The problem with torn jeans is they don't tear easily. I look at them and think "What were they doing to wear out the knees so badly?"
Novelist, teacher, game designer, general badass (ret.) matthewkagle.com vacuumgenesis.com
351 followers 886 following 640 posts
view profile on Bluesky
The problem with torn jeans is they don't tear easily. I look at them and think "What were they doing to wear out the knees so badly?"
Fewer blockbusters? What ever will we do?
My mother's rabbi (when she was a kid in Detroit) was atheist.
If you have to calculate the damage done to your life after an algebra class, is that math aftermath math?
Bernie's a bit socialist
Was Wesley so good at everything because of True Love or was he capable of True Love because he was good at everything? #princessbride
Seems some agents want the author to propose a promotional strategy for their book when submitting it. Now I have something new to stress over. #amquerying
I was asked during an interview what fruit I was. I also picked pomegranate. Then they asked why. Uhhhhhhhhh
Welp, it's official, I've submitted query letters to every agent on the planet. Anyone on Neptune interested in a historical fiction/magical realism novel? #amquerying
If you’re wondering what’s going on today over on Twitler….
Hmm, how to end it? #writingcommunity
Doing an old NYT crossword reprinted in the Sunday press with @perchperchson.bsky.social and that’s how I learned that “Marisa Tomei” is an anagram for “It’s a me, Mario.” This feels impossible, correct, and like an Italian American hate crime all at once.
he’s gay AND Tom cruise?? he really CAN do it all, wow
Know how anxious you are when you're low on gas or your phone is nearly out of battery? Buy a hybrid and get both at the same time!
Still a square for me
Also, I think the Snarkout Boys and the Avocado of Death is unfilmable
I've found this to be true so often.
You and Sarah Silverman share that attitude, if about different people. youtu.be/QlkpvIKcbik?...
It's not a bad idea. The problem is my son does the recording and he's put a moratorium on too much silliness.
Been watching Building the Band, and I'm left with one burning question: Are pearl necklaces for men fashionable?
Part two of using towels in Muay Thai. It doesn't go well. www.instagram.com/p/DM77c1mPbAc/
I just realized false eyelashes scare the heck out of me.
Thought I'd try It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. First episode ends with SA as a joke. Maybe not.
Impressive. There are layers of incorrectness here. I know, you might rush to list one. Don't. Savor it like a fine wine. Allow them to meld together in a melange that lingers. It isn't wrong; that's reserved for people trying to be right. It's a treat for the senses, like a fresh pile of bullshit.
Part 1 www.instagram.com/reel/DMq9ZNz...
Didn't realize she was so prolific. That's the story that made me look for the Riddlemaster book
Have you read her short story The Throme of the Erril of Sherill?
Ffs why are you choosing at the screen? You've been standing there for 10 minutes! You should know what you want.
Just spray water on their faces. They'll stop.
Just a little stretching... www.instagram.com/p/DMWTzPlyP1...
Walked past Gilbert Gottfried on the streets of Philadelphia. He was scratching his head and looking lost.
#Ironheart is a show about toxic friendships. Hope future seasons have the characters realize it.
Two wrongs may not make a right, but three left do.
Watching most Dracula movies and am struck by how intense the beginnings are when we first meet the Count. In the book, he comes across as ordinary at first. One scene has Harker coming across him lying on a couch reading a book. I'd like to see that some day.
But Bridges did play along!
I thought they were doing better
I have many lists for different things. I have often wondered what would happen if they got deleted. I haven't had the guts, I suppose. Besides, some of them are good ideas!
The something is everything. I have a creative to do list that is longer than you are tall
Also, being tired makes it worse. It's like living in a hurricane. What really makes it better is high pressure. When things become dangerous, I suddenly become very focused. The more serious, the more focus. Skydiving was WEIRD.
Its not creative pursuits in specific that are hard. At any moment, some stray thought will come by and my mind will follow it. Sometimes several minutes will pass before I even realize it. The caffeine reduces that just a little. Not as much as something like Ritalin, but some.
I don't drink much, but I have ADHD and it helps me focus. The creativity is the easy part. Doing something with it is hard.
Turns out, the more query letters you send, the better your rejection % looks on QueryTracker. #amquerying
When your opponent won't stop moving. www.instagram.com/p/DLikglXP-hE/
Just had a discussion with my child about if minotaurs would be kosher.
