the madness of the episodes from your tweets
Radiohead!!! I’m not a bot!! I just wanted tickets for my son 😩
Little Tommy Tuchel is the Noddy character that never was #engvsrb
Today wasn’t actually hell on earth. (shoutout to my fellow #bromcom users. YOU KNOW)
Not if fucking Jamiroquai turns up
You mean Opal Fruits
Quote post with your own very dramatic (or otherwise) black and white selfie.
To anyone else watching #pointless right now - are you also wishing you were dead?
Chuffin smashing it! 💪🏻
Female rugby players have far more elaborate hairstyles than female football players. You’re welcome.
This could be us, but Bob doesn’t fancy you
My fella has just informed me that “Bobby Gee was the creative force behind Bucks Fizz” wtf #totp
WTF #totp
Fuck it. I’m sticking Cagney & Lacey on and having a brandy. Get it, Friday night 💪🏻
But they’re all flat. Flat as a fart #totp
Graham Linehan is a cunt, but I’m not sure we should be arresting people for being a cunt. There’s far too many of them.
I saw a black and white Union Jack flag in someone’s garden today, and it messed with my head
So many fucking covers! ‘98 was a dearth of originality #totp
The systems at work have crashed again. Third day on the bounce.
Then do it!!!!
Using the news as a flimsy excuse to repost my favourite Far Side cartoon ever.
Top gif work
My dad has just had one of these removed! He snapped his calf bone and it had to be regrown 🤢
Autumnal modesty
Sorry about this miserable post...
A man on the streets of the UK is asked about the “problem of immigration” and dismantles talking points with ease.
Some days are even worse than you worry they’ll be. Hello, Wednesday.
I sometimes wish I could be one of those people who “doesn’t care about politics”, but then I remember that’s just a fancy way of declaring yourself a selfish thicko
Yet
Just been to the pub and was invited to join in some random old bloke’s birthday party. Snaffled some vol-au-vents
Read that wrong and thought you were calling me a nonce
Imagine if you're Sisyphus, laboring, pushing that boulder, and then Kate Bush runs past you and up the hill with a graceful ease, her sheer billowy white dress trailing behind her before she disappears into the golden orb of the setting sun at the peak
Go for it. I don't even care any more.
Melinda & I stroked the stingray.
the care bears blew all my limbs off with their tummy beams cause i guess i wasn't being kind enough to my friends or something? anyway, didn't help
Gotta be
Sadly not. They’re mainly still supporting the psychotic nazi man 🫤
Struggling for any interaction. It’s been a big shift from dumping Twitter after 13 years and nearly 5000 followers.
I shouldn’t have to put up with this level of unwarranted side eye
It’s like pissing in the wind on here
Is there a more batshit sport than the steeplechase? Absolutely pointless and bonkers.
I am sickened by the relentless demonisation of refugees. No refugee underfunded a school. No refugee closed a hospital. No refugee took away support from the sick and disabled. We need solutions not scapegoats. Stop blaming refugees and tax the rich instead!
Strong t-shirt game
Oh boy, I feel rough today. Drinking from 3pm to 1am in the garden with my mates seemed like a great idea at the time… 🥴
How did Mallett avoid Yewtree? #totp
My fella thought that Sonya was Aveline in Bread 😆 #totp
I deserve it 😩
I know fuck all about rugby, but I’m very keen to batter the USA in any way possible.
I’ve had to turn #totp off. It’s fucking dreadful. I was 18! How unfair is that!!
I once saw Keith Barron eating an ice cream in Windsor #claimtofame
Denis Healy one pushed past me in a book shop queue #claimtofame
😆😆 They were stone cold foxes!! 🦊
I appreciate you. I really miss all the others too. I hope they’re happy out there.
I deleted my twitter account because it’s owned by a Nazi, and I refuse to make him even richer. But I really do miss the community. Almost five thousand followers, all gone. I miss keeping up with their lives. Fuck Musk hard in the ear hole.
I live by the sea too, and probably eat both your shares. You’re welcome.
When I grow up I want to be Mary Beth Lacey
Friday
Homemade custard is a waste of life and tastes only half as lush.
Can’t keep him forever in that cage he gets locked in ❤️
He will. That’s his pattern. I really wish he’d stop thinking he has any place showing his grim face, though. Fucking liberty.
Oh, hey. My black dog turned up today. No idea who invited that twat, but he’s here. I’m watching terrible comfort telly and drinking wine. Dunno if that will help, but it’s my effort. Solidarity to anyone else out there who also has an unwelcome visitor ❤️
Ooh, you’re right. I’ve never ever noticed these before now. Very pretty
I walked past these and have no clue what they are. Any ideas?
The biggest downside to being around other people, is having to tolerate their body odour. Christ.
I’m at the theatre, and at the risk of sounding like a conceited Tory cunt, I can’t believe what some people are wearing. You’re in public! Look in a mirror, ffs
I just saw Bring Her Back, at the cinema, and my partner is utterly traumatised 😆 He spent the entire film with his top covering his specs. Tbf, it was pretty rancid. I highly recommend it!
I just watched Talk To Me, and now I’m a bit scared to go to bed 🫤
Somebody fucking kill me. #totp #robbie
I mean, 10 deniers, in ‘98? No. #totp
Celine is a brilliantly weird human being #totp
I have an irrational hatred of Texas. No clue why. Sorry. #totp
It’s absolutely killed me that Colin Sutton has joined Reform. I totally thought he was a decent man
Tuesday
Currently having a conversation about which of the McGann brothers is our favourite. Topical.
I love #sewingbee but I do find myself longing for the days when Claudia a Winkleman was the host. It’s just never worked as well since.
Aww ☺️ give over!! I’m very much feeling like a middle aged, perimenopausal, frump!! But thank you ❤️❤️
One day you’re wild and cool, sticking it to the man, and living life on the edge. The next, you’re excited to stay home and complete a jigsaw. Never been happier 🥰
My kids have been on holiday with their grandma for a week, and they’re back tomorrow. It feels like Christmas Eve 🤩🤩🤩🥰
You’re a good socialist *also pats on head*
Jesus Christ. Just how massive a nerd would you look in these fucking things. Give over.
Didn’t he fight a dragon? Where does the lion come in?
I’ve just watched #unforgivable Oof. It’s brutal. The acting is so strong it’s relentless. Not a single weak link in it. Only watch if you’re having a good mental health day x
Why is the lion the symbol of England? The only lions we’ve ever seen are in zoos. Shouldn’t it be something native? Like a squirrel? Or a cat?
Hard agree. I also want a piglet please.
This genuinely made me laugh out loud 😆
Absolutely amazed that nobody’s said “up your bum” yet
This has broken my heart. Oh Colin, how could you 😩 www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home...
Who keeps grabbing people’s hands away from the prince?! 😆
The love child of Frida Kahlo, and Dot Cotton, doesn’t look happy #euros
My heart is still pounding like a drum! What a final. I’m so proud of our team. Shove that up your Ballon d’Or!!!