Really? The name is so absurd I ignored it.
Listened to the podcast and how breathlessly they were looking forward to telling Abby's story and I really couldn't care less. Maybe if they'd had that as part of the season, but waiting another three years to know how she tracked Ellie down? Why bother?
I gotta pearl. I gotta pearl. I gotta pearl.
Best day of my life. www.instagram.com/reel/DLLpzw0...
Gonzo is only interested in chickens.
Tell me how old you are without telling me how old you are. Doesn't matter what knee I put the brace on. It's always the other one that hurts.
I wonder if #JohnOliver is honestly self conscious about his looks. We should start a hashtag. Something like #SliceOfSmokingHotOliverLoaf to cheer him up.
Brooklyn Six-Nine #NaughtyASitcom
For fans of Ti Kwan Leep. BOOT TO THE HEAD. www.instagram.com/reel/DK-f57_...
✨👏🏾STANDING OVATION👏🏾✨
Some guy shouted "You want illegal aliens living in your house?" and for the life of me I can't figure out what he meant.
Overmind
Every now and again, it's important to remember what Wheat Thins did. vimeo.com/75501249
TFW: You submit to an agent and they change their MSWL to exclude your book.
Although the picture was from Red Square
Yeah, I really can't tell. Funny either way
washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/tlg/d/wa...
Lady and the Tramp gave me the wrong impression that Italian restaurants provide free food and accordion music to dogs.
Listening to #lastofusseason2 podcast. They're excited about all the questions they'll answer next season, but with each one they say, my response has been "Meh." It's like when Lucas said "Ever wonder what Vader was like as a kid?" "Meh."
Dear HBO:Max, I don't care about Abby's story. I certainly don't want to wait two years to see Abby's story.
Flying is the most boring superhero movement power. Literally anything else is better.
Yeah, but the copay would be insane
The Aristocrats
Oh, we studied that artist in college!
Day-um!
Yes! Throwing fish instead of shooting
No, wait, who was the guy who threw fish at everything?
Explains why so many of my therapists were nuts
Robocop where Robocop is played by the Swedish Chef
A little tired of "all the characters in the movie are Muppets but one." How about: One character in a famous movie is a Muppet. Name the movie, character, and Muppet.
Can someone explain to me what they're selling? www.visualtargeting.shop
Chicago Pope was my favorite Mandy Patinkin tv show.
And we're climbing and climbing and climbing...
You can disagree with the conclusion, but the evidence is worth observing. www.instagram.com/reel/DJEUNKM...
Blatant favoritism
Sith are supposed to kill their masters. Vader killed his master. How is that "returning" as a Jedi?
Teachers were purged if they weren't members of the Nazi party (years after the purge of Jewish teachers). Tests included questions where you'd calculate what percentage of the German population were Jews and which were "real Germans." They didn't have to help understanding. It was out in the open
as an Aspen, the views of this individual do NOT represent the views of my community
Same, my man. Same.
How to freak out your teacher. www.instagram.com/anhfairtex/r...
youtube.com/shorts/xvriw...
Any anime fans want to guess who this is?
Me: Hello. Sorry if I can't hear you. I have new ear buds in. I'm not sure how they work. Them: *call center noises* Me: How can I help you? Them: You don't have to help me. *click*
Regarding Elon Nazi Musk. It doesn't matter if he steps down from DOGE, we must BOYCOTT EVERYTHING he is involved with until the end of time. NEVER EVER GIVE HIM EVEN ONE MORE DOLLAR.
My introduction to Geena Davis www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7g5...
Perhaps it was when the light from Hanukah on Earth reached the station
And misogyny! Don't forget the misogyny.
How does it end?
I don't get medical terms. There's nothing magical about occult blood. There's nothing funny about hysterical pregnancy.
"Why is this fight different from all other fights?" www.instagram.com/reel/DIZ8_vF...
People are weird. You look at them through their car window, they're fine. You watch them through their shower window and they freak out.
Having matzo ball soup and bacon because I'm a rebel.
And yet Disney expunged all their content with trans characters in it. www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEgv...
I love that cover
Nobody brought back auspicious wolves. What does that say about us as a species?